Hair Ornaments

When Fon Shaoling burst out of Hu's room, she looked nothing like her usual self.

The sleeve of her kimono caught on the doorframe, pulling a crease into the fabric. Most of her carefully arranged bun had come loose, and a few stray strands clung to her sweat-damp forehead. Tears had made a mess of her makeup, but she ran on without a trace of composure.

Tears still filled her eyes, and the blush of embarrassment had yet to fade from her cheeks. She looked as though she had escaped from a nightmare.

Sakiro stood around the corner at the end of the corridor.

She had been keeping watch nearby the whole time.

When those sounds came from Hu's room, she had wanted to go inside and see what was happening. But that was between Hu and Fon Shaoling. All she could do was wait here and make sure she could respond at once if anything happened.

Then she saw Fon Shaoling burst out.

Sakiro instinctively stepped forward, wanting to say something.

Fon Shaoling ran past her without stopping.

"Traitor."

The word struck Sakiro in the face like a shard of ice.

"Don't follow me."

Without looking back, Fon Shaoling rushed into her office and slammed the door shut.

Sakiro stood rooted to the spot.

Traitor.

She gave a bitter smile.

Maybe.

But as she watched Fon Shaoling's retreating figure, she felt that the chill, the distortion, that heart-stopping darkness she had seen in the dungeon... seemed to have faded considerably.

It was as if something had torn a hole in a thick layer of dark clouds, letting a little light through.

Sakiro sighed softly.

That boy Hu really had made a difference.

She turned and headed for Hu's room.

Several attendants stood in the corridor, staring open-mouthed in the direction Fon Shaoling had disappeared. They had never seen their princess like this—the ever-poised and graceful Princess Shaoling, the princess held in such high esteem in Bamboo Creek Plain, the head of the clan who handled its affairs with meticulous care...

How did she end up like this?

"She... came out of Lord Ye Xing's room, didn't she?"

A young attendant spoke in a low voice.

The others exchanged glances.

Soon, the news began to spread among the Fon Clan's attendants—

No one knew exactly what had happened, but everyone had seen the princess come running out in tears. The creased kimono, the loose strands of hair, and the tears she had shed along the way...

Sakiro reached the door to Hu's room.

It was slightly ajar.

She pushed it open gently and saw the scene inside.

With his back to her, Hu crouched beside the table. Several golden hair ornaments lay scattered across the table and floor, and he was picking them up one by one, slowly and gently.

His figure looked utterly forlorn.

Sakiro opened her mouth, but the words she wanted to say caught in her throat.

She had come to thank him. To thank him for stopping Fon Shaoling's rampage, at least for now, and for tearing a hole in that darkness.

But seeing Hu like that, she couldn't say a word. He had pulled Fon Shaoling back from the edge of the abyss, but what about Hu himself? Perhaps it had been an impossible romance from the start, but wasn't it a little too cruel to wake a boy from his dream in such a way?

He stood there gathering the hair ornaments that had been thrown to the floor. Fon Shaoling had carefully put them on that morning. Now they lay scattered on the table, dust clinging to them, like his feelings, destroyed just as they had begun to sprout.

Hu must have been hurting.

Sakiro quietly withdrew.

The door closed gently without making a sound.

Hu didn't notice any of this and continued gathering the hair ornaments. He picked them up one by one, wiped them clean with his sleeve, and arranged them in a row on the table.

The most eye-catching was a butterfly-shaped hairpin. Tiny gemstones were set into its golden wings, sparkling in the sunlight. He placed it in the very center and arranged the others symmetrically on either side.

Then he stood there, looking at them.

He couldn't get the sight of Fon Shaoling's tearful face out of his head.

He couldn't accept her putting her feelings on a shelf and using them as a bargaining chip. That was a desecration of all the beautiful memories they shared.

But seeing her cry had still made him very sad.

He didn't know why he was gathering the hair ornaments, either.

Perhaps it was because, if he didn't do something, he would keep thinking about her tearful face.

Now he was finished.

There was nothing left to do.

The anguish in his heart hadn't lessened in the slightest.

Hu turned, opened the door, and went out. He needed some fresh air.

Outside the Fon Residence, Hu walked aimlessly along Bamboo Creek Plain's central street.

He didn't know where he was going. He just didn't want to stay in his room.

The sun was already high in the sky when he walked out of the Fon Clan's gates. Its rays felt warm on his skin, but he still felt cold inside.

He simply walked along the road in front of the gates, losing track of how long he had been walking.

"Well, if it isn't the young man from yesterday!"

A voice came from beside him.

Hu turned and saw a man in a Soul Reaper uniform standing by the road, smiling at him.

It was the Soul Reaper stationed here whom he had met yesterday.

The one with the Kyoto accent.

Today, he was alone.

"What a coincidence." The man came over, his eyes narrowing to slits. "Out for a walk by the river?"

Hu paused, only then realizing that he had wandered near a river without noticing.

"...Yeah."

"By yourself?" The man looked behind him. "Your friend didn't come along?"

Hu remained somewhat quiet.

The man's smile deepened as he watched his reaction.

"You look especially down. Something on your mind?"

Hu said nothing.

"All right, all right, I won't ask." The man waved a hand. "But since we've run into each other, let's chat a little. Walking alone is so boring."

As he spoke, he sat down on a rock by the road and patted the spot beside him.

"Come on, sit for a while."

Hu looked at him, hesitated, then sat down.

The man gazed out at the river and said leisurely:

"I've been looking at this river for years. I pass by here every morning on patrol. Sometimes the water gets very muddy, but after it flows for a while, it always clears up."

Hu said nothing.

"People are the same," the man continued. "Sometimes things just don't go your way, but you still have to keep moving forward. If you stop, you're really done for."

Hu finally spoke, his voice a little hoarse:

"Have you... always been stationed around here?"

"Yeah." The man nodded. "For years. I've met plenty of people and heard plenty of stories."

He turned to look at Hu.

"You don't look like you're from around here, young man. Haven't been in Soul Society long, have you?"

"Almost a month."

"A month, huh?" The man nodded thoughtfully. "That makes you a newcomer to Soul Society. And the thing newcomers are most likely to run into is—"

He paused, an inexplicable glint flashing through his narrowed eyes.

"Falling for someone they shouldn't."

Hu's heart gave a sudden lurch.

The man watched his reaction and smiled.

"Did I guess right?"

Hu opened his mouth, but couldn't speak.

"Don't be nervous. It was just an offhand guess." The man stretched. "But falling for someone you shouldn't? That really is trouble."

His gaze grew distant, as though he were looking somewhere far away.

"If you're feeling bad, tell your uncle here about it. Maybe I can help."

Hu turned to look at him.

"Don't go taking liberties. Looking at you, I'd call you big brother at most."

The man smiled.

"All right, big brother it is. So, is there anything your big brother can help you with?"

Hu remained silent, unsure what to say.

The man smiled again, an indefinable meaning in his smile.

"Little brother, there's nothing shameful about liking someone. You don't need to think so much about it, either."

He turned to look at Hu.

"No matter how it turns out, it's better than regretting later that you did nothing."

Hu's heart stirred.

"Then... what if she..." He struggled to get the words out. "What if she says she'll never like you?"

"Oh? You're much braver than you look. You've already confessed?" The man smiled faintly. "Never? That's a very strong word. But you see, liking her is your business, and rejecting you is hers. As long as you don't disturb each other's lives, your liking her actually has nothing to do with her. Liking someone isn't doing business, so why must you get something in return?"

Hu was stunned. That was right. Liking someone while caring about what they gave him in return wasn't all that different from what she had wanted to do. One was an exchange of benefits for feelings; the other was an exchange of feelings for feelings.

"But you're still impressive." The man narrowed his eyes. "Me, I've never been very good at saying those... uh, straightforward things, not since I was little. Words like 'I like you' or 'I want to be with you' always feel like a piece of candy that's too sweet in my mouth. I just can't swallow them."

Hu nodded, agreeing somewhat. If not for a chance coincidence, he wouldn't have been able to say it either.

The man looked at his own palm and said, "So I figured:

"As long as I did it, that would be enough."

"Protect her, watch over her, clear away everything that gets in her way—isn't that much easier than talking?" The man's relaxed hand instinctively clenched, and when he noticed, he quickly loosened it again. "I'm just talking, you know. If you can't work it out, you could try thinking about it that way too."

Hu fell silent.

The man stood up and brushed the dirt off his clothes.

"All right, I should get back to patrol. Take your time thinking it over, little brother."

He turned to leave, then suddenly stopped.

"Oh, right, little brother, let me ask you something."

"What is it?"

"That blue sword yesterday... did you make it yourself?"

"I guess you could say that."

The man gave a thoughtful "oh" and asked no more.

After he had taken a few steps, Hu suddenly remembered that they had met three times, and he didn't even know the man's name.

"Big brother, what's your name?"

The man looked back and smiled with narrowed eyes.

"Me..." The dried persimmon a girl had given him many years ago flashed through the man's mind. "Shi. The shi in dried persimmon."

Hu repeated the name in his head.

"Brother... Shi?"

"Yeah." The man waved. "I'm off, little brother. See you next time."

His figure soon disappeared at the end of the road.

Hu sat there, looking in that direction. He only half understood what the man called Shi had said, but somehow it made him feel a little better.

By the time Hu returned to the Fon Clan, it was nearly noon.

As soon as he opened the door and went inside, he sensed something strange about the atmosphere.

The attendants he met along the way all gave him sharper looks when they saw him. Some lowered their eyes and pretended not to see him; others stepped aside to let him pass, but wore obvious expressions of coldness.

Hu was somewhat bewildered.

He continued inside and came to the dining hall.

It was mealtime, and the dining hall was fairly crowded. Hu carried his plate to the serving window. The auntie who was usually always smiling glanced at him, and the ladle in her hand trembled. Instead of giving him the usual full scoop of food, she gave him only half.

Hu looked at the food on his plate, then at the auntie.

She turned away without expression and ignored him.

Hu carried his plate to a seat and sat down.

When the attendants around him saw him, they all carried their plates around him. Hu sat alone, an empty space all around him. He looked down at the half scoop of food on his plate and pondered for a long while before it finally dawned on him. These people must have found out about Fon Shaoling running out like that this morning.

Hu gave a bitter smile.

He didn't know how to explain.

He silently finished his meal and returned the empty plate.

As he walked out of the dining hall, he heard a burst of whispering behind him.

He pretended not to hear and kept walking.

When Hu returned to his room, he had barely pushed the door open before he froze.

Someone was inside.

Cilian stood beside the table, his back to the door.

The first thing Hu saw was the hair ornaments on the table—the row of golden ornaments he had arranged that morning, now right in front of Cilian.

Cilian was staring at them, his face dark.

Hu's heart leaped into his throat.

He was just about to speak when Cilian noticed his arrival.

Cilian turned around, holding the butterfly hairpin in his hand. Now that he had removed the eyepatch he had worn when he had only one eye, his gaze was sharper than before, or at least that was how it seemed to Hu.

The moment those eyes fixed on Hu, he felt as though a wild beast had locked onto him. Cold sweat broke out across his back.

Cilian did not speak right away. He simply stared at him.

Hu stood there, not daring to move.

The room was terrifyingly quiet.

After a long while, Cilian finally spoke.

His voice was calm, so calm it was frightening:

"Were these hair ornaments... the ones Shaoling wore this morning?"

Hu nodded.

Cilian looked away from him and back at the hair ornaments.

"She actually wore these when she came to see you this morning."

Cilian put the butterfly hairpin back among the ornaments. After a moment of silence, he walked over to Hu and looked at him.

His reddened eyes stared into Hu's from close range.

Hu's breath caught.

Hu opened his mouth to say something, but Cilian gave him no chance.

"Did you turn her down this morning?"

Hu's heart gave a violent thump. He nodded repeatedly.

Only then did Cilian breathe a little easier, the sharpness in his reddened eyes fading somewhat.

"Princess Shaoling, Her Highness is a woman of her word. I never expected her to go this far over this matter..."

He turned and walked back to the table, looking at the hair ornaments again.

"Her Highness... has been like this since she was little. She's very strong-willed. When she feels wronged, she says nothing, keeping everything bottled up inside. It was the same when her mother died young, and again when her father and brothers passed away."

His voice grew somewhat subdued.

"We all thought the things that happened a hundred years ago wouldn't affect her much. After all, she'd endured so much. We retainers were negligent."

Hu stood there, unsure what to say.

Cilian looked at the golden butterfly hairpin, studying it for a while.

"This is something the first madam left her before she passed away," he said. "Whenever Her Highness makes an important decision, she always takes it with her."

He turned to look at Hu.

"I'm truly grateful that you managed to stop her in time." With that, he bowed to Hu.

Hu hurriedly stepped aside. "Instructor Cilian, how could I possibly accept that?"

Cilian walked up to him and pressed down on his shoulder. Hu felt a heavy weight.

"But—"

Cilian paused, his reddened eyes looking straight at Hu.

"But you'd better remember this, kid."

His tone suddenly turned stern.

"You made her cry and let her run out looking like that—I'm keeping score."

Hu's heart tightened.

Cilian stared at him and spoke word by word:

"I can count on one hand the number of times that child has cried in front of me since she was little. When her father died, when her mother died, and when her older brothers left her one by one."

His voice trembled slightly.

"But she's never cried this hard before."

Hu opened his mouth to say something, only to find that he could not get a word out.

Cilian released his shoulder and stepped back.

"I don't know exactly what happened between you two." He turned and looked at the hair ornaments on the table again. "But I do know one thing—"

With his back to Hu, he spoke in a low voice.

"If she really hated you, she never would have worn these things to see you. If she really had no feelings for you, she would have just sneered when you turned her down today, then gone about her business."

Hu's throat felt as though something were blocking it.

Seeing him like that, Cilian suddenly sighed.

"You really do like her, don't you, kid?"

Hu nodded vigorously.

Cilian was silent for a while, then reached out and patted his shoulder.

This time, his touch was much lighter than before.

"Then don't give up," he said. "The way she is now isn't her true self. Once she's sorted out all those tangled thoughts of hers—try again."

"But she just said..."

"It doesn't matter what she said." Cilian cut him off. "What matters is what you intend to do."

He turned toward the door, took a few steps, then stopped.

"Oh, right. Those hair ornaments."

Hu looked at the row of golden ornaments on the table.

"Keep them safe." Cilian did not look back. "They belonged to the first madam, and they're also among the things she treasures most. Think carefully about what it means that she wore them to see you. When the real opportunity comes, seize it!"