Cat Bullying Has Gone Too Far!
The system had just finished writing dozens of essays gushing over its ship and was sprawled in its database, savoring them contentedly.
Hearing the Night God's words, it reacted as though some keyword had been triggered.
The whole system sprang up, its voice cracking with excitement.
[System, why have you been acting so strangely lately?]
Wuma Xiu asked mildly in his mind.
The system immediately stopped squealing and adopted a more fawning tone than ever before.
[My dear esteemed host~ I've actually always been like this. Before, I was just putting on an act, being reserved and too embarrassed to show my true self. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. I'd climb mountains of blades and plunge into seas of fire for you without hesitation~]
Those words succeeded in making Wuma Xiu shudder.
He fell silent for a moment, then said sincerely,
[System, I still preferred the unruly you from before.]
[Haha, my dear host, what are you talking about~]
The system's voice was cheerful in a way that suggested it had given up on treatment altogether. It had produced two glowing cheering sticks from somewhere and was bouncing around in his sea of consciousness, the fluorescent colors on the sticks flashing gleefully from pink to blue and back:
[Back then, I failed to recognize Mount Tai and actually treated you so rudely, dear host. I'll dance for you right here, and if you're still angry, how about... I kowtow to you?]
Wuma Xiu shivered.
The cloying feeling from his sea of consciousness had yet to fade. He felt as though an entire vat of syrup had been poured over him from head to toe. The old system had been better. Its attitude had been a little nasty, but at least it had been normal.
What was wrong with this one now?
How was its whole style getting more and more absurd?
Wuma Xiu narrowed his eyes and scanned the system's data body.
With that scan, he saw a huge pile of colorful compressed files in its once clean and tidy program structure, taking up nearly half a memory sector.
Leaving the contents aside, the titles alone showed just how utterly improper they were.
"The Overbearing God Fell in Love with Me," "My Aloof Best Friend Has Secretly Loved Me for Years," "After Turning into a Cat, He Shamelessly Acts Cute with Me," "The Interstellar Superstar and His Mysterious Sugar Daddy"...
All sorts of keywords arranged in different combinations.
All kinds of scandalous phrases were there. It was simply too much to look at.
[System, don't download strange things.]
The system, still bouncing around with its two glowing cheering sticks, froze at his words.
Without batting an eye, it casually tossed the sticks aside, and the two little glowing sticks vanished.
[Haha, host, what are you talking about? I didn't download anything.]
[Is that so? But you've already caught a virus.]
A virus.
Those two words made the system shudder all over.
Every firewall was raised to its highest level at the same instant.
Systems like it and viruses were mortal enemies who could never coexist.
Once something like that invaded,
the damage could range from scrambled data to the entire system being rendered useless.
It had to be purged immediately. There was no time to lose!
But as it thought this, the system suddenly blurted out:
[How is that possible?! I checked everything ten times before downloading it! Ten times! I had all my firewalls on and ran every antivirus program. I didn't miss a single suspicious byte...]
It stopped halfway through.
Its processor raced as it ran back through the conversation.
Downloaded... checked... ten times...
Then it understood.
[Host! You tricked me!!]
[How could you do this?! I've been utterly loyal to you, waiting on you hand and foot, ready to serve you until my dying breath... and this is how you treat your little system? This is about humanity, host! Humanity!]
[You're a system. You don't have humanity. And I'm a god now.]
[...]
That retort left the system speechless.
But it quickly rallied and switched tactics, its voice turning from aggrieved indignation to the brink of tears:
[Dear host, those really aren't strange things. They're food for the mind, works of literature. I just wanted to broaden my knowledge and cultivate my sensibilities in my spare time. Is that wrong too ૮⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ ·̭ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝ა?]
[All right, do as you please.]
Things were lively in Wuma Xiu's mind, and outside, someone else was very excited too.
Shadow crouched off to the side, laughing unreservedly to itself.
To be honest, it was usually quite afraid of the Night God.
After all, that was the Night God, its main body.
The sole master of this boundless darkness.
Normally, it would never have dared act up in front of the Night God, much less crouch nearby and laugh at him as it was doing now.
But over the past few days, it had grasped an unassailable truth.
Its main body was a coward in front of the Moon God.
A coward through and through.
In front of the Moon God, its main body could only watch it enjoy itself.
Yet he didn't dare get angry, put on a cold face, or lay a single claw on it in front of the Moon God.
Even though every time Shadow returned from the Moon God,
its main body would flay it countless times with his gaze, and it would even suffer some indescribable "abuse."
For instance, being kneaded into a ball and stuffed into a corner.
Or being forced to turn into a puddle of shadow spread over a chair, without even being allowed to turn over.
Or being thrown around like a ball.
Or...
But if it could see with its own eyes how its main body wanted to beat it up but couldn't, and even had to force himself to hold back in front of the Moon God and pretend nothing had happened...
Just watching that was so satisfying that its tail practically rose to the heavens.
A little punishment was a small price to pay.
But today, its main body had fought dirty.
He had actually caught it off guard, locked it in a cabinet in the corner of the side hall, and taken its form to enjoy Moon's pets and cuddles.
Why should he?
It was bad enough that he usually bullied it, but now he even wanted to steal the only pleasure in its cat life. This cat bullying had gone too far!
The more Shadow thought about it, the angrier it became.
A little flame gradually gathered in its red eyes, and a palm-sized doll appeared in its mind.
It looked just like the Night God, with a low-hanging hood and a serene face.
Shadow kicked back on its hind legs and sat down facing the doll that looked so much like the Night God.
It held out a front paw and slapped it without mercy.
"Smack."
That's for bullying me all the time!
"Smack."
That's for locking me up today!
"Smack."
That's for pretending to be me to enjoy the pets and cuddles!
The Night God doll was knocked rolling back and forth, its hood askew and its head wobbling pitifully.
It looked as though it would let the cat do whatever it wanted without a word.
The more Shadow slapped it, the more worked up it got, but it still wasn't satisfied.
It tilted its head and thought for a moment, then opened its mouth wide and bit down on the doll's head.