Regret

Hearing Shen Yu dissect him almost completely in just a few words, Ji Jingxing let his hands fall limply to his sides and slumped in his chair, his eyes turning red in an instant.

"I just wanted them to pay more attention to me! What did I do wrong?!"

Tears streamed from the corners of Ji Jingxing's eyes in great drops, but he had no time to wipe them away, nor did he want to bother.

"He always had to work overtime, every single time. He wouldn't even come back to see me on my birthday! Fine, I understood."

"But what about him? Bai Xiaofan had nothing to do. I spent every day making him happy and playing with him, so how could he pay attention to someone else? Hadn't I caught enough cats for him?"

Ji Jingxing added resentfully, "He actually hit me for that person! Who did Jiang Lian think he was? He might as well die."

He bowed his head as if giving up on himself. "Sentence me however you like. Nobody cares about me anyway. Maybe if I die, my dad won't have to support a useless son like me, and that'll take some of the burden off him."

"No, that won't do."

Shen Yu refused.

"How could you make it up to the person you killed if you just died like that? Do you know? Jiang Lian has a seven-year-old sister. Their parents neglected her when she was so young, and you killed the only brother who treated her well. What is she supposed to do? Jiang Lian's grades were among the best in his year. He should have had a brighter future, but you destroyed all of that."

Shen Yu's tone was calm, giving no indication of how he felt at that moment.

The interrogation room's window opened.

A face Ji Jingxing knew all too well appeared before him.

It was his father.

His father's eyes were red as he stared at Ji Jingxing, a mix of emotions in them: regret, heartache, and sorrow, but not a trace of resentment.

"...It's all my fault. I didn't notice something was wrong with you in time, and I spent too little time with you. That's what led you astray." His father's voice was a little hoarse. Only now did he truly see his child clearly.

"I always thought you hated seeing me. Every time I came home, you always made a mess of yourself. So you didn't hate me after all... You were trying to get my attention."

Ji Jingxing's father even sounded a little happy as he said it.

Ji Jingxing listened in a daze.

What did he mean, hated him? What did he mean, it was his fault? What did he mean, he hadn't spent time with him?

A vast, utterly absurd fear enveloped him.

"Come to think of it, it's been a long time. You and I haven't sat face-to-face and talked calmly like this in a long time..."

"Time's up."

Xu Shenzheng deliberately put on a fierce expression and gave Ji Jingxing's father a shove.

It revealed the handcuffs on his wrists.

Ji Jingxing's father didn't mind. He took one last, long look at Ji Jingxing, as though he wanted to engrave his face in his mind. His lips moved. "...Jingxing, I love you. I really do."

Ji Jingxing's father was led away.

He loves me?

He... loves me?

Ji Jingxing's mind was in turmoil, but he still caught the crucial detail—the handcuffs.

He looked up, almost panicked, never having been so desperate for an answer. "Why is my dad wearing handcuffs?"

Shen Yu instructed Lu Yanjin to unlock Ji Jingxing's handcuffs. "I thought you'd understand. Didn't you read the criminal law all the way through? Guardians are responsible for crimes committed by minors. Didn't you know?"

Of course Ji Jingxing had read it, but a guardian couldn't go to prison in his place!

Shen Yu helpfully added, "Oh, Uncle Ji admitted that he instigated the whole thing. You lacked maturity, so it counts as manslaughter. He bears the main responsibility. You, at most, are an accomplice. Go spend some time in juvenile detention."

"Who needs his fake kindness?!" Ji Jingxing snapped the handcuffs back onto his own wrists like a madman. "I'm the one who killed him. Arrest me and let him go."

"Hey, hey, this is the Police Bureau, not a nightclub. We don't let just anyone in." Shen Yu waved a hand, and someone came and hauled Ji Jingxing away.

Ji Jingxing's voice rang out from outside, breaking down. "Shen Yu! I was wrong, Shen Yu. Bring him back. I'll take responsibility for what I did. I can't lose him, Shen Yu!"

Young children were always ignorant, wanting to grasp those elusive feelings, chasing after them until they lost their way, only then realizing that what they had been chasing had long since settled quietly on their shoulder. All they had to do was look back to see it, but they never did, not even once.

Shen Yu's icy voice rang out. "Too late. It was too late from the moment you decided to kill Jiang Lian. This is the ending you were destined for."

From that moment on,

Ji Jingxing would wake from dreams on countless nights, wanting to slap himself, regretting his decision back then, regretting killing Jiang Lian.

Shen Yu wanted him to spend his life in remorse, torn by anguish and pain.

Ji Jingxing's father removed his handcuffs and returned from outside with Xu Shenzheng. Luo Ningsang came in with a dark expression to examine Shen Yu's palm.

Seeing Ji Jingxing's father still looking in the direction his son had left, Shen Yu asked, "Having second thoughts?"

Ji Jingxing's father shook his head. "I'll support that girl until she graduates from university."

Shen Yu said, "A bit late for that."

"Then I'll tell her the truth and let her decide for herself. Whatever she chooses, I'll support her." His shoulders were still straight, as though nothing could bring him down, but a trace of desolation showed in his eyes.

"Even if she wants your son's life?" Shen Yu pursed his lips.

"Yes."

Ji Jingxing's father answered softly.

"All right." Shen Yu calculated that, at seven, she had another fourteen years until she graduated from university. That was long enough to torment Ji Jingxing, so it would do.

"You're not allowed to visit him for ten years. Other than that, do as you please," Shen Yu added, watching the man walk away.

Ji Jingxing's father turned back and looked at the young man everyone cherished. A smile appeared on his face. He knew that Shen Yu had gone soft after all, though not toward Ji Jingxing, but toward him, a father who hardly deserved to be called one.

"Thank you."

With Ji Jingxing's case settled for the time being, Shen Yu was sent back to the hospital. He also found time to visit Jiang Xi. She had originally been placed with relatives, but Ji Jingxing's father had gone to see her and found the little girl crouching timidly in a corner. He took her away and found a couple in their forties who ran a shop, and they adopted Jiang Xi.

The little girl was always quiet and rarely spoke. Even dressed in pretty clothes, all she liked to do was sit by the door and gaze up at the stars. At times like these, the couple would crouch nearby and whisper to each other.

"Why is our daughter so cute? I want to hug her. When will I get to hug her?"

"Her brother just died. She's grieving, so settle down."

"All right, I'll go make dinner. Pay attention to what our daughter likes to eat, and I'll make more of it next time."

"I know, I know. Go on, hurry up."

Jiang Xi held a clean teddy bear in her arms. An older boy with blue eyes had given it to her, and of course she recognized it.

It was the one displayed in the center of the window of a shop she always passed.

It was the last birthday present her brother had given her.

A tear slid down her cheek and landed on the teddy bear's paw. She buried her face in its chest, just as she had buried it in her brother's chest countless times before.

And her brother would rub her head and ask her with a smile, "What's wrong?"

Jiang Xi couldn't stop crying.

Then a warm hand, a different size from her brother's, gently touched the back of her head.

Jiang Xi looked up.

It was the "mother" who had adopted her.

She said nothing, just sat there with Jiang Xi, quietly waiting for her to finish crying.

"Shall we go home and eat?"

"Okay."

Her voice was thick with tears.

But she had a home that loved her as her brother had.

Shen Yu stood in the shadows not far away. Luo Ningsang ruffled his hair. "Can you rest easy now?"

"I'll say he did a good job. Next time, I'll let him see Ji Jingxing for five more minutes."

"Hahaha, shall we go home and eat too, then?"

Luo Ningsang thought it was so funny, the way Shen Yu put on such a serious act as an adult.

"Let's go!"

Shen Yu nodded.