Pirates: How Many Divisions Do the Five Elders Have? Captain Nezumi
"You stinking old man, I've replaced the firewood in the fireplace, scrubbed all the floors clean, and finished making breakfast!"
In the office, Vivi reported on her morning's work through gritted teeth.
She was supposed to be an intern in a violent organization, yet somehow, Vivi felt more like a maid serving the hateful old man in front of her.
If her chances of becoming a full member weren't at stake, and if that big guy Garen weren't completely impossible to turn against him, and Sister Ashe weren't unmoved as well, Vivi would have loved to strangle the man in front of her with her Peacock Chain, then give his backside a vicious whipping with Karoo's whip!
"Oh, right, Vivi-chan, how long have you been interning at the tavern?"
Holding his health tea pot, Ma Qiao slowly opened the newspaper.
"A whole month!"
The mention of time left Vivi a little puzzled.
Come to think of it, she didn't seem to have seen the stinking old man exercise once in that entire month.
He was always curled up on the sofa, eating, drinking, and reading the newspaper, so why was his physique still so imposing?
His mighty pecs strained against his shirt, and occasionally, while wiping the floor, she could steal a glimpse of his sharply defined abs.
As Vivi pondered this, she saw Ma Qiao pick up another oversized "If my little sister says so, it's zero calories" burger and stuff it into his mouth with a chomp. "How has it only been a month...? I feel like you've been here for over half a year..."
Ma Qiao meant every word.
As the setting of a hot-blooded shonen manga, the pirate world's time really did pass slowly.
Before, he had spent every day slacking off, and that was fine enough; years had passed just like that.
Now that there was an underage loli around him, each day suddenly felt like a year.
Oh, well. Looking at it another way, it wasn't so bad. At least it was better than a world like Conan's.
Otherwise, he could forget about ever living to see the day he retired.
Ma Qiao swallowed the burger in one gulp, wiped his hands, and opened today's newspaper.
His perfunctory attitude and undisguised exasperation made the vein on Vivi's temple throb.
"You bastard old man... are you saying you find it hard to spend time with me?"
Vivi practically squeezed the words out between her teeth.
"Just a little bit... Huh! Has Red-Haired Shanks officially become one of the Four Emperors of the New World? How scary!~"
As though he hadn't heard the grinding of teeth in the girl's voice, Ma Qiao kept his feet propped on his desk and continued reading the newspaper.
The closer they got to the main storyline, the more "familiar faces" appeared in the papers.
Red-Haired Shanks had inexplicably lost an arm to the Lord of the Coast in the East Blue, and the paper carried his wanted poster from after he lost it.
The figure of four billion made Ma Qiao want to set sail immediately and bring him in.
Four billion!
Uh...
Apparently, that still wasn't worth as much as a Gum-Gum Fruit...
Ma Qiao shook his head and dismissed the unrealistic thought.
Once a bounty passed ten million, it was basically just a tool for pirates to make a name for themselves and a rough indicator of their strength. That was even more true for great pirates worth billions.
In any case, Ma Qiao had never heard of anyone capturing one of the Four Emperors to claim the bounty.
In short, the once-green intern aboard Roger's ship had finally grown into a major power in his own right, taking the throne as the fourth emperor of the New World after Whitebeard, Kaido, and Big Mom.
But the making of a general left ten thousand corpses in its wake. Who knew how many brutal wars, with blood flowing like rivers, lay behind this pirate emperor's success?
"Ah, the Great Pirate Era... tsk, tsk..."
A rare trace of sorrow appeared on Ma Qiao's face.
The girl, who had been drawing circles in her mind and cursing the stinking old man, was a little surprised.
In over a month, this was the first time she had caught such an expression on his face.
Brrr, brrr, brrr~~
Just then, the Den Den Mushi on the desk rang again.
Seeing the Den Den Mushi reminded Ma Qiao of his struggling Den Den Mushi breeding plan.
Temporarily shelving the plan had been a difficult decision.
Ma Qiao had spent two whole years planning to breed Den Den Mushi and get a hand in the pirate world's telecommunications business.
But plans couldn't keep up with changes. Half a year ago, the appearance of a minor figure had led Ma Qiao to decide in the end to make Plague Rat Twitch, that is, Nezumi, the first hero he paid to recruit.
Shaking his head and putting thoughts of gains and losses, right and wrong, aside, Ma Qiao answered the Den Den Mushi that kept ringing on his desk.
"Ahem, ahem, ahem, ma, ma, ma~~"
Mr. 8's signature vocal warm-up came through the Den Den Mushi. "Moshi moshi, is that Teacher Ma? How is that little girl Vivi doing?"
The Den Den Mushi took on Mr. 8's expression, his concern plain to see.
Ma Qiao sighed, at a loss for words.
Did this guy really have any awareness of being undercover?
How many times had he called recently to ask how Vivi was doing?
Was he afraid people wouldn't guess there was some connection between them?
Ma Qiao worried about the intelligence of this old retainer, so utterly loyal to Alabasta.
Come to think of it, the guy was 2.2 meters tall, had a head of curly hair, and warmed up his voice whenever he spoke. His distinctive features were far more conspicuous than Vivi's, yet he had gone undercover without even changing his hairstyle. If people in the pirate world weren't so oblivious, he would probably have been exposed a hundred times already.
But since Ma Qiao was already part of Baroque Works, he could only accept things as they were.
He gave Vivi a sharp look, warning her not to touch his sofa, especially the copy of North Blue Girls on it, while exchanging pleasantries with Mr. 8 over the Den Den Mushi.
"Ah, yes, Vivi's doing very well. She eats a lot, sleeps soundly, and has even put on weight."
"Yes, yes, yes. Vivi performed exceptionally well during the operation to capture Karen Santini last time. Mm-hmm, her weapon can be long or short, and can restrain or bind people. It really was impressive..."
"..."
Vivi stood to one side, her expression complicated.
Igaram had such a big mouth. How could he tell the stinking old man about her secret weapon?
An unusual weapon like the Peacock Slasher basically relied on catching an opponent off guard.
If it couldn't seize the initiative through its novelty, she would most likely fall prey to the curse of "the stranger the weapon, the quicker the death."
Vivi had originally planned to find a chance to ambush and frighten the stinking old man, to show him the price of looking down on her.
Now Igaram had ruined everything.
On the other hand, though, Vivi was also gratified.
Although the stinking old man was somewhat nasty and always treated her like a maid, he at least stood up for her in front of "outsiders," and had even shared the credit for capturing the pirate leader with her.
Although Mr. 8 was actually one of her own people, making Uncle Ma Qiao's words of little use, the sentiment was still touching...
Wait?
Touching?
Vivi hurriedly patted her cheeks.
Nefertari Vivi, how can you be moved by these little favors? That's the hateful old man who enslaves you right in front of you!
When you're scrubbing floors and making breakfast, all he does is sit with his legs crossed, drinking coffee and reading dirty magazines!
If it weren't for him, you would have gotten credit for taking part in Karen Santini's capture anyway. You might even have caught that great pirate with a bounty of three million Beli yourself and become a full member on the spot...
Ma Qiao had little interest in watching Vivi's performance as her expressions shifted dramatically beside him, but after some small talk, the information Mr. 8 revealed over the Den Den Mushi made him perk up.
Speak of the devil, and he appears.
"Is the same person coming to collect them? All right, I'll prepare the finest whiskey. Don't worry!"
Ma Qiao slammed down the receiver, sprang to his feet, and shouted toward the door, "Garen, fetch the best whiskey from the cellar. An important person is coming to the island!"
Whiskey Peak, where Ma Qiao was based, sounded like a mountain, but was actually a small island made up of five peaks. The Big Bird Spin Spin Spin Tavern stood atop the tallest of them, Middle Finger.
This time, Ma Qiao left Ashe to watch the place and took Garen, Ryze, Vivi, and Karoo the duck down the mountain to attend the quarterly welcome party for the Marines collecting wanted criminals.
Ma Qiao had originally intended to try riding the duck, but Karoo was needed to carry a barrel of fine liquor into town this time, so Ma Qiao had to walk with the others.
This barrel did not contain the short-lived ghost whiskey drunk by ordinary pirates and bounty hunters, but a fine liquor from the South Blue—Big Mackerel Whiskey.
It was brewed from South Blue grain and plump mackerel using a special process, then distilled with the heads and tails cut away to produce a liquor with a distinctive aroma. It was said to have a mellow, smooth taste, as though one were sampling the South Blue's gentle breeze...
A mid-to-high-end whiskey like this was naturally beyond Ma Qiao's ability to brew.
If he had that kind of skill, he wouldn't need to recruit Gragas to make liquor.
Buying the barrel from a sea merchant had cost Ma Qiao a full fifty thousand Beli, which was very expensive indeed.
Fortunately, it counted as liquor for entertaining guests, so he could claim reimbursement from the organization.
Otherwise, Ma Qiao couldn't bear to drink such expensive liquor himself.
But using it to entertain that important person—His Excellency Captain Nezumi of the Marine G-2 Branch—as his last drink before execution would be quite nice indeed...