Report to the Director: Mutants' Spring Festival Gala

Sing Sing had just slipped back to his office and changed into his familiar striped hospital gown when his secretary Xiao Liu, hurriedly ushered him into the director's office.

When I entered, Director Wang was holding a thermos and blowing on the plump goji berries floating on the surface of the water.

"Boss, you wanted to see me?"

Sing Sing sprawled out on the sofa without any regard for his image, grabbed an orange from the coffee table, and started peeling it.

Director Wang slowly and deliberately put the lid on the cup before speaking:

"Xing, the Lunar New Year is just around the corner. This year, our bureau has brought in quite a few special talents from overseas, which the higher-ups are paying close attention to. So, the bureau is planning a New Year's Eve gala."

"Great news!" Sing Sing popped a segment of orange into his mouth. "Let's make dumplings, watch the Spring Festival Gala, and everything will be perfect!"

It's not that simple.

Director Wang tapped on the table.

"This gala must have the unique characteristics of our 749 Bureau! Everyone is required to participate, especially the new comrades. They need to showcase their new image of integrating into China society on stage! I plan to entrust you with the overall direction of this cultural performance."

"Cough cough--"

Sing Sing choked on a mouthful of orange juice, his face turning red.

"Don't be like that, boss!"

Sing Sing threw the half-peeled orange onto the coffee table, spread his hands, and scrunched up his face like a steamed bun.

"Me? The director? I'm good at butchering bones with Pig Butchering Knife, but you want me to organize a variety show? This job is completely unsuitable!"

His eyes darted around, and he dragged his good brother into it as a scapegoat:

"You're giving this job to A Le! Lingling Jiu! That kid's got nothing better to do all day, and he even carries a black card! He's perfect for this kind of public-facing job!"

Director Wang didn't even lift his eyelids, and gave a drawn-out hum.

"Give it to him? Let him create another pile of bribery messes?"

Director Wang leaned back in his swivel chair, crossed his hands on his round belly, and sighed, "Sigh, if this job were done well, it would be a huge opportunity to show off to the higher-ups."

"Originally, I was thinking that some people who were recently promoted to deputy director level could use this Spring Festival Gala to make a good impression and have the 'deputy' title removed next year—it's just a matter of holding a meeting and going through the motions..."

Wait a minute!

Sing Sing Chow, who had been lounging on the sofa, sprang up as if he had a spring in his body.

He snapped to attention, his heels clicking together, his expression as serious as could be, and raised his right hand to his temple.

"Reporting to the chief! Mission accomplished! If I don't go to hell, who will?"

For the sake of building a civilized society in our 749 Bureau, let alone being a director, I'd gladly do a striptease on stage!

Director Wang waved his hand dismissively, "Alright, alright, who wants to see you do a striptease? It's an eyesore. You have three days to submit the program."

Three days? No need for three days, start now!

Sing Sing's workaholic genes awaken.

He walked to the desk, grabbed the portable whiteboard used for lecturing, and picked up a marker.

He slammed his hands on the table, his eyes sharp, looking like a mad planning director giving a proposal to a client.

"Reporting to the Director! I have several excellent plans for this gala that will definitely make the event a hit!"

Director Wang was stunned, almost dropping the thermos in his hand. "You've already... agreed? Tell me about it."

"Option One!" Sing Sing wrote several large characters on the whiteboard in a flamboyant style.

"The Duel on the Peak of the Forbidden City - A Fateful Showdown: Special Edition!"

Sing Sing gestured vividly, "Traditional martial arts performances are too boring. Let's just Sabretooth out, dress him in black, and have him play Ye Gucheng! Then let Wolverine wear white and play Ximen Chuixue!"

"Just stand on either side of the stage, no need for wires, just start scratching each other! They both have Healing Factor anyway, even if their intestines spill out, they'll shrink back! They can beat each other up for three days and three nights!"

"Stop!"

A # appeared on Director Wang's forehead.

"Idiot! This is Chinese New Year! The leaders and comrades are all sitting below! You want to stage a bloody murder scene? To have everyone watch Mutants tearing each other apart on New Year's Day? Execute him!"

"It's alright, good riddance!"

Sing Sing casually erased it and wrote another line.

"Option Two! Since we're going for a mainstream theme, let's make it a grand infrastructure drama! 'Country Love: The Storm'!"

He gestured wildly as he described the scene. "The lights dimmed, Riptide, wearing a white vest, came on Riptide. With a wave of his hand, he created a tornado! Storm, dressed in a brightly colored floral coat, made a dazzling entrance and struck Jiliu on the head with a bolt of lightning! The two of them then performed a thrilling weather duet!"

"Then Deep Abyss and his girlfriend Petra were in charge of making mud on the stage and building a two-story house!"

"Finally, Polaris makes a grand finale appearance, sculpting a Transformer from steel bars to kowtow and wish you a Happy New Year! This is called showcasing the productivity of Mutants!"

Director Wang's eyelids twitched; the imagery was too vivid.

"This... the idea is good, but isn't it a bit too down-to-earth? And with indoor rain, all our auditorium's sound equipment will be ruined. Next."

I knew you had high standards!

Sing Sing rubbed his hands excitedly, his marker making a loud thumping sound on the whiteboard.

Option Three! A large-scale ethical drama stage play – "The Temptation to Go Home (X-Men Special Edition)"!

Sing Sing approached the bureau chief's desk, his face full of gossip:

"Director, think about it. Let's have Wolverine play Hong Shixian, dressed in Pinru's clothes, smoking a cigar on stage! Silver Fox will play Lin Pinru, and we'll invite foreign guest Mariko to play Ellie!"

"The climax is when Daken rushes onto the stage, grabs someone's leg, and yells, 'How many good sisters do you have?' The ratings and the buzz will drive our support staff crazy, believe it or not!"

That seems a bit too outrageous.

"I don't believe you!"

Director Wang finally couldn't hold back any longer and got off his swivel chair.

"Are you trying to tear this building down?! What if those two women actually start fighting on stage? Logan gets angry and breaks the stage pillar, whose injury is that?!"

Startled, Sing Sing took two steps back, dodging Director Wang's flying kick.

"Don't panic! Don't be violent, Chief! I have a final backup plan!"

Sing Sing quickly erased all the mess on the whiteboard and wrote the last few large characters:

Option Four! A large-scale magical space show – "Interstellar Spring Festival Gala"!

He was much more serious this time. "The opening scene has Magik throw out a portal to hell, pulling out Devil Dinosaur! The Moon-Boy rides on the dinosaur's neck and performs jumping through fire hoops!"

"Doesn't Li Qianhuan know how to set off fireworks? We can even save money on firecrackers!"

"As for safety, there's no need to worry. Da Vinci has sponsored a complete set of 'Plasma Leak-Proof Safety Pants,' guaranteeing that not a single drop of dimensional energy will leak out!"

"If Deadpool can make it back, I'll arrange for him to be the grand finale, to break a boulder on his chest—but instead of breaking the boulder, he'll break his own chest, just to give everyone a good laugh!"

Director Wang, holding his thermos, listened in stunned silence to this outrageous yet inexplicably feasible report.

Upon closer reflection, it seems that only the last option is barely acceptable.

While the Devil Dinosaur jumping through hoops of fire is exaggerated, at least it has an acrobatic feel and is unlikely to cause any fatalities.

"Alright..."

Director Wang pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling that he had wasted his time drinking the goji berry water, and his blood pressure was soaring to his head.

"Just refine the plan according to the last one. Go to the finance office and get Anton's approval for the venue funding. I'm warning you! Don't you dare cause a diplomatic incident!"

"Alright! Just you wait and see!"

Sing Sing was overjoyed and turned to run outside.

He ran to the door, then leaned halfway in, winking at Director Wang: "Um, Director, about the matter of becoming a division chief..."

"Get out of here! If the show is a disaster, you'll be sent to guard the pond!"

Director Wang grabbed an empty tea box from the table and pretended to smash it.

Sing Sing shrank back, the door slammed shut, and the sound of him humming an off-key tune echoed down the corridor.

Director Wang slumped back into his swivel chair, looking at the empty office, and suddenly felt a strong sense of foreboding.

Putting these guys and this lunatic together for a party...

Was this decision right or wrong?

Will the 749 Bureau building still be standing intact on New Year's Eve this year?