Kung Fu Plus Football: Could It Work?

Sing Sing strolled back to his office, slumped into a chair, and propped his legs up on the desk.

"Interstellar Spring Festival Gala..."

Zhou Chu lit a cigarette and stroked his chin. He had been boasting so much, but when it came to actually implementing it, it was a completely different story!

Devil Dinosaur jumping through fire hoops?

What if the Da Vinci system leaks electricity...?

Can't the whole dragon be roasted on the spot?

If this goes wrong, my Deputy Division-Level position will be gone before I even have a chance to enjoy it!

As he was pondering this, a crumpled piece of waste paper on the corner of the table caught his attention.

He stood up, stretched his leg, and bounced the crumpled paper twice on the instep. Then, Old Zhou fired a shot, and with a "splat," the paper went into the wastebasket.

"Why?"

Sing Sing was stunned for a moment, as if lightning had struck his mind.

Kung Fu plus singing and dancing?

There's some potential.

Mutants powers plus soccer?

This is a huge problem!

Team One: Mutants; Team One: 749 Bureau Employees.

Isn't this just a super Lunar New Year Cup?

Tickets, broadcasting rights, and merchandise!

It would be an absolute injustice not to make this money!

Let's get started.

Sing Sing sprang into action, and soon A Le, sporting dark circles under his eyes, peeked in. "Ah Qi, what's gotten into you again?"

"Perfect timing! Close the door, unleash the dogs!"

Sing Sing Chow pulled him inside.

"Who's the dog?" A Le struggled for a moment, then asked irritably, "You?"

"Don't worry about the details. Come and take a look. This is a Spring Festival revenue-generating plan I tailored for our 749 Bureau: the first Spark New Year Cup Football Charity Exchange Match!"

Sing Sing pointed to the densely packed names on the whiteboard, his eyebrows dancing with excitement.

A Le leaned over to take a look and burst out laughing.

"Are you crazy? The 749 Spark Mutants United? Coach Wolverine? What kind of hellish formation is this? 4-4-2?"

Sing Sing, shaking his leg, exhaled a smoke ring, looking smug:

"What? You look down on the 4-4-2 formation? It's the most classic, solid, and team-oriented formation!"

"Back in the day, many established powerhouse teams won Champion with this lineup. Our new guys don't even know each other yet! It's a good opportunity for them to get to know each other."

"Perfect timing, let's call Old Goldhead over and discuss this together."

Meanwhile, in a corner of the playground, a battle of offense and defense even more breathtaking than the World Cup final was unfolding.

Logan Howlett, a man who lived to be over a hundred years old, survived countless bullets, and crawled out of the flames of World War II, was caught between two invisible Blades, sweating profusely.

Two meters to the left, stood the Silver Fox.

She was wearing a fitted black leather jacket today, her arms crossed, and her long, bright blue hair was gently swaying in the wind.

Those eyes just stared at him without saying a word, but the aura that said, "If you utter even half a wrong word today, I'll bleed you dry," was too much for Wolverine to handle.

Two meters to the right, Mariko, her voice gentle. "Logan, I dreamt of Kyoto last night. That mountain path we walked on should be covered in cherry blossoms by now, shouldn't it?"

"If you have a day off, how about we take Daken back for a visit?"

Logan's apple bobbed twice. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that?

Upon hearing Mariko's words, the Silver Fox on the left was ready to draw its sword immediately.

If she didn't answer, Mariko's eyes reddened, and her rebellious son, who always loved to watch the drama unfold, was about to cause trouble.

Sure enough, Daken was squatting on the horizontal bar a few meters away, swinging back and forth, his eyes scanning back and forth between the three of them, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

"Father!"

Daken, always eager for drama, yelled, "Back in Kyoto, besides chopping people up, did you also take Mariko to the geisha district?"

"When I'm compiling this family genealogy, the details have to be meticulous; I can't miss any younger siblings I've never met!"

"Stop talking nonsense!"

Logan pointed at Daken and yelled, "Your dad's a decent man! Back in Kyoto, all I did was kill people. I don't even know what the red-light district is! If you keep writing nonsense, I'll beat you to death!"

Silver Fox sneered and finally spoke, "Murder? Perhaps you'll end up killing someone in their bed instead. Well, a docile doorkeeper like you're bound to wag its tail if the master gives you a little something."

Mariko smiled broadly, "Miss Silver Fox, you misunderstand. Feelings are built through shared hardships. Logan risked his life for me; not everyone is fortunate enough to receive such love, right, Logan?"

Logan now wished he could just flick the steel claws off the back of his hand and stab himself in the throat.

This Healing Factor can heal physical wounds, but it can't heal a battlefield!

Just as Old Goldhead was on the verge of a mental breakdown, a series of static crackles came from the loudspeakers around the playground.

"Buzz... Calling Comrade Logan! Urgent call for Comrade Logan!"

Sing Sing's irritating voice echoed throughout the venue.

"Extremely urgent! Please proceed to Director Zhou's office immediately. There is a crucial tactical deployment of world-destroying significance! Repeat, a world-destroying crisis! One second late, and the Earth will explode!"

The sound, reaching Logan's ears, was even more beautiful than the horns of Angel descending to earth.

"The organization needs me!"

Logan sprang to his feet, his face contorted with a solemn and resolute expression, as if he were facing certain death.

He didn't give the two women any time to react; he left a blur and darted away in a flash.

His legs swung like wheels of fire, kicking up two patches of grass.

"Bang!"

A few minutes later, the door to Old Zhou's office was kicked open.

Logan burst in, clenched his fists, and with a "whoosh," six gleaming Adamantium claws shot out.

"What's going on? Did that Lao Wang Stryker attack? Or did that old Miss Sinister come knocking on our door? Where are they? I've been itching for a fight these past few days, might as well take it out on them!"

Sing Sing was startled by his posture and quickly ran over, extending two fingers to press Old Jin's claws down.

"Put it away! It concerns our 749 Bureau's activity budget for next year, as well as the overall situation of spiritual civilization construction for both new and veteran comrades!"

Logan frowned. "Spiritual civilization construction? What's that? Can we cut it?"

A Le walked over and pointed to the whiteboard. "Brother Jin, Ah Qi has assigned you a glorious but arduous task."

"See this lineup? You're the head coach of the Mutants United for the inaugural Spark New Year Cup Charity Football Tournament."

Logan remained silent for a full ten seconds.

"Football?"

Logan gritted his teeth, suppressing the urge to split Sing Sing in two.

"You yelled at me through an air raid horn saying the Earth was going to explode, just so I'd teach a bunch of Mutants who don't even know the rules how to play soccer? I don't even know what offside is! You want me to be the coach?"

"Hey, that's not right."

Sing Sing pulled over a chair, forced Logan to sit down, and patted him on the shoulder earnestly.

"Look at your physique, your experience, and that 'fight me if you dare' aura written all over your face. If you don't become the coach, who will? I've even set up your formation: a classic 4-4-2, flawless!"

Logan glanced at the troop deployment on the whiteboard.

"You call this impeccable? Look at this defense! Silver Fox, Ichirai Hisako, Colossus, and that traitorous Daken! You've put my whole family in defense? Am I supposed to be on the sidelines directing my wife and kids? This family drama isn't over yet!"

"That's what you call the 'battlefield defense line,' Old Jin!"

Sing Sing exclaimed excitedly, "Just imagine, with Silver Fox and your kid standing in the backcourt, their defensive intensity will definitely be off the charts!"

What about the midfield?

Logan pointed to the ranking in the middle.

"Li Qianhuan, Riptide, Polaris, and Storm. What kind of football can they possibly play together? They might as well just perform a rainmaking ritual!"

A Le chimed in from the sidelines, "The midfield is the core engine, Kim. Storm and Riptide are responsible for controlling the tempo. Once a tornado is up, the opposing team can't even see where the ball is."

"Polaris is even more amazing. She just stands there, activates magnetic control, and all the cleats in her shoes obey her commands. Anyone who dares to steal the ball will be made to do the splits on the spot!"

Logan was utterly astonished by the thought processes of these two geniuses.

"And what about you guys?" Logan stared warily at Sing Sing.

Sing Sing flamboyantly ran his fingers through his hair, walked to another small blackboard, and banged on it forcefully.

"749 Kung Fu Football Team! Formation: 4-2-3-1, Coach: Director Wang! And I, the Director, will personally start as the center forward! The defense is led by Yan Shuangying and Cao Dahua, the Tiger of the Serious Crimes Unit."

"Hey Old Jin, when the season starts, you better tell your Daken to keep an eye on me!"

"As soon as I receive the ball, with a slight shift in my footing and a feint, I unleash a Marseille Turn followed by Great Strength Vajra Leg. That's a cannon shot! Powerful and heavy!"

"Don't end up kicking that kid back to Japan; he'll have nowhere to cry then."

These words ignited Logan's competitive spirit.

Once Northeast China old man's fiery temper flares up, no one can stop him.

"You're talking nonsense!"

Logan his fist on the table. "You bunch of mortals think you can compete with us Mutants? I used to play ice hockey shirtless back in the day! I'll be the coach!"

"Tomorrow morning, I'm taking all these bastards to the training ground for a real drill! If I don't kick your kung fu acrobatics troupe to the ground, I'm not Wolverine!"

Watching Logan storm out, slamming the door behind him, A Le swallowed hard and whispered to Sing Sing, "Ah Qi, are you really planning to fight them?"

"If we actually go on the field, won't we get torn to pieces by those monsters?"

Sing Sing blew on the tip of his marker and smiled like a cunning old fox who had just stolen a chicken.

"What's the panic? Wenxi is still here!"

"I'll go see him later and ask him to make a batch of special athletic shoes for us that are lightning-proof, windproof, and resistant to extreme weather."

"Besides, the sports field is like a battlefield; all's fair in war. We'll see who wins and who loses!"