Bald, Gold-Chain-Wearing Zhou Dafu: Utah, Here I Come!

Just as dawn broke, Sing Sing's door was pounded on repeatedly.

A Le was yelling at the top of his lungs outside the door, "Open the door! Open the door! The water meter is being checked!"

Sing Sing, sporting a messy, shoved open the door. "Are you wailing so early in the morning? I was dreaming about discussing a multi-billion dollar project with the Duke of Duke of Zhou's daughter!"

A Le, carrying a makeup case, slipped into the room like an eel and, without a word, pressed Sing Sing into a chair. "What project are you talking about? Sit still and don't move. Today, your brother is going to give you a completely new face."

"What's in this box so early in the morning? Are you getting my eyebrows done?"

Sing Sing covered his face in horror.

"Tattoo you, you big jerk!"

Upon opening the box, A Le magically produced a bald head hood and waved it in front of him.

"The facial recognition system of the 'Bra Lady' probably blacklisted you long ago. Everyone in the Silver Peak Consortium has a high-definition, uncensored photo of you. If you enter the country with that handsome face, you'll be riddled with bullets within five minutes of landing."

"So?"

"So--"

A Le shoved the hood over his head, "Mr. Zhou Dafu, owner of the Vancouver Classic Car Dealership, is on duty!"

Half an hour later, Sing Sing looked at the unfamiliar, greasy middle-aged man in the mirror and fell into a minute-long silence.

His bald head was so shiny it could be used as a solar reflector.

The floral shirt was stretched taut over the body, and the buttons looked like they could pop off and cause serious injury.

Her silicone beer belly was round and prominent, and she wore a thick gold chain around her neck, with three nouveau riche-style gold rings on each of her ten fingers.

Sing Sing twisted and turned in front of the mirror, tugging at the thick gold chain around his neck. "A Le, tell me honestly, does this thing float on water? I can't feel its weight at all!"

"I got these from Chunzhengyi Yiwu Small Commodities Wholesale Market, 9.9 yuan with free shipping, and you can even use coupons to top up the price!"

A Le spoke, he stuffed two wads of cotton into his mouth to pad his cheeks.

"Hold on and don't spit it out! From now on, you're Chow Zhou Dafu with Utah United States to buy used pickup trucks, understand?"

Why does it have to be a pickup truck?

Sing Sing had cotton in his mouth and his speech was unclear.

"Nonsense, there are a lot of rednecks in United States, and pickup trucks are highly profitable, my bro! Come on, repeat after me: 'Brother, your car is in good condition, but the paint job is a bit lacking. I'll give you a two thousand dollar discount and take it for cash today.'"

Sing Sing practiced twice in front of the mirror with cotton in his mouth, his eyes gradually becoming lewd.

A Le circled him twice, reached out and pressed the silicone belly, and nodded with satisfaction after being bounced back. "Perfect! With your current size, if you stood in a used car market, even the stray dogs on the street wouldn't believe you didn't take kickbacks."

Sing Sing touched his shiny bald head, "Won't this make me too hated? I still want to wear my handsome suit..."

"That's the kind of stealth effect that everyone hates!"

A Le placed a pair of sunglasses on Sing Sing's nose. "In America, the greasier you are, the less likely anyone will give you a second glance. That's called safety. Want to become handsome again? At least find a safe place to stay here first."

After putting on this eye-catching outfit, the completely different "Zhou Dafu" strolled into the Medical Zone carrying a fruit basket.

The Gambit was leaning against the headboard, leisurely peeling an apple, looking much better.

When I looked up and saw the huge Buddha statue, my hand trembled, and I almost cut off my thumbnail.

If Sing Sing hadn't spoken up first, calling him "brother," the Gambit's explosive deck of cards would have already been smeared in his face.

"My God!"

The Gambit, gripping his knife, sized him up. "In all my years in this business, this is the first time I've seen someone dress so tastelessly and so brazenly. Are you stuffing three bowling balls in your stomach?"

Stop being so cheeky!

Sing Sing placed the fruit basket on the bedside table. "Time is tight and the mission is heavy, I'm going to America right away. Do you have any specific address or phone number for that Jacqueline you said you wanted to rescue, or that Little Jacob Gavin?"

Gambit thought for a moment and said, "Utah, Wendover."

That's it?

"That's it."

Sing Sing sighed and facepalmed, "Dude, Utah such a vast state, and you won't even give me a house number? You want me to find a needle in a haystack?!"

To save time and avoid the hassle of connecting flights, Sing Sing Chow simply switched the Magik to the Medical Zone.

The Magik stared in amazement at Zhou Dafu's gold chain and silicone belly, even laughing for three minutes straight.

"Where did this tangible midlife crisis come from? Just looking at you gives me a heart attack."

"Stop talking nonsense, grandma! Open the door! Take me to Wendover!"

Unable to bear the jeers of the Magik, Sing Sing urged her to open the door.

The Soulsword materialized in the Magik's hand, and with a casual slash in the air, a dimensional rift tore open and expanded.

The Gambit peeked inside and shook his head repeatedly.

The environment inside was terrible.

Have fun on Limbo!

The Magik chuckled, then shoved Sing Sing inside before following him into the Hell Dimension.

Old Zhou regretted entering the Limbo as soon as he arrived. He was surrounded by lava and broken bones, and the smell of sulfur assaulted his senses.

"Roar!"

Hearing the strange noise, Old Zhou turned around and, lo and behold!

Several bizarrely shaped demons lay sprawled on the surrounding crimson rock walls.

"Holy crap! What kind of underworld map is this?!"

Sing Sing, carrying his large silicone belly, ran frantically, while several low-level demons, drawn by the scent, howled and pounced on him from behind.

The Magik stood at a distance, watching this scene with a grin.

These demons dared not cause trouble for the Magik, but Sing Sing, this "ordinary person," was nothing special, so why not take advantage of him!

The Magik also had a wicked sense of humor, deliberately making the exit on the other side.

"Stop chasing me! This flesh is fake! Silicone will cause intestinal obstruction if you eat it!!"

After mentally cursing the ancestor of the Magik for eighteen generations, he scrambled out of the bright exit, finally landing face-first on the road in Wendover.

Relieved, Zhou got up, brushed off the dust, and looked around.

The location provided by the Magik was accurate; there was a roadblock for local highway patrol officers not far ahead.

The sheriff stared at his fake passport for a long time, then frowned as he looked at the man's belly, which seemed about to burst out of his floral shirt, his eyes filled with suspicion. "Mr. Zhou Dafu? What brings you to Wendover?"

"Hey sir, you're picking up a pickup truck!"

Sing Sing patted his stomach and launched into a torrent of broken English: "You guys have lots of deserts here, and old pickup trucks are cheap! I can haul them back to Vancouver, refurbish them, and resell them for a 30% profit! Bro, do you have connections with those wrecked cars impounded by your police station? Give me a heads-up, and I'll give you that amount of cash kickback!"

As he spoke, he rubbed his fingers, which were covered in gold rings, together in a lewd manner.

The sheriff's face turned as black as the bottom of a pot. He handed back the passport three times faster than he drew his gun, waving his hand dismissively. "Go away! Get out of here! Don't break the rules in my jurisdiction!"

They were afraid of getting their hands dirty with the greasy, money-grubbing smell of this car dealer.

Old Zhou didn't leave immediately. He went up to the sheriff again, offered him a cigarette, and tried to get on his good side. After confirming that Greyhound bus would be passing by in half an hour, he decided to wait for the bus where he was.

During the hour-long bus ride, Sing Sing slept soundly in the last row.

"Dear passengers, we have arrived at Wendover Inland. Please take your belongings with you..."

The driver's listless announcement came over the loudspeaker.

Sing Sing groggily opened his eyes and peered out the car window.

Good heavens, it's a vast expanse of white, stretching as far as the eye can see.

As far as the eye can see, there is only a thick crust of white salt. When the sun shines, the bright light makes people's eyes water.

Forget trees, you can't even see a single green blade of grass.

The tires screeched as they rubbed against the salty ground, bringing the car to a screeching halt.

Sing Sing got out of the car, stretched, looked at the endless white wasteland, and clicked his tongue.

"This wretched place, not even a blade of grass grows here..."