A Guide to Reemployment for Mutants

After sending Da Vinci away, Sing Sing left the office quiet once more.

"Let's put Anton aside for now."

Director Wang tapped his fingers on the desk. His expression grew serious again as he assumed the authority of the 749 Bureau's top official.

"What are you planning to do with the other four you brought back this time? Riptide, Polaris, Soft Serve, and that blue-skinned drunk?"

"Let me be blunt: the 749 Bureau doesn't keep freeloaders around, and we certainly don't keep ticking time bombs."

"Director, listen to yourself! What do you mean, ticking time bombs? They're precious talents our country desperately needs for its development!"

Sing Sing put away his smile, rummaged in his inner pocket for a while, and pulled out a crumpled little notebook.

The words "Haozailai Pork Wholesale Stall Ledger" were printed in large characters on the cover, and a few stubborn grease stains marked its edges.

The corner of Director Wang's eye twitched, and he leaned back in his chair.

"Why are you showing me a pork ledger? Are you going to brief me on international pork belly trends?"

Sing Sing opened the notebook and cleared his throat. "Director, this is the 'Grand Blueprint for the Reemployment of Special Overseas Talent' that I carefully worked out on the plane. Let's start with Riptide, Janos Quested."

He pointed to a crude sketch of a whirlwind in the notebook.

"The Americans treated him as a terrorist from the Brotherhood of Mutants, a top enforcer for Magneto. They had him playing cat and mouse with the police in the streets every day. How many traffic lights and fire hydrants did he smash? What a colossal waste of talent!"

"But in my eyes, he was born to be a special-grade special-duty firefighter in the national comprehensive emergency rescue force!"

Director Wang frowned, looking skeptical. "You want him to put out fires with a hose? Never mind that it's a waste of his talent—can someone as unruly and hot-tempered as him follow our organization's command?"

"Come on, Director, think bigger!"

Sing Sing got to his feet and began gesturing wildly.

"Do the math. How much does it cost our country to buy an imported heavy-duty foam fire engine? Millions, even tens of millions, right?"

"Every year, you also have to account for servicing, repairs, and fuel, and assign a whole squad of professional firefighters to it."

"But now? With Riptide, we can save on all of it!"

"Close your eyes and picture this: a forest fire in the Greater Khingan Mountains. Helicopters can't get in, fire engines can't get up the mountain, and the flames stretch for dozens of li!"

"At a time like that, Riptide, wearing a specially made Chinese fireproof uniform, stands majestically at the edge of the fire and waves both hands like this—"

Sing Sing made a tai chi pushing motion.

"He creates a vacuum firebreak dozens of meters wide, just like that! Without oxygen, the fire suffocates on its own! Wouldn't that be more than ten times as efficient as traditional firefighting?"

Director Wang, who had been leaning back in his chair, sat up straight without realizing it.

"And that's not all!"

Sing Sing spoke faster.

"A chemical plant explodes, and toxic, hazardous gases leak out. Even chemical protective suits are no use."

"With one high-speed cyclone, he can sweep the gas straight into the stratosphere and disperse it, keeping all the frontline rescue workers safe!"

"When floods and typhoons hit the south in summer, he can create a countercurrent to block the flood peak, then use a tornado to gently lift people stranded on rooftops and transfer them safely to a secure area!"

"During bomb disposal, he can use centrifugal force to safely separate the bomb's fuse from its explosives!"

Sing Sing planted both hands on the desk and looked Director Wang straight in the eye. "Director, he's a one-man emergency rescue ace who can operate in any weather, cover every angle, and produce zero pollution! At that cost-effectiveness, capitalists would weep and Wall Street would jump out of windows!"

"More importantly, this job can turn him from a Ravager on the run into a hero who protects the people. That's called a character arc, understand?"

Director Wang slapped the desk. "Good! What a one-man rescue system! I'll contact the Ministry of Emergency Management immediately and give him an official post as captain of a special-duty firefighting brigade! Give him the best single dorm room! Put five thousand on his meal card every month!"

"Wise decision, Director!"

Sing Sing gave him a thumbs-up, then turned a page covered in lard stains.

"Next is Polaris, Lorna Dane."

At the name, Director Wang's face darkened, and his tone grew stern. "Ling Ling Qi, this female comrade's ability is extremely dangerous. Magnetic field control—if she loses control, the destructive power would be staggering!"

"And Lao Li's report made it very clear: she suffers from severe bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder!"

"Dangerous? That's because those incompetent fools in America who experiment on people don't know how to use talent!"

Sing Sing narrowed his eyes. "They locked a young woman in a metal-free basement, drew her blood every day, used her as a lab rat, and tortured her like she was disposable. How could she not be dangerous?"

"If you locked a tiger in an iron cage and plucked its fur every day, would it not bite people when you let it out?"

"But things will be different here. I've already thought of a position for her! Chief expert in Long March series heavy-lift rocket recovery and precision landing technology at the China Aerospace Science and Technology Group!"

"The space agency? Rocket recovery?"

"Exactly!" Sing Sing raised an eyebrow. "Director, what's the biggest technological bottleneck in our country's current development of the Long March 9 heavy-lift rocket?"

"Isn't it rocket recovery? If it's even slightly off course and crashes into the ground, it's just a pile of scrap metal. Billions of yuan would go up with a bang!"

Sing Sing pointed at the sky outside the window. "Now, with Comrade Lorna, that problem is solved! Once a rocket has launched and starts falling back down, have her stand at the landing site at the Jiuquan Satellite Launch Center."

"All she has to do is gently raise a hand, and that rocket can land as steadily as a feather at the designated spot!"

Director Wang knew all too well what that meant.

It could save hundreds of billions of yuan in research, development, and construction costs every year.

"And I've got her personality figured out."

Sing Sing put away his playful grin and sighed, his voice softening. "She grew up in foster homes, was treated like a monster, and has almost no sense of security. She doesn't need the empty title of superhero, and she doesn't want to fight and kill. All she needs is a place that accepts and recognizes her."

Sing Sing looked Director Wang straight in the eye. "I've talked it over with her. Once she goes to Jiuquan, she'll help design rocket systems. When she's not working, she can sit alone beneath the towering launch gantry and quietly watch the stars."

"She could even go sell ice cream at an amusement park with Amy. Director, she'll be Jiuquan's most mysterious, most elite expert. Here, she'll be the bedrock of the space program. This job can help her find true dignity and pull her out of the abyss!"

Director Wang remained silent for a long time.

He looked at the meat-selling agent before him, who was usually full of nonsense, and realized the young man was redeeming these Mutants.

"Ling Ling Qi..." Director Wang was just about to offer a few heartfelt words of praise.

"So, Director!"

Sing Sing rubbed his hands together, the mercenary grin returning to his face.

"Since I've made such an indelible contribution to the nation's space and firefighting programs, perhaps you could..."

"Make a special exception and hurry up and approve the 'transnational emotional trauma compensation' for this business trip and the reimbursement form for that Armani suit?"

The emotion Director Wang had just been building up vanished without a trace.

"Get out!!"

A deafening roar rang through the office. "If you dare mention reimbursement to me again, watch out, or I'll leap through the air and take your head off with my deadly scissor kick!!"