It's Said the Author Drank Laundry Detergent Instead of Milk

My name is Diarmuid Ua Duibhne. Perhaps you have heard my name before, or perhaps you know the history behind it, but all of that is in the past now. I have answered the call of the Holy Grail and am participating in this grand war, held in an island nation far from my homeland, under the Class of Lancer.

For someone who failed to serve faithfully in life, the chance to once again offer my martial skills to a lord is nothing short of a miracle. So, when my lord asked me what my wish was for the Holy Grail, I replied that I had none.

However, this seemed to anger my lord.

Though I do not know where I went wrong, I am willing to make amends with my achievements in battle. My lord, I will bring you victory—

That is what I said.

It would be wonderful if everything went as I thought, but there is one point I must mention:

Lately, my Master has been acting strange!

He wasn't exactly a normal person to begin with—no, no, I absolutely do not mean to slander my lord, I am merely stating facts—but his recent behavior has become even more peculiar. Even if Miss Sola hasn't noticed, I, who am connected to my lord's heart, can sense it.

For example, in a battle meant to eliminate Caster, my lord actually ordered me to invite Rider to join us. And Rider's Master was just severely humiliated by my lord not too long ago. Is it really okay to cooperate with them? Furthermore, if multiple parties cooperate to defeat Caster, who will receive the final reward? Even stranger, even though Caster's whereabouts were found, my lord ordered me to patrol the forest and avoid being seen, while he himself attacked Saber's group's base.

Is he planning to deal with them while everyone else is focused on Caster? Such a strategy does not align with the code of chivalry. However, my lord did not order me to kill the Master, but rather to engage in a duel between mages himself. Therefore, despite my dissatisfaction, I cannot say much.

However, my lord's order for me to patrol the forest was truly asking too much. Even though my lord could summon me with a Command Seal at any time, I couldn't leave him alone in enemy territory. So, in reality, I was just moving around the vicinity of the castle, ensuring I could reach my lord's side at the first opportunity.

My worries were indeed justified. My lord's magical prowess is not to be underestimated, but war is not a simple matter. That earth-shattering explosion startled even me. Fortunately, the connection through the Command Seal let me know that Master was still alive. As I rushed to rescue my Master, I encountered a mage who appeared to be from the enemy camp halfway there.

What should I do? I should probably let him go. Attacking someone who cannot resist goes against the code of chivalry. Besides, Servant versus Servant and Master versus Master is the proper way. I will leave him for my lord to deal with next time. Finding my Master as quickly as possible is the priority.

I moved away from him—Wait a moment, what is happening?!

A powerful magical aura suddenly appeared from above, accompanied by a sky-high killing intent. Before I could even look up to confirm the situation, I instinctively raised my twin guns to block—

"Clang!"

This feeling is a sword—Saber! That man summoned his Servant with a Command Seal!

This is troublesome. Saber is not an opponent to be dealt with lightly. I didn't want to cause any more trouble, but now I've fallen into a more complicated situation. And judging by that killing intent, it's unlikely words can resolve this. Is a fight inevitable? But my lord—

The Saber opposite me didn't give me any more time to hesitate. Her sword attacks rained down like a storm—Damn it, I need to end this quickly.

No matter which Heroic Spirit you are, the spears of the first knight of the Knights of Fianna are not easily received!

"After Caster's escape, the activity of the remaining familiars has decreased, and they have also lost their regenerative abilities. Rider cleaned up those familiars and left the forest. Kiritsugu Emiya and Kayneth's battle is undecided, and Lancer and Saber are in a standoff."

Irisviel, who was being escorted by Kirei Kotomine in the direction of the forest, was startled by the Assassin who suddenly appeared in front of them. After hearing the violent noises, she had been sent to investigate, and the news she brought was not good.

"Is it possible to assassinate Kayneth?"

"Under the eyes of Saber and Lancer? Master, are you sure you want me to go?"

"Then, can you track Caster's whereabouts?"

"That's simple enough. Given how much commotion he caused this time, even without residual magical energy, I can follow the tunnel he used to escape."

"Then, first confirm the outcome of the battle that took place here, and then track Caster, but do not act rashly. Simply find their hiding place."

"They don't know how long they'll be fighting. If we spend too much time here, Caster might escape too far to find."

"Then, tracking Caster is the top priority. I'll leave the rest of the judgment to you."

"Understood, Master."

Irisviel didn't gain much valuable information from the conversation between that pair of Master and Servant, but a glimmer of hope appeared in her eyes—Assassin has left. Now that I have fully recovered, is it possible for me to escape from the Priest, who is not in his prime condition?

The light of magecraft glowed faintly in Irisviel's palm. Several silver-white ribbons gradually took shape, extending along her master's instructions, hiding within her hair and slowly reaching towards the man behind her. As for him, he appeared oblivious.

I must succeed!

Saber was extremely displeased.

Ever since she was summoned to this world, this uncomfortable feeling had been shrouding her heart. Only during the times she was alone with Irisviel could she find some relief.

Disagreement with her Master, unfavorable battle situations, conflicts with Caster—these could all be reasons to affect her mood, but none could compare to the displeasure brought about by the current situation.

She was so close to striking down that blasphemer with her sword, so close to making that sinner receive his due punishment. She had finally encountered a Heroic Spirit with a sense of honor who could be considered an opponent. Yet, because of a single Command Seal, the outlet for all her pent-up anger was blocked.

What was even more infuriating was that despite her immense displeasure, she couldn't blame her Master for any reason—Why would you stop me from killing Caster? And she had to use all her strength to protect that detestable person.

Sword and spear clashed in the forest, the resulting shockwaves causing cracks to appear on the ground.

Damn Lancer—Since she couldn't vent her anger on her Master or that Caster, the only remaining option was Lancer, who happened to appear at the wrong time and place. Therefore, Saber's sword strikes were sharper than ever. Fueled by this momentum, she, who was already fatigued, managed to suppress the fully-rested Lancer. The Spear Knight could only desperately parry the onslaught that advanced like a storm, completely unable to find an opening to counterattack.

This won't do.

A calm voice spoke within Saber's heart. This should be the experience gained from years of being a king and a knight. Although she seemed to have the upper hand, she knew her own limits. This was entirely reliant on the momentum she had built up to kill Caster. Once the momentum wanes, the only outcome would be defeat at the hands of her opponent.

She had to find a way to escape this predicament—that's what she thought, but Saber had already reached a point of no return. The Spear Knight was no ordinary foe. At this moment, even the slightest opening would be met with a series of counterattacks, leading to her defeat.

Was it death no matter what? Was this the inevitable fate of me, King Arthur? To never pursue the Holy Grail, whether as a human or as a Heroic Spirit?

Her sword was once again blocked by the twin guns, but unlike before, this time Saber was repelled by the counterforce, retreating nearly ten meters. Lancer, however, stood firm with a stable stance, not moving an inch. But he didn't seize the opportunity to pursue; instead, he also looked astonished.

It seems he didn't expect this move to have such an effect either.

However, Saber didn't have the luxury of celebrating her opponent's mistake now, because she knew her "momentum" had been completely depleted.

"This is truly... a nonsensical Holy Grail War..."

With that exclamation, Saber strained, holding her sword before her and glaring at Lancer across from her—even if defeat was certain, the King of Knights wouldn't let you finish him off so easily!

However, just before their blades met, both Heroic Spirits suddenly retracted their weapons, leaping back. They then nervously scanned their surroundings—there could only be one reason for such actions when a great enemy was present.

A potent and unfamiliar magical aura suddenly erupted in the forest. Its intensity was definitely not something a human mage could produce—another Servant had arrived.

The situation had become complicated. If Saber and Lancer continued their battle here, even if Lancer emerged victorious, he would undoubtedly be severely wounded—making him an easy target for the newly arrived Servant to claim the spoils. Neither of them could accept such an outcome, which was why they had temporarily ceased their fight.

But who was this newcomer—or perhaps, someone who had been lurking here all along and only chose to reveal themselves now? And what were their intentions?

Ps1. Happy Girls' Day! And belated Lantern Festival wishes too. (I won't say anything about tomorrow; I believe all you ladies are forever young and beautiful 16-year-olds, far from those "fujoshi" types!)

Ps2. I'll guarantee weekly updates at the very least for the new semester. As for more, it depends on the situation.

Ps3. Honestly, when they first asked me to "resurrect" this, I refused... because I can't just update whenever I want. I still have so many gal games to finish, and many more where I've only cleared one route. Plus, Guren and Pencil dragged me into the 300 Heroes pit, and I haven't even watched a lot of anime—in fact, I've barely watched any new anime in recent years...

Ps4. My Parasyte binge stopped when I went home for the Lunar New Year, and I haven't caught up. As for Ghoul, I'm following the manga. I heard the anime plot is different, so I plan to watch the ending. I did watch Gundam UC recently—from the looks of it, they intend to treat ZZ as dark history and make it disappear, but without ZZ, where would Puru come from? And without Puru, where would the Twelve come from? (Not the 450 one, though that one seems more famous...) Speaking of which, the Unicorn Gundam truly lives up to its haunted reputation. It's one thing for Amuro and Char to show up as ghosts, as 0093 and 0096 aren't that far apart, and even LaLa can be resurrected... but she died in 0079!!! The strongest Newtype is definitely her, who is Camus compared to her!

Psp. I impulsively bought Dengeki Bunko Fighting Climax. The dialogue in it is so hilariously messed up. Black★Rock Shooter and Railgun were talking, one saying "Let me show you the power of Level 5," and the other saying "Let me show you the power of Level 9," and then Railgun was stunned... And Shana and Taiga, hahahahahahahahaha!!! Long live Kugimiya!

Psv. Why doesn't Kamikō Studio localize it? Why, why!!!!

. I want to learn Japanese... Is it difficult?