A Transmigrator Teaches You How to Trash-Talk

The eastern sky had begun to pale with the first light of dawn. The freezing night wind rustled the branches and leaves in the forest, yet it could not stir the frozen atmosphere between the three Servants.

"What, do you two have some shady business to conduct on my territory?"

Because the events at the banquet had left her in a foul mood and mentally exhausted, Saber's tone was naturally filled with impatience.

"Are you insulting a knight, Saber?!"

Before Jizi could speak, Lancer was the one who fired back with equal aggression. A man who regarded chivalry as his moral code would not normally have been so rude, but nothing had gone right for him that night. His Master had been injured, the situation was dire, his relationship with his lord was strained, and his lady's actions had reopened the wounds from his life. He was in an extremely foul mood as well. Saber's mockery had happened to open the floodgates on the emotions he had been suppressing.

Although she noticed that Lancer's mood was off as well, Saber was looking for an outlet at the moment. Rather than say anything else, she flicked her Invisible Sword through a flourish.

Instantly understanding Saber's intentions—and even feeling a trace of secret delight—Lancer summoned his twin spears and pointed their tips at his opponent. The two knights, whose circumstances were much alike, both sought a battle that would let them temporarily forget everything and vent the pressure in their hearts.

However...

"Part the Sea—Moses' Miracle!"

...At the very instant before spearpoint met sword edge, a barrage of flames formed two parting waves, separating the two knights.

The person responsible was, without question, Jizi, a professional troublemaker of thirty years. She had remained silent during Saber and Lancer's confrontation because she had been organizing her words. Only now had she figured out how to fool them.

---------------Loading trash talk------------------

"...What? The banquet was already over?! I was too late... Damn Assassin, no matter how I looked at it, this was all their fault!"

"...Right. I wanted to witness the bearing of kings too, but on the way here, I happened to discover that the Assassins seemed to be carrying out some kind of group operation. So I tried to catch one, but something went wrong and he escaped. I tracked him all the way, only to find that he had turned toward Lancer's base..."

"...Well, I bear you no ill will, Lancer, but this is still the Holy Grail War. I think it was already more than generous of me to merely follow behind and do nothing. If I had wanted to pull anything—this arm bearing Command Seals doesn't belong to my Master, does it?"

"...Starting a fight here won't benefit either side. Neither Lancer nor Saber is in peak condition, right? Are you really willing to let the duel promised between knights proceed in this manner?"

Using the transmigrator's innate Inherent Skills, "Bluffing" and "Acting," Jizi successfully eased the tense atmosphere with just a few words. The three Servants were now seated around a stone table in a larger clearing in the forest, forming a tripod arrangement—the table and chairs had naturally been produced by Jizi. Although Saber and Lancer still felt that something was off, their minds were too muddled to sort out the logic. In the end, they unconsciously fell into Jizi's rhythm.

--------Trash-talk barrage! FIRE!-------------

"Let's not draw weapons again tonight. Do either of you knights have any objections to my proposal?"

"Caster—"

"Sorry, but I can't agree to that. My Master's Command Seals are still in your hands. I must retrieve them."

Though her proposal had been directly rejected, Jizi still wore a "kind" smile. She had only brought up the subject to test the two knights' attitudes. Saber truly seemed to have lost her will to fight, while Lancer was merely forced to put on a hard-line stance because of Kayneth's arm.

"You mean this?" Jizi pulled a cylindrical object from her four-dimensional cloak, which was comparable to Batman's utility belt. It was, astonishingly, the formaldehyde jar that had once held Ryunosuke's arm. And as fate would have it, its function this time was still preserving an arm.

Lancer forcibly restrained his urge to rise and snatch the arm away. After gathering his words, he said, "Although I know this is an excessive request, Caster, you—"

"No!" Jizi interrupted Lancer without hesitation and put the jar away again. "If I had met you while you were alive, there might have been room for negotiation. But this is the Holy Grail War—after all, I do not represent only myself. Lancer, shouldn't you understand that better than anyone?"

Thinking of the relationship between himself and his Master, Lancer had no choice but to admit that Jizi was right.

"Or rather, you want me to give up such an enormous advantage as 'the enemy's final Command Seal.' What of equal value can you offer in exchange?" Jizi suddenly changed direction as she watched Lancer sink into conflicted thought.

"I swear upon my name as a knight that I am willing to do one thing for you, so long as it does not violate my moral principles or position—"

"Are you joking? Do you think I'd believe that?"

Seeing what seemed to be a chance for a breakthrough, Lancer immediately planted his spear before him and solemnly swore an oath. However, before he could finish, Jizi interrupted him without hesitation. Her mockery also drew Saber's ire.

"Caster! I cannot pretend I did not hear what you just said. Are you insulting a knight's honor and character? In my era, that would have resulted in a duel to the death!"

If you can't find it by searching the book title, try searching for the author. It may simply have been renamed!

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Jizi gave three loud, dry laughs after Saber's words. This action once again raised the hostility of the two present, and they even stood up directly.

"Caster—"

"A knight's name—"

"Speaking of insulting a knight's honor and character, do you remember how the first Command Seal on this hand was used? Hmm?"

Before either knight could finish their declaration, the jar, which had somehow appeared again, traced a beautiful arc through the air. By the time it landed back in Jizi's hand, the knights had already withdrawn their stances and stood awkwardly beside the table.

"Please sit, Lancer." Jizi toyed with Kayneth's forearm as though tossing a coin, smiling teasingly. "Since we've brought up the subject, why don't we discuss it in greater depth? If you do not mind, I would also like Saber to listen. It concerns my understanding of chivalry."

---------------Jizi's inner thoughts: Damn it, after all that circling, I finally got to the point. The setup exhausted me.-----------

"First, let me make this clear: what I am about to say may be difficult for you to accept, but I mean no disrespect. After all, I am merely a witch. I have grown accustomed to playing tricks with words and language, and my sarcastic tone is only meant to emphasize the importance of what I say and leave a deeper impression on my listeners. In short, if either of you feels offended by anything I say next, you may tell me.

But don't suddenly shout, 'You have insulted a knight's honor!' and immediately cut me down. If you think I am wrong, then we can debate it. Truth does not fear questioning, does it? But if you simply cut me down, that cannot prove your viewpoint correct. It can only prove that you are stronger than I am.

Knights are not people who flaunt their might through superior strength, are they?

Then let us continue on the premise that we have reached the above consensus.

I swear to treat the weak with kindness;

I swear to bravely resist tyranny;

I swear to fight against all wrongdoing;

I swear to fight for the unarmed;

I swear to help anyone who asks me for aid;

I swear not to harm any fujoshi;

I swear to help my brother knights;

I swear to treat my friends sincerely;

I swear to remain faithful unto death to the one I love.

Besides the famous nine knightly vows, chivalry also includes a whole series of principles such as 'speak honestly and uprightly, and never deceive even unto death.' Broadly speaking, it means being a warrior of high moral character, loyalty, courage, and self-sacrifice. Am I wrong?

What exactly does this so-called loyalty refer to? Loyalty to the lord one serves, loyalty to God, loyalty to one's faith, loyalty to love? No matter what it is directed toward, loyalty cannot simply mean blind obedience, can it?

Then, Lancer, did your actions in this Holy Grail War truly conform to the chivalry you have always valued?

You devoted everything to your Master. Even when misunderstood and distrusted, you did not waver in your resolve. Such steadfastness is indeed admirable. But if you had always been doing what was supposedly right, why did things end up like this? Why did your relationship with your Master become what it is now?

What ruler would not want a knight like you? Who would not treat you as an honored guest, keeping you with great rewards and honor in exchange for your loyalty? Why was Kayneth different?

Something must have gone wrong somewhere, right?

Then who was wrong? Or what was wrong?

Were you wrong, Lancer? No, you were not—do not belittle yourself. As a knight, you were nearly perfect.

Then—as merely one perspective—could it be that chivalry itself was wrong?"

-------------------Behind the scenes--------------

That director who never keeps his promises appeared again—saying the last update before July and all that... Sigh...