Tsunade, You're Really Drunk!
Chapter 1

Sixteen Years! Sixteen Years! It Had Finally Arrived!

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This book contains a very high degree of original content. Only a very small number of plot points draw on the original work. Any vague settings from the original have been revised consistently, and many of the settings that appear in this book were supplemented and organized by me into what I felt were more reasonable versions.

Overall, everyone had their intelligence online—except the female characters, since the author was a hopeless amateur when it came to romance. There would be multiple heroines, but only a few important female characters would receive detailed portrayal; the rest would not be elaborated on too much. The writing style leaned toward comedy and messing around.

A word of advice: if you did not know much about Naruto or had not finished the entire series, including the flashbacks, I did not recommend reading this book. I assumed readers already knew many things, so the reading threshold might be fairly high. If you did not know the original work well enough, you might be left completely confused. Of course, the greatest truths were simple—those who had not seen it could still read it without issue.

A disclaimer: although this was a feel-good novel, I had mixed in a small amount of finer material. If certain developments in the story suddenly left you confused, you might as well check the paragraph comments. If you understood them, great; if not, just assume I was messing around. The first thirty chapters were not written very well because I had not made an outline back then. Please bear with them and keep reading. If it was not exciting after chapter thirty, feel free to curse me out.

Also, the story contained a large number of meme references. It all depended on whether you could spot them, so remember to leave paragraph comments~

(Brain storage area~ If your brain was not enough halfway through, be sure to come back and retrieve it~)

"Senya, remember to arrive at tonight's Clan Meeting on time. This is the most important Clan Meeting in Uchiha history, and it concerns the survival of the Uchiha."

"Got it. Eight o'clock, right? I'll go to Naka Shrine for the Clan Meeting then."

After notifying Senya, Uchiha Inohibi turned and left, continuing on to notify the others qualified to attend that night's Clan Meeting.

Only Special Jonin and ninja of higher rank could attend the Uchiha Clan Meeting. Whenever the clan had important matters to discuss, one would be convened to determine the clan's choices and the direction of its future development.

After closing the reddish-brown door and returning to the courtyard, Senya watched the two goldfish swimming in the stone pond, free from worries about the life-and-death dangers and scheming of the outside world.

As time passed, his parents had died one after another in the Third Shinobi World War.

They had left behind only Senya, who had been five years old at the time.

Eleven years had passed. Now, the only thing that kept Senya company was the ancient tree in the courtyard.

It was already September, and the weather had turned slightly cool. Evening breezes swept through the treetops. Beneath the sunset glow, the leaves looked even more withered and yellow. This thick old tree had existed in Senya's memories ever since his childhood.

Senya walked over to the brown reclining chair and lay down beneath the tree, quietly waiting for that night's Clan Meeting while recalling the past.

On the day Senya had been born, the moment he opened his eyes and saw his tiny hands, Chiba knew that he had transmigrated. The man and woman before him should have been his parents in this life.

"On the eve of the Uchiha Night of the Massacre, the host has successfully transmigrated into Uchiha Senya, a member participating in the Clan Meeting." "System activation in progress..." "Timeline error @#&..." "Activation failed. Once the timeline has been repaired, another repair attempt will be made..."

Senya, who had just transmigrated, had been thoroughly broken by that system. Could it be secondhand?

Over the years, relying on his own experience and the fairly decent ninja talent inherited from his parents, sixteen-year-old Chiba had already awakened the three-tomoe Sharingan and become a standard all-rounder Uchiha Jonin.

He had also reined in his true nature somewhat and gotten along fairly well with the people of the clan.

In his previous life, he had lived alone until the age of seventy. As for why he had been alone, it was mainly because although he had been handsome in his youth, whenever couples argued, his girlfriends could never outtalk him. He had never wanted to give in on that front either, so no girl could stand him for long.

As a result, despite dating nine women thanks to his handsome appearance, every relationship had ended in a breakup because he was too blunt and his girlfriends could not accept it.

After retirement, he had lived quite well on his company and state pensions. But with the rise of the internet, Senya, then in his sixties, had decisively entered the online industry using his life experience and become a streamer.

His distinctive way of speaking won the affection of quite a few young people in the new era. He had thought he could simply be a small-time streamer on Bilibili and live out his old age in peace.

But unexpectedly, in 2020, an accidental cold shattered his plan to become the first centenarian streamer. He had died young at the age of seventy.

The sunset twilight slowly faded beyond the horizon as the Full Moon rose.

Senya opened his eyes and looked at the moon, which had already risen. It was about time.

He returned indoors and changed into a brand-new custom combat uniform and strapped on his ninja sword.

Standing before the mirror, he examined the combat uniform he had commissioned and the weapon at his waist.

The entire outfit was made of dark-blue waterproof cloth. Its sleeves were slightly wide for concealing ninja tools, and the back bore the Uchiha clan's iconic red-and-white fan crest. The fabric had been specially woven from silk produced by an insect ninja beast and possessed extremely high resistance to chakra.

At his waist hung a ninja sword custom-made by a Hatake family blacksmith. It resembled a Miao Dao, with a thirty-centimeter hilt wrapped in black cloth and marked with the fan crest. Its blade was a full ninety centimeters long, forged entirely from Chakra metal. The blade was black, and its chakra transmission loss was virtually zero.

Even the sheath had been made from Medicinal wood from the Nara clan, preventing the blade from oxidizing. Nara Shikaku had even mocked him for it, saying, "Rich people really have strange ideas." Although regular maintenance could achieve the same result, Senya simply did not want to waste time on such trivial matters.

This entire set of equipment, along with all sorts of miscellaneous ninja tools, had nearly drained more than half of Senya's savings.

Still, Senya did not feel bad about it. Good steel belonged on the cutting edge, and clothes made the man just as a saddle made the horse.

With his height of one hundred and eighty-five centimeters, his sharply defined and muscular physique, the handsome face standard to the Uchiha clan, and the spiky long hair hanging down his back, this was no longer merely handsome—it was ridiculously handsome!

Senya had made all these preparations for tonight, for the activation of the system.

Sixteen years! Did anyone know how he had spent these sixteen years?! Without powerful strength to back him up, Senya had not even been able to speak as freely as he wanted, always afraid of offending someone and being targeted.

Although this had resulted in countless female classmates pursuing him at the Ninja Academy, and although Senya himself had enjoyed it, experiencing a happiness he had never known in his previous life, he still had to admit that not being able to reveal his true nature was just too painful!!!

As long as the system activated during tonight's Clan Meeting, his strength would definitely soar afterward.

Then he could finally take off the mask he had worn for sixteen years! He could become a sunny, cheerful young man whose outward self matched his inner self and who followed his heart!

Senya raced across the rooftops toward Naka Shrine.

The shrine's buildings had lost their former splendor under the wear of time. The Uchiha were the same. Ever since the night of the Nine-Tails Attack, they had been barely surviving beneath the village's oppression and had even been forced to relocate their entire clan to the edge of the village.

After lifting a floorboard inside the shrine, Senya arrived at the secret location where the Clan Meeting was being held.

Candles lined the surrounding walls of the meeting chamber. The clan members who had already arrived sat cross-legged on the floor, waiting for the rest of their brethren.

No one spoke. Under the orange-yellow candlelight, the shadows on the ground appeared even darker when viewed from the rear of the chamber, making the atmosphere even more oppressive.

Senya descended the stairs from the entrance and entered the Clan Meeting.

He was just about to head toward his seat in the middle.

"Uchiha Madara!!! Why are you here?!"

Elder Setsuna sprang to his feet, his eyes filled with vigilance and terror. The man he had once betrayed had left an indelible mark on his heart, like a god.

"Who!?"

"Where?"

The other younger clan members were utterly bewildered. After all, the name Uchiha Madara was taboo in the village. Only elderly people who had survived that era and a very small number of Jonin knew of it.

Senya was startled by the shout as well. He turned around, his face full of confusion.

Only after Elder Setsuna saw Senya's face did he realize that he had mistaken him for someone else. His build and clothing had simply been far too similar.

From behind, only the ninja sword at Senya's waist differed from Uchiha Madara's. Madara had carried the Uchiha clan's inherited divine artifact on his back, the Uchiha Gunbai, but it had been taken with him when he defected.

"Uchiha Senya! How could you dress like this?!"

Uchiha Setsuna pointed at Senya in accusation.

"Is there something wrong with my combat uniform?"

Senya looked at him with a friendly expression.

The young ninja seated below did not understand either. The combat uniform looked so cool that they wanted to commission one themselves. Elder Setsuna's taste could only be described as... unconventional.

Faced with Senya's question, Setsuna found himself unable to answer. He could hardly say that Senya's back had scared the wits out of him.

"Hmph! Forget it. It's nothing."

He turned his head away, unwilling to look at Senya.

Senya walked over to his seat.

"Time correct. Location correct. Event correct. The Mental Breakdown System has been activated." "By causing others to suffer mental breakdowns, you may obtain their talents. Choose whether to copy them."

Senya sat on the cushion, the corners of his mouth curving upward slightly. He looked increasingly kind!

Senya calculated inwardly, Uchiha Setsuna, huh? I wonder what talents you have that are worth taking...

End of Chapter
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