Disassembly successful. Skill Proficiency +1. Profession Experience Points +1 Enough Experience Points. Current Alchemist level: Lv. 1 Learned skill: Alchemy Heart Alchemy Heart Lv. 1: Improves skills through accumulated knowledge, granting bonuses to creation- and manufacturing-type skills.
Allen watched a useless blueprint turn to dust in his hand.
He took out another scrap of paper and disassembled it. In less than a second, it turned into powder as well.
"I get how the Alchemist class works now. New identity unlocked—the Demolition Office Bully Captain has come to pay his respects."
Allen plunged into the trash heap, releasing his disassembly skill with both hands as system notifications flashed through his mind.
An hour later, he had manually disassembled all the trash.
He swept the paper scraps into a pile and set them alight.
"Done. Time to call it a day."
Allen walked over to a nearby bench and sat there watching the flames burn out. Stroking his chin, he thought, I'll lie low for a while and grind my level up before going out. It's too dangerous out there otherwise.
And so, Allen moved into the Weapons Development Bureau.
Free food, free lodging, and a salary on top of that. Life could not get any sweeter.
Whenever he had time, he went to chat with his former prison mates, such as Dr. Wilson, the individual combat equipment expert.
"Wilson, do you understand Quantum Mechanics?" Allen asked with an air of profundity.
"I'm a mechanical engineer. I don't study the microscopic world."
Wilson drew lines across a blueprint without even lifting his eyelids.
He was the unlucky fellow who had eaten a gecko last time.
That had been Allen's greeting gift for making friends, so naturally he had to keep in touch and drop by to mooch food and drinks.
"Now that things have come to this, I won't hide it from you anymore. I'm an expert in the Quantum Realm."
Allen took a sip of coffee, then stuck out his tongue from the bitterness. "Ah... so fresh."
It was black coffee. Fresh my ass.
Wilson put down his work and quietly looked at Allen, wanting to hear about his accomplishments in quantum studies.
Though it was not his field, if Allen could fool even him, that would at least prove Allen had been an exceptionally talented man before he went insane.
Of course, he had never considered the possibility that Allen had been crazy from the start.
Ahem...
After clearing his throat, Allen said solemnly, "As the saying goes: if you can't decide, invoke Quantum Mechanics; if you can't match colors, go Cyberpunk; if you can't explain something, travel through time; if your imagination falls short, bring in parallel universes. The person bragging doesn't understand it, and neither does the listener. So, to overestimate yourself means not teaching yourself Quantum Mechanics."
"..."
Wilson silently lowered his head and continued working, not forgetting to add, "Take out the trash for me."
"I've got my eye on the paper you've used."
Allen picked up the discarded blueprints from the wastebasket, held them to his nose, and inhaled deeply with intoxicated delight. "That smell... pure old-school flavor."
Wilson had already developed mental immunity and pretended not to see a thing.
Before leaving, Allen did not forget to down the black coffee in one gulp.
Bleurgh...
The next second, the coffee in the cup was filled to the brim, nearly overflowing.
Seeing Allen suffer, Wilson was both annoyed and amused.
He was annoyed because Allen came every day to mooch coffee. He was amused because Wilson only drank black coffee, and Allen could not handle bitterness. Every time before leaving, Allen would gulp it all down, only to vomit it back into the cup before it even passed his throat.
Trash from every office was collected and piled up in the incinerator room.
Allen spread out a sheet of paper.
His eyes gleamed.
"The taste of knowledge."
He greedily absorbed the contents of the blueprint.
Alchemy Heart Proficiency +1
After receiving the system notification, Allen disassembled the blueprint and judged, "Not pure enough. Erlov's standards still need work."
He moved on to the next sheet.
Alchemy Heart Proficiency +7
"Pure enough. Wilson really didn't let me down."
Allen's days at the Weapons Development Bureau were that simple and happy.
Day after day, the same routine repeated, and three months passed in a flash.
At the same time, Allen quietly grew stronger.
Of course, by quietly, he meant secretly developing. His mouth, on the other hand, was never idle.
Not only did he absorb the knowledge accumulated by countless scientists, but he also spent his spare time reading basic books.
"Master Dao, I've become immortal!"
Allen stood atop the bench beside the trash incinerator and shouted at the top of his lungs.
Just then, a woman walked past and looked at him with utter confusion.
"Widow."
Allen hurried up to her and bragged, "I'm ready to come out of retirement now. Want to see what I can do?"
"Oh? What can you do?" Natasha asked flatly.
"That's something I can't tell you."
Allen said smugly, "Anyway, I punch America's Einstein, kick Britain's Newton, debate Germany's little Gauss, verbally destroy France's Descartes, knead the Riemann Hypothesis by hand, twist Fermat's Last Theorem with my legs, watch risqué videos on my phone with my left hand, and capture Goldbach with one arm using my right. In short, I'm like a calf riding a motorcycle—badass as hell."
"..."
Natasha looked unconcerned as she calmly said, "I have something to do. I'll be going."
"Mm, okay."
As Natasha walked away without even looking back, Allen loudly sang, "Arise, ye prisoners of starvation! Arise, ye wretched of the earth! For justice thunders condemnation, a better world's in birth..."
Singing The Internationale at a time like this made it sound like they were about to march into battle. Natasha awkwardly quickened her pace.
When the song ended,
Allen was still not satisfied. Then his hands involuntarily rose, and his expression changed dramatically. "Little Left, Little Right, it's not what you think! I'm a very traditional and faithful man. I only like eighteen-year-old girls forever. Natasha is obviously a mature woman, so she doesn't fall within my consideration range."
Allen leaned left, resting his face against his left hand. "Little Right, don't you understand yet? Men always say one thing and do another."
Allen leaned right, resting his face against his right hand. "Little Left, what should I do? But I love him so much."
Straightening himself, Allen gazed affectionately at his right hand and said softly, "Little Right, you're so cute. How could I possibly lie to you? Come on, give me a kiss."
Smack!
His left hand delivered a resounding slap across Allen's face.
On the spot, Allen glared furiously at his left hand.
"You dare hit my darling? I'll fight you!"
For a moment, his left and right hands began slapping each other.
"Stop fighting! Slapping around like that will cause breast hyperplasia."
Allen glared angrily at his hands. "Stop right now. You're both my little treasures."
Instead, both hands began wildly slapping his own face.
"If I don't teach you a lesson, you'll start tearing the roof off."
In a fit of rage, he got a little angry.
Not long after, the triangular love affair settled down.
Allen twisted himself into an awkward position and pinned his arms beneath his legs.
"Allen, what are you playing at?"
Wilson looked strangely at Allen, who had tied himself up.
"Wilson, I'm teaching my two disobedient wives a lesson."
Wives?
Where would a lunatic like you get wives?
Wilson seemed to realize what he was implying. With awkward but polite composure, he said, "I won't meddle in your family affairs. I'm leaving."
On his way to the office building, Wilson occasionally heard Allen going crazy behind him.
"Don't hit my face, Little Left! I make a living with this face! Believe it or not, I'll chop you up?"
"Little Right, don't lower yourself to her level. She's just a shrew who refuses to listen to reason."
Wilson looked back once and sighed. "His condition is getting worse and worse."
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