Two Roads

Late at night on the streets of the capital, the members of the Green Bud Literary Society staggered along together. Every now and then, someone loudly recited a baffling verse, drawing sidelong glances from passersby.

Drunken poets were wild and unrestrained, free as the wind. Why should they care what anyone else thought?

Lu Jingyao had drunk today as well. Her head swam, and even her legs drifted as she walked, yet there was not the slightest trace of reckless joy in her heart.

In the end, she had not been the one to pay for today's gathering, but that felt even worse than paying for it herself.

She had originally planned to borrow money from He Xue and a few classmates she was close with, grit her teeth, scrape together the meal money, and settle the bill. But He Xue had "accidentally" let the news slip.

Qian Shun from the literary society immediately paid the bill generously. He even took Lu Jingyao's hand and offered her many words of comfort.

"We're all sisters here. If you run into trouble in the future, just speak up. Money is something outside the body; only friendship and affection can endure forever."

Qian Shun's words were sincere and full of feeling, but all Lu Jingyao felt at the time was the rubbing against her palm. All she saw was the heat in Qian Shun's eyes, and all she smelled was the foul stench of alcohol on his breath.

Disgusted, Lu Jingyao made it clear on the spot that she was borrowing this money from Qian Shun and would definitely repay it someday.

But He Xue and the others seized the chance to egg things on, laughing as they asked Lu Jingyao, "How are you going to repay it?" She might as well offer herself in marriage.

Later, Lu Jingyao nearly walked out on the spot. Only then did everyone calm down and claim that they had merely been "joking."

But Lu Jingyao had already quietly resolved to repay Qian Shun as soon as possible and avoid becoming further entangled with him.

Yet what she feared came to pass. When everyone returned to the Foreign Languages Institute and was about to part ways for their dormitories, Qian Shun stopped Lu Jingyao.

"Jingyao, take a walk with me!"

"..."

In the dead of night during the 1980s, for a man and a woman to go strolling outside together was basically equivalent to dating.

There was even a term back then—"pressing the roads"—which specifically referred to intimacy between couples.

Of course Lu Jingyao would not fall for it. She was certain that if she went for a "casual walk" with Qian Shun tonight, rumors that they were a couple would spread throughout the school by tomorrow.

In an age when people's words could be feared, a lie could quickly become the truth.

"I'd better not, Senior Qian. It's already very late, so it wouldn't be appropriate."

Lu Jingyao rejected Qian Shun neither humbly nor arrogantly, then turned and headed toward the women's dormitory building.

But Qian Shun hurried after her. "Jingyao, don't overthink it. I just have a lot of inspiration right now, and I hope to find someone to discuss it with,

and you are the most talented among us. Only you are qualified to resonate with me spiritually."

Lu Jingyao walked quickly, and Qian Shun pursued urgently. One in front and one behind, they made it all the way to the women's dormitory building, yet Qian Shun still refused to give up.

What a joke—nearly thirty yuan!

He had spent a worker's monthly wages and could not even hold her little hand. Was that all, just a bubble rising to the surface? Did Qian Shun look like an idiot?

Qian Shun was not an idiot, but Lu Jingyao was even less of one.

Any girl who had been beautiful since childhood would be harassed a few times while growing up. A man as blunt and impatient as Qian Shun—Lu Jingyao could see through his lustful intentions at a glance.

She said sternly, "I'm truly sorry, Senior Qian, but I have no interest in being alone with you. As for the money I owe you, I will repay it in full next month."

"..."

Qian Shun froze where he stood. He never imagined that Lu Jingyao, who usually seemed soft and easy to bully, would be so utterly unwilling to spare his feelings.

Judging by her attitude now, she was only one step short of shouting, "You hooligan, get away from me!"

Qian Shun's face turned from red to black, gradually twisting into something ferocious.

"Repay it next month? How are you going to repay it? Starve yourself for a month?"

"You really think you're such valuable goods? Do you know that I was the one who pulled strings with the school journal to get your work published?"

"You're a country girl. Do you know how precious the goodwill of a capital city resident is? Do you know how inviolable a capital city resident's dignity is?"

Under the stimulation of alcohol, Qian Shun finally could not restrain the fury buried in his heart. Once unleashed, it could not be stopped.

Startled, Lu Jingyao first backed away several steps, then quickly turned and fled in disarray into the women's dormitory building.

She was terrified that if she fled even one step too slowly, that drunkard would pounce on her like a starving wolf.

Only after Lu Jingyao ran all the way into her dorm room did the fear in her heart gradually fade, replaced by mounting resentment and grievance.

"Money, money, money, money—why is it always money? Must my entire life be bound by money and stripped of freedom?"

Lu Jingyao shed tears of grievance.

Ever since she could remember, her family had been plagued by "money."

Dad was merely a privately hired teacher with a high school education. His tiny monthly salary was truly stretched to the breaking point supporting a family of five.

If Dad had not clung so steadfastly to education, Lu Jingyao, this "money-losing burden," would have been forced to drop out after middle school.

No matter how much they economized, a year of high school cost several dozen yuan. For the impoverished Lu family, that was an enormous burden.

But in the winter of last year, heavy snow had crushed their house, and Mom's lung disease relapsed as well. It had felt as if they truly could not get past that hurdle. If not for Li Ye—

At that thought, Lu Jingyao suddenly swayed, nearly falling over.

The Li Ye of that time had been very much like Qian Shun.

He too came from a well-off family, never lacked pocket money, and had expressed his admiration for Lu Jingyao.

But Li Ye was not the prince on a white horse in Lu Jingyao's dreams.

He did not understand poetry or literature, was not good at studying, and always smiled foolishly at her. That raw, green awkwardness of a young lad always made Lu Jingyao feel embarrassed.

It could be said that apart from being tall and handsome, Li Ye had nothing else going for him.

But when the Li family came to propose with one hundred and twenty yuan, along with nearly half a cartload of betrothal gifts, Lu Jingyao had no choice but to accept reality.

The roof of her family's house was replaced, Mom's lung disease was cured, and Li Ye's pocket money swept away the gloom that had shrouded the impoverished Lu family for years, filling it with laughter and cheer.

During those days, Lu Jingyao felt both happy and stifled. She did not know what kind of position she would sink into in the family in the days ahead, burdened by the "vast debt" she owed.

Was she like the vine in poetry, able only to grow by clinging to a great tree, doomed to be its appendage for life?

But a turning point still appeared.

Over that year or so, Lu Jingyao no longer had to frequently skip class and return home to help Mom with labor. She also hired an English teacher for private tutoring. Her grades improved by leaps and bounds, and she finally got into university.

And Li Ye was still that handsome young man who smiled foolishly and was only average at studying.

On the night she received her university admission letter, Lu Jingyao's father showed her two roads.

No one knew a daughter better than her father. He did not want to restrain her soaring thoughts, so he placed the choice in Lu Jingyao's hands.

One road was to voluntarily return to her hometown to work after graduating from university, then live a steady, peaceful life with Li Ye.

The other was for an eagle to strike across the vast sky, break out of its cage, soar freely through the heavens, and never return.

Already insecure and oppressed because they were not well matched in family status, Lu Jingyao chose the latter.

Her father silently agreed, went to call off the engagement, and bore everything himself.

When Lu Jingyao left Qinghe County, she felt that she had finally escaped the sea of suffering.

But why, after arriving at university, had it become another cycle?

And compared to Li Ye, why was this Qian Shun so utterly disgusting?