At a time like this, the only one who dared to speak was that bastard.
"Nice," they heard him say. "Sounds like your job isn't too busy, and you have plenty of time to spend with your kids. I'm the unlucky one—I wear too many hats, and those little brats have been running wild for ages."
Batman raised an eyebrow. "How many children do you have? At your age, Tim probably hasn't arrived yet, has he?"
"No Damian," Bruce replied. "But Dick, Jason, and Tim are all here."
Batman was visibly surprised. "Are you serious? How old are you?"
"I know how to preserve my youth." Bruce looked immensely pleased with himself. "You definitely wouldn't believe me if I said I was under thirty, but I think it's a very subjective matter. In order to achieve my goal of earning a doctorate before thirty, I've provisionally decided that I'm twenty-nine."
He spoke like a madman, his words barely making sense from one sentence to the next, but Batman was still quite interested. "You do look very young. I assume you have some kind of skincare routine, but I can't accept Talia's idea of lying down on some operating table or whatever. Maybe looking older gives you more authority, right?"
"Perhaps." Bruce nodded. "Ever since those little bastards started high school, they haven't really treated me like their father anymore. Last time, Dick even asked me for relationship advice."
Batman's eyes widened at once. He leaned closer and asked, "Dick from your universe is dating someone? Who is it?"
"A female magician," Bruce said, trying to remember. "Her name was Rachel, I think?"
"It isn't Barbara?"
"Unfortunately, Barbara from our universe hasn't been born yet." Bruce said, "Gordon only just got his girlfriend back. I think they still have a long