I Can't Stay Alive at All!

The chat burst into laughter!

'Hahahahahaha, what kind of genius game is this?'

'Just as expected of you, Golden Wind.'

'Is Dong Gua's nickname Xiao Liang or something?'

'He just flew right out of there, hahaha...'

'Brother Qie probably never expected this kid to have such bizarre bones.'

'It's fun. It has that Mask kind of beauty.'

'You really get Jim Carrey.'

'Who the hell calls their own kid an idiot? Hahahaha.'

'This game is seriously too absurd...'

The chat was dying of laughter, but Liu Peiqie looked frantic!

He couldn't let Dong Gua die just like that!

Otherwise, he'd have to become the son next round!

"Dong Gua! Holy shit, my eldest son, are you dead?!"

Liu Peiqie hurried downstairs, intending to circle around to the backyard and check on Dong Gua.

But the moment he opened the door!

An unidentified lump flew straight at him!

Like a stretched-out piece of taffy, it smacked right onto his face.

Then Dong Gua let out a strange cry. "A-dah!"

Dong Gua, wearing nothing but a diaper, flew up and kicked Liu Peiqie!

"Take that, Daddy!!!"

It had to be said that, under Gu Sheng's instructions, this game had not undergone collision volume testing.

As a result, its physics could break down under certain extreme conditions.

And so—

With one flying kick from diaper-clad Dong Gua, Liu Peiqie's entire body actually took off!

Like a deflated balloon, he flew all over the living room before finally crashing to the floor like a limp rag doll, spinning in circles.

For a moment!

The stream was filled with the two of them screaming!

"Holy shit! Holy shit, I'm flying! Son, save me, save save save me!!!"

"Holy shit, that was awesome, Daddy! Woohoo! My dad's ascending to heaven!!!"

The chat was losing it—

'"Filial piety at its finest."'

'Hahahahaha, such a loving father and devoted son.'

'Is this even a game made by humans?'

'It has the beauty of an animation project made after three years of studying.'

'This is so cursed, hahahahaha.'

'"My dad's ascending to heaven" made me laugh so hard I threw up. This game is so stupid.'

'What a filial son.'

'Two hyperthyroid patients.'

'Checking the mental state of this game's designer—'

'All I can say is, the entertainment value is maxed out...'

'Hahahahaha...'

This was fun!

Dong Gua had never seen such an outrageous game before. The joy of causing trouble made him wildly excited!

Before Liu Peiqie could get back up, he leaped to his feet and ran toward the refrigerator in a bizarre, mutant-like posture!

"Daddy! Daddy, I'm hungry! I need something to eat!"

As he spoke, Dong Gua stretched out a hand.

Normally, at his height, he wouldn't have been able to reach the refrigerator handle.

But!

This game had no such thing as normal logic.

The next second, Dong Gua's arms stretched out like taffy, instantly extending in an utterly ridiculous pose to grab the handle and yank open the refrigerator.

"Woohoo! Let's see! Do we have any rat poison in our fridge?!"

Behind him, Liu Peiqie finally got to his feet.

The moment he heard that, he scrambled after Dong Gua while complaining.

"Holy shit, how did you open that door?! Hey! Hey! You can't just eat whatever's in the fridge!"

"Don't worry about me! I have to get myself a little burger today! Hehehe!"

Dong Gua ignored Liu Peiqie completely. After all, if he successfully got himself killed, Liu Peiqie would have to be the dad next round!

Seeing that death was within reach, Dong Gua stood right inside the refrigerator, snatching up a burger and stuffing it into his mouth, box and all!

"Eat! Fuck it, I'm gonna stuff my face! Reborn: I'm Gonna Be the Dad!"

After one bite of refrigerated burger!

Dong Gua's fullness immediately rose by one-fifth, but a green poisoned status appeared!

Liu Peiqie's expression changed at once!

"Don't! Don't eat it, don't eat it! Son! Put it down, don't eat it! You're gonna die!"

"No way! I'm eating it! I'm stuffing my face!"

Dong Gua let out an evil laugh, already looking like he was in a hyperthyroid episode!

"Even the Jade Emperor himself can't save me! I can't stay alive at all today!!!"

Liu Peiqie was about to lose his mind as he watched Dong Gua's poison status nearly stack to full.

In his flustered panic, he instinctively tried to pick Dong Gua up and stop the baby from doing anything else suicidal.

But in his haste, he made a mistake.

With one careless click, his hand hit the refrigerator door!

"Hey, hey, hey, fuck, don't—!!!"

Bang!

In an instant, Liu Peiqie's despairing shout rang through the stream—

"Holy shit! I clicked the wrong thing! Why the hell did I close the refrigerator door?!"

The chat was laughing itself insane—

'Hahahahaha, he even closed the refrigerator door!'

'Brother Qie: You were dying too slowly, so I thought I'd help.'

'The family harmony is the main thing.'

'When there's no danger, Dad is the greatest danger.'

'Hahahahaha, how many steps does it take to lock your son in a refrigerator?'

'Now there's really no saving him at all.'

'This game is way too hyperthyroid.'

'I'm crying from laughing, hahahahaha.'

'This game is so fucking cursed.'

'It's so half-assed, yet mysteriously fun.'

'Brother Qie is such a dumbass.'

'Maybe Brother Qie closed the refrigerator door on purpose? (doge)'

'Just so he can be the son, right? (smirk)'

'Honestly, being the son in this game really does look more fun...'

Amid the viewers' discussion!

Just five seconds later!

You lost

As those three words appeared on Liu Peiqie's screen!

Dong Gua's victorious cheer also rang out over voice chat:

"Awesome! Fuck! What a great death!"

"Young people really are healthy. Lie down and you're out cold!"

"Brother Qie! Guess what! I get to be your daddy now!!!"

As for Liu Peiqie, he instantly turned into a Cybertronian.

The moment he opened his mouth, a torrent of profanity poured out.

The stream was on fire!

Meanwhile!

Shen Miaomiao checked the time.

It was already ten o'clock.

In A Yin's livestream on Shark's gaming section, the streamer's voice came through:

"Alright, that's it for today's stream. Same time tomorrow, don't miss it. Bye-bye!"

With that, the stream went black.

Shen Miaomiao let out a long breath as well.

"Phew—"

At last, nothing unexpected had happened.

She had been waiting in A Yin's stream early today specifically to brace herself in advance.

She absolutely couldn't let another Mario Bros. situation happen, where some inexplicable top streamer in the gaming category made the game blow up.

Fortunately, Gu Sheng's good luck did not seem to have continued this time.

During A Yin's bad game segment today, he had not come across their Who's Your Daddy.

He had only tested a few games with mediocre ideas and dull gameplay before ending his stream on schedule.

"Perfect!"

Shen Miaomiao was delighted.

"Now there's no way anything can go wrong."

Without a streamer driving traffic their way, with each copy priced at five yuan, even if they sold over a thousand copies in a week, she would still lose eighty or ninety thousand yuan—equivalent to eight or nine hundred thousand!

Not only could she make up for the money she had failed to lose last time, she could even score a huge profit!

If things kept going this smoothly, she would soon achieve financial freedom and live the life of a happy slacker.

And if her dad still couldn't stand seeing her lying around at home, she could just rent a yacht and travel around the world.

Hehehe.

At the thought of it, Shen Miaomiao couldn't help letting out a smug laugh.

The system really was the best!

Wasn't her ideal life practically within reach now?!

However, Shen Miaomiao had no idea that—

Just as she shut off the stream and climbed into bed, ready to begin dreaming sweet dreams—

Far away in Tianjin, A Yin, who had just ended his stream, picked up his phone.

On the screen was a short video full of "laughter and cheer" and "flowery language"—

"I don't care! I'm eating it! I can't stay alive at all today!"

"Son! Holy shit! Why the hell did I close the refrigerator door?!"

"Woohoo! What a great death!"

"Damn it, I really got played by you, you sneaky bastard..."

It made A Yin burst out laughing—

"This game's kinda interesting..."