Zhongli: Headache...

The next day

[Stelle: 1]

[System: Woo-hoo~ Did everyone miss me?]

[System: Wait, are you living here now?!]

[System: Never mind the others, why didn't even I get the first comment!]

[Stelle: Ehe!]

[System: Ehe te nandayo!]

[Kiana: Waking up and watching videos right away—awesome!]

[Murata Himeko: Kiana, are you two already awake?]

[Raiden Mei: Miss Himeko, Kiana and I are awake, but Bronya and Wendy...]

[Seele (White): What's wrong with Sister Bronya?!]

[Theresa: You must be the Seele that Bronya mentioned, right? Don't worry, Bronya's fine...]

[Bronya: Seele, Bronya is okay.]

[Seele (White): I'm glad Sister Bronya's fine.]

[Kiana: Bronya, what happened to you yesterday?]

[Bronya: Kiana, Bronya is very sorry about yesterday. Bronya didn't expect that the biochip installed in Bronya's brain had a failsafe left by Mother Cocolia.]

[Wendy: So that's how it was? I knew it—Sister Bronya didn't lie to me.]

[Bronya: Wendy, Bronya is truly sorry about yesterday...]

[Wendy: No! Sister Bronya, it's not your fault. Blame the one who controlled you.]

[Theresa: Cocolia, huh... That vixen, even willing to harm her own child.]

[System: Alright, you can talk about this in private later. It's video time now!]

[Next up is today's first video.]

[Current Situation of the Six Gods Gathering] (This video is from the 2024 Genshin Impact Birthday Celebration)

[Venti: .]

[Ningguang: Judging by the title, it should be a gathering of six gods.]

[Cyno: But why six gods? What about the seventh?]

[Diluc: Isn't it obvious? They got left out.]

[Diluc: As for which nation's god...]

[Tartaglia: Hey hey hey! What's that supposed to mean! Our Fatui's reputation isn't great, but...]

[La Signora: Shut up, Childe.]

[Diluc: Hah! I didn't even say who it was, and someone's already jumping to conclusions.]

[Tartaglia: You tricked me! If you've got guts, fight me fair and square!]

[La Signora: Shut up, Childe. You've disgraced the Fatui enough.]

The video starts playing.

The screen shows a view of Liyue Harbor, then cuts to Zhongli appearing on screen. Flanking him are the Anemo Archon Venti and the Dendro Archon Nahida, while across from him sit the Pyro Archon Marika, the Hydro Archon Furina, and the Electro Archon Raiden Ei. Judging by the camera angle, Zhongli is seated in the host's position.

[Hu Tao: Zhongli, why is it you!]

[Barbara: What's that bard doing there?]

[Zhongli: Master, by common logic, since this gathering is held in Liyue, it's only natural to have a local introduce the dishes, isn't it?]

[Hu Tao: Is that really the case?]

[Zhongli: Naturally.]

Zhongli himself knew how flimsy that excuse was, but for the sake of his retirement plans, he had no choice.

[Barbara: Then what about this bard?]

[Venti: Looks like I can't hide it anymore...]

[Venti: Since that's the case, I might as well come clean.]

[Venti: Rejoice, everyone! I am Mondstadt's Anemo Archon, Barbatos.]

[Venti: How about that? Your own god right beside you—pretty moving, huh!]

[Barbara: Don't you dare insult Lord Barbatos!]

[Barbara: How could Lord Barbatos possibly be a bard like you!]

[Diona: That's right! How could Lord Barbatos be a drunkard like you!]

[Kaeya: Yeah! Venti, your poems aren't bad, but don't go claiming to be our Anemo Archon.]

[Lumine: ...]

[Lumine: Is it possible he really is the Anemo Archon?]

[Kaeya: Come on, if he's the Anemo Archon, then I'm the Cryo Archon!]

"This scene is quite rare—I didn't expect everyone to find time to gather here despite your busy schedules." Zhongli was the first to break the calm atmosphere.

"Morax, you're too polite. And as for the word 'busy,' use it sparingly from now on." Nahida looked at the four Archons across from her and teased, "You four are probably the most idle people in all of Teyvat."

[Nilou: That outfit... Could you be the Lesser Lord Kusanali?]

[Nahida: That's right.]

[Nilou: Greetings, Lesser Lord Kusanali!]

[Collei: Greetings, Lesser Lord Kusanali!]

[Tighnari: Greetings, Lesser Lord Kusanali!]

[Cyno: Greetings, Lesser Lord Kusanali!]

[Nahida: No need for that, everyone. I'm not yet a qualified god.]

[Kiana: Not a qualified god?]

[Kiana: Do gods in your world have to take exams or something?]

[Nahida: No, the positions of the Seven Archons are granted by Celestia. It's just that my abilities aren't sufficient yet, so I can't become a qualified god.]

[Hu Tao: Wait, Zhongli! What did the Dendro Archon just call you!]

[Zhongli: ...]

[Ningguang: Greetings, Your Majesty the Geo Archon!]

[Xiao: Greetings, Your Majesty.]

[Ganyu: Greetings, Your Majesty.]

[Zhongli: I am now merely the Guest Official of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Zhongli—not the Geo Archon Morax.]

Inside Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Zhongli was sipping tea when his identity was exposed, and a headache immediately set in.

Suddenly, the door to the parlor was pushed open, and a spirited voice rang out from the entrance: "Zhongli!"

Great. Here came the bigger headache.

"Master, you're back." Zhongli looked at Hu Tao as she walked in and responded with some resignation.

"I never would have guessed!" Hu Tao came over and patted Zhongli on the shoulder. "You're the Geo Archon."

"By common logic, I am now only the Guest Official of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, not the Geo Archon Rex Lapis," Zhongli said, feeling a headache coming on as he looked at the child he had practically raised.

"So you're planning to stay on as the Guest Official of Wangsheng?" Hu Tao had actually been worried that Zhongli might leave once his identity was exposed, but hearing his reply put her at ease.

"Well then... Old Man, cough up the gold!" Hu Tao pulled out her heirloom Staff of Homa and swung it at Zhongli. "You're the Geo Archon! Why do you keep putting everything on Wangsheng's tab?!"

"Because I am now merely the mortal Zhongli, not the Geo Archon Rex Lapis. Therefore, I cannot mint Mora," Zhongli replied, unbothered by Hu Tao's insolence. After all, he had watched her grow up, and his current expenses still relied on Wangsheng.

Of course, the most important reason was that he knew exactly how much he spent daily. For the sake of a comfortable retirement, getting hit once in a while was nothing.

But seeing the murderous glint in Hu Tao's eyes, Zhongli quickly added, "Though my recent expenses won't be charged to Wangsheng. A friend has offered to cover them."

Just then, the door to Wangsheng opened again. In walked Ningguang, the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing, along with Ganyu, the Qixing secretary who had served for a thousand years.

"Your Majesty the Geo Archon..." Before they could finish their greeting, they saw Hu Tao wielding the Staff of Homa, its other end landing squarely on their Archon's head.

At the sight, Ningguang almost instinctively shouted, "The Geo Archon has been attacked! Seal the area!"