The next day
[Stelle: 1]
[System: Woohoo~ Did you all miss me?]
[System: Wait, do you live here now?!]
[System: Forget everyone else, but why didn't even I get the first comment?!]
[Stelle: Ehehe!]
[System: Ehehe janai yo!]
[Kiana: Waking up and getting to watch videos right away—awesome!]
[Murata Himeko: Kiana, are you all awake already?]
[Raiden Mei: Ms. Himeko, Kiana and I are already awake, but Bronya and Wendy...]
[Seele (White): What happened to Bronya?!]
[Theresa: You must be the little Seele Bronya mentioned, right? Don't worry, Bronya is fine...]
[Bronya: Seele, Bronya is fine.]
[Seele (White): It's good that Bronya is okay.]
[Kiana: Bronya, what was going on with you yesterday?]
[Bronya: Kiana, Bronya is very sorry about yesterday. Bronya never expected the biological chip installed in Bronya's brain to have a contingency left behind by Mother Cocolia.]
[Wendy: So that was it? Just as I thought, Bronya didn't lie to me.]
[Bronya: Wendy, Bronya is very sorry about what happened yesterday...]
[Wendy: No! Bronya, this isn't your fault. If anyone is to blame, it's the person who controlled you.]
[Theresa: Cocolia... That mother fox actually laid hands on her own child.]
[System: Alright, you can talk about that in private later. It's video time now!]
[Now playing today's first video.]
[Current Situation of the Six Gods Gathering] (This video is from the 2024 Genshin Impact Birthday Celebration)
[Venti: .]
[Ningguang: Judging by the title, this should be a gathering of six gods.]
[Cyno: But why six gods? Where is the seventh?]
[Diluc: Isn't it obvious? They were definitely ostracized.]
[Diluc: As for which nation's god it is...]
[Tartaglia: Hey, hey, hey! What do you mean by that?! The Fatui's reputation may not be good, but...]
[La Signora: Shut up! Childe.]
[Diluc: Heh! I hadn't even said who it was, yet someone already took it personally.]
[Tartaglia: You tricked me! If you've got the guts, fight me fair and square!]
[La Signora: Shut up! Childe, you've disgraced the Fatui enough.]
The video began.
Liyue Harbor appeared on the screen. Then the scene shifted, revealing Zhongli seated between the Anemo Archon Venti and the Dendro Archon Nahida. Across from him sat the Pyro Archon Marika, the Hydro Archon Furina, and the Electro Archon Raiden Ei. From the camera angle, Zhongli was seated at the head of the table.
[Hu Tao: Zhongli, why are you there?!]
[Barbara: Why is that bard everywhere?]
[Zhongli: Director, by common sense, since this gathering is being held in Liyue, it naturally requires a local to introduce the dishes.]
[Hu Tao: Is that really it?]
[Zhongli: Naturally.]
Zhongli naturally knew that excuse was far too forced, but for the sake of his retirement plans, this was the only way.
[Barbara: Then what's the deal with that bard?]
[Venti: Looks like I can't hide it anymore...]
[Venti: Since that's the case, I suppose I have no choice but to admit it.]
[Venti: Rejoice, everyone. I am Barbatos, the Anemo Archon of Mondstadt.]
[Venti: So? Isn't it moving to have the god you worship right beside you?]
[Barbara: Don't you dare insult Lord Barbatos!]
[Barbara: How could Lord Barbatos possibly be a bard like you?]
[Diona: That's right! How could Lord Barbatos possibly be a drunkard like you?!]
[Kaeya: Exactly! Venti, your poetry is indeed quite good, but don't try to ride our Anemo Archon's coattails.]
[Lumine: ...]
[Lumine: Is it possible that he really is the Anemo Archon?]
[Kaeya: Give me a break. If he's the Anemo Archon, then I'm the Cryo Archon!]
"This is quite a rare occasion. I never expected you all to find the time to gather here despite your busy schedules." Zhongli was the first to break the quiet atmosphere.
"Morax, you're being too polite. Also, you should use the word 'busy' with caution in the future." Nahida looked at the four gods opposite her and remarked, "You four are probably the idlest people in Teyvat."
[Nilou: That attire... Could you be Lesser Lord Kusanali?]
[Nahida: That's right.]
[Nilou: Greetings, Lesser Lord Kusanali!]
[Collei: Greetings, Lesser Lord Kusanali!]
[Tighnari: Greetings, Lesser Lord Kusanali!]
[Cyno: Greetings, Lesser Lord Kusanali!]
[Nahida: There's no need for this, everyone. As I am now, I'm not yet a qualified god.]
[Kiana: Not a qualified god?]
[Kiana: Do gods in your world have to take exams?]
[Nahida: No. The positions of the Seven Archons are granted by Celestia. It's simply that my abilities are still lacking, so I cannot yet be considered a qualified god.]
[Hu Tao: Wait, Zhongli! What did the Dendro Archon call you?!]
[Zhongli: ...]
[Ningguang: Greetings, Lord.]
[Xiao: Greetings, Lord.]
[Ganyu: Greetings, Lord.]
[Zhongli: I am merely Zhongli, a Guest Official of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. I am not Morax, the Geo Archon.]
At the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Zhongli had been drinking tea when he saw his identity exposed, and a sharp headache immediately came over him.
Suddenly, the doors of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor were shoved open. An energetic voice rang out from the entrance. "Zhongli!"
Great. An even bigger headache had arrived.
"Director, you're back." Zhongli looked at the entering Hu Tao and replied helplessly.
"Who would've thought!" Hu Tao walked over and patted Zhongli on the shoulder. "You're actually the Lord."
"By common sense, I am now merely a Guest Official of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, not Geo Archon Rex Lapis." Zhongli looked at the child he could practically say he had watched grow up, feeling a headache coming on.
"So you plan to keep being a Guest Official at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?" Hu Tao had actually been worried that Zhongli would leave after his identity was exposed, but hearing his answer put her at ease.
"Then... you old geezer! Spit out some Mora!" Hu Tao directly pulled out the ancestral Staff of Homa and swung it at Zhongli. "You're Geo Archon Rex Lapis! Why do you always put every bill on the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's tab?!"
"Because I am now merely the mortal Zhongli, not Geo Archon Rex Lapis. Therefore, I cannot create Mora." Zhongli was not angered by Hu Tao's offense. After all, he had watched her grow up, and his current expenses still depended on the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
Of course, the most important reason was that he knew exactly how much he spent each day. For the sake of his future retirement, taking a hit or two was nothing.
But seeing the murderous look in Hu Tao's eyes, Zhongli hurriedly added, "However, my recent expenses will not be charged to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. A friend will be paying the bill for me lately."
At that moment, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's doors opened again. Entering were Ningguang, the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing, and Ganyu, who had served as the Qixing's secretary for a thousand years.
"Lord..." Ningguang and the others had not even finished speaking when they saw Hu Tao holding the Staff of Homa, its other end landing squarely on their Lord's head.
Seeing this, Ningguang almost instinctively shouted, "The Lord has been attacked! Seal off the entire area!"
Before you continue