Only Two Useless Men Left

Professor McGonagall gently placed a four-legged stool before the First Years, then set a wizard's hat on top of it. The hat was shabby, patched, worn thin, and filthy.

This was the Sorting Hat?

A magical version of artificial intelligence?

Andy studied the Sorting Hat curiously.

If it had been a robot, Andy would have given it no more than a second glance.

But this was a magical hat.

Though its functions seemed somewhat similar to artificial intelligence, magic always felt more wondrous.

The hat suddenly twitched, and the folds upon it made it look as though it had gained two eyes and a mouth.

Everyone in the Great Hall stared at the hat as it began to hum and sing.

"You may think I'm not much to look at,

But never judge by appearances. If you can find a hat more beautiful than me, I'll eat myself.

Come and put me on! Do not fear! Do not panic!

In my hands—though I do not have even one—you will be perfectly safe, for I am a thinking magical hat!"

After the hat finished singing, thunderous applause erupted throughout the hall.

Everyone seemed determined to be polite. Amid the deafening applause, Andy could even hear George and Fred whistling.

I hope Professor McGonagall doesn't kill you two.

The hat bowed to each of the four tables in turn, then fell still.

"Oh—"

Andy let out a quiet cry and turned his head, only to see Hermione glaring at him furiously. She looked as though she wanted to swallow him whole.

"George and Fred said it," Andy whispered. "But I think they really did spend the night after the sorting lying down—just not in beds at the School Infirmary, but in the school dormitories."

"Hmph!" Hermione snorted, her pretty little face still puffed up with anger.

She did not believe Andy's explanation at all.

Professor McGonagall glanced at Andy. She had noticed this Little Wizard earlier.

He did not look like a well-behaved student.

Professor McGonagall sighed softly. She had a feeling that this year's House Cup was drifting farther and farther away from Gryffindor.

She had not felt much about it when she had been a student herself, but ever since becoming a professor, Professor McGonagall had felt that Gryffindor was practically a refuge for troublesome children.

Every year, the most mischievous new students would absolutely be sorted into Gryffindor.

Because of this, Professor McGonagall had been dissatisfied with the Sorting Hat for a very long time.

Not to mention that the hat sang so terribly.

Drawing back her gaze, Professor McGonagall stepped forward, holding a roll of parchment.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat, sit on the stool, and be sorted."

Professor McGonagall read from the parchment. "Hannah Abbott!"

A rosy-cheeked little girl with two golden braids stumbled out of the line. She put on the hat, which slipped down to cover her eyes.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the Sorting Hat.

The people at the far-right table applauded and cheered, while the ghost of the Fat Friar happily waved to her.

"Susan Bones!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Terry Boot!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

This time, the second table from the left broke into applause. When Terry reached the long table, several Ravenclaw students even stood up to shake his hand.

The sorting proceeded quickly. Before long, Andy heard Professor McGonagall call his name.

"Andy Collins!"

Andy tried to empty his mind and think of nothing at all—he had planned this countermeasure long ago.

Sitting on the four-legged stool, Andy placed the Sorting Hat on his head.

To be honest, Andy felt a little foolish at that moment.

"Hey! Kid, you don't look foolish at all. Let me see... You're talented, diligent, eager to learn, and passionate about magic. I know exactly where you belong."

"RAVENCLAW!"

Applause immediately rose from the Ravenclaw table. Andy let out a quiet breath, carefully removed the hat, and placed it back on the stool.

Andy did not know how the Sorting Hat worked, but there were too many things in his mind that did not belong to this era.

Unless absolutely necessary, Andy truly did not want the Sorting Hat to read his thoughts.

Fortunately, everything had gone smoothly.

In truth, Andy did not care which House he entered, since all four Houses learned the same things.

But the atmosphere of a House could sometimes affect people.

Professor McGonagall gave Andy a slightly surprised look. This mischievous Little Wizard was not a Gryffindor?

Had the Sorting Hat made a mistake?

Still, this was good. The Sorting Hat had finally done something sensible.

Sensing Professor McGonagall's gaze, Andy turned to look at her, but she continued the sorting as though nothing had happened.

That hadn't been my imagination, had it?

Andy was somewhat surprised. Could it be that Professor McGonagall had discovered his one-in-ten-thousand talent? As he walked to the Ravenclaw table, several older students warmly invited Andy to sit beside them. After thanking them, Andy picked a seat at random and sat down.

The sorting continued, and before long, it reached someone Andy knew.

"Hermione Granger!" Professor McGonagall called.

Hermione practically ran to the stool and hurriedly pulled the hat down over her head.

This sorting took a long time. Andy saw Hermione seemingly whispering something to the Sorting Hat.

After two or three minutes, the Sorting Hat shouted loudly, "RAVENCLAW!"

Pfft—

Fortunately, Andy had not been drinking anything, or he might have sprayed the person across from him in the face.

What was going on? Wasn't Hermione supposed to be in Gryffindor? How had she ended up in Ravenclaw?

For the first time, Andy clearly realized that the butterfly effect caused by his transmigration had begun.

Fortunately, none of this had anything to do with Andy.

From the very beginning of his transmigration, Andy had regarded this place as an entirely new world, not a movie he had watched in his previous life.

Since it was a new world, there naturally was no so-called plot.

As for the grudges between The Chosen One and Voldemort, that was merely someone else's story.

Andy would have his own story.

This world was vast, and even at the height of Voldemort's power, he had failed to conquer the British Ministry of Magic. This Chosen One was really not all that impressive.

Except...

The original Golden Trio had already been mocked by fans in Andy's previous life as "Hermione and her two useless men." Now that Hermione had left, only the two useless men remained.

How tragic!

Good luck to you both.

Amid applause, Hermione walked over and sat beside Andy.

Andy smiled. "Welcome to Ravenclaw!"

"Thank you!"

Hermione proudly lifted her chin. "I think you were right. A quieter environment for studying might suit me better. The Sorting Hat said both Ravenclaw and Gryffindor suited me, but I chose Ravenclaw."