Illya: You Guys Are So Lame!

Floating Cloud Temple · Night · Thunderstorm

Just as Su Mei was preparing for bed, she heard a knock at the door. Though she was very puzzled about who could possibly be visiting at this hour, she hurried over to open it. It was not as if she had even taken off her clothes.

"Senior Sister, can I sleep here with you?" The voice, clearly choked with tears, came from the Junior Disciple Brother who had joined the sect less than three years ago.

Looking at her Junior Disciple Brother, soaked through by the rain and resembling a puppy someone had abandoned by the roadside, Su Mei felt there were too many things to comment on and did not know where to begin.

"I can sleep on the floor. Is that okay, Senior Sister?" Seeing that Su Mei seemed likely to refuse, Fu Yuan looked even more frightened and hurriedly spoke in a timid voice.

"...Come in." Su Mei ultimately let him inside. This was no trivial matter. Naturally precocious, she had understood the matters between men and women earlier than most, yet seeing her pitiful Junior Disciple Brother before her, she still agreed. He's only seven years old! It's fine!

At that moment, a clap of thunder rang out. Su Mei watched as her Junior Disciple Brother, who had already made up his bedding on the floor, suddenly curled up, tears dripping from his eyes.

Su Mei did not know what she was thinking. All of a sudden, she went over and picked up her Junior Disciple Brother, who had curled himself into a ball. She then discovered that, out of fear, the Little Fellow was so timid that he did not dare move at all.

In the end, in an action she herself could scarcely believe, Su Mei held her Junior Disciple Brother in her arms and lay down on the bed, soothing him like a child.

After an unknown amount of time, Fu Yuan had fallen completely asleep, though he still trembled from time to time in response to the thunder outside the window. Su Mei suddenly sighed and did not carry him back down to the floor.

"Are we going to buy clothes?" Irisviel said with sudden excitement, as though she had spotted something.

Fu Yuan looked at the women's clothing store Irisviel was pointing at with a complicated expression. He wanted to say something, but he had not figured out who Irisviel intended to buy clothes for.

Fortunately, Little Illya was considerate enough to ask the question Fu Yuan had wanted to ask.

"Are they for Big Brother?"

Irisviel selectively ignored the question and excitedly pulled Fu Yuan forward. As for whether Little Illya would be upset, she could explain it to her later.

Fu Yuan's expression became even more complicated, yet his face showed no anger at all. Instead, he suddenly recalled that miserable period when he had lost his memories.

Hehe! Aren't you really just reminiscing?

"Kiritsugu, Madam is shopping over there. Should we call them back?" While observing the surroundings, Maiya Hisau happened to see this scene. After thinking for less than a second, she pressed the communicator.

"No need. Let Irisviel and the others have some fun!" Kiritsugu still did not know that Irisviel's problem could be resolved, so his expression was especially gentle upon hearing the news.

"B-but they went into a place that sells women's clothes!!"

"...!!! Who are they buying for?!!!"

"...From what I can tell, perhaps Saber?" Maiya Hisau spoke with great uncertainty, but she still reported what she had observed.

"?...Oh, then it's fine." For some reason, Kiritsugu Emiya fell silent upon hearing that. Only afterward did he remember that Maiya was still waiting for his answer, and he gave it with a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.

The silver-patterned blouse bore a hundred-butterfly-among-flowers design, its sleeves wider than usual and fluttering crisply in the wind. The waist was cinched tight, while below was a goose-yellow long skirt embroidered with white magnolias (?). Her hair, falling past her shoulders, was tied tightly back, accented by a slightly crimson hairpin.

Fu Yuan stared silently at himself in this outfit. He wanted to complain, yet he did not know how to begin.

As for whether it would affect combat, not really. As a Heroic Spirit, all he had to do was channel magic power and he could change into whatever outfit he wanted. Wait, something seemed wrong here.

Fu Yuan: ? If that's the case, why did we buy clothes? If I transformed them myself, wouldn't that save money?

Su Mei: Hehe!

Fu Yuan suddenly did not want to talk to his Senior Sister anymore and hung up the call. How sarcastic.

"It looks very good, A Yuan."

"Mm, Big Brother is really pretty!"

Irisviel looked with great satisfaction at the masterpiece she had spent so long picking out, becoming more pleased the longer she looked. Little Illya also gave her own opinion.

Fu Yuan looked at Illya with an extremely complicated expression. They were still in the store! So who exactly had she inherited that loud voice from?

Under the gazes of others who looked at him as though he were a pervert, Fu Yuan walked out with a helpless expression. Though he did feel that quite a few people's stares were gradually becoming somewhat heated...

As the sky gradually darkened, nothing strange happened to Fu Yuan's group after the clothing incident—if one ignored Lancer standing before them, brimming with fighting spirit.

Fu Yuan felt that his little face had grown increasingly complicated today. He had been so careful to avoid this guy, so why had they still run into him on the way home?

A high nose bridge, stern brows, and sharp facial contours; his refined lips gave him a strict, abstinent air, yet the warm melancholy in his eyes made his masculine charm especially striking. The beauty mark beneath his left eye made his gaze even more alluring.

If not for the two spears in his hands, he might have been mistaken for some celebrity appearing in public!

"So handsome!"

"?...That's Charm Magic. That's too much, Lancer!" Irisviel said angrily. Such magic was far too unfriendly toward married women, especially when she had a child beside her.

Irisviel hurriedly cast several calming spells on Little Illya, who was behaving somewhat strangely. If she had not been the vessel of the Lesser Grail, along with possessing an innate sensitivity toward magic power, she might have fallen for it herself.

"My sincerest apologies, Madam. I do not want it either," Diarmuid admitted his fault openly. After all, he did not like this curse either.

"It truly is quite rude, Radiant Visage Diarmuid." Fu Yuan was not affected at all—or rather, affected his ass!

Then Fu Yuan casually exposed the other man's True Name. It cost him nothing, and he could even earn himself a reputation for being well-read.

As for crushing his opponent's confidence, if the other man was merely at this level, then he did not deserve to be called Radiant Visage.

"Really, to disappoint the Monarch's trust the moment I appear." Diarmuid began to hate this skill of his again. It had been this very skill that had caused a rift between him and the Monarch before.

? Shouldn't you be praising me for being knowledgeable? I'm so awesome—I saw through your True Name at a glance!

"Then, Your Excellency Saber, make your move!" Diarmuid did not give Fu Yuan time to think further. Instead, he swept the spear in his hand forward, its tip aimed directly at Fu Yuan.

Fu Yuan: ? Why was there no foreplay at all?! This was... pretty sudden.

"Your fighting spirit is truly high." Seeing this, Fu Yuan knew this battle could not be avoided. Sigh, life was not easy. Fu Yuan sighed!

However, Fu Yuan was not afraid of him. His physical attributes crushed Diarmuid's, after all!

"Then let's fight!" As magic power surged, the skirt Fu Yuan wore below transformed into a pair of tight-fitting pants. At the same time, a sword appeared in each hand—though rather than swords, they looked more like two long blades.

The blades were absurdly long. Held upright, they seemed nearly taller than Fu Yuan. Yet when Fu Yuan casually swung them twice, the fierce sword aura made Diarmuid withdraw the hint of disdain from his eyes. Clearly, the blades' length did not hinder the combat ability of the little girl before him.

Then, under Diarmuid's incredulous gaze, the Saber before him inspected the two blades in her hands before throwing one of them at him...

Diarmuid suddenly became angry. What, was she looking down on him? With a sweep of his right hand, he prepared to use Red Rose to knock away the blade flying toward him.

Then, under Fu Yuan's idiot-like gaze, the impact force carried by the Peerless Swords easily smashed Red Rose back into Diarmuid himself.

Both sides had B-rank strength. One was serious but had not used his full strength, while the other was going all out. This outcome was not surprising at all!

Diarmuid: ...

"I underestimated you, Saber. But now that you have lost one sword, how will you fight me?"

Fu Yuan seriously assumed a two-handed sword stance and answered in a slightly mischievous tone, "I was never a Dual-wielding user to begin with!" (Su Mei's pair of Peerless Swords were obviously blades, just like how the Fu Hua Xuanyuan Sword turned into a pair of gauntlets after awakening. Anyway, they looked like blades to me.)

Diarmuid: ...If you aren't a Dual-wielding user, why were you holding two swords? Just to smash me with one?! Bastard!

Irisviel stared at the scene before her in slight astonishment. How should she put this? It was not quite what she had imagined. It was a little like children fighting.

"Hey, Irisviel, take Illya and move back a little." Fu Yuan looked at Diarmuid, who had finally become completely serious, and found it somewhat troublesome. Aside from endurance and magic power, her advantage was not especially obvious.

Then the battle erupted. This was no longer a battle ordinary people could participate in. Only two figures rapidly crossing paths remained in the field, along with magic power constantly spilling out.

Looking at the street already beginning to suffer devastation, Irisviel's expression turned ugly. This was simply beyond her ability to interfere with, not even a little.

"A battle long overdue! Saber, you are strong." When Diarmuid realized that he held no advantage in speed whatsoever, he suddenly sighed.

Fu Yuan merely looked at him with a smile, though that smile was somewhat strange.

Tai Xu · Crescent Moon, Tai Xu · Sky Rend

The blade in her hand then slashed down fiercely from above at an angle before smoothly sweeping upward. They were two exquisite sword techniques, but they could not end the battle in this kind of fight.

Looking at Fu Yuan's eerie expression, Diarmuid felt a chill in his heart for some reason and swiftly retreated, taking advantage of the opening.

...Sword Come! Su Mei looked doubtfully at this overly cooperative Lancer. Could he be doing this on purpose?

The other Peerless Sword, which had fallen not far away, moved as though someone were gripping it and rapidly thrust toward him, striking Lancer squarely in the chest. Unfortunately, a Heroic Spirit's weak point was not the heart.

At the very least, being struck in the heart would not make one nearly certain to die as it would an ordinary person!

Tai Xu · Fleeting Dust. Fu Yuan advanced swiftly in perfect coordination, while also feeling somewhat puzzled. Had he really seen through it? He had seriously noticed nothing at all?

But looking at Diarmuid's disbelieving expression, it did not seem to be an act. Was this the legendary Luck E?

Just as the Peerless Sword was about to slice across his neck, Diarmuid vanished with a whoosh. Fu Yuan was not surprised. The possibility of eliminating a Heroic Spirit on the first day was too low, after all.

A resounding clap of thunder came from the sky. Along with it, a chariot raced in from the distance, and standing upon it was a burly man.

"My name is King of Conquerors Iskandar. I have participated in this Holy Grail War and obtained the Rider class."

Then, before Fu Yuan's own disbelieving eyes, her entire body trembled—and she transformed again.

Illya: You All Suck!

Floating Cloud Temple · Clear Sky · (Ridiculous)

After last night's torrential rain, today was instead a clear sky. Su Mei looked at her Junior Disciple Brother, who had awakened but did not know what to do and thus continued pretending to sleep, and inexplicably felt like laughing.

"Junior Disciple Brother, if you're so afraid of thunder, how did you get through the past few years?" Su Mei directly turned Fu Yuan's little head toward her. I was not even embarrassed yet, so why were you embarrassed?

Fu Yuan's little face was bright red. Though he was only seven now, he had already been sixteen in his previous life. He understood everything he should understand. (As the Child of Purity, he understood even further than that.)

"Junior Disciple Brother~ Are you still going to pretend to sleep?" Su Mei was actually in a fairly good mood. After enduring it for three years, her Junior Disciple Brother, who could no longer stand thunder, had come to find her first.

"Mm~ Master used to hold me while I slept!" Fu Yuan said somewhat embarrassedly. After all, he considered himself a big kid already.

Su Mei's face stiffened. It's fine, it's fine. Don't get angry, don't get angry!

"Then why didn't Junior Disciple Brother go to Master yesterday?" Su Mei felt she still had quite an advantage. It had nothing to do with whether he liked her; it was merely an inexplicable desire to compete.

"Master said I had grown up and needed to learn to overcome difficulties, so he kicked me out." When Fu Yuan said this, there was some disappointment in his eyes, though he still answered softly.

Su Mei felt her expression stiffen completely. She had the feeling of picking up something someone else had discarded.

"Then why didn't Junior Disciple Brother go find Eldest Senior Sister?" Su Mei kept reassuring herself. At least I should be better than Eldest Senior Sister.

"I did, but Eldest Senior Sister wouldn't let me in." At this point, Fu Yuan's mood grew even more downcast, and his whole body seemed dejected.

"So Junior Disciple Brother came to find Senior Sister, right?" Su Mei suddenly wanted to kill her yesterday self. Why had she let this idiot in?

"Mm."

Su Mei's expression suddenly became completely calm as she quietly looked at little Fu Yuan.

"Senior Sister, can I come over again whenever there's thunder in the future?" Fu Yuan did not notice anything wrong with his Senior Sister at all. Instead, he looked at Su Mei with great anticipation.

Su Mei merely looked at him coldly. A long time passed, until the expectation in her Junior Disciple Brother's eyes slowly faded.

"I-I understand, Senior Sister."

"Hmph!...Fine."

"I understand... What did you say, Senior Sister!"

"Didn't hear me? Then forget it."

"Mm~ Senior Sister is bullying me."

Watching her Junior Disciple Brother leave in high spirits, Su Mei's gaze suddenly became profound. She stood there dazed for a long time before turning and returning to her room.

"A Junior Disciple Brother who was about to break through the Tai Xu Three Essences at seven years old!"

King of Conquerors looked at Fu Yuan, whose appearance had suddenly changed drastically. Even with his vast experience, he could not help but be stunned for a moment.

"Haha, Saber, have you decided to join under my command?" Though phrased as a question, he made it sound like a statement.

"Being too confident is not a good thing, King of Conquerors Uncle." Though she was not young either, if they really went by history, calling him Uncle was not a problem at all.

"More and more mongrels have no idea of their place! There are even mongrels who dare call themselves Kings before me." A burst of golden light flashed from a streetlamp at the roadside that had not been caught up in the destruction, followed by an exceedingly arrogant voice.

The Golden Heroic Spirit clicked his tongue in obvious displeasure, revealing his contempt for Rider.

Meanwhile, King of Conquerors Iskandar did not take the mockery to heart. He merely laughed twice before saying to the Heroic Spirit standing atop the streetlamp, "Even if you say that, I am still the universally acknowledged King of Conquerors."

Fu Yuan stood quietly before Irisviel and the others, watching the farce between them with mild amusement.

"Among all heaven and earth, there is only one hero truly worthy of being called King: me. The rest are nothing but mongrels." Archer bluntly made a declaration even more insulting than an insult.

"If so, why not first announce your name? As a King, you should not fear something so minor, should you?"

Fu Yuan watched King of Conquerors attempt to probe Archer's True Name and could not help wanting to laugh. This tactic would have worked perfectly on anyone else, but Archer was a lunatic!

Sure enough, just as Fu Yuan had expected.