Type-Moon: The Problem Child from Honkai
Chapter 9

Father Mapo?

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Do you know what difference intelligence makes, Archer? Rider, even if you dug through every scrap of his legend, could you have imagined he had an Inherent Domain? Berserker barely even used the legendary weapons you could look up. He spent all day surviving by stealing other people's Noble Phantasms.

As for personality,

Archer's childhood, adulthood, and middle age—I wouldn't even dare say they were the same person. Bastard(?). As for trump cards, Fu Yuan felt that the exposed Ea was actually not much of a threat.

Rider had a baby-faced handsome boy A in his childhood, yet the older he got, the more rugged he became. Can you believe that? A burly Rider whose greatest trump card was an Inherent Domain—can you believe that?

If you could even find Berserker's childhood, I'd call you impressive. As for the rest, there was only an honest man who directly betrayed everyone after having an affair. Now he had completely gone dark; he was twisted through and through, full of contradictions. If you could truly analyze him based on those epics, that would be amazing!

"Saber, don't underestimate the importance of intelligence!" Kiritsugu looked at Fu Yuan's unconcerned expression, his face abruptly turning stern as he seriously lectured her.

Fu Yuan: ..."Y-You're right, Master."

Kiritsugu suddenly wanted to meet Saber in her other forms. No matter what, they had to be more reliable than this!

Fu Yuan looked at Kiritsugu as though he was about to continue lecturing her and felt a headache coming on.

"Irisviel, it's getting late. We don't have much time left to play."

"Eh! Right!"

"Kiritsugu, whatever it is, we can talk about it when we get back." Irisviel pulled Little Illya toward the door. If Kiritsugu kept lecturing them, they wouldn't need to go out this morning at all.

This wasn't irresponsibility. To Heroic Spirits, such things were meaningless, because they had long since developed their own code of conduct throughout their lives. It was a set of principles built through all kinds of worldly experiences.

Even an ordinary person's principles would not change easily, much less a Heroic Spirit's! It had nothing to do with right or wrong; it was simply a matter of habit, so there was no need to rush it now.

"King, where are you going?" Tokiomi Tohsaka suddenly noticed Archer walking toward the front gate and spoke up to ask.

"Are you questioning this king?" Archer's figure froze. Then she transformed into a stream of golden light particles and appeared before Tokiomi Tohsaka, looking down at the man who was theoretically her Master with scarlet eyes.

"I wouldn't dare! I only hope that you will be careful, King. After all, the Holy Grail War has already begun." Tokiomi Tohsaka put on a deeply frightened expression and replied with utmost respect.

"When this king acts, why should she concern herself with others?" Archer felt thoroughly annoyed. Then she Spiritronized completely and vanished from the room.

At the same time, she began considering how to dispose of such a disobedient fellow.

How dare such a boring fellow question the king's actions.

In a dim hall, Kariya Matou found Sakura staring blankly into space and gently stroked her head.

"What is it, Kariya Uncle?" A hint of confusion appeared in Sakura's hollow eyes, though she did not dislike the gesture.

Kariya Matou suddenly felt miserable. He had never presented himself as a savior, because he knew he was not worthy of that title. So he had kept striving, using his life to make up for what he lacked—for the ways in which he was inferior to them.

But such heavy matters had nothing to do with today. On a whim, he simply wanted to take Sakura out to have some fun.

"Sakura, you haven't gone shopping in a long time, have you? Would you like to go out with Uncle today?"

Sakura suddenly heard words she had believed she would never hear again in this lifetime, and she looked somewhat dazed. But when she saw Kariya Uncle trying his best to smile with the half of his face that could still move, she nodded.

Looking at Sakura's hollow eyes, Kariya Matou's heart filled with sorrow again. He could not help wondering whether, if he failed to win, these seven days would be Sakura's final happy days.

So he would definitely win this time, no matter the cost. And Tokiomi Tohsaka had to die!

At the Grand Cathedral in Fuyuki City, a priest dressed with utmost severity pushed open the doors.

The old priest behind him watched his son dress impeccably even for something as simple as going out to eat, and he felt somewhat gratified. At the same time, he could not help missing his little granddaughter, who was being fostered at headquarters. After all, when people grew old, they always thought of their children.

Meanwhile, the expressionless priest Kirei Kotomine was considering whether today's mapo tofu should be super, super spicy—or super, super, super spicy.

It was one of the few things in his life that could stir his interest, and even after all this time, it remained unchanged.

In a residential house on the outskirts of Fuyuki City, a very frail young man was voicing his dissatisfaction to a burly man lying on the bed, who looked extremely robust.

"Why did you spend our last bit of money on games, Rider?!"

Waver looked at Rider, who was concentrating on his game, and suddenly lost all hope for the future.

"Haha! Money is something that will always come along. If worse comes to worst, we'll just rob another group!"

"You need to think bigger, little Master."

Rider, who had once possessed Red Beauty Boy A, said this without a care. At the same time, he used the last of his money in the game to buy a shirt online.

"What terrible luck!"

In the dark sewers, Ryunosuke Uryu, who believed he had summoned a demon, had been extremely excited lately. On the man who called himself Aosuth, he had found that long-lost sense of pleasure.

"Lord Aosuth, are we going to keep catching children to test our art?"

As he spoke, Ryunosuke Uryu finished carving his final artwork for the day while pondering the easiest way to capture fresh materials.

Caster, whom he called Lord Aosuth, wore an extremely benevolent expression, like a gentle priest.

"Of course! To summon the great Evil God, we naturally need sufficient sacrifices."

"Lord Evil God! Hahaha! I'm suddenly full of motivation again."

Wave after wave of hearty laughter rang out through the sewers, echoing without end.

Within the luxurious Presidential Suite, Kaineth frowned deeply as he looked at Lancer, who was kneeling on one knee before him.

He was not dissatisfied over yesterday's defeat. Even someone as intelligent as him had not expected such a method of attack, and Lancer had come to apologize as soon as his wounds had healed.

As for why he was in such a foul mood now—

"Sola, mind your manners!"

Seeing his fiancée fawning desperately over Lancer and tossing the battle's defeat entirely out of her mind, Kaineth felt his head ache. He was already regretting participating in this Holy Grail War.

"Can't you see Diarmuid is injured? Why do you have so little human feeling?" Sola completely ignored the fact that Lancer's wounds had already fully healed and instead turned the tables to scold him.

Only Lancer was left in an extremely awkward position. Honestly, he felt nothing for his female Master and even found her somewhat repulsive. But as a knight who maintained proper etiquette, he did not say so directly and merely did his best to keep his distance from Sola.

Mage of the Mapo Tofu?

Floating Cloud Temple

Su Mei suddenly remembered that there was still quite a lot to do at her Wu Shuang Sect. Though unwilling, she still went to greet her master.

"..." Fu Hua looked at her in silence, feeling rather helpless. Is something wrong with you?

"Xiao Yuan should also face difficulties on his own."

Su Mei:?

"What does my going south have to do with Junior Disciple Brother?" Several question marks gradually appeared over Su Mei's head.

"Oh, go ahead." Fu Hua could tell that she truly did not know Fu Yuan had gone out to gain experience, so she habitually went through the formalities. After all, many disciples already had their own sects or companions.

Su Mei walked out with a baffled expression. Then, seeing the dark clouds gathering overhead, she packed her things as usual.

Then she would go down the mountain, find Junior Disciple Brother, and return to the sect!

Today, Fu Yuan, Irisviel, and Illya had whimsically put on matching family outfits, which resulted in far more lecherous looks from the people around them than yesterday.

Fu Yuan did not particularly care, since she was already used to it.

Fu Yuan was now wondering why Kiritsugu could not come along. They already had the intelligence and had completed the reconnaissance, so was he going to do something improper? With Maiya, too? Gasp! She could not think about it anymore, she could not!

"A Yuan, what are you thinking about?" Irisviel looked at Fu Yuan, whose expression kept changing, and felt rather puzzled.

"Irisviel, don't cry! Don't cry!" Fu Yuan suddenly stood on tiptoe, put on an exceptionally gentle expression, and stroked Irisviel's head.

Irisviel:???

Illya:???

"...Haha! Where are we going to play?" Fu Yuan abruptly came back to her senses and casually withdrew her hand. What am I doing?! That was so embarrassing!

Fu Yuan felt that this Spirit Core had affected her far too much. Even her brain was no longer working properly.

Su Mei, who had already achieved results in her research:???

At noon, under Illya's lead—meaning, her running around wildly—the group gradually made their way toward Food Street.

At Fu Yuan's suggestion and with Irisviel's approval, they entered a Chinese restaurant—Authentic Sichuan Cuisine.

"What is it, A Yuan?" Irisviel saw Fu Yuan's expression suddenly turn strange and felt confused.

"Nothing. I just suddenly thought of an interesting person." Fu Yuan suddenly smiled. After all, the Mage of the Mapo Tofu meme had been quite popular in her previous life.

Illya looked at the big sister who had suddenly started "grinning foolishly," blinked, and felt that this big sister seemed rather unreliable.

"Wow! There are so many people!" However, Illya immediately tossed that thought aside. Looking at the nearly full restaurant, a worried expression appeared on her little face.

Seeing Illya so lively, Fu Yuan could not help thinking, I need to remember to buy her homework today.

Fu Yuan had to admit that the restaurant's popularity surprised her. Sichuan cuisine had changed considerably after being brought to Japan, and under normal circumstances, business could only be described as fairly good.

Fu Yuan suddenly began looking forward to lunch. As for seats, they could simply share a table with someone else.

"Excuse me, Priest, may we sit here?"

Kirei Kotomine had ordered his usual exclusive meal and walked over to his usual seat. As a regular customer here, it was his special privilege. Of course, if the restaurant was crowded, others could sit there as well.

Then he watched Saber Group, whom his teacher had specifically told him to keep an eye on yesterday, skip into the restaurant. The most absurd thing was that they were wearing matching family outfits.

Fighting was forbidden during the daytime in the Holy Grail War, so Kirei Kotomine did not pay much attention to them. He merely lowered his head and ate a little faster.

Then he felt someone sit beside him and politely ask him a question.

"Excuse me, may we sit here, Priest?"

Haven't you already sat down?! Under normal circumstances, most people would have complained about that. But he was not most people.

"Do as you please."

It could not be said that he had been born lacking normal emotions. But having remained in a state of confusion for so many years, he did not have much emotional reaction to most things.

"A Yuan!" Irisviel knew something about the intelligence. At the very least, she knew that the priest before them was a Master—and an eliminated one at that. (Don't complain, that was how it was in the original work.)

Fu Yuan had already sat down and was looking through the menu. As for Assassin, as long as it was not the old man, there was nothing to fear.

"Don't worry, Irisviel. Look, even Little Illya has sat down." As she spoke, she pointed at Illya, who was already seated across from her.

Can you compare yourself to Illya?! Irisviel forcefully suppressed the urge to complain and then sat elegantly beside Illya.

Since A Yuan was not worried, that meant there was no problem. Besides, what could a Master without a Heroic Spirit do?

"Sorry for disturbing you, Priest."

Kirei Kotomine did not actually want to answer such a meaningless topic. But because he wanted to pretend to be normal, he had no choice but to respond to such meaningless conversation.

"It's fine." Kirei Kotomine's desire to find the meaning of his existence grew a little stronger.

Irisviel and Illya had already ordered their meals. Then they watched Fu Yuan, who was still hesitating, waiting for her to make her choice so they could order together.

Fu Yuan hesitated for a brief moment. Finally, she poked Kirei Kotomine beside her and spoke rather awkwardly.

"Um, Mapo To—Priest, where on the menu is that mapo tofu flavor you're having? I'd like a serving too."

Because Fu Yuan often ate with Durandal, her tastes had become much heavier, and she had grown less fond of bland food. It could not be helped. During the time when you had amnesia, if someone you got along extremely well with had certain eating habits, they really could rub off on you.

Although Kirei Kotomine was somewhat surprised that someone actually shared his tastes, he still kindly warned her, "My tastes are rather strong. Ordinary people might not be able to eat this."

Fu Yuan blinked. Then she picked up a spoon from the side, naturally scooped a spoonful from his bowl, ignored his stunned expression, and put it straight into her mouth.

"Mmm! This is the flavor!" After eating it, she nodded excitedly.

Irisviel, seated nearby, really wanted to turn her head and say that she did not know this person.

This was far too embarrassing!

For once, Kirei Kotomine experienced a major emotional fluctuation. He truly had not expected this. How should I put it? This was rather sudden.

Yet maintaining his usual code of conduct, Kirei Kotomine still responded politely, "I'm glad you like it, but I hope you won't be so sudden next time."

Seeing that Fu Yuan seemed to want to say something more, Irisviel hurriedly called over a waiter and ordered her own dishes.

End of Chapter
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