My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected / My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

Hachiman Hikigaya

August 8th (Because my birthday fell during summer vacation, I never had friends celebrate it with me. I had been cursed before, though.)

Riddles, brain teasers, things I could do alone, and talking to myself.

Reading.

Holiday activities

Lazily reading, lazily watching TV, sleeping in.

Shizuka Hiratsuka

Shizuka Hiratsuka

Classified. (Don't ask girls questions like that.)

Martial arts.

Going for drives, going for bike rides, reading (manga and Harlequin Romance Novels).

Holiday activities

Drinking until dawn, sleeping until noon, waking up and drinking again, then going back to sleep.

Graduation Development Survey

Sobu High School Class 2-F

Yuihama Yui

Student Number 33 Male · ○ Female

Please write down your guiding principle.

Getting along with everyone.

What dream would you write in the graduation yearbook?

I'd write, "May our friendship last forever"!

What efforts are you currently making for your future?

State my opinions honestly!

Teacher's comments:

Your guiding principle is as vague as the "Tactics" menu in Dragon Quest.

Personally, I think the "Charge Forward" style suits you better. Also, girls really do write dreams like that.

By the way, after graduating, I never saw any of the girls who wrote that kind of dream again. Anyway, do your best.

Volume One, Chapter Four: Even So, the Class Still Got Along Well

The bell announcing the end of fourth period rang, and the mood in the classroom immediately relaxed. Some students rushed toward the cafeteria, some moved desks together to eat their lunches, and others headed for different classrooms.

During lunch break today, Class 2-F was as lively as ever.

But on rainy days like this, I had nowhere to go. Normally, I had my own personal place to eat, but I had no intention of eating in the rain.

With no other choice, I sat alone in the classroom and nibbled on convenience store bread.

During lunch on rainy days, I usually passed the time reading novels or manga. Unfortunately, the book I had been reading yesterday was still in the clubroom. I should have gone to get it during one of the ten-minute breaks.

But that was hindsight. In English, they said "horse behind cannon"... no, that would turn it into "a horse behind a cannon," wouldn't it?

I had enough free time to make a joke and then immediately roast myself for it.

I had always felt that when someone spent too much time alone, they started showing signs of being self-contained.

I started talking to myself at home, even singing loudly by myself. Then my sister would come home right in the middle of something like, "MOTTO! MOT... welcome home," which was always awkward.

Of course, I didn't sing in the classroom. Instead, I thought about all sorts of things.

In other words, lonely people were actually very good at thinking. As Man is a thinking reed, the famous saying of the seventeenth-century thinker Pascal, put it, we were constantly thinking. Lonely people did not need to share their thoughts with anyone, so they could think more deeply. That was why we lonely people possessed ways of thinking different from ordinary people's, and sometimes came up with ideas beyond the common man's reach.

It was difficult to convey vast amounts of information through something as limited as conversation. Like uploading or sending a large file on a computer, it took a lot of time. That was all there was to it: lonely people were generally bad at conversation.

I didn't think that was a bad thing. A computer was not only for sending emails; it could browse the internet, edit images, and do plenty of other things. In other words, don't judge a person by a single standard of value.

Although I had compared it to computers, that did not mean I knew much about them. The people who actually knew about that stuff were the group gathered at the front of the classroom.

I meant the group using PSPs to hunt together online. Their names were something like Oda and Tahara, right?

"Whoa, you're using a hammer?"

"One gunlance and it's a slaughterfest!"

They seemed to be having fun.

I played that game too. Honestly, I wanted to join them.

Manga, anime, and video games used to be the domain of lonely people, but lately they had become social tools. To interact with people like them, you needed a certain amount of communication skill.

The sad thing was, with my half-baked looks, even if I joined them, they would probably talk behind my back and call me a trend-chaser or a fake otaku. What was I supposed to do about that?

Back in middle school, I once saw a group discussing anime and wanted to join them. The moment I approached, they fell silent, and it hurt quite a bit... After that, I gave up on trying to join their circle.

Ever since I was little, I had never been the kind of kid who said, "I want to play too," so it was even harder for me to fit in with others. Whenever the class played kickball, there was a rule where the two central boys played rock-paper-scissors, and the winner got to pick teammates first. Right. I was always picked last. For a ten-year-old boy eagerly wondering, "When will they pick me?" that was just too cruel. Even now, remembering it made me want to cry.

Because of that, even though I had originally been fairly good at sports, I gradually became bad at them. I liked baseball, but there was no one to play with, so young me could only throw balls against a wall, practice fielding, and even imagine invisible runners and defensive formations while playing Solo Baseball.

On the other hand, this class also had people with flexible social skills, such as the group at the back of the classroom. There were two boys each from the Soccer Club and Basketball Club, plus three girls. They gave off such a glamorous air that anyone could tell at a glance they were the upper class of the classroom. Incidentally, Yuihama belonged to that group too.

Two of them shone especially brightly.

—Hayama Hayato.

He was the center of that group, the ace of the Soccer Club and a candidate for its next captain. Looking at that guy for too long made me uncomfortable.

Basically, he was just a handsome pretty boy. What an outrageous existence!

"Come on, not today. I've got club activities."

"Missing one day won't kill you, right? Baskin-Robbins has a two-scoop special today! I want chocolate and cocoa flavors."

"Those are both chocolate flavors, though."

"Ehh? They're totally different, okay? And I'm starving."

Hayama's friend—Miura Yumiko—protested loudly.

She had long, wavy blonde hair. Her uniform top was worn so loosely that her shoulders were exposed, making me want to ask, "Are you an oiran?" Her skirt was also so short that it had practically lost any purpose as clothing.

Miura was pretty and had well-defined features, but her gaudy appearance and airheaded behavior made me dislike her. More accurately, I was afraid of her. I had no idea what she might say to me.

But Miura did not seem scary to Hayama. From what I had observed, he probably considered her easy to talk to. That was why I didn't understand what upper-class boys were thinking. That girl was clearly so enthusiastic only because she was talking to Hayama. If it had been me, she probably would have just snorted at me and dismissed me.

Whatever. I had nothing to do with her, so there was no need for us to talk.

Hayama and Miura continued chatting enthusiastically.

"Sorry, I can't go today."

Hayama restated his conclusion, and Miura looked disappointed.

Then Hayama flashed an incomparably brilliant smile and loudly declared:

"This year, we're seriously aiming for National Stadium."

What? National Stadium? He meant National Stadium, not Kunitachi City, Tokyo, which you could reach via the Chuo Line?

"Pfft..."

I almost laughed.

Hayama had actually put on the face of someone delivering a cool line. No. I would never, ever forgive him for that.

"Also, Yumiko, you'll regret it if you eat too much."

"I won't gain weight no matter how much I eat. Ahh, I want ice cream today! Right, Yui?"

"Mm, yeah, yeah. Yumiko has a great figure! But I have something to do today..."

"Exactly. Today, we're definitely eating a lot."

After Miura said that, the others laughed along. It sounded like canned laughter from a variety show. It was so loud I could practically see subtitles.

I wasn't trying to listen in. They were just talking so loudly that it was impossible not to hear them. Or rather, both the otaku at the front and the normies at the back were loud. I sat firmly in the middle of the classroom, surrounded by no one, yet it was unbearably noisy—like sitting in the eye of a typhoon.

Hayama, the central figure, gave his universally beloved smile and said:

"Don't eat so much that you upset your stomach."

"I told you already~~ I'm not afraid of eating too much, and I won't get fat. Right, Yui?"

"Mm, Yumiko really does have an amazing figure, and her legs are pretty too. But today I..."

"Ehh, really? That girl Yukino is even hotter, isn't she?"

"Ah, true. Yukino is seriously gorgeous—"

"..."

"...Ah! No, I mean, I think Yumiko is more glamorous than her!"

When Yuihama saw Miura suddenly fall silent and her eyebrows twitch slightly, she hurriedly added that. How should I put it? It looked exactly like The Queen and her maidservant. Unfortunately, the maidservant's praise was not enough to salvage The Queen's mood. Miura merely narrowed her eyes unhappily.

"Fine. If you can wait until my club activities are over, I'll go with you."

Hayama also noticed that something was off and made the suggestion in a deliberately casual tone. Only then did The Queen recover her mood and happily answer, "Okay, send me a text then!" Yuihama, who had shrunk off to the side, also relaxed.

Hey, hey, hey. Isn't that way too exhausting? Was this feudal society? If being a normie meant worrying that much about everyone else's expressions, I would rather be lonely for the rest of my life.

At that moment, Yuihama raised her head and met my eyes. She looked at me, then took a deep breath as though making up her mind and said:

"Um... I'm going somewhere at lunch..."

"Oh, is that so? Then buy me a bottle of lemon tea on your way back. I forgot to bring a drink today, and I'm eating bread for lunch. I can't eat it without tea."

"Huh? B-but, by the time I get back, fifth period might have already started... Or rather, I'll be gone all lunch, so that might be a little..."

As Yuihama said that, Miura's expression instantly stiffened, as though she had been bitten on the hand by her own dog. Yuihama, who had never defied her before, was saying no today.

"Huh? Wait, what's with you? Yui, didn't you say something similar last time and then leave as soon as school ended? You've been pretty busy lately!"

"Uh... how should I put this... I have some personal business. I really can't help it. I'm really sorry..."

Yuihama stumbled over her words. Were you an office worker apologizing to your boss?

But those words had the opposite effect. Miura lost patience and slammed her hand down on the desk.

The Queen's sudden outburst silenced the classroom. Even Oda or Tahara at the front quickly lowered their game volume, while Hayama and the others awkwardly lowered their gazes to the floor.

The only sound left in the classroom was Miura's long fingers tapping against the desk.

"How am I supposed to understand you when you talk like that? Say what you mean clearly! Aren't we friends? Are you hiding something? That's not good, is it?"

Yuihama lowered her head sadly.

Miura made it sound nice on the surface, but she was merely forcing a sense of comradeship onto others. What she meant was, "We're friends, we're companions, so we can do anything and say anything." The implication behind that was, "If you can't, then you're not one of us. You're an enemy." It was practically an inquisition meant to purge heretics.

"I'm sorry..."

Yuihama lowered her head and apologized timidly.

"I'm saying! I don't want to hear an apology. You have something else you want to say, don't you?"

After being told that, who would dare say anything? This was no longer a conversation or a question. It was just one-sidedly forcing the other person to apologize and attacking them.

How stupid. You people should hurry up and fall out with each other.

I turned back around, fiddled with my phone, and put another piece of bread into my mouth. After chewing a few times, I swallowed. But aside from the bread, something else seemed to be lodged in my throat.