Our conversations were neither stylish nor cool, just full of hopeless topics.
Even I thought they were stupid, completely meaningless.
Still, at least PE was no longer "the worst time of the day."
Something like that.
Graduation Development Survey
Sobu High School, Year 2 Class C
Zaimokuza Yoshiteru
Seat No. 12 ○ Male/Female
Please write down your creed.
Ever upon the battlefield, I am the blade.
What dream did you write in your graduation album?
Elementary School → Manga Artist
Middle School → Writer
What efforts are you currently making for the future?
In preparation for the coming battle, I always wear one-kilogram Power Bracers on my arms.
Teacher's Comments:
Who exactly are you fighting? Also, even if you take those bracers off, the power sealed within your body will not grow stronger.
Did your dream change from manga artist to novelist because you cannot draw?
Volume One, Chapter Six: Unfortunately, Totsuka Saika Was a Boy with a Dick
My little sister Komachi held a slice of toast slathered in jam in one hand while burying her face in a fashion magazine. I sat beside her, watching her as I sipped my morning black coffee.
The magazine article was packed with infuriating phrases like "Operation: Find Love" and "Super Eye-Catching," displaying an intelligence level so low that I nearly let coffee dribble from the corner of my mouth in rage.
Hey, seriously? Was Japan going to be okay like this? Converted into a deviation score, this article would probably get a twenty-five! Yet my sister kept nodding along. What exactly were you relating to? Apparently, this fashion magazine called Seishun Tengoku was hugely popular among middle school girls. Everyone had a copy, and girls who did not read it apparently got bullied.
Komachi made impressed little "Ooh~" noises as she read, dropping bread crumbs onto the magazine. Were you reenacting Hansel and Gretel by yourself?
It was currently 7:45 in the morning.
"Hey, you're going to be late."
I nudged my sister's shoulder with my elbow to remind her it was time to leave. Only then did Komachi suddenly look up at the clock.
"Wah! Oh no~~"
Komachi hurriedly shut the magazine and stood up.
"Wait—wipe the corner of your mouth."
"Huh? Really? Jam?"
"Is your mouth an assault rifle? That is not what getting jammed means."
Crying out in panic, she wiped the jam from the corner of her mouth with the sleeve of her pajamas. My sister was really bold.
"Also, Big Brother, Komachi often doesn't understand what you're talking about."
"That's your problem!"
Komachi ignored me and hurriedly changed into her uniform. Beneath her pajamas was smooth, snow-white skin, a sports bra, and white panties.
Do not change clothes here.
Little sisters were strange creatures. No matter how cute they were, they did not stir any special feelings in you, and their underwear was nothing more than ordinary fabric. They were cute, sure, but all you could think was, "Of course she is cute. She looks like me." That was what a real little sister was like.
As I watched Komachi from the corner of my eye put on her boring uniform—a knee-length skirt and folded socks, with her panties occasionally visible—I reached for the sugar and milk.
Komachi had been drinking milk a lot lately, apparently hoping to make her chest more impressive. But that did not matter at all. Still, if I deliberately put quotation marks around "milk my little sister drank," it took on an unethical erotic undertone. But that did not matter at all, either.
I picked up the sugar and milk not because it was "milk my little sister drank," but simply because I wanted to add them to my coffee.
I was a born-and-raised Chiba native. My first bath after birth had been in MAX Coffee, and I had practically grown up drinking MAX Coffee instead of breast milk. To me, coffee had to be sweet. Even better if it had condensed milk in it.
I could drink black coffee too, but...
"...Life is painful enough, so coffee should at least be sweet."
It would not have been strange at all if MAX Coffee had used that line as an advertising slogan. Muttering to myself, I drained the sweet coffee in one gulp.
That had been a good line. That company should seriously consider it.
"Big Brother! Komachi is ready!"
"Big Brother is still drinking coffee..."
I imitated the reruns of Kita no Kunikara badly, but Komachi naturally did not notice. She happily sang, "I'm gonna be late♪ I'm gonna be late♪" and I honestly could not tell whether she really wanted to be late.
A few months ago, my idiot sister had overslept terribly and nearly been late, so I gave her a ride to school on my bicycle.
After that, I started doing it more and more often.
There was nothing less trustworthy than a girl's tears. Komachi especially possessed the unique skills of a little sister and knew exactly how to take advantage of her big brother. She was truly wicked. Thanks to her, my view of the opposite sex had been rewritten as "women = people who exploit men like my little sister does."
"It's all your fault that I have trust issues with women. What am I supposed to do when I get old if I cannot get married?"
"Komachi will figure something out for you!"
Komachi said that with a smile. I had always seen her as a child, but there was a mature charm in her expression now, and I could feel my heart beginning to race.
"I'll work hard, make lots of money, and send you to a nursing home."
No, rather than mature charm, it was more like a mature opinion.
"...You really are my little sister."
I could not help sighing.
I finished my coffee in one go and stood up, while Komachi pushed me from behind and said:
"It's all because Big Brother is so slow! It's already this late! Komachi is going to be late~~"
"You little brat..."
If she were not my sister, I would have kicked her into the air long ago. Most families favored sons over daughters, but ours was the complete opposite. Dad's doting on his daughter was beyond extraordinary. His famous saying was, "Any man who gets close to Komachi, I'll kill him—even if he's her brother." Even I was intimidated by that. If I dared kick my sister, Dad would definitely throw me out of the house.
Anyway, not only was I at the very bottom of the school hierarchy, I also had the least status at home.
I walked out the front door and got on my bicycle. Komachi climbed onto the back seat and wrapped both arms tightly around my waist.
"Let's go!"
"You are not even going to say thank you?"
Traffic law prohibited carrying two people on a bicycle, but considering my sister's brain was not much different from a toddler's, please forgive me.
The bicycle rolled lightly forward, and Komachi said to me:
"Don't crash again this time, okay? Komachi is on the bike too today."
"So it would be fine if I crashed by myself...?"
"No, no. It's because Big Brother often has those dead fish eyes, like he's spacing out, so your little sister worries about you. This is sisterly love!"
Komachi pressed her face against my back and rubbed against it. If she had not said that last part, it might have seemed kind of cute. As it was, though, she only seemed crafty.
Still, I did not want my family worrying about me too much.
"...Yeah, I'll be careful."
"Especially when you're carrying Komachi, be extra careful."
"You brat, want me to deliberately ride over some bumpy ground?"
That was what I said, but I did not want a repeat of last time, when I had actually done it and she kept whining from the back seat that her butt hurt and that her virginity was in danger. So I chose the smoothest road. It was all because she said those things that the neighbors gave me cold looks...
No matter what, safety came first when riding a bicycle.
I got into a traffic accident on my first day of high school. I had been so excited for the entrance ceremony and my new life that I left home an hour early, only to end up having terrible luck instead.
It had been a little after seven. A girl walking her dog near the high school had not held the leash tightly enough, and at the same time, a sedan that looked like it belonged to some rich family came driving by. By the time I realized what was happening, I had already stomped on the pedals and shot forward.
In the end, I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance and spent three weeks lying in a hospital bed. That single moment doomed me to enter school without making any friends.
My shiny brand-new bicycle was almost completely wrecked, and my golden left leg had shattered in a fracture.
If I had played soccer, the future of Japanese soccer would have been cast under a dark shadow. Thankfully, I did not play soccer. Fortunately, my injuries had not been too serious.
The sad part was that only my family came to visit me.
My family came once every three days. Could you please come every day?
Later, they even used their hospital visits as an excuse to go out for fancy meals. Every time they told me about the sushi or yakiniku they had eaten, I felt an urge to break my sister's pinky finger.
"But Big Brother recovered really quickly, so that's great. It must be because that plaster worked. Plaster really is useful for bruises."
"Idiot, you mean ointment, right? And I didn't get bruised—I fractured a bone!"
"Big Brother is saying things nobody understands again."
"I told you! That's your problem!"
But Komachi ignored me and changed the subject on her own.
"Come to think of it—"
"Huh? Isseifuki Sepia? That reference is way too old."
"Big Brother, I said 'come to think of it.' Your hearing is awful."
"You're the one who can't pronounce things clearly..."
"Come to think of it, after you got into that accident, the dog's owner came to our house to thank you."
"I had no idea..."
"Because you were always asleep. She brought us snacks too. They were really good."
"Hey, I never got to eat those snacks, did I? Why did you eat them all by yourself?"
I turned around and saw Komachi grinning sheepishly. I could even imagine her making a little "Hehe☆" sound. This brat was seriously irritating...
"But you go to the same school, so you must have met her before, right? She said she would thank you at school."
Screech—I abruptly braked the bicycle. Komachi let out a pained "Auh!" and slammed her face into my back. "What are you doing?!"
"...Why didn't you tell me sooner? Did you ask her name?"
"Huh? I think it was... 'the person who brought snacks'?"
"This isn't a seasonal gift. Don't talk about her like she's 'the person who brings ham.' What was her name?"
"Hmm~ I forgot~ Ah, we're at school. Komachi's going on ahead."
Komachi lightly jumped off the bicycle and ran toward the school gate.
"That brat..."
I glared at Komachi's retreating figure. Before entering the school building, she deliberately turned around and gave me a salute.
"Komachi is off to school! Thanks, Big Brother~~"
Komachi waved goodbye with a bright smile, making me involuntarily think she looked a little cute like that. I waved back at her, and she immediately added, "Watch out for cars!"
I let out a helpless little sigh, turned my bicycle around, and headed toward my own school.
Apparently, the owner of that little dog attended that school too.
It was not like I was specifically looking for her. I was just a little curious.
Still, if I had not seen her even once in over a year since entering school, that probably meant she had no intention of meeting me, right? Oh well. I had only gotten injured and fractured a bone while saving her dog. The fact that she had come to thank me at my house was already enough.
I suddenly looked into my bicycle basket and saw a black school bag that was not mine.
"...That idiot."
I turned around again and raced back. Before long, I saw Komachi running toward me with a tearful face.
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