My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

Our conversations were neither fashionable nor cool; they were filled with hopelessly irredeemable topics.

Even I found them stupid, utterly meaningless.

But at least gym class was no longer "hated time."

Or something like that.

Graduation Development Survey

Sobu High School, 2nd Year Class C

Zaimokuza Yoshiteru

Student Number: 12 ○ Male · Female

Please write your beliefs.

"Always on the battlefield, I am the sharpest blade."

What dreams did you write in your yearbook?

Elementary School → Manga Artist

Middle School → Writer

What efforts are you making now for the future?

For the upcoming battle, I always wear a one-kilogram power bracer on my arm.

Teacher's Advice:

Who are you fighting? Also, even if you remove the bracer, the power contained within you will not increase.

Did your dream change from manga artist to novelist because you can't draw?

Volume 1, Chapter 6: It's a Shame Totsuka Saika is Actually a Boy

My sister Komachi, holding toast smeared with jam, was buried in a fashion magazine. I sat beside her, sipping my morning black coffee.

The magazine articles were filled with infuriating words like "Love Attack Operation" and "Super Eye-Catching," clearly demonstrating their low intelligence. I was so angry I almost spat coffee out.

"Hey, seriously? Is this how Japan is going to be? This report would probably only have a deviation value of twenty-five! Yet, my sister is nodding frequently. What resonates with you? I heard this fashion magazine called Seishun Tengoku is incredibly popular among middle school girls right now, practically everyone has one. Those who don't read it apparently get bullied."

Komachi let out an "Ooh~" of admiration while reading, dropping breadcrumbs onto the magazine. "Are you performing Hansel and Gretel by yourself?"

The time is now 7:45 AM.

"Hey, you're going to be late."

I nudged my sister's shoulder with my elbow, reminding her it was time to leave. Only then did Komachi suddenly look up at the clock.

"Whoa! Oops~~"

Komachi quickly closed the magazine and stood up.

"W-Wait, wipe the corner of your mouth."

"Huh? Really? Jam?"

"Is your mouth an automatic rifle? That's not how you talk about getting jam on your mouth."

She wiped the jam from the corner of her mouth with her pajama sleeve, exclaiming "Oops!" My sister is truly uninhibited.

"Also, big brother, Komachi often doesn't understand what you say."

"That's you!"

Komachi ignored my words and frantically changed into her uniform. As she took off her pajamas, her smooth, fair skin was revealed, along with her sports bra and white panties.

Don't change clothes here.

Sisters are a peculiar existence. No matter how cute they are, they don't evoke any special feelings. Their underwear is just ordinary fabric. While such a person is cute, it only makes you think, "It must be because she's so much like me." That's what a real sister is like.

As I caught a glimpse of Komachi putting on her uninteresting uniform, her knee-length skirt, and tri-fold socks, occasionally revealing her underwear, out of the corner of my eye, I brought over the sugar and milk.

Komachi has been drinking a lot of milk lately, seemingly wanting to enhance her chest. But that's not important at all. However, deliberately putting "sister's milk" in quotation marks gives it a morally questionable erotic feel. But that's not important at all.

I picked up the sugar and milk, not because it was "sister's milk," but simply to add to my coffee.

I'm a true Chiba native. I had my first bath with MAX Coffee when I was born, and I grew up practically on MAX Coffee instead of breast milk. For me, coffee has to be sweet; adding condensed milk would be even better.

Although I can drink black coffee, but...

"...Life is so painful, so coffee should at least be sweet. J"

That line wouldn't be out of place as an advertising slogan for MAX Coffee. I muttered to myself and downed the sweet coffee.

That last sentence was really good; that company should seriously consider it.

"Brother! Komachi is ready!"

"Brother's still drinking coffee..."

I imitated the rebroadcast of "Kita no Kunikara" on TV somewhat poorly. Komachi, of course, didn't notice and happily sang, "Gonna be late ♪ Gonna be late ♪" I couldn't tell if she genuinely wanted to be late.

About a few months ago, my foolish sister overslept completely and was almost late, so I took her to school on my bicycle.

After that, I started doing it more and more often.

Tears from girls are the most untrustworthy things. Komachi, in particular, possesses a unique skill as a sister: she's exceptionally good at using her brother and is truly wicked. Thanks to her, my perception of the opposite sex has been rewritten to "Women = people who use men like my sister does."

"You're the reason I'm distrustful of the opposite sex. What am I supposed to do when I'm old if I can't get married because of you?"

"Komachi will figure something out for you!"

Komachi smiled at me. I used to see her as just a child, but her expression now held a mature charm, and I felt my heart start to race.

"I'll work hard and earn money to send you to a nursing home."

No, rather than a mature charm, it was a mature opinion.

"...Just like my sister."

I couldn't help but sigh.

I chugged my coffee and stood up. Komachi pushed me from behind, saying:

"It's all big brother's fault for being so slow! It's so late already! Komachi's going to be late~~"

"You little brat..."

If she weren't my sister, I would have kicked her away long ago. Most families are patriarchal, but ours is the opposite. My father dotes on his daughter to an extreme. His catchphrase is, "Anyone who dares to go near Komachi, even if it's her brother, I'll kill them." It even scared me. If I dared to kick my sister, I'd be kicked out of the house by my father.

In short, not only was I at the bottom of the social ladder at school, but I also had the least status at home.

I walked out the entrance and got on my bicycle. Komachi hopped on the back seat, wrapping her arms tightly around my waist.

"Let's go!"

"You don't even say thank you."

Riding a bicycle with two people is against traffic laws, but considering my sister's brain is no different from a toddler's, I'll forgive myself.

The bicycle moved forward briskly, and Komachi said to me:

"Don't crash again this time, okay? Komachi's on board today."

"Does it not matter if I crash by myself...?"

"No, no. It's because Gege always has this dead fish eye look, like you're spacing out, and it makes your sister worried. This is sisterly love!"

Komachi nuzzled her face against my back. If she hadn't said that last part, it might have felt cute, but now I just saw her as a mischievous imp.

However, I didn't want to worry my family either.

"...Yes, I'll be careful."

"Especially be careful when you're carrying Komachi."

"You little brat, should I deliberately ride over bumpy roads?"

Even though I said that, I didn't want to actually do it like last time, which resulted in her complaining the whole way home about her butt hurting and her virginity being at risk, so I chose the smoother path. It was all because of her words that the neighbors gave me cold shoulders...

Regardless, safety first when riding.

I had a traffic accident on my first day of high school. Because I was so excited about the opening ceremony and my new life, I left an hour early, which ironically led to my misfortune.

It was a little past seven. A girl walking her dog near the high school didn't hold the leash tightly, and coincidentally, a car that looked like it belonged to a wealthy family was approaching. By the time I came to my senses, I had already slammed on the pedals and was speeding out.

As a result, I was taken to the hospital by ambulance and ended up bedridden for three weeks. It was that moment that sealed my fate of not making any friends after enrolling.

My shiny new bicycle was almost completely destroyed, and my golden left leg was shattered and broken.

If I could play soccer, the future of Japanese soccer would be cast in shadow, but luckily, I can't play soccer. Fortunately, my injuries weren't too severe.

What was sad was that only my family visited me.

My family visited every three days. Can you please visit every day?

Later, they even took the opportunity to have a big meal outside when they came to visit. Every time they told me they had sushi or yakiniku, I felt an urge to break my sister's little finger.

"But big brother is recovering so quickly. That's great. It must be because that plaster cast was effective. Plaster casts are indeed very useful for bumps."

"Idiot, you mean 'ointment,' right? And I didn't bump myself, I broke a bone!"

"Big brother is saying things no one understands again."

"I told you! That's your problem!"

But Komachi ignored me and changed the subject.

"Speaking of which--"

"Huh? Isseifuki Sepia? That's too old a reference."

"Big brother, I said 'Speaking of which.' Your hearing is terrible."

"It's your enunciation..."

"Speaking of which, after your car accident, the dog's owner came to our house to thank us."

"I had no idea..."

"Because you were sleeping the whole time. She even brought us some snacks, they were delicious."

"Hey, I didn't even get to taste those snacks, did I? Why did you eat them all yourself?"

I turned my head and saw Komachi giving an embarrassed giggle, I could even imagine her making a "Hehe☆" sound. This girl really knows how to make me angry...

"But you go to the same school, so you must have met before, right? She said she'd thank you at school."

Screech I couldn't help but slam on the brakes, and Komachi let out a pained "Awoo!" as her entire face slammed into my back. "What are you doing?!"

"...Why didn't you tell me sooner? Did you ask for her name?"

"Huh? I think she said... 'the one who brought the snacks'?"

"It's not Obon, so don't talk about her like she's 'the one who brings the hams.' What's her name?" (In Marudai Foods' ham commercials, the person who brings ham every Obon is commonly referred to as "the one who brings the ham.")

"Hmm~ I forgot~ Ah, we're here at school, Komachi's heading off now."

Komachi lightly hopped off the bicycle and ran towards the school gate.

"That brat..."

I glared at Komachi's receding figure. Before she entered the school building, she specifically turned around and saluted me.

"Komachi's going to school! Thanks, Onii-chan~~"

Komachi waved goodbye with a beaming smile, making me feel she was a little cute like that. After I waved back, she immediately added, "Be careful with your bike!"

I let out a helpless sigh and turned the bicycle around, heading towards my own school.

They say the owner of that little dog also goes to that school.

I wasn't intentionally looking for her, I was just a little curious.

But if we haven't met after more than a year of being enrolled, it probably means she's not interested. Oh well, it's good enough that she came to my house to thank me for saving her dog and breaking my bones.

I suddenly looked at the bicycle basket, where a black school bag that wasn't mine sat.

"...That idiot."

I turned the bike around again and sped off. In no time, I saw Komachi running towards me with a tear-streaked face.

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