My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

"Hachiman-san, I have something I'd like to discuss with you..."

Totsuka's tone was quite serious.

I see, if we're going to discuss secrets, we need to be close, which is why he's sitting so close to me.

"Something you want to discuss?"

"Yes, it's about our Tennis Club. We're really weak, aren't we? And we don't have many members. After the third-years leave the club following this National Tournament, we'll become even weaker. Most of our first-year members only started playing tennis in high school, and many of them aren't used to it yet... We're so weak, we can't even boost morale. And with so few members, everyone naturally gets to be a regular player."

"I see."

Totsuka was right; weak clubs often face these kinds of problems.

It's hard for weak clubs to recruit new members, and in clubs with few people, there's no competition for regular player spots.

Even if you take leave or are absent, you can still participate in the National Tournament. As long as you compete, you'll feel like you're part of the club, and even if you lose, you'll be satisfied. There are definitely quite a few people like that.

People like that will never get stronger, and if the club doesn't get stronger, it can't recruit new members, thus creating a vicious cycle that continues indefinitely.

"I was wondering... if it's convenient for you, Hachiman-san, could you join the Tennis Club?"

"...What?"

Why did it turn out like this?

I asked with my eyes, and Totsuka, with his knees hugged to his chest, hunched over and kept throwing me pleading glances.

"Because you're good at tennis, and I feel like you'll keep improving. That way, you can give everyone a little jolt. Also... if you were here, I think I could keep pushing myself. I, I don't mean anything strange by it! I, I just want to get better at tennis."

"It's okay to be delicate... I'll protect you."

"...Huh?"

"Ah! Sorry, I misspoke."

Totsuka was just too endearing; for a moment, I really said the wrong thing. No, no, he's too cute, I almost agreed to join the club without a second thought. It was like raising my hand at super speed to sign up for the extra pudding at lunch.

However, no matter how cute Totsuka was, I couldn't accept his request.

"...Sorry, I can't."

I know my own personality very well.

I don't understand the meaning of participating in club activities every day, nor do I really understand the habit of exercising early in the morning. Only old men doing tai chi in the park would do that kind of thing. My motto is to imitate Koro (the samurai robot from the manga Kiteretsu Encyclopedia) saying, "I can't keep it up~," so I'd definitely quit later. When I tried my first part-time job, I quit after three days.

If I joined the Tennis Club, I would definitely end up disappointing Totsuka.

"...I see."

Totsuka seemed genuinely disappointed. I thought about what words of encouragement I could offer him.

"However, I'll think of other ways to help."

Although I couldn't help with anything.

"Thank you. After discussing it with you, Hachiman-san, I feel a little better."

Even though Totsuka smiled at me, I knew it was just temporary comfort. However, if Totsuka genuinely felt a little happier, that would be enough.

× × ×

"Impossible."

Yukino said that right off the bat.

"How can you say that, you--"

"Impossible is impossible."

She refused with an even colder tone.

I had taken what Totsuka discussed with me and turned to discuss it with Yukino, and that's where things began.

If things had gone smoothly, I could have legitimately quit the Service Club, pretended to transfer to the Tennis Club, and then quietly faded away. However, Yukino flatly denied my plan.

"But I think Totsuka's idea of asking me to join is valid. As long as it can pose a threat to the Tennis Club members. A new member joining is like a shot of adrenaline; they should change, right?"

"Do you think you can integrate into group activities? A creature like you would never be accepted."

"Mmm..."

Indeed, it was impossible, and that would also be a reason for me to quit. Seeing others happily enjoying club activities, I might end up hitting them with my racket.

"Hoo~"

Yukino let out a laugh that sounded like a sigh.

"You're an expert in loneliness; you have no understanding of group psychology."

"That's rich coming from you."

She ignored my rebuttal completely and continued.

"They might unite with you as a common enemy. But that would only be to eliminate the enemy, not to improve themselves, so the problem would still remain unsolved. This is from my personal experience."

"I see... Huh, your personal experience?"

"That's right. I returned to Japan from abroad to attend junior high school as a transfer student. At the time, the girls in my class—no, all the girls in the school wished they could get rid of me. Yet, not a single one of them worked to surpass me... What pathetic losers..."

Her back seemed to ignite with a black flame.

Oh no, did I just step on her landmine?

"What's wrong~ A cute girl like you transferring in, it's bound to happen."

"...Y-yes, you're right. In terms of looks, I'm far superior to them, and my mental fortitude isn't so weak that I'd grovel to them. In a sense, the outcome was inevitable. However, Yamashita-san and Shimamura-san are actually quite cute and have some popularity among guys. But that's just their appearance. If we're talking about grades, sports, arts, or even etiquette and spirit, they're ultimately no match for me. Since they could never beat me, it's understandable that they'd try to drag me down by any means necessary."

Yukino was momentarily speechless, but quickly recovered and showered herself with a cascade of flowery words. It wasn't just eloquent; the Niagara Falls would pale in comparison. I admired her ability to speak so much without her tongue getting tied.

Is this how she hides her shyness? Maybe she has a cute side after all.

She was probably out of breath from talking too much, panting and with a flushed face.

"...Don't say weird things to me, it'll scare me."

"Ah, I'm relieved. You really aren't cute at all."

If anything, Totsuka was cuter than any girl I knew. What was that about?

Oh, right. Totsuka.

"For Totsuka's sake, is there any way to make the Tennis Club stronger?"

Yukino widened her eyes at my question and asked, "How unusual... You worry about others?"

"No, it's just that it's the first time someone's asked me for advice..."

Being relied upon was a pleasant feeling, and besides, Totsuka was so cute... Thinking this, I couldn't help but smile.

Hearing this, Yukino said, as if to compete with me:

"People often come to me with their romantic troubles."

She puffed out her chest proudly, but her expression soon faded.

"...But, when girls talk about relationship problems, it's usually to stake a claim."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"If you reveal who you like first, people around you will be more cautious, right? It's like asserting ownership. If someone pursues the person you like, knowing you like them, they'll naturally become the enemy of all women, even if that person confesses to them. Why do they paint me like that..."

Black flames ignited behind Yukino again. I had expected a bittersweet feeling when hearing about romantic troubles between girls, but instead, it was a story filled with bitterness.

Why does she always shatter the innocent dreams of boys? Is that her hobby?

Yukino chuckled self-deprecatingly, as if trying to shake off unpleasant memories:

"What I'm trying to say is, not everyone who comes here for consultation can have their problems solved just by listening and helping. Didn't the ancients say? 'Even a lion gives its all when hunting its own cub.'"

"You can't kill them."

The correct saying is "Even a lion gives its all when hunting its own cub."

"Then what would you do?"

"Me?"

Yukino blinked and began to think.

"Make them run until they die, swing their rackets until they die, practice until they die."

Saying that with a smile was terrifying.

I actually took a few steps back in fear. Just then, the door to the club room creaked open.

"Yo~~"

A cheerful, foolish greeting came, contrasting with Yukino.

Yuihama still had her goofy smile, looking completely untroubled.

But the person behind her was frowning, looking utterly dejected.

He dejectedly lowered his gaze, his fingertips weakly gripping the hem of Yuihama's jacket. His fair skin was so ethereal, it seemed like it would vanish like a bubble if touched by sunlight.

"Ah... Hachiman!"

In an instant, his skin regained its color, and a smile bloomed on his face. It wasn't until I saw his smile that I realized who it was. But why had he been so gloomy just moments ago?

"It's Totsuka..."

He ran over cheerfully and grabbed my sleeve. Hey, hey, that's cheating... Too bad he's a guy.

"Hachiman, what are you doing here?"

"We're doing club activities... What about you?"

"I brought a client, hehe."

Yuihama proudly declared, puffing out her chest. But I didn't ask you. I wanted to see Totsuka answer with his cute lips.

"Um~~ How should I put it? I'm also a member of the Service Club, so I wanted to help out. And then I saw Saika looking troubled, so I brought him here."

"Yuihama-san."

"Yukino, you don't have to thank me. As a member, it's only natural."

"Yuihama, you're not actually a member..."

"I'm not?"

She's not? I was surprised too. I thought she'd automatically become a member.

"Yes, I haven't received your application, and without the advisor's permission, you can't be considered a member."

Yukino was inexplicably insistent on these rules.

"I'll write it! I'll write as many as you need! Please, let me join!"

Yuihama, on the verge of tears, pulled out a loose-leaf page and wrote "r u sh en qing shu" in large, round letters. Seriously, at least use Chinese characters...

"Next, you must be Totsuka Saika, correct? What can we do for you?"

While Yuihama was frantically writing on her paper, Yukino turned her gaze to Totsuka. He flinched as her icy stare pierced him.

"Um, um... could you help me get... better at tennis?"

He initially looked at Yukino, but as he spoke, he turned to me. Due to the height difference, he tilted his head up to gauge my reaction.

It's bothering me to be looked at like that... I'm going to start blushing, stop looking at me.

Then, Yukino spoke in my place, though she probably wasn't trying to help me.

"I don't know what Yuihama told you, but the Service Club isn't omniscient. We can only assist you in becoming independent; whether you can get stronger depends on you."

"I see..."

Totsuka's shoulders slumped in disappointment. Yuihama had likely made wild claims that led to his overblown expectations. Yuihama herself was muttering "stamp, stamp" while rummaging through her bag. I shot her a glare, and she looked up as if sensing it.

"Huh? What is it?"

"'What is it?' you ask. Because of your irresponsible statement, a young boy's faint hope has been crushed."

Yukino said this to Yuihama mercilessly, but Yuihama tilted her head and replied:

"Huh? But, Yukino and shut-in should be able to do it, right?"