My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

"Hachiman, this is bad. Not only do you not have any female friends, but even if you wanted to ask girls you didn't know, no one would be willing to help a lonely, inconspicuous guy like you. What are you going to do?"

Zaimokuza, shut up! But he was telling the truth, so I couldn't refute him.

The atmosphere no longer allowed me to apologize, so I couldn't use the "Sorry~ Pretend I't☆" move. Not knowing what to do, I glanced at Zaimokuza beside me. He awkwardly looked away and pretended not to notice by whistling a tune he couldn't whistle.

I couldn't help sighing, and Yuihama and Totsuka sighed along with me.

"..."

"Hikigaya-kun, I'm sorry. If only I were a girl..."

Seriously, why wasn't Totsuka a girl? He was so cute.

"...Don't worry about it."

I didn't voice that thought. I merely patted Totsuka's head.

"And... you don't need to blame yourself either. Now that I have a place where I belong, of course I have to protect it."

At my words, Yuihama's shoulders suddenly trembled, and she bit her lip hard in guilt.

Yuihama had her own position in class. Unlike me, she was good at handling interpersonal relationships. Besides, she probably wanted to stay on good terms with Miura and the others.

I really was all alone, but that didn't mean I envied classmates who got along well or cursed them to misfortune... I'm not lying, okay! Really!

We weren't clubmates who shared a close bond, nor were we friends. We had merely gathered together for certain reasons—or rather, been forced together.

But I wanted to prove that being alone didn't mean being pitiful, nor did it make someone inferior.

I knew full well that it was a self-righteous idea. I was incredibly self-righteous—I could even teleport and breathe fire.

But I didn't want my present self to deny my past self. I would never say that being by yourself, all alone, was a sin.

So I would fight to prove my own sense of justice.

I walked alone toward the center of the court.

"...Play!"

At that moment, I heard a very, very faint voice, nearly drowned out by the noise of the spectators.

"Huh?"

"I said I'm playing too!"

Yuihama let out a low "Mmm~~," her entire face flushing red with embarrassment.

"Yuihama? Don't be stupid. You don't have to play."

"I'm not stupid!"

"Why do you want to play? Are you an idiot? Or do you have a crush on me?"

"W-what? What nonsense are you talking about, you idiot? Idiot~~~~~~"

Yuihama flew into a rage and called me an idiot several times in a row. Her whole face had turned red with anger, and she snatched my racket away before swinging it at me.

"S-s-s-s-sorry!"

I hurriedly apologized while dodging. The sound of the racket slicing past my ears was terrifying.

Seeing that I was apologizing while silently asking her why she wanted to play, Yuihama fidgeted and looked away as she said:

"It's not that... how should I put it... I joined the Service Club too... so of course I should help... and besides, this is also a place where I belong."

"Wait, calm down and read the room, okay? This isn't your only place. Your little gang is glaring at you."

"Huh? Seriously?"

Yuihama's expression immediately twisted. She turned toward Hayama, and I could practically hear her neck creaking. Judging by how stiffly she moved, she needed some oiling.

The girls in the Hayama Group, led by Miura, stood with their arms crossed as they watched us. Yuihama had shouted so loudly that of course they had heard every word.

Miura's eyes, blackened by mascara and eyeshadow to an unnaturally large extent, were now radiating intense hostility. Her long, drill-like curls swayed irritably. Were you Madame Butterfly or something?

"☆★Yui★☆, helping them means going against us. Are you sure about that?"

Queen-like Miura crossed her arms and kept tapping the ground with the tip of her foot—the signature gesture of an angry queen. Unable to withstand her pressure, Yuihama silently lowered her gaze, clutching the hem of her skirt as her fingers trembled slightly with tension.

The onlookers kept whispering among themselves, talking animatedly. This scene was practically a public trial.

Even so, Yuihama raised her head and looked straight ahead.

"I-I... I don't mean it like that. But club activities are important to me too! So I'm going to play!"

"Oh~~ Is that so... Just don't make a fool of yourself."

Miura replied coolly, though her face wore a smile like flames blazing in hell.

"Go change. I'm going to borrow uniforms from the Girls' Tennis Club. Want to come with me?"

Miura jerked her chin toward the Tennis Club's clubhouse by the court. Maybe she had meant it kindly, but the gesture looked more like, "I'll slaughter you behind the clubhouse later." Yuihama, her face stiff, followed after her as the surrounding spectators looked on with pity.

Sigh, what could I say... my condolences.

"Um, Hikigaya-kun."

Hayama spoke to me as I stood there with my hands pressed together. The fact that he would take the initiative to speak to someone like me showed just how strong his social skills were, but unfortunately, he had gotten my name wrong.

"What?"

"I don't really understand tennis rules, and doubles is even more complicated, so let's just play casually, okay?"

"...Sure. We're all amateurs anyway. Like volleyball, let's just keep score based on rallies."

"Ah, that's much easier to understand. Good idea."

Hayama smiled cheerfully, and I played along by forcing out a sly grin.

Before long, the two girls returned to the court after changing.

Yuihama walked over while blushing furiously and tugging at the hem of her skirt. She wore a polo-style top and a tennis skirt.

"I kind of feel... embarrassed wearing tennis clothes... Isn't this skirt too short?"

"Come on, the skirts you usually wear are this short."

"Huh? What did you say? D-Don't tell me you've been watching me every day? Gross, gross! You're seriously disgusting!"

Yuihama glared fiercely at me and swung her racket my way.

"Don't worry! I wasn't looking at all! I didn't even notice! Rest assured! And don't hit me!"

"When you put it like that... I'm not too happy about it either..."

Still muttering in dissatisfaction, Yuihama slowly lowered her racket.

Seizing the moment, Zaimokuza deliberately cleared his throat a few times before speaking.

"Ahem. So, Hachiman, what is your strategy?"

"I'd say our best move is to target the girl on their team."

That girl's head didn't seem to work too well. We should be able to take her out in no time; she was definitely their weak point. Rather than facing Hayama head-on, going after her would be far more advantageous.

But upon hearing that suggestion, Yuihama cried out.

"What? Don't you know? Yumiko was in the Girls' Tennis Club in middle school! She was even selected as a prefectural representative!"

At her words, I took another look at the Madame Butterfly named Yumiko. The way she swung her racket certainly looked convincing, and she was extremely agile too. Seeing that, Zaimokuza said quietly, "Heh, looks like that long-haired girl has some serious skills."

"That's wavy hair."

No, what it was called wasn't important.

The match erupted into sparks, becoming a fierce back-and-forth battle in which neither side gave an inch.

At first, the spectators kept up a stream of manly roars and girlish shrieks, but as the tense, exhilarating match went on, they began focusing on the game itself. Whenever someone scored, they would sigh or cheer, as though they were watching a professional match on television.

The prolonged rally kept the entire court tense, as if every returned ball shaved away a little more of everyone's mental strength.

What broke the balance between the two sides was the long-haired girl's serve.

Whoosh—smack! I thought that was the sound of her racket swinging, but it was actually the tennis ball shooting into the court like a bullet and flying toward the back.

What was that just now? Did her shots spin in spirals like her hair?

In any case, Madame Butterfly was an exceptionally skilled player.

"She's way too strong..."

I couldn't help muttering to myself.

"That's what I told you."

Why were you so proud of that? Were you really my teammate?

"Hey, you haven't hit the ball even once this whole time..."

"Umm, I hardly ever play tennis. Hahaha~"

Yuihama brushed me off with a foolish laugh.

"...If you've never played tennis, why did you even come here?"

"Hmph! W-Well, excuse me!"

Idiot, I meant the opposite. She was just too nice. Even though she'd never touched a tennis ball, she entered this match in front of all these people just to stand up for Totsuka. Ordinary people couldn't do something like that. If she had been amazing at tennis too, that would have been unbelievably cool, but life wasn't that kind.

I had developed accurate return skills by rallying against walls in Physical Education Class, so I was able to manage during the early stages of the match. But once the second half began, the score gradually started to widen.

Because they began focusing their attacks on Yuihama.

They probably hadn't expected me to be surprisingly competent, so they changed targets. Though you could also say they simply didn't consider me worth targeting.

"Yuihama, you take the front. I'll handle the back."

"Okay, I'm counting on you."

After settling on our strategy, we moved to our respective positions.

Hayama's fast, powerful serve came flying in and struck the very edge of the corner, about to bounce far away again. I sprinted after it desperately, stretching my racket to its limit and barely managing to reach the ball before swinging with all my strength.

I returned the ball to their court, but Madame Butterfly was ready for it and sent it to the other side. Without even looking at the ball, I scrambled to my feet and bolted at full speed toward where it might be headed.

Thankfully, my legs still obeyed me, letting me reach the landing point first. I aimed at the bouncing tennis ball and swung toward the edge of the court.

But Hayama seemed to see through my intentions. Not only did he return my shot head-on, he deliberately changed his style and sent a sharp drop shot over the net between Yuihama and me.

Off-balance, I had no chance of reaching it. I could only plead with Yuihama with my eyes, and she ran to the ball's landing point and hit it back. Just reaching the ball had been difficult enough, yet it happened to fall right at the height in front of Madame Butterfly.

Madame Butterfly smashed the ball back with all her strength, a cruel smile on her face. The ball skimmed past Yuihama's cheek and vanished far behind her, bouncing in an empty spot with a bang.

"Are you okay?"

Rather than retrieve the tennis ball, I first checked on Yuihama, who had dropped to her knees in fright.

"...That scared me to death."

Hearing Yuihama murmur in a voice on the verge of tears, Madame Butterfly's face briefly showed concern.

"Yumiko, you really are vicious."

"What?! I'm not! This is perfectly normal in a match! I'm not that horrible!"

"Because you're a sadist."

Hayama and Madame Butterfly played off each other, then laughed. The spectators around us smiled along with them.

"...Shut-in, we have to win."

Yuihama picked up her racket and stood up. Then she suddenly let out a quiet cry of pain.

"Hey, are you hurt?"

"Sorry, I think I twisted my ankle."

Yuihama gave an embarrassed smile as tears spilled from her eyes.

"If we lose this match, Saika will be in trouble... Ahh~~ this is bad~~ things can't go on like this... It's not like apologizing will fix anything... Ahh~~ damn it!"

Yuihama bit her lip in frustration.

"It's fine. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Worst case, we can make Zaimokuza wear women's clothes and put him on the court."