My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected / My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

I picked up the tennis ball rolling across the ground and gently tossed it to Yuihama.

"She'll be back sooner or later. Go ahead and keep practicing."

"...Yeah!"

Totsuka replied energetically and resumed practice.

He never showed weakness, nor did he complain.

He was already trying hard enough.

"I'm tired~~ Shut-in, you take over feeding the balls."

Yuihama was the one who got tired first...

Fine, it wasn't like I had anything to do. At most, I could squat down and watch ants.

And that ant had already died at Zaimokuza's hands. I had absolutely nothing to do now—I was bored out of my mind.

"Okay, I'll take over."

"Great. Ah, you'll probably get bored after throwing about five balls, so be careful."

Five balls? Isn't that way too fast?! Just how little patience did you have?

I took the tennis balls from Yuihama, when the smile on her face suddenly darkened.

"Ah, people are playing tennis! Tennis!"

Hearing the rowdy voices behind me, I turned around and saw a large group centered around Hayama and Miura-san. As they walked past Zaimokuza toward us, they noticed Yuihama and me as well.

"Ah... it's ☆★Yui★☆ and the others..."

The girl beside Miura-san murmured.

Miura-san glanced at Yuihama and me again before ignoring us and walking straight over to talk to Totsuka. As for Zaimokuza, she seemed not to have noticed him from the very beginning.

"Totsuka~ Can we play here too?"

"Miura-san, I'm not playing... I'm practicing..."

"Huh? What? I can't hear you."

Miura-san seemed not to have heard Totsuka's quiet objection, and a single remark made him shut up. Then again, if she asked me that way, I probably wouldn't dare say much either. She was genuinely terrifying.

Gathering the last of his courage, Totsuka spoke again.

"I-I'm practicing..."

But The Queen didn't care in the slightest.

"Oh~~ But there are people here who aren't from the Tennis Club too. Doesn't that mean the court isn't just for the boys' tennis club?"

"W-Well, that's true..."

"Then we should be allowed to use the court too, right? Isn't that right?"

"But..."

At that point, Totsuka looked helplessly at me. Huh? Me?

Well, I really was the only one left. Yukino had run off somewhere, Yuihama awkwardly looked away, and Zaimokuza was no help... so I had no choice but to step in.

"Ah~~ Sorry, but Totsuka went out of his way to reserve this court, so other people can't use it."

"Huh? So what? Aren't you non-club people using it too?"

"Oh, no. We're helping Totsuka practice. You could call it a business commission, or outsourced labor."

"What? What the hell are you talking about? Gross."

God, this woman had no intention of listening to me. This was why I hated brainless sluts! You couldn't communicate with them using words—could you even call yourself a primate? Talking to a dog would be easier.

"All right, all right, don't get worked up."

Hayama stepped in to smooth things over.

"It'd be more fun if everyone played together. Isn't that better?"

The instant I heard those words, a fire ignited inside me.

Miura-san cocked the gun, and Hayama pulled the trigger.

Which meant the next step was shooting.

"Who exactly are the 'everyone' you're talking about? The same 'everyone' you argue with Mother about, saying, 'Everyone else has one, but I don't'? Who are those people? I've never had friends, so I've never used that excuse..."

"Shooting" and "melancholy"! A miraculous combination (the pronunciations of "shooting" and "melancholy" are the same)

Even Hayama panicked when he heard that.

"Ah, no, that's not what I meant... Let me apologize first. Sorry. Um... if you don't mind, you can come talk to me if you have any troubles."

Hayama desperately tried to comfort me.

He really was a good person. I almost thanked him with tears in my eyes.

But—

If that kind of cheap sympathy could save me, would I still have this kind of personality? If a single sentence could solve your troubles, no one would suffer because of them.

"...Hayato, your kindness makes me happy. I know you're a nice guy, and you're the ace of the Soccer Club. On top of that, you're so handsome—you must be very popular with girls."

"W-why are you suddenly saying that...?"

Caught off guard by the sudden praise, Hayato was visibly shaken. Hmph, go ahead and enjoy it.

You had no idea.

Why praise someone else? It was to first lift them up to the heavens, then pull the rug out from under them and make them crash down hard!

That was my strategy.

"You're nearly perfect in every way, so why do you have to fight someone with nothing like me over the court? Don't you feel ashamed of yourself as a human being?"

"That's right! Hayato, your actions violate all ethics—they're utterly disgraceful! This is an invasion! I demand vengeance!"

Zaimokuza popped up beside me and started beating the drum along with me.

"Y-you two together have somehow become even more pathetic and irritating..."

Yuihama didn't know what to say, while Hayato scratched his head and let out a quiet sigh.

"Hmm... I see..."

An evil smile spread across my lips.

That's right, Hayato didn't like making things awkward, and right now, the people here were Zaimokuza, Hayato, and me. Hayato would be forced to yield to the majority and accept our demands.

"Heeey, Hayatooo~"

At that moment, a thoroughly unenthusiastic voice cut in from nearby.

"How long are you guys going to keep talking? I wanna play tennis already."

Damn it, that idiot curly-haired girl was here again. Were even your brain cells curled up? Could you at least listen to what we were saying? You were exactly the kind of person who mixed up the accelerator and the brakes.

In fact, Miura really did mix up the accelerator and the brakes.

That one interruption gave Hayato time to think, letting him use that brief opening to come up with a good solution.

"Hmm... Ah, how about this? The people outside the boys' tennis club can play each other. The winning side gets to use the court during lunch breaks from now on, and of course, they'll have to practice with Totsuka too. Practicing with people who are better at tennis would help Totsuka more, and everyone would be happy."

...That idea was too perfect. Was he a genius?

"A tennis match? What's that? Sounds super fun."

Miura revealed the savage smile unique to the Queen of Fire.

At the same time, her followers beside her erupted into loud cheers.

The moment everyone heard there would be a match, they all got excited. Amid the frenzy and chaos, our practice suddenly entered its third phase.

It sounded nice enough, but this was really a match with the right to use the court on the line.

How had it come to this...

Earlier, I'd joked about frenzy and chaos, but I never expected it all to come true.

At that very moment, the tennis court in the corner of the campus was packed to the brim.

After taking a quick count, I found there were well over two hundred people present. Naturally, the Hayama Group was among them, along with a whole crowd of people who had heard the news from who knew where and come to watch the spectacle.

Most of them were Hayato's friends and supporters, mainly second-years, though there were also some first- and third-year students.

Hayato was seriously ridiculous. He might have had more influence than some politicians.

"Ha-ya-to! Go! Ha-ya-to! Go!"

The spectators cheered Hayato on and even started doing the wave, like they were at an idol concert. Still, most of them probably weren't genuinely supporting Hayato—they were just joining in because it was fun... Right? I hoped so.

Either way, from an outsider's perspective, it practically looked like a religion. Their passion sent chills down my spine. What terrifying disciples of youth.

Amid the chaos, Hayato strode proudly toward the center of the court. Surrounded by so many spectators, he showed no fear at all. He seemed used to having so many eyes on him. Besides his usual followers, male and female students from other classes had gathered around him as well.

We had been completely swallowed up by the crowd. Our gazes had been wandering ever since, and even with my eyes closed, the piercing clamor made my head spin.

Hayato had already picked up a racket and taken his place on the court, watching us curiously to see who we would send out.

"Hey, shut-in, what do we do now?"

"How should I know...?"

Yuihama asked anxiously. I glanced at Totsuka, who looked like a rabbit brought into a stranger's house.

He timidly walked over to my side, his legs drawing inward. That pose was seriously adorable.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought so. Totsuka's appearance stirred up the girls' protective instincts, and they began shouting, "Prince~~!" and "Saika~~!"

But every time Totsuka heard their cheers, his shoulders trembled. Then his supporters would cheer even more excitedly, which got me excited too.

"Totsuka can't play..."

Hayato had said it was a match between people outside the boys' tennis club. In other words, this was a showdown with Totsuka and the right to use the tennis court at stake.

"...Zaimokuza, can you play tennis?"

"I've got this. I finished all the manga, and I even went to see the stage play live. When it comes to tennis, I know a thing or two."

"Forget it. I can't believe I was stupid enough to ask you. Also, if you're going to call tennis 'court ball,' then you should change what you call stage plays too."

"Then you'll have to take the field... Hey, what are the Japanese kanji for 'stage play'?"

"Exactly..."

"Do you stand a chance? I'm asking what the Japanese kanji for 'stage play' are!"

"How would I stand a chance? And you're too damn loud. If you don't know, then change your character setting! Your character setting already collapsed ages ago."

"I-I see... You're really smart."

Zaimokuza admired me from the bottom of his heart. His problem had been solved, but mine hadn't improved at all. Sigh... What the hell was I supposed to do?

As I agonized over a solution, someone across from me rudely urged me on again.

"Hey, can you hurry it up?"

Shut up, you slut!

I cursed her in my head as I looked up and saw Miura checking the condition of her racket.

I wasn't the only one surprised by this. Hayama was too.

"Huh? You're playing too?"

"What? Of course. I said I wanted to play tennis earlier."

"But they'll probably send out a guy. That... Hikigaya-kun, right? Anyway, him. That puts you at a bit of a disadvantage."

Who the hell was Hikigaya-kun? Hikigaya-kun wouldn't be competing; Hachiman would be... probably.

After Hayama laid out his analysis, Miura lightly tugged at her long curls and thought for a moment.

"Ah, then let's make it mixed doubles. Ugh, why am I so smart? But is there anyone who wants to team up with Hikigaya-kun? Just thinking about it is hilarious."

Miura let out a sharp, utterly unladylike laugh, and the audience erupted as well. Even I inadvertently laughed. Hahaha, ha, ha, ha, ha! It was a vicious but effective move, and everything before my eyes suddenly went black.