My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

I tried to hand the cat to Yuihama, who was standing closest to me, but she jumped back... No, I wanted her to hold it. This time, I called out to her and held the cat out again, but she dodged to the side once more.

"What's wrong?"

"Ah, n-no, no, no, nothing!"

Yuihama timidly reached out her hands. The moment Koyuki saw them, it let out a "Meow~~." Startled by the cat's cry, she pulled her hands back again.

"Could it be... you're afraid of cats?"

"W-What? H-How could I possibly be afraid of cats? I actually love cats! Aww, they're s-so cute~ Meow, meow, meow~"

But her voice was trembling. What was the point of forcing herself like that? There was no need.

"Please, Komachi."

I handed Koyuki to Komachi, and it immediately began purring contentedly. How tragic. Even cats hated me.

"I'll be right back."

There should be a cardboard box in the school office. Different cats had different preferences when it came to cardboard boxes, but the cat at my house wasn't particularly picky. Pretty much any box would do.

Besides, Koyuki had a strange fondness for plastic. It loved licking the plastic shrink wrap around manga volumes. Did that stuff actually taste good?

I should grab a few plastic bags while I was at it... As I walked along, pondering how to improve my standing with the cat, Yuihama hurried up behind me.

"Um, hey! It's not that I dislike cats..."

"Hm? Oh, it's fine if you do. Yukino dislikes dogs, and I dislike insects and stuff."

To add to that, I also disliked "people."

"No, I really don't dislike them. I think cats are cute too..."

"Are you allergic to cat fur or something?"

"No... It's because cats disappear someday, right? So it makes me feel a little sad..."

Yuihama, usually so full of energy, seemed especially subdued. There was a hint of loneliness in her eyes, and her steps slowed, so I matched her pace.

"I used to live in an apartment building, and back then, it was popular for everyone to secretly keep cats."

"That's the first I've heard of such an activity."

"It's something only kids living in apartment buildings experience, since you're not allowed to have pets there, right? So I hid it from my family and secretly kept a stray cat. But one day, it suddenly disappeared... That's why I don't really like cats~"

As usual, she brushed off that last line with a laugh.

What had "parting" felt like to the young Yuihama? Perhaps it had been regret. Perhaps betrayal. She had taken such good care of it, they had been so close, their hearts had understood each other—so why had it vanished without a word?

But the Yuihama of today probably understood well enough.

When cats sensed that their time was near, they silently disappeared from their owners' sides.

If that was the case, then what had that sense of loss felt like to the grown-up Yuihama? Maybe she felt regret.

That was only my imagination. Perhaps the truth was nothing like that. Still, I believed she had been sad, and that she was a kind person.

We stopped talking and silently carried the not-very-heavy cardboard box back.

After Koyuki entered the box, it lightly tested the texture with its front paws. It stomped three times to flatten the bottom, then purred in satisfaction, as though saying, "Hmm... not bad."

All right, now we just had to wait for Saki Kawasaki to show up. But there was a problem: we had no idea when she would appear, since the length of Hiratsuka-sensei's lectures varied depending on her mood that day.

"To be safe, let's assign roles first."

Thus, Yukino, who had proposed Animal Therapy, became the commander-in-chief. Totsuka kept watch outside the faculty office, Yuihama guarded the bicycle parking area, Komachi was in charge of relaying messages, and I was responsible for running around with the cardboard box in my arms.

My role was somewhat different from everyone else's. Until I received orders, I had nothing to do. While waiting, I went to a nearby vending machine and bought a bottle of SPORTOP to replenish my energy. After buying it, I opened the carton, stuck in the straw, took a sip or two, and headed back to where I had been. Then—

"Meow~~"

Koyuki let out a cat cry I knew all too well.

"Meow—"

A girl made a rather unfamiliar-sounding cat cry.

I instinctively looked around, but aside from Yukino, there were no other girls nearby. So I could only call out to her back.

"...What are you doing?"

"What?"

She answered as though nothing had happened.

"Weren't you just talking to the cat—"

"More importantly, I gave you a simple order to wait quietly, yet you still couldn't manage even that. I had already taken your inferior capabilities into account, but I never expected you to be this hopeless. How exactly am I supposed to give orders to someone whose brain is worse than an elementary school student's so that he'll understand them?"

Yukino's words were merciless, her coldness at least fifty percent greater than usual. More importantly, her eyes were saying, "Say one more word and I'll kill you."

"U-Understood. I'll go back and wait immediately."

Just as I was about to head toward the bench where I had been sitting, my phone suddenly vibrated. A string of unfamiliar digits appeared on the screen. The only people likely to call at a time like this were Komachi, Yuihama, Totsuka, and Yukino. I already had Komachi's and Yuihama's numbers, and I had seen Yukino only seconds ago, so there was no reason for her to call... Which meant it was Totsuka?

"Hello?"

"Ah, is this Brother? I got this number from Hikigaya-kun."

"I don't have a younger brother, and I don't have a sworn younger brother either!"

I hung up, but the other party immediately called again. It seemed that even if I ignored him, he wouldn't give up, so I—

—had no choice but to give up and answer the phone.

"Wait, why did you hang up on me?!"

"What is it?"

"Well... I heard you were going to use a cat, but my sister is allergic to cat fur."

...Didn't that mean the whole plan had gone down the drain?

"Why didn't you say so earlier?"

"Sorry, I only just found out too."

"Alright, got it. Thanks for letting me know. Bye."

After ending the call, I immediately hurried over to Yukino. She was crouched in front of Koyuki, scratching its throat and squeezing its paw pads.

"Yukino."

The moment I spoke, Yukino quickly pulled her hand away and glared at me with an expression that said, "What is it this time?" Geez, I'd only just managed to forget about what happened before, and that glare made me remember it all over again.

"Taishi just called. He said Kawasaki is allergic to cat fur, so even if we left the cat here, she probably wouldn't pick it up."

"...Sigh. Let's call off the plan."

Yukino stroked Koyuki's head with a look of deep regret. Meow~~

After informing everyone that the plan had been canceled, we returned from our respective posts, dejected.

"Brother, did Kawasaki call you?"

"She did. But you can't just give other people someone's phone number. What if something dangerous happens? You need to stay alert when handling personal information."

"But Hikigaya-kun's personal information isn't worth much, is it?"

Yukino took a jab at me in a teasing tone.

"Not mine—Komachi's. Did you hear me? Don't just give people phone numbers, especially if the other person is a boy."

"Oh, come on~ Komachi knows all about that stuff~"

Komachi laughed it off. She was actually especially sharp when it came to things like that. She probably handled those matters better than I did.

We were the ones who needed to work harder. Animal Therapy had ended in failure, so we had to find another way. I turned to Yukino and asked whether she had any other ideas.

However, Yukino merely looked back and forth between Komachi and me, murmuring:

"...You two siblings are really close... I'm a little jealous."

"Huh? Oh, I guess an only child might think that, but it's not necessarily such a great thing."

"No, I... Never mind. It's nothing."

It was rare for her to swallow words that had already reached her lips. Usually, she was so sharp-tongued, and she always had time to mock me with a bunch of unnecessary remarks. Had she eaten something bad? Like Yuihama's cookies, for example.

"What now? We need to think of another method."

"Um..."

Totsuka timidly raised his hand. His gaze shifted uneasily between Yukino and Yuihama as he asked them, "M-May I say something...?" Of course you can! Even if nobody else agreed, even if this was a forbidden love, I would accept you!

"Please do. You're welcome to express your opinions freely; it would help us too."

"Then... what if we asked Hiratsuka-sensei? There are some things that are hard to say precisely because you're too close to your parents, but maybe it would be easier to talk to another adult?"

Oh, that was a pretty solid suggestion. Some things really did become difficult to bring up in front of your own parents. Things like adult books, or relationship problems—you would never want to discuss those with your parents. Other things you couldn't bring yourself to say included arriving at school to find your desk in the hallway, finding trash stuffed into your shoe locker, or getting excited over a love letter only to discover it was a prank by someone in your grade.

At times like those, a third party was important. And that third party had to be a dependable adult with plenty of life experience. Asking them to lend a hand might not be a bad idea.

"But Hiratsuka-sensei..."

That was the problem. She only made people shake their heads in dismay—could she really be considered an adult? I figured only her chest qualified.

"I think Hiratsuka-sensei cares more about her students than any other teacher. There probably isn't anyone more suitable."

"Hmm... alright."

Yukino was right. As everyone's homeroom teacher, Hiratsuka-sensei put a great deal of effort into her job. She was the sort of teacher who normally spoke with students and observed them carefully before referring troubled students to places like the Service Club.

"Then I'll contact her."

I wrote an email explaining the situation in broad terms, along with everything we knew about Saki Kawasaki, and sent it to the teacher. I'd always thought I would never have any reason to use a teacher's mobile email address, but it came in handy under unexpected circumstances.

"'...That is all. For the details, please come to the entrance of the building.' That should get her here, right?"

I ended the message that way, then waited for the teacher to appear.

Clack, clack... Five minutes later, we heard loud footsteps.

"Hikigaya, I understand the situation. Tell me the details."

Hiratsuka-sensei approached with a serious expression and stubbed out her cigarette in her portable ashtray. She quietly listened as I explained everything we knew about Saki Kawasaki and the conclusions we had drawn so far, then let out a brief sigh.

"Students from this school working late at night is a serious matter. This is quite urgent, so let me handle it."

After saying that, Hiratsuka-sensei let out an arrogant, "Heh, heh, heh~"

"Just watch. Before coming here, I had Saki Kawasaki go home first. She'll probably be here in another two minutes."

...What was this? Why did I feel such indescribable unease? Why did I have such a strong feeling that she was about to become cannon fodder?

"Absolutely no throwing punches, okay?"

"How could I? I-I'd only throw punches at you!"

"Ugh, not cute at all..."

A little while later, Saki Kawasaki arrived at the building entrance. She walked along absentmindedly, yawning from time to time. Her backpack slipped from her listless shoulders, but she did not care in the slightest, letting it dangle and swing from her elbow.

"Kawasaki, wait."

Hiratsuka-sensei suddenly appeared and called out to Kawasaki from behind. Kawasaki turned around, straightened her hunched back, and narrowed her eyes as though she were about to glare at her.

Hiratsuka-sensei was fairly tall, but Kawasaki was no less so. Her long legs were tucked into boots with loosely tied laces, and she lightly kicked a small stone beside her.

"...What is it?"

Her voice was hoarse and lifeless, yet somehow barbed as well. To put it plainly, she was terrifying. Not in the unfriendly way of a delinquent, but more like an experienced older woman sitting alone in a corner of a suburban bar, whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

On the other hand, Hiratsuka-sensei also gave off a certain kind of intimidating aura. Hers was more like that of an office lady at a Chinese restaurant in front of a commuter-town station, eating gomoku ramen while downing bottled beer and grumbling at a live baseball broadcast like an exhausted middle-aged man: "Take that lousy pitcher out!"

What was this now? A showdown between monsters?

"Kawasaki, I heard you've been getting home very late lately. Have you been staying out until almost dawn? Where exactly have you been going, and what have you been doing?"

"May I ask who told you that, Sensei?"

"I cannot reveal information about my client. In any case, answer my question already."

Hiratsuka-sensei smiled with easy confidence, while Kawasaki let out a lazy sigh. From a certain angle, it almost looked as though she were mocking the teacher.

"It's nothing. Besides, I can go wherever I want, can't I? It's not like I'm causing anyone trouble."