My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, as I Expected

"Y-yes, yes, yes, sorry!"

Yuihama-san immediately rushed over. What are you, a puppy?

Yukino went around behind her and retied the knot.

"I kind of feel like... Yukino is my big sister."

"My little sister wouldn't be this clumsy."

Yukino sighed, her face clearly saying, "I give up." Still, I thought Yuihama's description was surprisingly fitting. The mature and composed Yukino and the baby-faced Yuihama really did look like sisters.

And somehow, it felt rather homey.

Let me make this clear: only old men would insist that a naked apron was better at a time like this. I believed a uniform paired with an apron was the ultimate combination.

A warm feeling rose within me, and a smile naturally appeared on my lips.

"S-shut-in, can I ask you something?"

"W-what is it?"

Crap. I must have been wearing an unpleasant smile just now, because my voice went shrill when I instinctively answered Yuihama, making it even more unpleasant. A negative times a negative effect.

"Wh-what do you think about homey girls?"

"I don't dislike them. Most guys probably dream of dating that kind of girl."

"I-is that so..."

Hearing that, Yuihama smiled in relief.

"Okay, I'll do my best!"

Yuihama rolled up her sleeves and began beating the eggs. Then she added flour, sugar, butter, vanilla extract, and other ingredients. Even someone like me, who knew little about cooking, could tell that Yuihama's skills were extraordinary. Some people might think it was only making cookies, but simple things were exactly where quality differences showed most clearly. Since you couldn't rely on fancy tricks, a cook's true ability was laid bare.

First came the eggs, but Yuihama beat the eggshells into the bowl along with them.

Then she added the flour, turning everything into a sticky lump.

Next was the butter, which had not melted at all.

When adding sugar, she naturally used salt instead. She poured in vanilla extract as though it were free, and the milk nearly overflowed.

As for Yukino, she held her forehead, her face deathly pale. Even I, with my poor cooking skills, felt a chill run down my spine. Yukino, who was good at cooking, was surely even more terrified.

"Next..."

Yuihama took out some instant coffee.

"Cookies with coffee? Yeah, having something to drink would make them easier to swallow. You're pretty thoughtful."

"Huh? No, it's for seasoning. Guys usually don't like sweets, right?"

Yuihama spoke while adding the coffee and turning her head toward me. Since she was not watching her hands, a black mountain instantly piled up in the bowl.

"That's way more than seasoning!"

"Huh? Ah, then I'll adjust it with some sugar."

She built a white mountain beside the black one. Then an egg tsunami swallowed both mountains, and in the end, it became hell.

I came to a conclusion: Yuihama lacked cooking skills. It was not that her skill level was high or low. She simply had none at all.

Not only did Yuihama have no cooking ability, she was also far too casual and creatively inventive in useless ways. She really was not suited to entering a kitchen. I definitely would not want to do chemistry experiments with her either. One small mistake, and we might lose our lives.

After that thing finished baking, it somehow resembled a completely black cake. Just from the smell, I could tell it was bitter.

"H-how did this happen?"

Yuihama stared at Object X with a stunned expression.

"I can't understand... how you managed to make so many mistakes..."

Yukino murmured. She probably did not want Yuihama to hear, but she could not help saying it.

Yuihama piled Object X onto a plate.

"Even if it doesn't look great... you won't know how it tastes until you eat it!"

"True enough. And we happen to have someone here to taste-test it."

"Wahahaha! Yukino, it's rare for you to say something wrong... this is poison testing!"

"How is this poison! Poison? Hmm... is it really poisonous?"

Yuihama loudly retorted, then started to look uneasy. She tilted her head slightly and asked me with her eyes, What do you think? But did she really need to ask?

Ignoring Yuihama's puppy-like pleading gaze, I turned to Yukino.

"Hey, are we really going to eat this? This is basically charcoal sold at JOYFUL Honda."

"Everything she used is edible, so there should not be a problem... probably. And—"

Yukino paused, leaned toward my ear, and whispered:

"I'll eat some too, so don't worry."

"Really? I never thought you were actually a nice guy. Or do you have a crush on me?"

"...You should just eat it all by yourself and die."

"Sorry, I was just surprised, so I accidentally said something weird."

It was only a snack... no, I did not even know whether the thing on the plate could count as a snack.

"I asked you to taste it, not clean up the mess. Besides, I was the one who accepted her request. I'll take responsibility."

After saying that, Yukino placed the plate in front of me.

"We can't properly solve the problem unless we identify it, so taking a risk now is unavoidable."

If she told me these black objects were iron ore, I would probably believe her. Yukino picked up one piece, and her eyes seemed a little moist as she looked at me.

"...We won't die, right?"

"I was about to ask you that..."

As I answered Yukino, I looked toward Yuihama. She was watching us with an expression that said she wanted to join in... perfect. Let her eat a few too, so she could properly experience our suffering.

I barely managed to swallow the cookies Yuihama had baked.

They were truly awful. I did not immediately throw up and lose consciousness like in a manga, but I thought it might have been better if I had simply passed out. If I really fainted, I would not have to eat any more.

These cookies tasted like someone had mixed in the guts of a Pacific saury, though that also meant they would not kill me immediately. Still, from a long-term perspective, it would not be strange if eating these cookies increased the risk of cancer, leading to illness and death a few years later.

"Ughh, they're so bitter and disgusting!"

Tears streamed down Yuihama's face as she crunched through a cookie. Yukino immediately handed her a cup of tea.

"It's better not to chew them. Swallow them with a drink. Also, be careful not to let them touch your tongue. These cookies are like harsh medicine."

Stop saying things like that so casually.

Yukino poured freshly boiled, steaming water from the teapot and made tea for us.

After the three of us finished our evenly divided portions of cookies and washed the taste from our mouths with tea, I finally felt a little better and let out a breath.

Yukino was the first to speak, trying to lift everyone's spirits.

"Then let's think about how to improve the problem."

"Yuihama should never cook again."

"You're completely denying me?"

"Hikigaya-kun, that is the final solution."

"Is that really how we're solving this?"

Yuihama first looked stunned, then her face filled with disappointment. Her shoulders drooped weakly, and she let out a deep sigh.

"I really am not suited for cooking... Does it depend on talent? But I don't have any talent."

Hearing that, Yukino sighed as well.

"...I see. I know what to do."

"What should we do?"

She answered me calmly.

"You can only work hard."

"Does that count as a solution?"

In my opinion, effort was the worst possible solution.

When there were no other possibilities and effort was the only path left, it meant the situation had reached the point where nothing could be done. Put plainly, it was hardly different from having no solution at all. If there was no hope, it would be easier to tell them to give up outright. Nothing was more empty than wasted effort. It was more efficient to make someone give up completely and direct that time and energy toward something else.

"Effort is a fine solution, provided you do it correctly."

Yukino seemed to see through my thoughts. Are you psychic?

"Yuihama-san, you said earlier that you had no talent, correct?"

"Huh? Ah, yes."

"Please stop thinking that way. People who do not even make the most basic effort have no right to envy talented people. Losers fail because they do not understand that successful people build their success through steady effort, bit by bit."

Yukino's words were extremely harsh, but flawless. There was absolutely no room for rebuttal.

Confusion and fear appeared on Yuihama's speechless face. Perhaps she had never been scolded like this to her face before.

Then, as if trying to hide it, Yuihama forced a smile.

"B-but nobody makes cookies these days... Besides, this kind of thing really doesn't suit me. That must be it! Hehe..."

Just as Yuihama's embarrassed laugh was about to fade away, Yukino set down her teacup with a clack. The sound was calm, yet as clear and cold as ice. Yuihama and I could not help looking at Yukino, only to find a sharp aura radiating from her.

"...Could you please stop constantly trying to accommodate everyone else? It irritates me just watching you. You even need to ask others where the roots of your own clumsiness, inadequacy, and stupidity lie. Don't you find that embarrassing?"

"W-waah..."

Yukino's words were incredibly forceful, her disgust completely undisguised. Even I wanted to retreat, letting out startled little noises.

"..."

Yuihama fell silent under Yukino's forceful presence. Her head was lowered, so I could not see her expression, but the way she tightly gripped the hem of her skirt was enough to tell me how she felt.

Yuihama was probably very good at communicating with people. To become one of the prominent members of the class, she must have needed considerable social coordination in addition to her looks. Conversely, that meant she was good at accommodating others, but lacked the courage to stay true to herself at the risk of ending up alone.

Yukino, on the other hand, was thoroughly self-centered. Her ability to act went without saying, and even her behavior seemed proud of her solitary nature.

They belonged to completely different types.

If this were a wrestling match, Yukino clearly had the upper hand, and what she said made considerable sense.

Yuihama's eyes grew moist.

"I..."

She was probably trying to say, "I'm leaving." Her nearly tearful voice was so quiet it was almost inaudible. Combined with her slightly trembling shoulders, it sounded even weaker.

"I think Yukino is so cool..."

"Huh?"

What was she talking about?

Yukino and I spoke at the same time, then looked at each other.

"You never say things just to be nice... How should I put it? I think that's really cool..."

Yuihama stared eagerly at Yukino, while Yukino stiffly took two steps back.

"W-what are you talking about...? Did you understand what I said? I was being quite rude."

"No! It's not like that! Ah, you really were pretty harsh, and it scared me a little, but..."

Yeah, that was right. Honestly, I had not expected Yukino to be so blunt with another girl, and even I was a little surprised. But Yuihama seemed to have felt more than just fear.

"I think everything you said was true. When you talk to the shut-in, you're always attacking each other too... but you really are communicating. I've always lived by watching other people's reactions. This is the first time I've encountered something like this..."

Yuihama did not run away.