My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected / My Youth Romance Story Is Wrong, As I Expected

"It's a little different. The Service Club only provides help. Whether your wish comes true depends on you."

Those words sounded like a merciless rejection of her request for help.

"How is it different?"

Yuihama-san asked in surprise. That was my question too.

"The difference is between 'giving a man a fish' and 'teaching a man to fish.' Volunteer work is supposed to give people the means to help themselves, not directly give them the result. Helping them become independent would be the closest way to put it."

It sounded like something straight out of a civics textbook, the kind of topic you would find at any school.

In that case, balancing "independence" and "cooperation" must be the club's guiding principle. The teacher was always

talking about diligence and such, so this was probably a club that worked for the students.

"T-that sounds amazing!"

Yuihama-san wore an enlightened expression. Looking at her, I felt like she might someday get lured into some strange religious cult. It was a little worrying.

There was a saying about how big breasts meant no brains or something. It had no scientific basis, but a living example stood right in front of me.

On the other hand, Yukino was sharp-minded and silver-tongued, while her chest was flat as a washboard.

At that moment, Yukino continued with a cold smile.

"I can't guarantee your wish will come true, but I'll do my best to help."

Only then did Yuihama-san let out an "Ah," remembering why she had come.

"Um, could you... cookies..."

She spoke haltingly and even glanced at me.

I wasn't a cookie. My classmates might treat me like air, but no matter how similar the pronunciation was, cookies and air had nothing to do with each other.

"Hikigaya-kun."

Yukino tilted her chin toward the hallway. That meant she wanted me to get out. Still, she did not need to signal like that. Why not just gently say, "You're in the way. Could you please leave for now? I'd be even happier if you never came back"?

If it was something only girls could talk about, there was nothing I could do. Such things existed in this world. You could tell from phrases like "health education," "separate the boys," and "the girls will attend class in another room."

...Come to think of it, what exactly did the girls learn in those classes? I was still curious about that.

"...I'm going to buy a can of SPORTOP."

Reading the atmosphere, I casually took action. Man, I was so considerate. If I were a girl, I would definitely fall in love with myself.

As I reached for the door, Yukino seemed to remember something and spoke behind me.

"I want Vegetable Life 100 strawberry yogurt."

Yukino really was something else, ordering people around so freely.

Going from the third floor of the special building to the first floor and back took less than ten minutes. If I walked there and back slowly, they should be done talking by then.

No matter what, Yuihama was our first client. In other words, the competition between Yukino and me had officially begun. I had no chance of winning anyway, so I just needed to minimize the damage as much as possible.

The mysterious vending machine in front of the school store sold strange boxed drinks you could not find in ordinary convenience stores. They looked like knockoffs of certain brands, but they tasted pretty good, so they were not to be underestimated.

One sports drink called SPORTOP had won my heart. Its flavor was like cheap candy, openly challenging the recent trend of sugar-free, low-calorie products. I admired its rebellious spirit, and it did not taste bad either.

I slipped a hundred-yen coin into the vending machine, which hummed like an aerial fortress, bought SPORTOP and Vegetable Life 100, then put in another hundred-yen coin.

It felt strange for only two of the three of us to have drinks, so I bought Yuihama a can of Man's Cafe Au Lait too.

That came to three hundred yen total, cutting my wealth in half. I was nearly bankrupt.

"You took too long."

Yukino's first words were a complaint. Then she snatched the Vegetable Life 100 from my hand, stuck in the straw, and began drinking.

I still had SPORTOP and Man's Cafe Au Lait in my hands. Yuihama seemed to realize who the café au lait was for.

"...Here."

Yuihama took a hundred-yen coin from a coin purse shaped like a tiny shoulder bag.

"Oh, no need."

Yukino had not paid either, and besides, I had bought the drink without asking Yuihama first. I had a reason to ask Yukino for money, but none to make Yuihama pay.

Without taking the coin from Yuihama's hand, I placed the café au lait in her palm.

"B-but I can't!"

Yuihama insisted on making me take it, but I did not want to deal with the question of whether she should pay, so I simply walked over to Yukino. Yuihama muttered something and reluctantly put her change away.

"...Thank you."

After quietly thanking me, Yuihama smiled as she held the café au lait with both hands, looking a little embarrassed. That was the best thank-you I had ever heard in my life.

Getting that smile for only a hundred yen was a bargain.

Feeling satisfied, I asked Yukino about what had happened earlier.

"Are you done talking?"

"Yes. Thanks to you not being here, it went very smoothly. Thanks."

That was the worst thank-you I had ever heard in my life.

"...That's great. So what are we doing?"

"We're going to the Home Economics Classroom. Hikigaya-kun, you're coming too."

"The Home Economics Classroom?"

That place! A classroom where people gathered with like-minded companions and carried out a torture ritual called cooking. It was like an iron maiden. There were knives and gas stoves inside too. Extremely dangerous. It should be banned. Absolutely banned.

"What are we going there for?"

The Home Economics Classroom, Physical Education Class, and school trips were the three great traumatic holy lands. Normally, nobody would voluntarily set foot in one. Thinking about how a group of friends would be chatting happily, then immediately fall silent the moment I joined them... that feeling was awful.

"I... I want to make cookies..."

"Huh? Cookies?"

I was completely confused, so that was all I could say.

"Yuihama-san wants to make cookies herself and give them to someone, but she lacks confidence, so she asked our club for help."

Yukino cleared up my confusion.

"Why do we have to help... Shouldn't you ask a friend about something like that?"

"Ugh... Th-that's because... I don't want anyone else to know. If they found out, they'd definitely think I was stupid... This isn't something you ask friends about..."

Yuihama's gaze kept wandering as she answered.

I could not help letting out a small sigh.

Honestly, I could not think of anything more boring than caring about someone else's love life. Learning one more English word would be more meaningful than knowing who liked whom, not to mention that I had to help with it.

That was how uninterested I was in romance-related topics.

I had thought they were going to discuss something serious, but it was just this... Still, that put me at ease. Whenever someone came to you with romantic troubles, all you had to say was, "Good luck! You can do it~~" And if they failed, you could settle it with, "That guy was total trash~~"

"Ah!"

Thinking that, I accidentally snorted with laughter and met Yuihama's eyes.

"Ah, ah..."

Yuihama lowered her head, speechless. She tightly gripped the hem of her skirt, her shoulders trembling slightly.

"H-ha ha... It's weird, right? Someone like me making homemade cookies would just look like I'm pretending to be innocent... Sorry, Yukino. Maybe I should forget it."

"I don't care if you give up... but you don't need to worry about that guy. He has no human rights right now, so I'll force him to help."

Apparently, the Constitution of Japan did not apply to me. What kind of exploitative company was this?

"Oh, no, no! It really is ridiculous, and it doesn't suit me... Besides, I asked Yumiko and Mari before, and they said this kind of thing wasn't in fashion anymore."

After saying that, Yuihama glanced at me. Yukino, meanwhile, added another stab.

"...Yes, homemade cookies really don't seem like something a glamorous girl like you would do."

"R-right? It's weird~~"

Going along with Yukino, Yuihama laughed, "Ha ha ha~." Her slightly lowered gaze happened to meet mine. Under her stare, it felt like I needed to say something too.

"...It's not that I think it's weird, or that it doesn't suit you, or that it clashes with your personality, or that you're unworthy of it or anything. I'm simply not interested."

"That's even worse!"

Yuihama angrily slapped the table in protest.

"I can't believe you'd say that, you shut-in! Ah~~ I'm mad! Let me tell you, if I put my mind to it, I can do anything!"

"That's not for you to say. Your Mom has to look at you with tears in her eyes and say it, like, 'I thought you could do anything if you just put your mind to it.'"

"Your Mother already gave up on you, didn't she?"

"A very appropriate judgment."

Tears welled at the corners of Yuihama's eyes, while Yukino nodded emphatically.

Mind your own business!

Still, being abandoned by your mother was pretty sad.

I felt bad about throwing cold water on Yuihama when she was so fired up, and this was a competition, so I reluctantly agreed to help.

"I can only make curry, but I'll help you out."

"Th-thank you."

Only then did Yuihama relax.

"No one expects anything from your cooking. You only need to help taste-test and give your opinion."

As Yukino said, if they wanted a boy's opinion, I could indeed be useful. Plenty of guys disliked sweets, so I should be able to help find a flavor they would like. Besides, I was hardly a picky eater. I thought most food tasted good.

...That should count as helping, right?

The Home Economics Classroom was filled with the sweet scent of vanilla essence.

Yukino skillfully opened the refrigerator and took out ingredients like eggs and milk. Then she brought out a scale and bowls, clattering as she prepared spoons and other cooking utensils.

Was she some kind of all-purpose superhuman? Maybe she was even excellent at cooking.

After quickly getting everything ready, Yukino put on an apron and prepared to begin the main event of the day.

Yuihama put on an apron as well, but she did not seem used to it. Even tying the knot was a complete mess.

"Your knot is crooked. Can you not even put on an apron?"

"Sorry, thanks... Huh! I know how to put on an apron!"

"Then put it on properly. If you do everything carelessly, you'll become as hopeless as that guy."

"Don't use me as a teaching example! Do you think I'm Namahage?"

"This is the first time in your life you've helped someone, so be happy about it... Oh, and although I said you were Namahage, I wasn't making any special reference to your scalp. You can rest assured."

"I've never worried about that... Stop it, don't look at my hair with that gentle smile..."

To escape the smile Yukino would normally never show, I covered my hairline with my hand.

Yuihama watched us from a short distance away and giggled. Her apron was still not properly tied.

"You still haven't put it on right? You actually don't know how to wear it, do you... Sigh, come here. I'll tie it for you."

Yukino helplessly beckoned to Yuihama.

"...Is that okay?"

Yuihama looked back and forth between Yukino and me, murmuring hesitantly. She looked like a child who had lost her way.

"Hurry up."

Yukino's cold voice cut through Yuihama's hesitation. She seemed impatient. It was a little scary.