Social Anxiety and the Rock of Loneliness

Ryo glanced at her twice, then shifted her gaze to Ishikawa Hayato, who was preparing.

After plugging in the power amplifier and all the cables, he flipped the synthesizer's switch.

"MUSIC ON."

"Hey, sis, I'm going to check on Ryo and the others."

After spending quite a while finishing up, Nijika couldn't help worrying when she saw that Ishikawa Hayato and the rest still hadn't come out of the rehearsal room.

She waved at Seika and hurried over to the rehearsal room.

"Tickets go on sale soon."

Seika reminded her.

"I know."

Nijika said without looking back, not slowing her pace.

For all that Ryo seemed lazy and laid-back, when she got serious about teaching, she was merciless. Hayato-kun was also straightforward by nature, likely to take whatever she said to heart. Kita Ikuyo was still an unknown, but she seemed to admire Ryo a lot.

In other words, right now, the rehearsal room was Ryo's one-woman show.

She braced herself mentally before entering.

She opened the door.

She saw Ishikawa Hayato playing the keyboard, and two people leaning against the wall with their arms crossed, trying to look cool.

Well, it wasn't too terrifying.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

Only... wasn't Hayato-kun's keyboard playing noticeably better?

Ryo, leaning against the wall, caught a discordant sound in the room. She slowly opened her eyes and looked toward the door.

Seeing Nijika frozen in surprise at the entrance, she walked over.

She patted Nijika on the shoulder.

"This kid is a genius. No, a freak."

Having received Ryo's seal of approval on his skill, Ishikawa Hayato flashed a brilliant smile and gave a thumbs-up, but the movement of his other hand instantly turned manic, blurring into a phantom streak across the keyboard.

"The liberation of humanity brings about transcendence of body and spirit. Every advance in human society is rooted in the liberation of the inner self."

"In other words, as beings of complete mental liberation, freaks are invincible."

"The ultimate form of humanity is the freak! There's no doubt about it!"

Ishikawa Hayato spread his arms wide like a preacher, his face radiating sanctity, as he proclaimed his freak philosophy to the three girls and two adult women.

But clearly, no one could follow him.

Everyone wore awkward expressions that said, You sound impressive, but I'm not going down that dark path.

"Uh, ah, right! So that's why Hayato-kun is so amazing. Let's sit down."

Nijika hesitated for a moment, then reorganized her thoughts and called Ishikawa Hayato back to his seat.

Ishikawa Hayato sat back down and looked at the group. Ryo and Kita were lost in thought, while Nijika seemed pretty cheerful.

Nijika lightly clapped her hands to snap the two back to attention, then said, "So, Hayato-kun is already at a level where he can perform on stage. Ryo and I are fine too, and Kita-chan is an experienced guitarist..."

Her face lit up with an expression of long-awaited anticipation as she pressed down on the table excitedly, leaning forward.

"I'm going to ask my sister to let us perform on stage!"

Kita Ikuyo, still not fully recovered from Ishikawa Hayato's overwhelming skill and his absurd justification, agreed instinctively.

"Yeah."

Yeah?

What did she just agree to?

Perform?

When?

Aaaaaaahhh!!!

"I'm fine with it."

Ryo's expression remained as calm as still water, but a hint of interest could be felt in her slightly quicker speech.

Ryo-senpai!!

Kita Ikuyo was on the verge of tears. Even she knew that learning guitar wasn't something you could master in a flash. There was no way she could get on stage in such a short time.

Someone save her—she'd do anything! Come on, some god!

But the last person in the band completely ignored Kita Ikuyo's inner thoughts and spoke with a smile.

"Let's go, pervert!"

Kita Ikuyo's heart was already dead.

"Then I'll go ask my sister."

Nijika stood up with a radiant smile, her expression so full of happiness, like she was walking the path of her dreams, that just watching her felt healing.

But that couldn't save someone who was about to break.

"Um... um..."

Kita Ikuyo tried to explain... explain...

As she spoke, the others' gazes turned to her.

More than anyone else, what Kita Ikuyo cared about was the look from Ryo-senpai sitting across from her—that calm, expressionless face made her nervous.

She imagined what Ryo-senpai's expression would be if she said she couldn't play guitar at all.

No, more than what expression she'd make, her impression in Ryo-senpai's eyes would be ruined forever, never to be looked at straight again.

Trash who lied about music—Ryo-senpai looked down on her with piercing, condescending eyes.

"Kita-chan, what's wrong?"

Nijika asked, puzzled.

But even a social butterfly had things they feared, words they dared not say.

"Um, well, it's nothing."

Kita Ikuyo lowered her head, looking crushed by guilt.

Ishikawa Hayato watched Kita Ikuyo, who said nothing, and sighed.

15. Sincerity

Nijika and Ryo weren't stupid; they could naturally notice Kita Ikuyo's troubled expression.

But the way she'd immediately responded earlier kept them from thinking she didn't want to play.

Noticing her sneaking glances at Ryo, they assumed she was worried about coordination with Ryo, or minor things like playing style.

"It's fine, we'll practice together before the show. And it's just a cover of a popular song, right, Ryo?"

Nijika finished and turned to Ryo for confirmation.

And despite Ryo's occasional snarky remarks, she still cared about her companions.

"Yeah, a relaxed performance."

"Ri... right..."

Before Kita Ikuyo could finish, Seika-manager's voice called out to Nijika from the side.

"Customers are here."

"Okay~"

Nijika replied in a cute, high-pitched voice, then said to the group.

"Then let's talk tomorrow. Good work, everyone."

"Yeah."

Ishikawa Hayato nodded, then stood up.

"I'll head back too."

"Bye." Ryo waved.

"Me too."

Kita Ikuyo looked determined, slung her guitar over her back, and followed Ishikawa Hayato toward the livehouse exit.

"Kita-chan, take care."

Nijika stood at the counter, calling out from afar to Kita Ikuyo, who was on the stairs.

But Ishikawa Hayato, a few steps ahead of Kita Ikuyo, froze at the words, full of question marks.

He knew Nijika was reminding Kita Ikuyo not to overthink things and to stay alert on the way home, but he couldn't shake the feeling something was off.

Leaving STARRY, walking up from the sunken stairs to ground level, the city's hustle and the lonely wind rustled Ishikawa Hayato's school uniform, but he stood still like an iron tower.

He looked up at the sky, which showed a roasted orange-blue.

Another fine day.

But today had a mark against it.

He turned back, watching Kita Ikuyo with her head down, pausing his steps to wait for her to catch up.

Meanwhile, one or two chatting customers heading to the livehouse passed by him, full of anticipation, happily talking.

Kita Ikuyo, head lowered, reached the top step of the stairs. Sensing a figure beside her, she looked up.

Ishikawa Hayato stood still in place, as if deliberately waiting for her.

Kita Ikuyo forced a smile onto her face, then asked Ishikawa Hayato.

"Ishikawa-kun, what's wrong?"

"When you run into trouble, cut it off cleanly. Running away isn't a bad thing either."

Ishikawa Hayato hinted at something, reminding her.

Kita Ikuyo thought for a moment, then was startled—had he seen through her?

Seen through that she couldn't play guitar?

"Um... Ishikawa-kun..."

Her voice hesitant, she tried to explain, but instead heard Ishikawa Hayato speak calmly, his tone different from his usual excited one.

"Since we're in the same band, you can just call me by my first name. Also, I'm looking forward to your performance."

What did that mean?

Kita Ikuyo was confused.

First he told her to run away, then he said he was looking forward to the performance—she was completely baffled.

But sensing the concern in Ishikawa Hayato's words, Kita Ikuyo still nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, I'll do my best."

The next day, Ishikawa Hayato sat on the train, a synthesizer manual in hand, leaning back against the seat, lazily reading through the tutorial.

Since there was no school today, he wore a three-quarter-sleeve jacket over a white T-shirt, paired with dark casual pants, and his crossbody bag lay tossed beside his seat.