Social Anxiety and the Rock of Loneliness

Ishikawa-kun!

He really came to find her again!

She had just decided this morning to keep her distance.

But since she'd already agreed, Gotou Hitori didn't dare run away.

Wailing inside, she sat slumped on the ground in a loose-legged pose, her unopened bento resting on her track-pants-clad thighs, waiting for Ishikawa Hayato.

Ishikawa Hayato walked in from outside, climbed over the abandoned desks and chairs, and after slipping through, found a pink-haired beauty in the dim corner—expression tense, body curled up, bento in hand.

"Sorry for the intrusion."

He smiled and waved.

"Ah, yeah."

She dodged Ishikawa Hayato's gaze, nodding faintly in response.

"Can we eat together?"

Ishikawa Hayato showed no sign of losing his desire to talk, even though her reaction was weak.

Refuse, refuse! Refuse!!

She'd decided to keep her distance.

"Ah, go ahead."

Gotou Hitori hated herself—hated that she couldn't say no.

Just as she was wallowing in self-pity, she heard Ishikawa Hayato say this.

"Gotou-san is really gentle with people. You care more about others than yourself."

Ishikawa Hayato looked around. It was dark and cramped, not dirty, but hardly the best spot.

"You clearly hid here to eat alone and avoid people, yet you still agreed to let me have lunch with you."

Gotou Hitori's heart gave a sudden, sharp thump.

No one had ever said that to her before. She'd never even thought of it herself.

For a moment, she felt as if the clouds had parted in her heart.

She looked at Ishikawa Hayato again. In the dim corner with little light, his gaze was calm and untainted, radiating a strong yet harmless presence.

He wasn't the kind of person with an unreasonably happy life.

The tension in her eased quite a bit.

Over these two or three days of contact, she'd gradually come to feel that he really did mean well.

Finally, she leaned forward slightly and took the initiative to ask Ishikawa Hayato.

"Ishikawa-kun, why... why did you pull me into the band?"

Faced with her question, the boy before her spoke in a very calm tone.

"Because I heard a cry for help."

The hero, not shining with light and brilliance, sat before her with an approachable attitude, as if pleading with her to accept his help.

"Gotou-san, you actually want to change, don't you? Showing up to school dressed like that on the first day—you wanted friends, wanted to form a band."

"In the band I'm in, everyone is really good people. Even someone inexperienced like me was accepted. You brought your guitar to school, so you must have confidence in your playing."

"Come with us and leave some good memories."

Watching Ishikawa Hayato's outstretched hand, Gotou Hitori hesitated for a long time. She opened her mouth but didn't know what to say.

Everything she'd ever wished for seemed laid out before her, waiting for her response in a very real, simple state.

Like a dream.

Gotou Hitori thought.

It might never come again in her lifetime.

Hitori, go for it! Say yes!

Finally, without thinking, she pinched the hem of her clothes, wiped away the sweat she wasn't sure was there, held her breath, mustered her courage, and grasped his hand.

The boy's firm hand, clearly radiating warmth, tightened around hers for a moment before letting go.

After he released, Gotou Hitori lowered her head, her long bangs completely covering her eyes.

She trembled, speaking in a nervous, almost regretful murmur.

"Wait..."

She said this, making Ishikawa Hayato pause in confusion.

"Wait... at least let me mentally prepare a little..."

At that moment, the boy revealed his true, mischievous nature.

"Anytime is fine..."

He paused, a playful tone in his voice.

"Though I'd like to say that, I'll only give Gotou-san one month to think it over."

Gotou Hitori looked up in panic at his words, seeing Ishikawa Hayato's sly grin before her. She listened like a small, trembling animal.

"If after a month, Gotou-san still isn't ready, and still looks like someone who wants to change but doesn't dare, I'll drag you out myself."

"By my..." Ishikawa Hayato hesitated.

"Pervert's honor."

14. Growth

"Pervert..."

Gotou Hitori didn't understand. Someone as pure and sincere as Ishikawa-kun—why would he call himself a pervert?

Unable to judge her feelings toward Ishikawa Hayato in that moment, she instead tried to understand who he was.

After returning home, puzzled, she opened her computer to look it up.

The definition and explanation of "pervert."

In the end, amidst the sea of negative descriptions, she found one.

"One who changes from their original form into an abnormal state."

"Change... state? Pervert?"

She blinked uncertainly.

When Ishikawa Hayato arrived at STARRY, he saw the three people chatting happily at the tables, along with PA sister and Seika-manager busy at work.

People's joys and sorrows don't connect—they laughed, they worked.

Seika-manager was pitifully putting in overtime, her gaze frequently drifting toward Nijika, who was happily chatting at the table.

Noticing her sister's stare but too embarrassed to abandon the new member, Nijika could only clasp her hands together behind her back, out of Kita Ikuyo's sight, begging desperately.

Seika stopped several times, wanting to get Nijika to work, but each time she gave in and kept her head down, continuing her labor.

A scene worth observing, indeed.

Ishikawa Hayato felt the urge to capture it on camera.

But if he did, Seika-manager would definitely make sure he died with rhythm.

A little while passed.

Ishikawa Hayato saw that no one had noticed his arrival yet. As a pervert, how could he tolerate that?

Without hesitation, he leaped down from the seventh step, landing in an Iron Man pose.

"Pervert has arrived!"

Hearing this long-awaited savior's voice, Nijika looked over in surprise, then stood up very naturally.

"Ah, Hayato-kun, perfect timing. Kita-chan has decided to join our band too."

Kita Ikuyo, still seated, heard the familiar voice behind her. She hunched her shoulders for a moment, then quickly turned around, greeting Ishikawa Hayato with some awkwardness.

"Ishikawa-kun, hello."

"Mm. Welcome."

Ishikawa Hayato smiled to show his stance, but didn't act overly familiar. He then spoke to Ryo, who looked bored beside him.

"Ryo-sensei! Check out my growth today."

Seeing him like this, Kita Ikuyo breathed a sigh of relief. After all, what she'd done before was still too obvious.

Seeing that he either didn't care or hadn't noticed, she relaxed and calmed down.

But when she heard Ishikawa Hayato immediately single out Ryo-senpai upon arrival, she tensed up, her gaze shifting between the two.

"Alright."

Ryo perked up a little.

"I-I want to watch too."

Kita Ikuyo quickly added, then stood up, afraid the two might slip away.

"Great, then I'll go help my sister. We'll play after that."

Nijika clapped her hands in relief, then awkwardly clasped her hands behind her back and took a few small steps backward before immediately turning and running toward Ijichi Seika.

"Then let's go."

Ishikawa Hayato said, pulling a synthesizer out from somewhere.

Ehhh?!

"Where did you pull that from!?"

Kita Ikuyo stared in disbelief—she hadn't seen Ishikawa Hayato carrying his keyboard on his back at all just now.

Questioning her own existence, Kita Ikuyo looked to the side and saw Ryo-senpai with a serious expression.

"How impressive."

Hearing that Ryo-senpai's surprise was completely off from her own, and that she wore an expression as if this were the natural order of the world, Kita Ikuyo was stunned.

Noticing Kita Ikuyo's expression, Ryo-senpai's gaze lingered on her face for a moment before she explained.

"This is the state of unity between person and instrument for advanced performers. Most outstanding players can do it, but it's not easy. Even I can only manage it when my emotions are running high."

Huh?

Kita Ikuyo began to doubt the world she'd lived in for fifteen years. Wasn't this supposed to be an ordinary world?

But... Ryo-senpai said so much!

Today was too blessed!

If Ryo-senpai said it, then it had to be right—this world had magic!

Without hesitation, Kita Ikuyo updated her worldview.

Following the two into the rehearsal room, Kita Ikuyo looked around with great interest.

On the shelves were tuners she couldn't figure out how to use, amplifiers of various brands and models piled in the corner, a music stand tossed aside, and a large drum set.

The walls felt fuzzy to the touch—was it made of some special material? It seemed a bit like the walls in a movie theater.

So this was a band? It felt so professional.

She kept her mouth tightly shut, not letting a hint of surprise show, while slowly scanning the room, putting on an air of appraisal.