Heaven's Punishment

Wood Spirit continued chattering away in dissatisfaction.

Su Xuan rubbed his forehead. He had already been feeling irritated, and now this guy was making it even worse.

"I should never have brought you out."

Wood Spirit immediately bristled and demanded of Su Xuan,

"You ungrateful bastard! I just helped you solve a huge problem, and this is how you treat your lifesaver?"

Su Xuan felt that this idiot was beyond help and did not want to pay it any attention.

Yet Wood Spirit refused to let it go, accusing Su Xuan of being ungrateful, breaking his word, tearing down the bridge after crossing it, repaying kindness with resentment, and biting the hand that fed him...

Su Xuan finally could not take it anymore. He cut off Wood Spirit's rambling and said,

"Could you stop using my face? Watching you use my own face to curse me is too jarring. I can't listen to any of it."

Wood Spirit was humble and eager to learn, sincerely taking the advice of its "archenemy," Su Xuan.

After pondering carefully for a moment, Wood Spirit said gloomily, "But this is the best-looking face I've ever seen. Other faces aren't as handsome as this one. I-I'm not willing to settle."

Su Xuan was somewhat speechless.

"Can you only use other people's faces? Can't you use your own?"

Wood Spirit said somewhat irritably,

"But I'm a tree. Where would I get a face?"

Su Xuan found that strange and asked in surprise,

"Don't you favored children of heaven and earth have faces when you take human form?"

Wood Spirit said speechlessly,

"That's true, but the face you get when taking form is rather random. It's based on your own traits. Someone like me is naturally handsome, but I'm a tree—a mature, steady kind of tree.

"The face I get would probably be mature-looking. I might not like it, but I really like your face. Why not just use yours directly?"

Su Xuan was speechless. It sounded so reasonable.

Then another question occurred to Su Xuan.

"You said you're a tree and don't have a gender. Can you turn into a woman?"

Wood Spirit stared at Su Xuan in horror and said in a panic,

"I thought of you as a brother, but you actually have ideas about my ass? But give up. There's no future between us. After all, I'm just a tree. I can't have children. Farewell, my good brother."

Su Xuan's face darkened. How had he never noticed this guy was so obnoxious before?

Having been steeped in twenty-first-century internet culture just like Su Xuan, Wood Spirit was cheeky as hell. Besides, if counted from birth, he really was only six years old. He had merely inherited plenty of knowledge; his personality was still childish and mischievous.

"Stop messing around!"

Wood Spirit stopped talking, stroked his chin, and said flirtatiously,

"What is it, Master Xuan? Want to give it a try?"

Wood Spirit used Gu Yuena's voice, making it as coquettish as possible, while wearing Su Xuan's face.

Goosebumps covered Su Xuan's body as he roared,

"Do that again, and I'll make you crawl back into that crappy little tree of yours."

Looking aggrieved, Wood Spirit swiped a hand across its face. Fine—this time it had Gu Yuena's face and Su Xuan's voice.

In a nauseating tone, it said,

"Don't be like that, Brother Xuan."

Su Xuan had never imagined that one day he would hate his own voice this much.

Su Xuan said nothing more. He simply grabbed Wood Spirit, ready to send it back.

Wood Spirit knew Master Su Xuan was serious this time.

It hurriedly changed back into Su Xuan's green-faced appearance and said in a normal tone,

"Master, Master Xuan, I was wrong. Don't throw me back."

Su Xuan stared coldly at Wood Spirit and said in an icy voice, one word at a time,

"Use—your—own—face!!!"

Looking aggrieved, Wood Spirit was enveloped by surging green light.

A moment later.

A cute little girl's voice came from within the green light, sweetly saying,

"Brother Xuan."

Su Xuan's face went dark as he asked,

"Why are you female?"

Wood Spirit stepped out of the light as a delicate, sweet-looking little girl.

It answered sweetly,

"Because I feel like you're a horny old pervert. To satisfy you, I chose a female form."

Su Xuan rubbed his forehead. What kind of awful thing was that to say?

With a dark expression, Su Xuan coldly ordered,

"Turn into a man!"

Wood Spirit said aggrievedly,

"I gave you my first time—taking human form—and you still can't be a little gentler with me?"

Su Xuan's voice became even more merciless.

"Change!!!"

Wood Spirit could not afford to provoke him. Now that it had left its true body, it was no match at all for the villainous Su Xuan.

It muttered a few curses under its breath, calling Su Xuan ungrateful, faithless, one who tore down the bridge after crossing it, one who repaid kindness with resentment, one who bit the hand that fed him...

Su Xuan pretended not to hear. It was good enough that Wood Spirit listened; he did not expect it to be especially obedient.

The green light faded, revealing a handsome young boy. In terms of delicate features, he was only slightly inferior to Su Xuan. However, Su Xuan's face carried a gentle bearing—the buff from his golden moral aura—that Wood Spirit could never match.

But the most jarring thing was not Wood Spirit's refined features. It was the beard on those rosy lips. A handsome young boy's face with a beard was simply horrifying.

Looking aggrieved, Wood Spirit tearfully accused Su Xuan of his evil deeds.

"I told you already! Because of my bloodline, my face would look mature, but subconsciously I also wanted a young boy's face. But who could have guessed that the laws of heaven and earth would make me grow a beard to show maturity?! And it's the kind that can't be shaved off! Wuwuwu, heaven is jealous of genius! Su Xuan, compensate me!"

Su Xuan had not expected that either, but he was already trying his hardest to hold back his laughter.

Now that Wood Spirit started crying about it.

Su Xuan could not hold it in any longer. He sat on the ground and laughed until he rolled around, showing Wood Spirit absolutely no mercy.

Wood Spirit cried even more bitterly.

Seeing this, Su Xuan stopped teasing it and comforted it,

"It's fine. There are always more solutions than problems. We'll think of something eventually. If not, can't you just change to another face?"

Wood Spirit cried,

"What the hell do you know? This beard can't be removed anymore. Even if I change into your face or a woman's face now, I'll still have a beard."

"Pfft."

Su Xuan could not help letting out another gloating laugh.

Wood Spirit felt even worse as it looked at this awful guy.

Su Xuan stopped laughing and decided to change the subject. He asked Wood Spirit,

"How do you trees reproduce if you don't have genders?"

Wood Spirit had cried enough by then, but it was not in the mood to talk. It answered coldly,

"Self-fertilization."

"Oh."

Su Xuan had learned something new.

After that, Su Xuan began chatting idly with it...

Gu Yuena and Bibi Dong had already gotten fully dressed.

They sat on the bed and had basically returned to normal.

Yet when they thought about what had just happened, their cheeks still burned.

Gu Yuena could not help breaking the silence first.

"Where did Brother go? He still hasn't come back."

Bibi Dong looked at Gu Yuena speechlessly. I've been with you the whole time. How would I know...? She said softly,

"It's fine. Your brother isn't some clueless child. He'll come back on his own."

Gu Yuena still looked worried.

Her gaze never left the outside of the tent.

At that moment, rustling footsteps sounded outside the tent.

Su Xuan warned in a low voice, "I'll go in first. You can only come in after I say so. Understand?"

Wood Spirit said unhappily,

"I don't even have a gender. What are you so worried about?"

Su Xuan could not be bothered to explain and simply added,

"Stop talking nonsense."

Then Su Xuan walked straight into the tent.