Shit Escape Is Absolutely Out of the Question

"What? Crawling into the toilet?" Aaron stared at Bard with wide eyes. "I would rather die than agree to this. I've never been so wronged in my life."

"Escape by shitting," what an idea!

Although he is not from this world, if he does this, going to the toilet will be a nightmare from now on.

The dwarves glared at them angrily, their hearts filled with resentment. If word got out, their lifelong reputation would be ruined, and how would they ever face the world again?

"That's the safest route; no one would have thought of it," Bard forced a smile. "And don't get me wrong, our toilet goes straight to the lake below; it's not dirty at all."

"That's not right either," Aaron said angrily.

"Fine!" Bard shrugged helplessly. "You can go to my house openly and then be discovered by the watchers, and then by the mayor."

I don't care much; at worst, I'll get a beating, or worse, be locked up for a while. But you'll definitely be caught and sent to the Woodland Realm.

Upon hearing this, Thorin remained silent for a long time before finally speaking, "We agree."

"Thorin." Dwalin stared at him in utter disbelief, utterly bewildered. "You, you can't..."

"Why not?" Thorin retorted. "Is the journey more important, or is that little bit of self-respect more important?"

We're running out of time. We can't afford any mistakes. If we miss this opportunity, we might never have another chance.

Hearing this, the dwarves could only reluctantly accept this route, since personal honor and disgrace were incomparable to rebuilding the Dwarf Kingdom.

"You can go if you want, I absolutely, absolutely, absolutely will not go that way," Aaron said with considerable disgust. "Even if I die, die outside, jump off this cliff, I will not learn the shit escape technique."

"Aaron, just bear with it, it will pass," Bilbo patiently advised.

"Don't try to persuade me. I have some connection with the Elf King. Even if I get captured, it won't hurt me."

"But this isn't just your doing!" Balin said in a deep voice. "We're a team. If you're exposed, we won't be able to escape either."

"Gaius," Thorin looked at him intently, "Don't forget the contract you signed. You can't act impulsively now."

"You..." Aaron laughed in anger, "Go on! I'm not going to pretend anymore."

"That's right, I'm a Warlock. Magic allows me to hide from ordinary people and won't hold the team back."

"But you don't even have Wand anymore," Bilbo said weakly.

Aaron glared at him fiercely. How come I never noticed you were such a chatterbox before?

"Are you confident?" Thorin asked seriously.

"I am absolutely certain."

"Then could you help us too...?" Dwalin asked impatiently, a glimmer of light appearing in his eyes.

Upon hearing this, Aaron gave him a gentle smile. "I'm sorry, I may have to disappoint you, but I'm not that great."

I am that powerful, casting the Disillusionment Charm on more than a dozen people is not a big deal, but who told you to force me to use the Shit Escape technique?

It's not very harmful, but extremely insulting.

Dwalin and the others looked embarrassed and stopped trying to force the issue.

"Have you discussed it?" Bard asked. "If you have, come with me."

He led the group down a narrow path, but just as they turned a corner, they encountered a young boy.

"Dad, our family is being monitored."

"Your son?" Aaron sized up the young man, estimating he was a few years older than him.

Bard nodded, then looked at his son, "Don't worry, Bain."

"You stay here with Gaius. I'll go give the others directions and be right back."

After saying that, Bard led the others through the streets and alleys, telling them the location of his house and emphasizing the sign for the toilet, afraid that they might go to the wrong place.

When he returned, he saw Aaron grabbing his son and asking him all sorts of questions, from his age and education to his living conditions.

"Ahem! We should get going. How do you plan to get to my house?" Bard asked Yu. "If you regret it now, I can take you there again."

"No need." Aaron snapped his fingers, and his body instantly became transparent.

Bard was still a little shaken, and although he was shocked, his expression remained relatively calm.

Bain stared in disbelief, his hand trembling as he pointed at the transparent area in front of him. "Dad, Dad, Dad, can you see that?"

He's gone invisible? He really has gone invisible.

"I saw it, I'm not blind."

"A simple Disillusionment Charm," Aaron said calmly. "Now you can lead the way without worry."

Bard and Bain exchanged a glance and silently left the alley.

To avoid being discovered by their surveillance team due to the discrepancy in the timing, they made a point of going to the market and buying some useful items as cover.

As they approached their home, the three of them climbed the stairs.

Bard threw a fruit to the two people fishing below his house, saying, "You can tell the mayor that I've finished all my work for today."

A little girl saw Bard come in and happily hugged him, "Dad, where have you been?"

Another, slightly older girl also gave him a hug, saying, "Father, you're back! I was so worried about you."

"Here you go, Sigrid." Bard smiled and handed her the things he had bought from the market.

"What a harmonious family!" Aaron remarked with emotion.

"Who's talking?" The eldest daughter Sigrid, looked around in surprise.

"Yes, it's Warlock, a Warlock," Bain said firmly, then looked to his side. "Gaius, show them."

Aaron shrugged and then dispelled the Disillusionment Charm.

When the eldest daughter, Sigrid, saw Aaron, her eyes widened in surprise. She had never seen such a handsome man before.

"He really is Warlock." The younger daughter looked Aaron up and down curiously. "Can you teach me magic?"

"Uh... it depends on talent. Some things you can't just learn if you want to," Aaron said tactfully. Warlock are quite rare in this world, and this family doesn't have any Warlock blood at all.

"Bain, let them in."

"I'll go too," Aaron said, full of interest. "Where's your toilet?"

"Come with me!" Bain shrugged and led Aaron down the stairs.

He looked at the unobstructed lake in front of him, and after confirming that no one was watching him, he patted the wooden board on the wall.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

A bald man emerged from the toilet. Dwalin looked at Bain with extreme seriousness and warned, "If you tell anyone about this, I'll twist your hand off."

Aaron looked at Dwalin, whose face had turned black, and couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"You still dare to laugh?" Dwalin's face darkened even more. "And you, if you dare to tell anyone, I'll rip your tongue out."

"Hahaha..." Aaron clutched his stomach. "I'm so sorry, I've also been rigorously trained. No matter how much people laugh, I won't laugh unless I can't help it."

Also, I admire your attitude, but unfortunately, you can't beat me, hahahahaha..."

Dwalin, his eyes blazing with anger, glared fiercely at Aaron before lifting the toilet lid and climbing out of the lake.

Bain tried to pull him up, but he slapped his left hand away, saying, "Don't touch me."

"Go up that way." Bain pointed to the stairs, then pulled Bilbo out of the toilet, followed by the third, the fourth...

With each person who came out, Aaron's undisguised laughter stabbed at the heart. By the time he got to the last person, Aaron managed to suppress his laughter.

It's already quite remarkable that Kili has managed to hold on this long. If he gets agitated by this taunt, the poison might spread even faster.

"Dad, why are these dwarves crawling out of our toilet?" Sigrid asked.

"That was a brilliant finishing blow," Aaron thought to himself. He had just felt Kili stagger, which was undoubtedly a devastating blow to his heart.

"Will they bring us good fortune?" the younger daughter asked excitedly.

"Not necessarily." Aaron patted her head and put a gold coin in her pocket. "But I will bring you good luck."

"Here's your allowance, brother."

After everyone came out, they all gathered around the fire.

Winter is approaching, and they spent nearly half an hour in the cold lake, each of them shivering from the cold.

Bard distributed the blankets and his clothes from the house, and the three siblings even poured each of them a cup of hot water to warm them up.

Sigrid handed the water glass to Aaron. "Do you need some?"

"Thanks, but you don't need the water, just give me the glass." Aaron then took out the bottle of wine. "I have this."

Aaron opened the bottle and poured a full glass, the rich aroma immediately filling the room.

"Wine," Oin murmured, and the others also turned their attention to the wine bottle, swallowing hard in unison.

"Hey, hey, hey, have some manners, will you?" Aaron glanced at everyone with disdain, picked up his glass and took a big gulp. "It tastes good, better than Bilbo's brew."

"Why does this look like a key?" Bain asked, looking at the bottle stopper with a puzzled expression.

"Cough cough!" Aaron almost spat out the wine he had half-drunk. "Don't worry about the details. If you want it, I'll give it to you. If you don't want it, just throw it away."

Bain paused for a moment, then picked up the cork and threw it into the fireplace, adding a touch of warmth to the house.

"The Dwarven Wind Crossbow." Thorin stared blankly at a dilapidated tower outside the window, on which sat a large crossbow.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Bilbo said.

"Indeed," Balin explained. "The last time we saw these crossbows, the town was engulfed in flames."

On the day the dragon arrived, the same day Smaug destroyed Long Lake Town, Long Lake Town Girian, rallied his archers to attack the dragon.

However, dragon scales are extremely hard, even harder than the strongest armor. Only Black Arrow fired from Wind Crossbow can penetrate them, but such arrows are very rare.

When Girian delivered his final blow, there were very few of these arrows left.

"If Girian had actually hit the dragon that day, everything would have been different," Thorin said regretfully.

"You talk as if you were there at the time," Bard said as he came over.

"Perhaps he really was there," Aaron shrugged. "After all, he's a dwarf, and they are all dwarfs."

"Then they should know that Girian shot the dragon, leaving a scar on its left wing. One more shot would have killed the dragon."

Aaron spat out a mouthful of amber liquid, staring at Bain in astonishment. "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely true."

"Where exactly is it? Is it near the heart?" Aaron asked anxiously. If nothing unexpected happened, they were about to slay the dragon, and it was necessary to find out every weakness of the evil dragon.