Wall Slam

Wall Slam

Listen to Stephen Chow's original line from the movie:

"The restaurant counters should be as narrow as possible, and the stools as small as possible. If customers are comfortable, make sure they aren't. Once they've finished eating and lifted their asses, they'll leave. Make the straws as thick as possible and the ice cubes as big as possible. Once they finish one drink, they'll order a second. Are you new here? Do I have to teach you this too?"

Stephen Chow was called the God of Cookery, but his actual cooking skills were quite average. If Special First-Class Chef and Senior Technician were the highest realms for chefs, then he was probably only at the level of a Level Three or Four Intermediate Chef, not even reaching Level One or Two Senior Chef.

His strongest skill was marketing and hype. He had forcefully packaged himself as the God of Cookery.

After the movie ended, Jiang Hao considered what preparations he needed to make for this transmigration. Overall, there was nothing dangerous in this movie; the good guys and bad guys were obvious at a glance.

His task was simply to go there and eat, sampling food to collect "Taste of Gourmet Food." He still didn't know who he would transmigrate into. What if he became the villain Tang Niu? He might even end up as some random extra.

In that case,

Okay.

Then let's begin.

"Accept mission."

"Mission: Enter the world of the movie 'God of Cookery' and collect 'Taste of Gourmet Food.' Would the collector like to accept this order?"

Jiang Hao pressed the accept button.

Whoosh~

The scene around him changed. Jiang Hao found himself on a bustling, noisy street surrounded by stalls and food vendors. People drank, chatted, and laughed merrily in Cantonese, yet Jiang Hao could understand them.

A stream of information entered his mind, and he learned his current identity.

He was Stephen Chow, the protagonist of this movie. Walking over to a nearby display window, he used the glass reflection to inspect his appearance. He wore a slightly wrinkled suit, and as for his face... well, it was that same damned look.

And this place was Temple Street.

He had already been framed into bankruptcy, was penniless, and drowning in debt. Starting on his knees, straight into hell difficulty—this was no fun at all.

He bared his teeth at the glass. "No fear. The original him wasn't afraid, and I, Jiang Hao, won't be either."

Still, after looking over the noisy Temple Street, he decided to leave. Because next, over a bowl of Mixed Offal Noodles, he would get beaten until his face was covered in blood. Bricks and folding stools—the weapons from the Seven Weapons—would all be used on him. He had no desire to go looking for trouble.

As for Stephen Chow's romantic affair,

"What the hell does that have to do with me?"

At a round table on Food Street, a group of colleagues from a television station were having a late-night snack. A bespectacled girl kept eyeing the guy standing before the display window and making faces.

When the girl got a clear look at him, her eyes lit up. She secretly rejoiced. That's right, it had to be him. Just coming out for a late-night snack, and she had caught a news story. Tomorrow's work could be finished ahead of schedule.

She had even thought of the headline: "Former God of Cookery Falls to Temple Street, Suspected of Begging for Food."

Hehehe.

"Hey, I'm going to the restroom," the girl said to the colleagues beside her. The others were having too much fun drinking to care, merely waving her off.

The girl slung her bag over her shoulder, circled around, and came up beside Jiang Hao.

She suddenly pulled a camera from her bag and began snapping furiously at Jiang Hao. Jiang Hao jumped. "What are you doing?"

"You're Stephen Chow, right? I'm a reporter from the ATV News Department. I'd like to interview you. As the God of Cookery, a business elite once worth hundreds of millions, what are your thoughts on ending up on Temple Street eating street food?" the girl rattled off at lightning speed.

Thoughts? Screw your thoughts.

"Did you ever think you would face this kind of retribution? Do you regret it? Do you feel remorse toward the general public of diners?"

The female reporter was sharp-tongued, her questions cutting and vicious. Behind her glasses, her eyes gleamed with excitement.

Jiang Hao turned and left. He had no desire to deal with anyone right now, much less a reporter.

Seeing him leave, the girl chased after him and shouted, "Stephen Chow! Hey, stop! I want to interview you!"

Jiang Hao ignored her and quickened his pace.

When the girl saw that the more she shouted, the faster he ran, she got angry and started running too. Jiang Hao saw this and ran as well. The two chased each other out of Temple Street before long, reaching a relatively quiet street.

"Hey, stop!"

"Huff, huff~"

"I refuse to believe I can't catch you today! I was in the athletics club in college!"

The bespectacled reporter was truly tenacious. She pursued him relentlessly. Jiang Hao turned into an alley, and the woman gritted her teeth and chased after him. The moment she entered the alley, she saw Jiang Hao standing there. She ran straight into him.

"Ah!" the reporter cried, stumbling several steps back until her body pressed against the alley wall. Jiang Hao stepped forward, braced one hand against the wall, and glared fiercely at her.

A textbook Wall Slam pose.

The reporter was startled. She squeezed her eyes shut and shouted, "What are you trying to do? Don't do anything rash! I'll scream for help! If you dare molest me, you won't get away!"

Jiang Hao was furious. "You chased me across two streets. Do you really think I don't have a temper?"

The woman opened her eyes and glared at Jiang Hao, putting on a fierce but inwardly timid act. "Didn't I say I'm a reporter? I want to interview you. I have the right to do that."

"And I have the right to refuse an interview. Don't you know that behaving like this makes people hate you?" Jiang Hao leaned his head closer, frightening the reporter into drawing back her neck and dodging away.

"But since you delivered yourself right to me, don't blame me. Hehehe!"

A wicked grin appeared on Jiang Hao's face, a classic villainous expression that frightened the woman into screaming, "Ah! Molestation!"

Jiang Hao had only wanted to scare her off and make this annoying reporter disappear.

Thinking about his current situation, Jiang Hao was completely bankrupt. He did not have a single cent in his pocket, and even food would be a problem from now on. His former mansion had been sealed up, and he did not even have a place to sleep. He did not know whether he would be sleeping on the streets tonight.

He wanted to complete the mission and eat gourmet food from all over the world? Heh, even filling his stomach was a problem now.

Looking at the screaming reporter before him, his eyes shifted, and an idea suddenly came to him. "Hey, stop screaming. Do you want to become famous?"

The reporter froze, stopped screaming, and looked at Jiang Hao. "What did you say?"

"I asked if you want to become famous, to become a renowned reporter," Jiang Hao said.

"Of course I do."

"I have an idea. I guarantee it'll make you famous."

"What idea?" the reporter asked blankly.

Jiang Hao straightened up and dusted off his suit. "I haven't eaten yet, and after running all this way, I'm a little hungry now. You're treating me."

The reporter sized him up from head to toe, somewhat doubtful. "You aren't just trying to trick me into buying you a meal, are you? Hmph."

"At most, I'll accept your interview," Jiang Hao said.

Hearing that, the reporter thought it seemed acceptable. "Then let's go back to Temple Street."

Jiang Hao shook his head. "How could I, the mighty God of Cookery, possibly eat from Temple Street food stalls? At the very least, it has to be somewhere on Da Fu Gui's level."

"Da Fu Gui? I can't even afford to eat at Da Fu Gui once on a month's salary. Give it a rest. I know a small restaurant nearby. Take it or leave it," the reporter said angrily.

"A small restaurant? That'll do, I suppose," Jiang Hao said reluctantly.