Horatio Hanging from the Lamppost

On the fourth day of the semester, as Hermione was having lunch in the Great Hall, she saw Horatio eating a bowl of golden chicken nuggets with potatoes, mushrooms, and green peppers, mixed with rice, and devouring it all.

"Horatio, what are you eating? It smells so good!" Hermione said, swallowing as she smelled the faint aroma of soy sauce in the air.

"Ah? This is my homemade braised chicken, authentic flavor. I just used a little magic, no artificial additives or fancy tricks." Horatio popped a piece of chicken thigh with a slice of mushroom into his mouth, then shoveled in several more mouthfuls of rice soaked in the braised chicken sauce, a blissful expression on his face.

"The chicken was a rooster raised by Hagrid himself, guaranteed safe and healthy. I traded a flying dragon toy for it with Hagrid." Horatio gave some to Hermione and glanced disdainfully at Harry, who was looking at him with longing from across the table. "What do you want, house elf unit number two? I'm reminding you, it's time for you to go work in my greenhouse. You don't want to become Miss Potter, do you?"

Horatio still gave some to the pathetic Harry. "You should be happy to have a boss like me who's so good to his employees. 997 is your blessing. Oh, and your salary has been increased by one Sickle."

Hermione asked, a little confused, "What the heck is 997? You even pay Harry a salary?"

Harry calmly replied, "997 means working from 9 AM to 9 PM, seven days a week. And he means he pays me, not the other way around."

Harry had completely given up resisting. Since he couldn't fight it, he might as well accept it. After all, he could really learn Herbology knowledge in Horatio's greenhouse. Recently, Professor Sprout had been very pleased with him because he had earned Gryffindor points in Herbology class.

Just as Hermione was about to say something to Horatio, he shut her up by waving Harry's indenture in front of her. She could only resentfully attack the braised chicken on her plate, praying that Horatio would one day be hanged from a lamppost.

In the afternoon was Lockhart's Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Speaking of Lockhart, one couldn't help but mention his rumored girlfriend, or perhaps boyfriend, Ron.

After all, this was England, the birthplace of "Brokeback Mountain." Although Ron felt a sense of social death, he found that the young witch not only didn't show disdain towards him but actively engaged him in conversation, which he found quite pleasing.

Arriving at the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, Horatio stacked Lockhart's seven books together, used them as a shield in front of him, and promptly fell asleep on his desk.

A moment later, Lockhart entered the classroom. He made a shushing gesture, quieting the chattering young wizards below the podium.

He reached out and picked up "Voyages with Vampires," holding it up to display the smiling photo of himself on the cover.

"Me," he said, pointing to his photo and flashing the same smile. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class; Honorary Champion of the Dark Arts Defense League; five-time winner of Wizarding Weekly's Most Charming Smile award. This year, I will be your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, but I will need an assistant to help with my teaching."

He then looked at Ron with deep affection. "Mr. Ron Weasley, would you be willing to be my assistant?"

The young witches in the audience, influenced by the "Brokeback Mountain" culture of Great Britain, couldn't help but gasp.

Lost in the cheers of "Say yes!" from the girls, Ron, blushing, nodded his head.

"I see you've all bought my complete works. I think we'll start with a little quiz today. Mr. Ron, could you help distribute these papers?" Lockhart said.

Ron stepped forward, took the bundle of papers from Lockhart's hand, and distributed them one by one to the young wizards present.

"Very good, thank you for your help, Mr. Ron. Gryffindor gets five points."

Due to popular demand from readers, we are now offering an ad-free VIP membership.

Click to view

When Ron distributed the papers to the sleeping Horatio, emboldened by Lockhart's presence, he wickedly shook Horatio awake and said, "Horatio, how dare you sleep in class? Get up, there's a pop quiz."

The young wizards present looked at Ron as if he were a warrior. Harry was already calculating if he had enough money to buy Ron a coffin.

"Speak, how do you wish to die?" Horatio, woken up, looked at Ron with icy eyes and took out a bottle of pink potion from his bag. "Prepare to say goodbye to your little 'ju-ju' forever."

Lockhart stopped Horatio, who was about to shove Ron onto the desk and force-feed him the potion. "Mr. Horatio, please release Mr. Ron."

Horatio let go of Ron's collar, who was struggling, and turned to look at Lockhart with a hostile gaze.

"Mr. Horatio, I've heard many rumors about you at school. But as a holder of the Order of Merlin, Third Class, I am obligated to correct your behavior," Lockhart said sternly.

"Oh, so you mean you want to duel me." Horatio drew Ringo from his clothes, swept his thick bangs from his forehead with his hand, revealing his bright blue eyes and fair forehead.

"No, no, no, you're not dealing with me. You're dealing with the most evil thing known to the wizarding world." Lockhart bent down, pulled a large, cloth-covered cage from behind the podium, and placed it on the table.

He lifted the cover, revealing a cage full of pale blue imps. They were about eight inches tall with pointed faces, and they were frantically clawing at the edges of the cage, emitting sharp screeches at the young wizards outside.

"Hahaha, I thought you'd bring out something dangerous. This? Cornish Pixies, rated 3X for danger." Horatio put away Ringo, clutching his stomach as he laughed uncontrollably.

"Don't underestimate them. They are cunning little destroyers, like devils!" Lockhart pulled open the cage door. "Now, let's see how you deal with them."

The imps shot out of the cage like rockets, causing chaos throughout the classroom. Two of them flew over and tried to grab Horatio's ears and lift him up. Horatio casually unleashed Fiendfyre, burning them to ashes.

Lockhart stood on the podium, dodging the imps' attacks, seemingly wanting to see how Horatio would handle them.

Horatio said with disappointment, "How dare you, mere insects, be in the same classroom as this king who should be looked up to. Such disrespect is punishable by death."

With that, countless golden ripples appeared behind Horatio, and various weapons slowly emerged from the golden ripples. They then flew rapidly through the air, slicing the imps still causing trouble in the classroom into pieces one by one.

The imps were quickly chopped into pixie paste by the weapons, and then they turned their attention to Lockhart, surrounding him.

Horatio slowly walked towards Professor Lockhart, who had fallen to the ground in fear, and whispered in his ear, "Professor, do you know how the previous Defense Against the Dark Arts professor died? If you don't want to end up like him, don't provoke me."

Then Horatio snapped his fingers, and the weapons in the air turned into golden dust and disappeared.

Horatio turned and walked towards Ron, who had collapsed on the ground in fear. "Come on, let's continue our punishment. Do you want to drink it willingly, or shall I help you?"

Ron looked angrily at the stunned Lockhart. It's all your fault for those little witches constantly bragging about you to me. I thought you could take down Horatio, but you're just a good-for-nothing.

Knowing he couldn't resist, Ron took the potion from Horatio's hand, gritted his teeth, and drank it in one gulp.

Fred and George lost a brother, but gained a sister.

Due to popular demand from readers, we are now offering an ad-free VIP membership.

Click to view