Horatio came outside the Great Hall, soothed the frightened Dementors, and said to Jerónimo, "Who exactly are you, sir? Why can you use magic that drives away my Dementors?"
Jerónimo replied, "I was introduced by Jǐn zhú from Qiān niú cūn. He thought your academy was pitiful, with no young Wizards willing to join, so he gathered readers to enroll in your academy."
Horatio suddenly understood. "So you're the esteemed readers who are only a tiny bit less handsome than me. Welcome to Azkaban. Our academy's slogan is: Use the Unforgivable Curses however you like, and get a Dementor study companion just for enrolling.
"As for anyone wanting to conduct human experiments, go back to the dormitories before doing that. We still have to give Old Deng some face, after all."
One young wizard timidly raised his hand. "Won't using the Unforgivable Curses get us sent to Azkaban?"
"Huh?" Horatio asked in confusion. "You're already in Azkaban, and you're still afraid of being sent to Azkaban? Don't worry. Even if you set Hogwarts on fire or blew up the Ministry of Magic, this dean can cover for you..."
Just as Horatio smugly preached the benefits of joining Azkaban Academy to the young Wizards, Professor McGonagall snuck up behind him, grabbed his ear, and roared, "What nonsense have you been filling these new students' heads with?"
Horatio calmly stated that those born into the Southwest F4 had long since become immune to having their ears pulled. "Aren't I promoting the true kindness, goodness, and beauty of Azkaban to the new students?"
"The true kindness, goodness, and beauty of Azkaban?" Professor McGonagall stared at Horatio in disbelief.
"Exactly. Truly cruel, skilled in using the Dark Arts, and beautifully torturing opponents. Isn't that true kindness, goodness, and beauty for short?"
Professor McGonagall finally