The pressure of survival, combined with the person she was most familiar with pretending to be.
Together, these ultimately created her acting skills that were so difficult to see through!
To avoid being bullied, Karuizawa deliberately disguised herself as someone who was not easy to bully.
But soon, Karuizawa realized that this was not enough.
After all, she was only pretending. She merely "looked difficult to bully," but in reality, she did not possess the confidence of someone who was difficult to bully.
In fact, this disguise of hers was not particularly well-liked and could easily provoke hostility from others.
Once someone among those who disliked her showed a little courage and decided to try opposing her,
all it would take was a casual test to effortlessly pierce through her disguise, turning her from a domineering delinquent into a punching bag who could only endure whatever came her way.
After realizing this, Karuizawa became extremely panicked and tried to find a stronger form of protection.
Soon, Karuizawa came up with an idea. Since she was not strong enough herself, she only needed to find someone powerful to rely on.
After that, Karuizawa began searching for someone who had the ability to protect her and was willing to accept her reliance.
Hirata was the person Karuizawa had chosen—the person she believed could protect her and was willing to let her rely on him.
Actually, Karuizawa had not originally planned to approach Hirata with a request so soon.
As the saying went, "Time reveals a person's heart."
It had not been long since they had started, and Karuizawa was still uncertain whether the way Hirata currently acted reflected his true self.
What if he appeared to be a gentle, sunny boy on the surface, but was actually someone who enjoyed playing with girls' feelings and then extracting leverage from them to threaten them?
Karuizawa had witnessed too many dark things. She had even been a victim of some of them.
Therefore, she had planned to observe him for a while longer before making a decision.
However, what had happened over the past few days forced Karuizawa to drastically shorten her observation period for Hirata.
Over the past few days, that guy named Bai Lan had glared at her with a terrifying look every time he entered the classroom.
Once, Karuizawa felt that she had even seen something extremely familiar in the eyes of that guy named Bai Lan...
She remembered!
Back then, when those girls had held down her hands and feet and stabbed her abdomen with a utility knife as if they were playing around, making her experience the feeling of being on the brink of death for the first time,
the look those girls had given her had felt very similar to the look in Bai Lan's eyes!
Karuizawa felt that both their eyes concealed something incredibly frightening.
Although Karuizawa had successfully handled the situation with acting skills forged under the pressure of death threats and had not exposed herself, she was actually scared to death. Amid her anxiety and fear, she felt as though she was about to collapse.
Karuizawa felt that she was about to be unable to keep acting. She could not hold out until the end of the "observation period."
Once she could no longer keep acting, Karuizawa's true nature would definitely be exposed.
Rather than let that happen, she might as well take a gamble, skip the "observation period," and directly seek help from the only person she could think of relying on—Hirata.
And so, today's secret meeting between Karuizawa and Hirata came about.
In addition, the complete version of what Karuizawa and Hirata had actually discussed during this secret meeting was as follows:
Karuizawa: "Hirata, didn't you say you would help everyone?"
Hirata: "Yes, Karuizawa. Is there something you need my help with?"
Karuizawa: "Someone wants to bully me."
Hirata: "Who?"
Karuizawa: "I don't know, but I know that if you refuse to help me, someone will bully me very soon. It's been like this from elementary school through middle school. It's always been like this. Someone always comes to bully me.
They only bully me because they think I'm easy to bully. That's why, ever since enrolling, I deliberately acted like someone who wasn't easy to bully. I was afraid someone would come and bully me.
But I know I'm a fake. I'm not nearly as formidable as I pretend to be.
My words and actions can let me pretend to be strong, but they'll definitely make some people unhappy. Once someone tries to deal with me and I'm unable to fight back, I'll be exposed very soon. They'll realize that I'm easy to bully... I don't want to be bullied!"
Hirata: "Then I'll say something to everyone and ask them to get along with you properly, all right?"
Karuizawa: "No! Just saying that won't help! It'll be just like those teachers in the past."
Hirata: "Then how do you want me to help you?"
That was the part Bai Lan had completely failed to hear because he was too far away.
From here on was the complete version of the part Bai Lan had heard.
Karuizawa: "Hirata, I need you to protect me. Could you be my boyfriend 'in name'?"
Hirata: "Why does it have to be in the name of being my girlfriend? Wouldn't that be deceiving everyone? I can't agree."
Karuizawa: "You're popular in class. If you're my boyfriend, they'll see us as one unit. I can borrow your influence. They won't want to offend you, so naturally they won't dare bully me! Please agree. I think Bai Lan has disliked me for a long time. These past few days, he never fails to glare at me when he enters the classroom.
Especially the day before yesterday. The look in his eyes that day was truly terrifying!
Do you know?
I was almost bullied to death in the past. They held down all four of my limbs and stabbed me here with a utility knife. I almost died. The eyes of those people who bullied me looked very much like Bai Lan's eyes.
The way he looked at me that day scared me so much..."
Bai Lan did not know that the looks he used every day to test Karuizawa would frighten her so badly, or that they would even lead to this meeting between Karuizawa and Hirata tonight.
No—more precisely, even without Bai Lan's tests, Karuizawa would eventually have sought out Hirata, and might even have sought out Bai Lan.
After all, if Bai Lan had not frightened Karuizawa with his eyes, then given Karuizawa's intelligence, she might already have been successfully fooled by Hirata into believing that "Bai Lan is a good person who would even sacrifice himself to help others."
So this meeting would have happened in the end anyway.
After hearing what Karuizawa had said, Hirata instinctively wanted to say a few good things about Bai Lan: "No, I don't think Bai-san is that kind of person. You shouldn't be afraid of him. On the contrary, Bai-san is actually a good person."
However, Karuizawa trusted what she had seen more. She completely ignored Hirata's praise of Bai Lan and said, "If you refuse to be my boyfriend, someone will soon try to bully me through methods other than words.
My disguise is only strong when it comes to verbal intimidation. If they use another method, I'll definitely be exposed. Once I'm exposed, I'll definitely be bullied.
Once they bully me, they'll discover that I'm easy to bully, and then they'll only become more aggressive.
After that, I'll definitely be in danger—possibly even danger to my life!
Hirata, please help me. I'm so scared!"
60, I Want You to Be My Girlfriend
"I don't think everyone in Class D would do something like that. You don't need to worry so much. You'll definitely be able to get along well with everyone."
Seeing Karuizawa act as though "everyone will bully me," Hirata felt that she was thinking too poorly of everyone. He thought this was bad for unity, so he instinctively tried to speak up for the others while also trying to reassure her and keep her from being too afraid.
However, Karuizawa interpreted it only as Hirata—the person she regarded as her lifeline—refusing to help her.
Having lost the only person she could think of relying on, Karuizawa's eyes immediately dimmed. She looked as though she had lost all hope of living and was preparing to wait for death right there.
Seeing this, Hirata hurriedly said, "All right, I can lend you the 'name' of my girlfriend. When you need it, I'll cooperate with you. But I'm sorry, I have many people to help and will be very busy, so I can't spend much time pretending to be a couple with you. However, if someone asks me to confirm our relationship, I won't deny it."
That was what Karuizawa and Hirata had discussed during their meeting tonight.
Although Karuizawa had been telling Hirata about her painful past in hopes of gaining his help,
perhaps because she was too afraid, that fear had instead made her increase her defenses. As a result, while saying all this, she had subconsciously maintained the forceful attitude she had put on.
Thus, although she was "asking" for help, her tone sounded as though she were making a demand or issuing an order.
This was also one of the major reasons Bai Lan had misunderstood Karuizawa.
If she had trembled or cried while saying these things, then no matter what, Bai Lan could not possibly have misunderstood her, right?
While crouching with her head covered, Karuizawa imagined the miserable future awaiting her in prison after the things she had hidden were exposed.
After a long while, Karuizawa suddenly felt that something was wrong. She wondered whether she had overlooked something extremely important that might threaten her safety.
Soon, Karuizawa realized what it was and cried out:
"Wait!
I've already read his message.
Shouldn't I reply to him quickly?
If I don't reply quickly, and he sees that I've 'read but not replied,' will he think I'm disrespecting him and provoking him? Will he get angry and bully me?"
What often defeated fear was an even greater fear.
Under the pressure of fear, Karuizawa released her hands from over her head, picked up her phone, and began replying to Bai Lan's message.
Karuizawa felt that it was possible Bai Lan was actually bluffing her.
Or rather, she was harboring a small hope that things might turn out in her favor.
Karuizawa did not directly show that she believed Bai Lan's words. She decided to maintain her usual forceful attitude and replied with:
"What do you mean? I don't understand. Don't bother me!"
After receiving Karuizawa's reply, Bai Lan said nothing more. He simply typed on his phone:
"The phone issued by the school doesn't have very good audio reception. It didn't pick up as much as my ears heard at the scene, but it still captured some interesting content."
He then attached the recording.
Send.
With that, Karuizawa could no longer keep pretending to be ignorant.
After seeing Bai Lan's latest message, Karuizawa indeed abandoned her hopes of getting lucky.
However, unlike Bai Lan,
what Karuizawa cared about was not the recording, but the person who had made it!
Judging from the movement of the image in the recording, the camera had been operated by hand. That meant the person who recorded it had been at the scene.
If even the phone's recording had captured so much of their conversation, then human ears, which were better at picking up sound, must have heard even more!
"It's over...
The person I'm afraid of knows that I'm weak and easy to bully!
It seems he even wants to use this matter to make me do something for him?"
Before you continue