The Sage of Idle Tales
Chapter 2

The Heavenly Dao's Parental Simulator

1,540 words•5 min read•10 views
17d ago•

Chen Luo opened his eyes once again and felt a wave of dizziness. It was clearly a lingering effect of having been beaten earlier. After resting for a while, Chen Luo finally looked around.

Unlike the first time he had awakened lying in a coffin, this time Chen Luo was sleeping on an embroidered bed. Gauze curtains hung around it, with embroidered pillows and brocade quilts, while the faint fragrance of flowers and grass tickled his nose. With a slight turn of his thoughts, Chen Luo realized that this was his elder sister Chen Xuan's boudoir.

Turning his head, he indeed saw Chen Xuan asleep with her head resting on the table in the room. Chen Luo carefully studied her. In his predecessor's memories, Chen Xuan was a woman with ruthless methods. She treated him fairly well, but he had never dared grow too close to her.

In Chen Luo's eyes now, his predecessor had practically had a pig's brain. If Chen Xuan had been placed on the Blue Star of his previous life, she would absolutely have been a stunning beauty with tens of millions of fans.

Sure enough, in a younger brother's eyes, even the most beautiful elder sister looked like a flower.

Unfortunately, this body was now that of a younger brother.

Chen Luo sighed inwardly. Without disturbing the sleeping Chen Xuan, he instead began sorting through his thoughts...

Clearly, the dream he had just experienced meant that his cheat had finally arrived.

It was that Brief Biography of Zhong Kui!

That wasn't entirely accurate, though. Strictly speaking, his cheat should be all the books he would obtain in the future.

At this point, he had to revisit his predecessor's memories.

This was a Xianxia World, but unlike the cultivation worlds of refining qi that Chen Luo had read about in web novels in his previous life, the way people gained power in this world was—through reading books.

It was said that the written language of this world had once been projected by the Heavenly Dao. Such writing was called "Elegant Script," and by reading classics transcribed in Elegant Script, one could obtain extraordinary power from them.

Reading Confucian classics could nurture Righteous Qi; reading Daoist scriptures could give birth to Innate Origin Qi; reading Buddhist sutras could lead one to comprehend the True Meaning of Reincarnation.

Thus, three Heavenly Cultivation Roads had been created: Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism.

As a result, in this world whose cultural level resembled that of China during the Tang and Song dynasties, the three teachings of Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism flourished. All kinds of classics were as numerous as fish in a vast sea and stars scattered across the heavens—more than could be counted.

But!

No matter how many books there were, they were all classics of the three teachings.

This world had no opera from the pear gardens, no storytelling scripts or popular tales.

There were no Four Great Classical Novels, no Four Dreams of Linchuan;

no strange tales and legends from the Tang, no novels from the Ming and Qing;

no mythological stories, no records of ghosts and monsters;

no Pu Songling, no Wu Cheng'en;

no Tang Xianzu, and no Feng Menglong;

From this perspective, it was practically a cultural desert.

And in his dream, Chen Luo had learned that the sea of flowers in which the Dream Pen Blooms appeared contained every imaginable book outside the classics of Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism.

A complete collection of extracurricular reading!

"I wonder what effects those books have. And Brief Biography of Zhong Kui looks like it's tailor-made for ghost-catching, but will it really work?" At that thought, Chen Luo sat up in bed, preparing to write down the Brief Biography of Zhong Kui in his mind and give it a try. However, the instant he rose, he woke Chen Xuan, who had been sleeping soundly.

"Xiao Luo!" Seeing that Chen Luo had awakened, Chen Xuan immediately pounced on him and hugged him tightly. "You're finally awake. Does your head still hurt? Are you hungry? Or do you want some water?"

Held tightly in Chen Xuan's arms, Chen Luo's face instantly flushed bright red. In his previous life, thanks to all those short-video apps, Chen Luo had seen plenty of beautiful women, but his only truly intimate physical contact had been shaking hands.

"I-I'm fine..." Chen Luo answered stiffly.

"Wait, why is your heart beating so fast?" Chen Xuan flipped her delicate hand over and placed it on Chen Luo's wrist, frowning slightly. Then she reached over and touched his forehead. "Why is your face so hot? Wait here. I'll have the steward call for a physician..." As she spoke, Chen Xuan rose and started toward the door. Chen Luo hurriedly grabbed her. "Wait."

Chen Xuan turned her head, her elegant brows knitting together. "What is it?"

Chen Luo quickly replied, "I'm fine. I'm probably just overheated under the quilt. Look, it's better now."

Chen Xuan placed her hand on Chen Luo's pulse again. After sensing that his pulse had indeed returned to normal, she nodded. Glancing at the quilt, she said, "A ritual was performed in your room earlier. It's inauspicious for you to sleep there now. I'll have Xiao Huan bring in a thinner quilt for you."

Chen Luo nodded. Chen Xuan looked him up and down once more before finally leaving the room.

After seeing Chen Xuan leave, Chen Luo let out a long breath. To be honest, he still needed to do some psychological preparation for how he was going to get along with this beautiful elder sister from now on.

Incest was fine to think about, but if it actually happened, it would be the death of him!

With only Chen Luo left in the room, he climbed down from the bed, casually slipped on his shoes, and walked over to the desk. He spread out a sheet of paper, dipped his brush in ink, and began writing the Brief Biography of Zhong Kui. Thanks to his predecessor's memories, Chen Luo had completely mastered Elegant Script, and his calligraphy was also above average.

Chen Luo held the brush and was just about to lower it onto the blank paper when he suddenly felt an immense force descend upon him, stopping him from writing.

"Is this... the Heavenly Dao Power?" Chen Luo was bewildered again. His predecessor's memories had mentioned that in this world, anyone who wished to write books or compose essays had to conform to the True Meaning of the Heavenly Dao. This was also the fundamental reason reading could grant power. Without the Heavenly Dao's approval, it was impossible to put brush to paper successfully. For this very reason, the only books written in Elegant Script in this world were the classics of the three teachings.

This Heavenly Dao was just like a parent overseeing a child entering middle school—no idle books allowed in the house!

Just then, Chen Luo seemed to see the Brief Biography of Zhong Kui that had appeared in the Dream Flower Sea emerge on the blank paper beneath his brush. The illusion vanished in a flash, but almost at the same time, Chen Luo sensed that the Heavenly Dao Power pressing down on him had also disappeared.

"So that's how it is. Only books obtained from the Dream Flower Sea can be written beneath this world's Heavenly Dao and receive its approval." Chen Luo came to a realization. "If I tried to write Journey to the West now, then even if I only recited it aloud, the Heavenly Dao Power would probably leave me unable to get a word out..."

With that thought, Chen Luo wasted no time and immediately began writing the Brief Biography of Zhong Kui.

The Brief Biography of Zhong Kui was not long, only a few hundred words. The piece came from the Comprehensive Mirror of Immortals Through the Ages, also known as the Record of the Common Origin of Three Teachings, a long vernacular novel from the Qing dynasty.

"Zhong Kui was a native of Mount Zhongnan in Shaanxi. Even in his youth, he possessed outstanding talent... Thus, Emperor Xuanzong of Tang ordered Wu Daozi to paint a picture of Zhong Kui catching ghosts as seen in his dream, and hung it in the palace to ward off evil and suppress demons."

When Chen Luo set down the final character, the paper suddenly rose into the air without any wind, floating in midair. The words written in ink on the paper suddenly blazed with golden light, and within that radiance, a figure slowly poked his head out from the page. In only a few seconds, an ugly, burly man rose from the paper and landed before Chen Luo.

The ugly man stood nearly two meters tall. He had a leopard's head and ringed eyes, an iron-colored face, and a bristling beard. His features were ferocious. He wore a red court robe and a zhuangyuan's cap. With a solemn expression, he studied Chen Luo for a moment, then clasped his hands, bowed respectfully, and said—

"I am Zhong Kui. Greetings, my lord!"

One must sing by day and drink to one's heart's content. Any favorites or recommendations?

Please favorite, recommend, and vote for the monthly...

End of Chapter
Novel
How was this translation?

Explore the wiki