You Said There Was a Calamity in Your Fate, but You Never Said It Was a Porsche

After returning home, Lin Li showered and went to sleep. When he woke up again, it was already noon.

After having a Chinese buffet at the Community Cafeteria, he went back home and continued translating the Body Tempering Eight Section Exercise.

Time passed quickly. With the groundwork from before, his pace afterward was quite fast, and after two days, the translation was nearing its end.

Lin Li had been feeling pretty great, enjoying the sense of conquest that came from painstakingly translating something and arriving at the correct answer—until—

"Why are there reference answers at the end?!"

But Lin Li quickly realized something was off. He had skimmed through everything at the beginning; there was no way he could have missed such a large section of modern text.

"Translation is a necessary process? Only after I 'comprehend' it will the answers appear, to keep me from getting details wrong?"

This technique was smarter than the system.

It was a good thing, so Lin Li stopped dwelling on it.

The first, third, fifth, and seventh chapters did not require Spiritual Qi assistance, while the other four did.

The odd-numbered chapters counted as one body-tempering method, while the even-numbered ones were another. Not learning the second chapter would not prevent him from directly starting the third after the first.

As for the grand promise the technique had made him—if he could master it completely, even without relying on Spiritual Qi at all, his bodily functions could rapidly improve and approach the limits of humanity.

Of course, that humanity did not include Fanma Yongciro.

Lie Haiwang did not count either. Lin Li would never forget the sight of that guy surviving with only a head and a baby's body.

As for the Spiritual Energy Chapter, it would reshape his body into a form Spiritual Qi liked, turning him into a pom-pom ball for Spiritual Qi.

It would improve his efficiency in using Spiritual Qi, allowing one unit to be used as two when using or absorbing it in the future.

To Lin Li, this was more important than absurdly powerful Spiritual Qi Sensitive Skin.

After all, he really was "poor."

Though splitting zero in half still made zero.

After seeing that grand promise, Lin Li became even more motivated.

On Sunday morning, Lin Li trained with even greater enthusiasm. Even after completing the task, he practiced another round.

However, his body's response was far worse than before.

His body was more tired, and mentally he did not feel nearly as refreshed.

After thinking it over, Lin Li figured the schedule given by the system was probably the most suitable duration and time period for practicing the technique. There was no need for him to gild the lily.

But Lin Li had noticed something too.

Old Zhou really was planning to secretly learn his technique.

No respect for his age.

For the past two days, the old man had not practiced Tai Chi at all, or if he did, he only went through the motions. His peripheral vision was entirely focused on Lin Li—Lin Li noticed it every time he took a brief break.

Good thing he was an old man. Otherwise, Lin Li would have thought he had a crush on him.

Perhaps it was precisely because he was a martial artist that he could immediately see how extraordinary the Body Tempering Eight Section Exercise was.

Lin Li still could not underestimate the people of the world.

The old man was just a little too brazen. Whenever Lin Li looked at him, Zhou Youwei never showed the slightest fear and met his gaze with a righteous expression.

How could he steal so openly? Still, Lin Li had no plans to change where he practiced.

After all, he was a Martial Arts Youngster who had accompanied him through a mission. This could count as returning the opportunity to him—besides, it would be difficult to successfully steal the technique anyway. If he did succeed, then good for him.

Sunday night.

Although it was technically still the weekend, for the students of Nansang Middle School, everything was already over.

So when Lin Li arrived at the classroom, everyone looked lifeless, as if their souls had left their bodies.

Most of them were already seated, starting on the weekend homework they had not touched at all.

The weird kids in the back row were not part of that majority.

Not because they had finished their homework, but because they were cherishing their final dozen or so minutes of freedom.

"Yellow Sky above, if I listen to 'The Clock of the Opposite Direction' once, can I go back to the weekend?" Bai Bufan stood on the storage lockers at the back of the classroom with Zhou Baowei, praying loudly.

"Once probably won't do it, but if you listen to it for five days, you can go back to the weekend," said Lin Li as he set down his backpack.

"..."

"Damn, Lin Li, you really are a fucking genius at controlling time." Bai Bufan stopped himself several times before finally giving Lin Li a thumbs-up.

"Thanks. Damn, Baowei, what did you do this weekend? Did your Yang Energy get drained?" Lin Li clicked his tongue when he saw the dark circles under Zhou Baowei's eyes.

"He definitely spent the whole weekend being a Terracotta Warrior," Bai Bufan shrugged.

"Being a Terracotta Warrior is great. Guarding Ying Zheng feels good, everyone understands that, but you can't overdo it," Lin Li immediately caught Bai Bufan's meaning but still offered his advice.

"Can't be helped. You know Baowei's self-control. If he doesn't become a Terracotta Warrior for one day, he accumulates yang virtue. If he doesn't do it for two days, he accumulates even more yang virtue." Bai Bufan let out a long sigh.

"Then he really is beyond saving." Lin Li nodded.

Zhou Baowei's face darkened. "Can you two stop spreading horny rumors without even listening to the person involved? Fucking creeps. I just stayed up late grinding games, that's why I look like this."

You two animals were doing a comedy routine without caring whether the person involved lived or died, huh? The main problem was that the girls who had just come to the lockers to get something were looking at him strangely now! "Was it Genshin?"

"No."

"Thank goodness. There's still hope for you." Bai Bufan breathed a sigh of relief.

"What did it ever do to you?"

"So you didn't spend the weekend being a Terracotta Warrior?" Lin Li asked.

"...That's a separate matter." Zhou Baowei gave an awkward laugh, then lowered his voice. "But did you hear? A Massage Parlor near our school got shut down. They were secretly offering that kind of service. Apparently, someone reported them."

"How did you find out?"

"My brother's Blind Date, the one who loves traveling, got caught up in it. Then he found out through asking around. My parents have practically cursed the matchmaker's entire family tree to death."

"Was that fucking travel? She was flying all over the country!" Bai Bufan laughed.

"Yeah. My brother heard she liked the sea, but only now did he learn she liked the Mediterranean. She said she matured early, turns out it was because the Chairman had already trained her into the right format." Zhou Baowei curled his lip. "I'm pretty grateful to the guy who reported it. Otherwise, my honest brother almost became the one left holding the bag."

Lin Li smiled smugly.

He was the person involved. He had experienced the whole process. Bai Bufan and Zhou Baowei could rack their brains and never guess that the protagonist was right beside them.

After settling the matter, he brushed off his sleeves and left, hiding both his achievement and his fame. This was practically made for him.

"No need to thank him. It was what he should have done," Lin Li said with an ethereal smile.

"I wasn't planning to thank him." Zhou Baowei shook his head.

Lin Li: "?"

I just said that casually, and you really weren't going to thank him?

Why don't you bow to me a few times on behalf of your entire family?

"That's a separate matter. I hereby declare that he's expelled from the male sex and classified among the Sisters. May he lose ten centimeters." Zhou Baowei shook his head.

"Exactly. I bet he spent a ton of money, but he was too quick and finished in one minute. The more he thought about it, the more he regretted it, so he stabbed them in the back." Bai Bufan chuckled.

"Quick? That won't do!"

The two of them actually began making the most malicious assumptions about that hero.

Lin Li: "?"

That seemed a little disrespectful.

Men really did change faces too quickly.

"I don't think you should have so much malice toward a stranger." Lin Li shook his head. "The informant did a good deed in the end. This is completely different in nature from reporting websites or Group Chats."

"The reasoning is right, and what he did was right, but I still want to curse him." Bai Bufan nodded, then shook his head.

"Why?"

"Because I have no morals. Hang Dali helped solidify my values," Bai Bufan declared loudly.

"..." Lin Li had no response.

Sincerity truly was a guaranteed killing move. Bai Bufan was finished for life.

"I suddenly have something urgent to do. I need to go." Bai Bufan's expression changed when he noticed the students entering through the door from the corner of his eye.

"Lin Li! Hold this bastard down! Fuck, he actually hid back in the classroom. You really understand that the most dangerous place is the safest place. Good thing we came back to take a look." Another group of classmates who had been gaming together over the weekend strode over aggressively and shouted.

"What happened?" Lin Li asked curiously.

"Hehe, I admit I played a little badly this weekend, so I agreed that if you caught me before class, you could Aruba me. But sorry, class is about to start. As long as I run out the back door, everything will be over." Bai Bufan burst into laughter.

When someone was hungry, food arrived.

As expected of the protagonist chosen by the system. Lin Li smiled with satisfaction.

"Lin Li! Hold him down!"

"Lin Li wouldn't betray—"

Click.

Bai Bufan abruptly stopped talking and turned to look at Lin Li, who had locked the back door.

Lin Li did not look at him. Instead, he said to the classmates at the door, "I'm not very strong, so I was worried I couldn't hold him down. Locking the door is safer."

Bai Bufan: "?"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

As Bai Bufan was carried upside down, head below and legs above, slowly toward the doorframe, sadness burned in his Golden Eyes as they reflected his upside-down best friend. The Ancient Bell seemed to ring within him, and in his eyes hid a lion that had lost everything.

"Because Family Guy helped solidify my values. Gigity, gigity, all right~~"