Do You Admit This Is Your Butt?

Do You Admit This Is Your Butt?

The fourth day of insisting on getting up early, the third day of completing Task One.

I want to die.

At least during the first two days, he could go back to sleep after getting up. Thinking about how he would have to go straight to school after training today made Lin Li feel even worse.

Every morning, Lin Li could only rely on Kobe to comfort himself.

Man! What can I say? Black snakes, get out! Update complete.

Then he noticed a system message.

After blanking out for a moment, Lin Li was immediately a little delighted, then frowned again.

He was delighted that the system could actually update.

He frowned because he was worried the system had fixed the bug. After all, Lin Li was currently living off that bug.

As everyone knew, even if there was a bug, as long as the code could still run normally, no matter how much of a steaming pile it was, you absolutely must not touch it.

It couldn't be that it wanted him to transmigrate and deal with the Joyful Union Demon now, could it?

Lin Li carefully inspected the system and came to one conclusion. "What the hell did you even update?"

Nothing new had appeared, and nothing old had disappeared.

Anyway, Lin Li couldn't see any difference, and there wasn't even an update log or anything.

Forget it. He would leave it alone for now. There was nothing he could do about it anyway.

Wasn't putting his hopes in a low-IQ system itself a form of low-IQ thinking? "The sun shines bright overhead, Xiao Hua smiles at me. The little bird says fuck, fuck, fuck, why is there a bump growing on your brain~~" Singing this refined and friendly song, Lin Li arrived at the residential compound once more.

Strange. Why wasn't Xiao Zhou, who possessed Grandpa Sun's Dual Nature, at his usual spot today?

For the past three days, every time Lin Li came here, Xiao Zhou had arrived before him.

Hopefully, he hadn't fallen ill. Although Xiao Zhou had tried to scam him and wanted to steal his martial art, magnanimous Lin Li did not hold such things against him.

But if Xiao Zhou really had fallen ill, Lin Li wouldn't find it strange. After all, Lin Li was one of the people who had personally witnessed just how frail the man's body was.

An old man who could get a stitch in his side just from standing and breathing, or sitting down to rest.

Still, he hoped the old man was all right. Training his body alone was rather lonely.

Suppressing those thoughts, Lin Li threw himself into serious training.

For seven consecutive days, get up before Mao Hour and diligently practice the Body Tempering Eight Section Exercise. Before Chen Hour, accumulate at least half a shichen. (3/7)

Having turned into a dead dog, Lin Li slowly made his way home to shower, looking both pleased and miserable.

A few minutes later.

From the bushes beside him, an elderly man with camouflage paint on his face slowly poked out his head, his expression puzzled and grave.

Today, he had deliberately not watched the kid out in the open, hiding in the grass early instead. Without him, the defender of the residential compound, why hadn't this brat gone to scam some other old man?

Was his disguise really this convincing? Even he was exhausted from squatting here. Thankfully, there weren't many mosquitoes this early in the morning.

Could the brat have already discovered him? He had hidden so well, even bringing out the skills he had learned in the army.

"Old Zhou."

Hearing someone call him, Zhou Youwei turned his head and saw Zhang Fang, an elderly woman he knew.

"Old Zhang, what is it?" Zhou Youwei gave a gentle smile. This old lady was the most refined and elegant woman in the residential compound. At an age when looks no longer mattered so much, she was considered a great beauty in the eyes of the old men.

"This residential compound belongs to everyone, and maintaining it depends on everyone too. Even if you're in a hurry, the public restroom is right over there. You should go there to take care of it," Zhang Fang said after thinking for a moment and carefully choosing her words.

Zhou Youwei was initially stunned, then realized what she meant. His old face flushed bright red. "I wasn't using the restroom here."

The old lady looked awkward. She glanced down beneath Zhou Youwei and said nothing more.

Zhou Youwei lowered his head to look, then abruptly shot to his feet. "Who the fuck took a shit under my ass? No wonder it smelled so bad!"

"See? You admit that's your butt too. Old Zhou, hurry up and clean it up. I'll pretend I didn't see anything." The old lady hurried away, giving the old man an environment where he would not feel embarrassed.

Zhou Youwei: "?"

What did she mean, he admitted it was his butt? "No, Old Zhang, come take a look! It's dog shit! A dog left it!"

"Don't talk about yourself like that..."

"I'm not saying I'm a dog! What kind of comprehension is that? I, I—"

Old Zhou had finally avoided getting a stitch in his side yesterday, only to get one again today.

Unfortunately, Lin Li did not see it.

Lin Li arrived in the classroom and brought breakfast for several classmates.

Ever since he had started getting up before five, he had never been late bringing them breakfast again.

His bunch of sons had really benefited from it.

"Just thinking about having to attend classes for five days straight makes me want to die," Zhou Baowei said listlessly as he shoveled sticky rice into his mouth.

"Then remember to pick a bad day to die. That way, you can turn it into a good day," Lin Li replied with a yawn.

"Don't die anytime soon. My Aunt's due date is these next couple of days. I'm afraid you'll reincarnate into my family," Bai Bufan said gently to Zhou Baowei.

The sticky rice in Zhou Baowei's mouth plopped back into his bowl as he stared blankly at the pair of deskmates, Lin Li and Bai Bufan.

One played the bad cop, while the other played... the fucking bad cop too.

Such strong aggression. No wonder you two could be deskmates.

Lin Li had already slumped over his desk, rubbing his head against the crook of his arm to create a comfortable spot and shape.

Today, I still have to seriously listen to and study the sect's guidance. If I get sleepy then, I'm done for. Luckily, first period and morning reading are both English, so I can use them to replenish some energy.

"Bufan, tell me when the English teacher comes. I'm going to sleep for a bit."

"Okay." Being sleepy on a Monday was normal, so Bai Bufan merely nodded without teasing him.

When someone was tired, they really could fall asleep the instant they lay down, even though Lin Li was rather thin and resting his bare arm under his head in summer was not actually very comfortable.

Lin Li stood in the void, accepting the villagers' submission.

With a cold, righteous fairy maiden in his left arm and a fiery demonic enchantress in his right, he looked carefree and pleased.

"I merely killed a demon creature in passing. There's no need for everyone to be like this. Hurry and get up." Lin Li waved his hand, unconcerned about the good deed he had just done. "If you truly want to thank me, then prepare a 2.4-by-2-meter bed for me, as well as some sucking jelly, popping candy, ice cream..."

Why had he only asked Yang Liang for a 1.8-by-2-meter bed last time, but wanted a 2.4-meter one this time? Because last time, only two people had slept together, while this time there would be three. This was called rigor.

Before Lin Li could finish listing his demands, pain struck.

The enchantress in his arms had actually driven a heavy elbow into him.

Lin Li was about to question why she had done that, but when he saw even the Holy Maiden rushing over to elbow him, with Bai Bufan's voice coming from her mouth, he realized something was wrong.

"Lin Li, wake the fuck up! Lin Li, wake the fuck up!"

Lin Li suddenly raised his head, held the English textbook he had prepared in advance before him, and pretended to read it.

Then he realized the entire room was silent. It seemed no one was doing morning reading.

Lin Li lowered his textbook, and a rather terrifying sight appeared before him—every classmate was staring at him.

Including the English class representative standing on the teacher's desk.

It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over.

"I didn't say my dream out loud just now, did I? Bai Bufan, please, hurry up and shake your head." Swallowing hard, Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan fearfully.

You've got to be kidding me. Not this kind of thing!