Bai Bufan, Myriad Springs Department Poet

After Bai Bufan displayed the Japanese spirit of bowing and apologizing, then made grand promises like a mature man, Lin Li finally struggled out of the haunted Senior High, Class 1-4 classroom.

He planned to have Lanzhou beef noodles for lunch today.

The moment he walked in, he found the setup as familiar as ever.

Kids doing homework, a man in a distinctive hat rolling out noodles, a woman in a headscarf working part-time as a server, incomprehensible dialects used in conversation, and the smell of beef and mutton permeating the shop.

He had visited so many Lanzhou beef noodle shops in this life that similar decor was understandable, but why was the staffing arrangement always the same too? Was that a requirement for franchising?

But once the noodles arrived, this place turned out not to be very authentic. The meat was actually opaque.

After eating, Lin Li went to the stationery shop to pick up Zhou Baowei's delivery.

Judging by the size of the package, it definitely wasn't a Spring Breeze Elf.

Come to think of it, people talked big, but leaving college aside, how many high schoolers actually did that in their dorms? Everyone spent roughly the same amount of time in the dormitory. Were they really studying finance in there?

—There was a term in finance called hedging.

If they really wanted to start ranked matches, it would be more appropriate to buy the NetEase version of Spring Breeze Elf and play online.

Besides, not everyone brought a phone like Bai Bufan. They couldn't rely entirely on imagination, could they? Going at it raw would only hurt their bodies.

But now Lin Li found Baowei's despair from that morning even funnier. He had only been talking trash, but Chen Yuying probably took it seriously—wasn't that like dumping a bucket of shit over his own head?

Holding the package, Lin Li arrived at the Senior High, Class 1-4 dormitory. After thinking back, he found Zhou Baowei and Bai Bufan's room.

"Knock, knock, knock." Lin Li knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Bai Bufan had eaten quite quickly today and was already back. His voice came from inside.

"A host, writer, folk singer, bartender, oil painter, leatherworker, silversmith, hand-drum performer, old backpacker, investment consultant, French knight, abstract genius—Lin Li," Lin Li replied.

"Our dorm can't fit that many people. Please find another room, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good boy?"

"Pat, pat."

The code phrase matched, and the dorm door was immediately opened.

A classic setup: a six-person dorm, three bunk beds, and two rows of long desks and chairs. The environment was fairly decent too, unlike some trash schools whose decor looked like Damascus's "Rose"—Syria—something that could only be built in ruins.

There were only three people in the dorm. The other three had not returned yet, or were visiting other rooms.

"Baowei, your computer parts." Lin Li had been to this dorm before. He tossed the package to Baowei, who was sitting in a chair, then lay down on Baowei's bed without the slightest courtesy, taking over the magpie's nest and rubbing himself against the blanket.

Zhou Baowei had long accepted that his lower bunk was a public area. After catching the package, he merely sighed helplessly.

"Lin Li, be careful." Bai Bufan reached up to Lin Li's upper bunk and searched beneath the bedding for his phone, reminding him at the same time, "There's a precious cultural relic on Baowei's bed. It's an heirloom. If you break it, you probably can't afford to compensate for it."

"Seriously?" Lin Li immediately sat up.

Zhou Baowei turned his head as well—How come I didn't even know that myself?

"Of course. There's Lu Country's Paper on Baowei's bed, and it has Jin Script on it too. It bears witness to cultural exchanges between ancient states. Have you watched National Treasure? Remember those fingerprints from over two thousand years ago? I think Baowei's artifact is pretty romantic too. I wonder if it might get a chance to appear on that show." Bai Bufan spoke with perfect logic.

Lin Li looked beside the pillow and, sure enough, saw a tissue. "..."

He did not need to ask why it was an heirloom. It was easy enough to infer the rest—the inherited thing was the DNA on it.

He did not quite agree with the part about it being romantic.

But he had to admit that if it made it onto the show, the entertainment value would be there.

"I use that to blow my nose! Stop spreading rumors!" Zhou Baowei erupted in anger for a moment.

After finding his phone, Bai Bufan sat down on Zhou Baowei's bed.

Lin Li directly seized the phone and opened its short-video platform.

First, he needed to check what Bai Bufan was made of.

Lin Li opened the browser first.

"You really are a dog! Fortunately, I came prepared." Bai Bufan sneered.

Damn it, it was incognito browsing.

But Lin Li had other methods. He opened the browser bookmarks, intending to see what Bai Bufan had saved.

"Alright, um, that's enough. It would be impolite to keep looking." But Lin Li's hand was pressed down just like that as Bai Bufan spoke seriously.

Lin Li burst out laughing, then prepared to return to the home screen.

"?"

"Bai Bufan, why does your phone's home button take screenshots?" Lin Li froze after taking a screenshot. Then he pressed the volume-up and power buttons, only to finally return to the home screen.

"Because I flashed the system. I don't want my phone to be immediately usable by the enemy if I fall on the battlefield and they pick it up!" Bai Bufan said, puffing out his chest with pride.

"Bai Chenguang, have you considered what it means if your phone gets picked up by one of your teammates on the battlefield?" Lin Li asked earnestly.

Bai Bufan was stumped. After thinking for a long time, he finally nodded heavily. "It means he's unlucky."

Lin Li gave him a thumbs-up.

Opening Douyin, Lin Li swiped through five videos.

Three Female Bodhisattvas, one gaming video, and one comic introduction video that needed heroes to appear in the comments.

"Your life is completely over." Lin Li once again expressed his approval.

"I don't usually watch this stuff," Bai Bufan said sincerely. "Also, when you talk to me, could you look at me instead of the Bodhisattvas? That's a little rude. If you really like them, I'll forward you their Douyin accounts later."

"I can only scoff at this, but send them to me. I merely need to gather evidence with a critical eye. Once I have enough evidence, it will be the day the Female Bodhisattvas' golden bodies collapse." Lin Li shook his head. His head was shaking, but his eyes were not.

They were steadier than an owl's head.

"Take your time looking after I forward them to you. Let's handle business first. We don't have much time," Bai Bufan said.

Lin Li opened the messages.

"Bufan, I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Why does this user named Good Grandson have the same profile picture as me? When I open it, I find that his Douyin account seems to be the same as mine too." Lin Li asked with a smile.

"This proves you have good taste. The profile picture you picked is recognized by the public! It can't possibly be that I gave you that nickname. What kind of joke is that?" Bai Bufan smiled too, before his smile turned terrified.

A while later.

Lin Li sat atop Bai Bufan's corpse, opening chat history after chat history.

"Bai Bufan: Meet up?"

"Loves to Eat Green Grapes: Add V, 300."

"Bai Bufan: Can we meet after I add you?"

"Loves to Eat Green Grapes: Add V first, then we'll talk."

"Bai Bufan: The stock market hasn't been doing well lately. I'm a student, can you make it cheaper? How about three yuan?"

"Loves to Eat Green Grapes: Lol, why not say you're a newborn? Want me to give you V for free?"

"Bai Bufan: Thank you, sis, for understanding. I'm a newborn."

"Bai Bufan: Didn't you get it? I'm a newborn, hello hello, I'm a newborn."

"Bai Bufan: You there? Why read but not reply? Give me V?"

"Due to the other party's privacy settings, they cannot receive your messages."

"Bai Bufan: How much per session?"

"Xi Ling Angel: We provide wholesome outdoor companion services, 3k for twelve hours. During that period, all expenses are covered by you, boss."

"Bai Bufan: Wholesome? Wholesome costs that much?"

"Xi Ling Angel: Of course it's wholesome. If you only need six hours of daytime companionship, it's just 800."

"Bai Bufan: There's nowhere to play outside at night, so we can only game. That costs 2,200? Who would book that kind of companion? If I wanted that, couldn't I just ask some sweet girl online to game with me? It's only a few dozen yuan an hour."

"Xi Ling Angel: Idiot who can't understand human language."

"Bai Bufan: ?"

"Due to the other party's privacy settings, they cannot receive your messages."

"Bai Bufan: Why did you block me too? Your pricing really is unreasonable!"

"Due to the other party's privacy settings, they cannot receive your messages."

Recommending a friend's book: Ghosts in the World are called Three Corpses. They make people die young and are a great evil.

Li Liang arrived in another world carrying a treasure mirror. With a strange body, he dwelled within a divine statue, receiving the people's worship and feeding on incense offerings to cultivate.

He eliminated corpse ghosts, slew demons and evil spirits, summoned raging winds with a breath, and called torrential rain with a single word.

He commanded five thunders and wielded dark lightning, opened heaven and earth, and controlled divine weapons.

From a minor god protecting one region to one worshipped by all living beings, with countless gods beneath his command.

He summoned heaven, and heaven respectfully answered; he commanded earth, and earth welcomed him; he pointed at ghosts, and ghosts perished; demons were bound in form.

When he looked back again, he had already attained the supreme Great Dao.