Hachiman Hikigaya could completely understand why Kazuma was cursing.
He understood it better than anyone. That B sniper on the other side had forced him to come looking for Kazuma Satou and the others.
Mahiro Oyama returned from outside.
"Hikigaya, I checked the place you told me to. There aren't any boats left at this hour. We don't have a card for the luxury cruise ship swipe point at Seaside Park either, so there's nothing we can do."
"So random boats don't respawn at this time?"
Kazuma Satou asked, "Are there any NPC boats?"
"There seems to be an old man's little electric boat over there. We can just steal it and drive it."
"But none of us know how to drive one."
Kazuma Satou recalled the effects of the Craft Essence and said to Shido Itsuka:
"I remember your 'Rationality Evaporates' also gives you Riding, right? Does driving a boat count as Riding?"
After hearing that, Shido Itsuka complained:
"Putting aside whether it counts or not, in the mental state I'm in when I cross-dress... cough... equip that Craft Essence, even if I really can drive it, aren't you worried something might go wrong?"
"No... no... no."
Kazuma Satou smiled with his eyes closed, looking smug as he wagged the index finger of his left hand.
"Did you forget what I just pulled?"
Hachiman Hikigaya sucked in a breath.
"Damn, the 'Golden Fleece' can even be used here?!"
Kazuma Satou nodded with his eyes closed, chin raised in triumph.
"Tsk tsk, this is an intellectual crushing victory."
"Pfft, pure dumb luck!" x3
The three of them simultaneously gave the smug Kazuma Satou the middle finger.
Hachiman Hikigaya used his binoculars to take a look at that red Archer.
"I don't think the little boat will work. That Heroic Spirit over there will definitely lock onto us directly. Let's put it this way: he even locks onto units underwater."
"During the last test, he didn't spot us when we fell into the water beside that ship. We only managed to retreat after reaching shore because Kazuma used Concealment on us."
"Are this game's bots really this insane?"
Mahiro Oyama sighed, looking utterly deflated.
"Then what do we do?"
"Let's give it a try. If it doesn't work, we can only study that new extraction method called 'Greater Holy Grail Extraction' tomorrow."
Kazuma Satou calmed down a little and looked at Shido Itsuka and Mahiro Oyama.
"But logically speaking, the first night should have the lowest extraction difficulty in this game..."
"Since this is your first test run, I really want you to extract now. Delaying it could very well lead to complications."
Shido Itsuka suggested:
"Then should we give it a try...?"
The other three nodded.
Soon, feeling guilty, they woke up an old NPC grandfather living in a dockside shack.
They used items to convert money into yen at a low rate and rented his little electric boat.
On the Miyuan River,
beneath the Fuyuki Bridge,
the four of them crowded into a small boat and slowly made their way toward the opposite shore.
Shido Itsuka activated "Rationality Evaporates," equipped the "Golden Fleece," gained the Riding E skill and a tiny bit of sanity,
and took control of the boat.
The other three held up binoculars and stared fixedly at the red Archer.
When they had reached roughly half the distance,
the mysterious man in red atop the building across from them looked over. He had not just noticed them—he had spotted them long ago and was deliberately fishing, waiting until they reached the middle!
He raised his bow like a sword and instantly took aim at them!
"Caren's mother! Jump!"
Kazuma Satou let out a strange cry and frantically leaped into the river.
Hearing the command, Hachiman Hikigaya, Mahiro Oyama, and Shido Itsuka also dove swiftly into the river, but they were still cut by debris thrown up by the explosion.
"I can't swim! Save me, quack—!"
Mahiro Oyama struggled desperately. She used too much strength and soon ran out of stamina, gulped down several mouthfuls of water, and quickly sank.
Bubbles gurgled up from where she had gone under.
The river was deep. Once someone sank, they were basically doomed.
And if a corpse was in the water, it could not respawn either. It would just rot there.
"?!!" x3
Kazuma Satou and the other two hurried over, dove down, and worked together to lift Mao-chan back to the surface.
The group swam toward the opposite shore in a miserable state.
Fortunately, the "Golden Fleece" continuously restored some of their stamina, keeping their spirits and sanity afloat.
Only by giving it everything they had did they barely manage to swim back from the middle of the river.
The four brothers-in-misery collapsed onto the riverbank like salted fish.
Mahiro Oyama kept spitting. "Ptooey, ptooey, the river water is so bitter... sob..."
Shido Itsuka looked like he could barely breathe. "Cough, cough, cough... That explosion almost blew my ass apart. Does anyone understand my pain?"
After being disgusted so thoroughly, Kazuma Satou and Hachiman Hikigaya had abandoned all civility and started cursing outright.
"Fuck that red Archer's mother."
"I'm gonna fuck his dad!"
"I'm gonna fuck his mama!"
"Fuck his ancestors for eighteen generations!"
Cú Chulainn: "Hahahaha, well cursed."
Archer: "..."
Hachiman Hikigaya: "@Archer, that Archer... is you?"
Archer: "So what?"
Kazuma Satou: "??"
Kazuma Satou: "Don't call yourself Archer anymore. Change your name to Red P instead, damn it."
Red P: "So?"
Red P: "Hey? Why was my name changed?!"
Kurisu Makise: "Hahaha, even the big boss couldn't stand watching anymore."
Red P: "I... I'm innocent."
Bucciarati: "Sniff. This is... the scent of a lie."
Red P: "I never camp bridges... really."
Jeanne d'Arc: "The Lord tells me... this is a lie."
In Fuyuki City on another timeline.
After summoning her Heroic Spirit, Rin Tohsaka found the mysterious red-haired man who had made a complete mess of her room, then sat silently on the sofa pretending to be an expert.
Her eyes widened. Half-crouching, she pointed at Archer and let out a strange cry.
"Holy shit! Whoa, Red P!"
Archer instantly fell silent. The mysterious smile on his face immediately became somewhat... constipated.
He glanced at the silent Rin Tohsaka, then peeked at the Livestream Room.
He discovered that the Rin Tohsaka before him had actually spammed several messages in the chat.
Rin Tohsaka: "...Oh my god, what the hell, why did I summon something like this? This guy is actually my Servant."
Rin Tohsaka: "What a scam. Red P was actually summoned by me. I'm really not that awful, I definitely didn't order him to do this. He must have acted on his own."
Rin Tohsaka: "Damn, I forgot. I clearly saw it before, but I didn't pay attention for a moment and failed to reflect on it. The clock at home was wrong! Ah! Unlucky, unlucky, so unlucky!"
Rin Tohsaka: "@Red P... can I cancel my subscription? I want a different Heroic Spirit. Could you please go back on your own?"
Red P: "..."
Archer looked at his nickname in the Livestream Room, took a deep breath, and typed a sentence.
Red P: "Big boss... could you please change my nickname back? I'm begging you."
Kazuma Satou: "Keep dreaming!"
Mao-chan: "Red P! Go become a Red Stone!"
Archer: "Fuck, that wasn't me!"
Archer: "Look at me, my nickname has already been changed back!"
Kazuma Satou: "It was only changed back because the big boss is nice. The key is that you... still dare to curse back? @Hachiman Hikigaya @Mahiro Oyama @Shido Itsuka, let's curse this bridge-camping bitch to death today."
Hachiman Hikigaya: "Understood. Preparing to unleash maximum firepower."
Mao-chan: "Understood. Watch the hand speed I developed from eighteen years of being single."
Shido Itsuka: "Uh... how do you curse someone? I'm not really good at it."
Hachiman Hikigaya: "Just repeat after Kazuma Satou and learn. He picks up insults damn fast."
Shido Itsuka: "OK."
Archer: "I'm laughing from anger. Not one of you is human."
Gilgamesh: "Ho ho ho hahahaha, Red P? I almost laughed myself sick."
Gilgamesh: "I laughed so hard that I lost my footing on a downhill slope and rolled straight down!"
Archer: "You stupid fuck dying has nothing to do with me, does it?"
Gilgamesh: "You dare speak to me like that?! Pfft... hahahaha, hic, I can't hold it in. Every time I think of that title, I laugh for half the day."
Gilgamesh: "Kazuma Satou! You bastard! Are you trying to laugh me to death so you can inherit my Gate of Babylon?"
Archer: "You... don't be so quick to laugh at me. Just wait. All I can say is that you won't escape it either."
Gilgamesh: "I'm not as disgusting as you."
Archer: "Heh."
Archer: "Hard to say."
An Ordinary Night on Fuyuki City's First Day (5K, Second Update)
After finding the culprit in the Livestream Room and cursing him out,
Kazuma Satou and the others felt a little better. They sprawled uselessly across the concrete ground, looking at the bridge and the river before them.
"Sigh." x4
With Red P camping the bridge,
they could only stare at the river and sigh.
Before you continue