Chaotic Brawl

Alfred piloted the Bat Stealth Fighter, hovering above Slaughter Swamp.

He set the aircraft to autopilot, then boredly poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Beep beep beep..."

Hearing the notification, Alfred walked over to the screen, took a look, and pressed a button.

Soon, a voice came from the Batcomputer:

"Herbicide deployed."

"Bleurgh!"

Plant Master bent over and vomited up a huge glob of green, viscous sludge. His body was pitted and battered, but it was gradually repairing itself.

"..."

Plant Master was no fool. He quickly realized how to deal with it. Layers upon layers of wood rapidly formed over his body, becoming a suit of hard wooden armor.

The green herbicide dripped onto him, no longer able to corrode the delicate leaves.

The saltwater herbicide still wasn't potent enough, Chen Tao sighed.

Unfortunately, it wasn't that he didn't want to use high-potency herbicides like acetic acid, cuprous oxide, or glyphosate. But once the concentration and quantity of those chemicals reached a certain level, they would invariably inflict lethal harm on the human body, while causing unavoidable—even irreversible—damage to the environment and water supply.

There were not only allies in this area, but also a hostage like Professor Goldbloom, who was under Poison Ivy's hypnotic kiss. Chen Tao wasn't some Russian rescue squad.

So Chen Tao shook his head.

"Do it."

"Yes, Batman."

Thus, just as Plant Master rose from the ground clutching his head and turned around, he saw the crowd closing in.

"Hehehe..."

"Kekeke..."

"Ho ho ho..."

Deathshot had armed himself to the teeth with high-tech weaponry.

Cheshire Cat held an Ultrasonic Rocket Launcher.

Dizzy Earl pressed a finger to his temple as he slowly approached.

Ms. Vick stood atop a tree, holding a Pulse Wave Gun.

Wait.

Standing on a tree?

The battle began with Ms. Vick's shrill scream as a vine yanked her into the air.

"Ow!"

Poison Ivy gave Harley Quinn two heavy slaps, then threw a left punch, a right punch, and an upward kick—only for Harley Quinn to grab her by the thigh and flip her onto the ground the next second. The two women crashed into each other in a tangled embrace.

Then came the relentless face-sitting, wild flailing punches, hair-pulling, and spitting.

Bzzzzzz...

Dizzy Earl straightened up, the veins at his temples throbbing wildly. The intense interference waves made Plant Master clutch his head. Deathshot seized the opportunity to blast him with an Ultrasonic Rocket Launcher, knocking him to his knees with his hands over his head.

Cheshire Cat used her speed advantage to throw seven Freeze Grenades onto him in quick succession, freezing half his body stiff.

Ms. Vick raised her Pulse Wave Gun. In an instant, a massive current coursed through Plant Master's body, forcing a scream from him.

"Seriously, Pam!" Harley Quinn straddled Poison Ivy, forcefully prying apart Poison Ivy's tightly closed legs as she reached for her throat.

"Your plan is complete shit!"

"Mmh—humans will destroy this world!"

Poison Ivy rolled over and pinned Harley beneath her, then pounded Harley Quinn's raised arms, which shielded her face, with her pale green little fists. "What else am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know! Vote Democrat, or donate to Greenpeace?"

"That's an organization for saving whales, idiot!"

"Ahhh! Whatever! Anything is better than us turning into walking plants!"

Plant Master lay sprawled on the ground. The boldest of them all, Ms. Vick, rushed straight to his side and began punching and kicking his curled-up body. Deathshot stood nearby, continuously pouring ammunition into the big green brute, as though venting all the frustration of recent days, along with his confusion and fear for the future.

Cheshire Cat held a knife and was trying to chop through Plant Master's neck. The woman in the cat-face mask swung with all her strength again and again, like an old farmer hoeing his field with hopeful determination.

Ms. Vick was... uh, sawing off his leg.

"This time, I'm collecting the wooden man's ***!"

What was there to collect about that?

"..."

And could someone tell me where the saw in her hand came from?

Poison Ivy sprawled across Harley's back, the two of them tangled together and wrestled. Harley slammed Poison Ivy hard against a tree, pinned her there, and began punching her over and over.

Poison Ivy twisted aside, slipped past her arm, and punched her in the chest.

"Ah-wah~"

Harley Quinn clutched her chest, then promptly punched Poison Ivy in the chest as well.

"Ah-wah~"

Poison Ivy clutched her chest, then kicked Harley Quinn in the crotch. Harley grabbed Poison Ivy by the hair, and Poison Ivy stomped on her toes.

Harley Quinn retaliated with an uppercut. Then both girls threw punches at the same time, their fists smashing into each other's faces simultaneously.

"Ah~ wah~ oof~"

Welding Dog made his move. His fighting style was simple: rush up and weld the dead dog in his hand onto the enemy's face.

?

His actions in full public view brought even everyone else's perverse antics to a halt.

The welding torch in his left hand flared to life. In just a few seconds, he had welded the golden retriever in his hand directly onto Plant Master's face.

"Woof!"

The dog welded to the enemy's face said, "Woof woof? Woof woof woof woof woof!"

"Get off me!"

Plant Master climbed up from the ground, his expression ugly. "You bastards don't understand the power of The Green at all!"

"You're an idiot, Harley. We could have changed the world—"

Poison Ivy rolled over and picked up a broken tree branch from the ground. "But you're too stupid to realize it!"

She swung the stick at Harley, but Harley quickly seized her arm and threw her over her shoulder.

Harley snatched the stick away.

"Oh, yeah? I'm smart enough to beat your butt into the ground—"

She spun the stick around with a rapid flurry of twirls.

Poison Ivy got to her feet irritably, then snapped her fingers.

Creakle...

The wooden stick in Harley Quinn's hand turned into a wooden snake. It opened its enormous jaws, revealing sharp, wood-colored teeth. Harley screamed and threw the stick away.

"No, this is what cool looks like!"

Poison Ivy said.

"That's not fair!" Harley shouted.

"Enough!"

Plant Master suddenly broke free from the ground. He shoved past Ms. Vick's attempt to stop him, panting heavily.

He said:

"I hadn't planned on using this. You forced me to."

Then he pulled a plant tuber from his clothes and stuffed it into his mouth.

"Blech!"

He complained loudly, "This tastes horrible!"