Laughing Gas

The National Guard's command center.

Mayor Carlo sat in his seat, terrified.

"Scarecrow—"

The Joker looked at Scarecrow, a mix of surprise and delight on his face. "What a strange surprise!"

Scarecrow drifted down silently from the windowsill. He was tall and thin, like a walking bamboo pole, but surprisingly agile.

"I'm offended, Joker. With a master available to you..."

"...you go looking for amateurs in the Kingdom of Fear."

"Ah, yes, the master is you, of course," the Joker replied, spreading his hands. His expression was like a gleeful little boy, flickering with innocent malice.

"But I thought perhaps I could control Cornelius Stirk, hmm?"

(Note: That is, the supervillain Ogre, first appearing in Detective Comics issue 592)

"You're so incredibly wrong, a terrible choice, Joker."

Scarecrow's voice was somewhat sharp under his respirator:

"This makes me very angry. In fact, I'd quite like to give you a dose of my fear..."

"Then try it, Scarecrow, I'm sure I'll find the experience amusing—Ahahahahahahaha Hooo~"

Scarecrow silently watched the Joker. This heart-stopping (at least, that's how Mayor Carlo beside him felt) standoff lasted for about 10 seconds.

Mayor Carlo slumped in his seat, unable to utter a single word.

Scarecrow said:

"I want to replace Scott—but this time it has to be an equal partnership... no one controlling anyone."

With a creak, the door was pushed open.

The "Ogre," Cornelius Stirk, pushed the door open and walked in.

"Damn it! Scarecrow!" he exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Stirk!" the Joker greeted him like a middle school girl. "Where's Captain Steve, the one I told you to kidnap?"

"Here," the Ogre pulled out a large piece of red stuff from behind him, along with a pile of other red, messy things. He began to devour it carelessly in front of the Joker.

While eating his snack, he mumbled incoherently:

"That Captain fellow, his adrenaline is quite good... hmm, a bubbling, delicious stress hormone, providing all the natural ingredients needed for an organic fear stew..."

"No, you idiot!" the Joker clutched his scalp in despair. "You illiterate fool, you were supposed to kidnap him, not kill him!"

He lowered his head and slapped himself twice on each ear. "Damn it, I shouldn't have used Scott, too unstable. After all, you're a lunatic! Ahahahahaha! Well, so am I! Lunatics should stick together—who told me to pick you as a collaborator?"

The Joker asked again:

"No one saw you kill Steve, did they?"

"Awoo awoo woo... Of course not!" the Ogre swallowed a mouthful of food and mumbled, "I hypnotized the guards at the door when I went in. No one knows Smith is dead now, and even if he is, our plan won't be affected."

"Fine, fine," the Joker said, holding his forehead in exasperation. "So be it, you've already done it."

He scratched his head in a fit of madness and then said, "I'm so thirsty! Stirk, hand me that glass of water on the table behind you."

The Joker took the water handed to him by the Ogre and took a big gulp, letting out a "Hooo" sound.

Scarecrow, who had been ignored for a while, finally couldn't help but speak:

"So, Joker, my partnership with you..."

With a crack, the Joker smashed the glass in his hand against the table. Half a second later, the shards were all embedded in the Ogre's throat.

"Hoo! Hoo... You... you..."

The Ogre hadn't even reacted. He struggled to pull a blade from his embrace, but as soon as he stood up, he fell backward uselessly, his head hitting the ground.

The Joker strode forward, snatched his dagger from the Ogre's embrace, and then straddled the Ogre's convulsing body, swinging the dagger down again and again. "Fuck—you, you useless thing, trash! Trash!"

Blood stained the food the Ogre had been chewing, making it look tender and delicious, like a medium-rare steak.

Only after all the red fluid had been squeezed from the Ogre's body did the Joker drop the dagger and elegantly wipe the red splatters from his face with his sleeve.

"Well then," he made a disgusting knightly gesture of placing a hand over his heart. "Scarecrow, my dearest friend, it's time for you to show your true skills."

Scarecrow was silent for a moment, then with his long, skinny legs, he stepped over the Ogre's unseeing corpse and walked up to the Mayor. Without a word, he sprayed a large cloud of mist from his skull-shaped atomizer onto Mayor Carlo's cheek.

"No! Impossible! This can't be real!"

Mayor Carlo's eyes widened, red veins bursting in his eyeballs under the chemical stimulus.

"I... it must be a nightmare... No, it's not real!"

"Ah, but we are very real, Mr. Mayor, super real," the Joker cackled. "If the guards at your door could still speak for you, they could testify for us!"

"No, no, it's poison!"

"What poison, Mr. Mayor? What do you see? What is your greatest fear?"

"Spiders? Vipers?"

"Rotten sushi?"

"No, no!" Under the influence of the fear toxin, Mayor Carlo trembled like a helpless infant.

"Snakes… snakes have… have poison!"

Scarecrow leaned in close to Mayor Carlo's face. Mayor Carlo saw in terror as two venomous snakes slithered out from his eye sockets, yet Scarecrow acted as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't seen the snakes at all.

Scarecrow's whisper echoed in his ears:

"Snakes, Mr. Mayor. Pythons, vipers. Their forked tongues flicking rapidly, piercing the soft flesh where the pulse beats in your throat, licking, only to quickly stab… with those hooked… hollow…"

"Fangs!"

"Please… I beg you, what do you want?"

"Well, Mayor Carlo," Joker said, "it's time to put your influence to use! Dance lightly under the fiber optic lights and make this dark city kneel!"

He cackled, like a mischievous child revealing a riddle, the despair, anger, terror, and finally helplessness on people's faces being his greatest reward!

"Besides sending all 20,000 of them into battle, I have a special Laughing Gas gift for Bane – a little revenge for him stealing our Batman's affection!"

Singed and battered, perhaps with a broken rib.

Energy almost completely depleted, never feeling so worn out, so terrible.

But I'm not dead yet.

Bane lowered his head, looking at the ever-increasing number of enemies spreading towards him.

"Venom injection… maximum power."

"Engage."