Because I Am Surtr — Chapter 5

My Amiya was so well-behaved. She only ever told me to rest more; she wouldn't be like Kal'tsit! Even if I wasn't the Doctor in this main world!

Miss Surtr viciously rubbed her forehead... Fortunately, it wasn't time to sleep and dream yet. She didn't need to go pay her dues to that old hag just yet. Though this was a responsibility and obligation inevitably borne by her past-life self in Arknights, who had played so many games out of boredom. But when there was a chance to slack off, she naturally had to try slacking off a couple more times!

She could sleep later!

She let out a faint sigh, unable to stop herself from lamenting inwardly. As though sensing her gloomy mood, Laevateinn, floating at her side, silently pressed close and radiated warmth to comfort her.

She put down the poetry collection and gently hugged her sword.

As expected, you're still the best.

"You smiled slightly and said nothing to me. Yet I felt that I had waited a long time for this." — Tagore, Stray Birds

She subconsciously recited the verse she had just read in that copy of Stray Birds—a book that only she had ever read in all of Terra. Yet she failed to notice that, while hugging her sword in a daze, her unfocused gaze happened to be directed at Frostnova's face. Nor did she notice the faint smile that appeared at the corner of the sleeping maiden's lips, followed by a slight quickening of her steady heartbeat.

Then, the maiden's slightly cool hand slipped into the palm hanging at Surtr's bedside.

"You're awake?" Miss Surtr tilted her head and glanced at the pile of miscellaneous instruments around them. "The operation was a success. Your condition looks quite good for now. Your Oripathy infection rate has been brought below two percent. There have been quite a few successful cures for trace-level infections like this."

She turned her head and met the strange look in the maiden's eyes.

"I've prepared an entire case of inhibitors here. Once your body has mostly recovered, take them with you—one injection a day. That should bring the infection rate below one percent within a month. By then, you'll have entered the safe period. As long as you don't use the Originium inside your body to cast Arts again, the chances of a relapse should be very small."

"But if I do that, the Yeti Squadron won't be able to continue." Frostnova's voice was light and pleasant, like a cold spring running across an ice field. "My brothers and sisters need my Originium Arts. And I can't just abandon them."

Why are you asking me that? Shouldn't you have already made up your mind?

Surtr was confused. This conversation seemed different from what she had expected—in her mind, Frostnova should have been more independent, stronger, and more decisive. Still, that didn't stop her from producing the backup plan she had prepared long ago.

"You can go to a pharmaceutical company called Rhodes Island Pharmaceuticals." She took a letter from her pocket. It was an insurance measure, meant only for if treatment failed or the results proved unsatisfactory. "Give this letter to Doctor Kal'tsit. She'll arrange a treatment plan for you and your brothers and sisters. I took a general look at your companions earlier. Their symptoms are all within the range Rhodes Island can stabilize."

"What about Old Stubborn? What are you planning to do with him?"

"That's even simpler." Miss Surtr shrugged easily. "Sarkaz have their own unique ways of communicating. Bodegard may be stubborn, but I have both the leverage and the strength to persuade him. You don't need to worry too much about that. You may see him at Rhodes Island Pharmaceuticals very soon."

"...Have you also made plans to deal with Talulah?" For some reason, Miss Surtr felt like there was a trace of anger in Frostnova's voice.

But a shut-in and a straight girl combined had never paid attention to such details.

"I do have such a plan."

"Chernobog is beyond saving, because Ursus has already abandoned this city. And once the Reunion Movement begins attacking the city, they are destined to bear the blame. Unless you have the ability to use this one city to take on the entire world, failure is bound to fall upon you. The small fry might be able to save their own lives, but the leaders in the open are absolutely headed for death."

"I don't plan to let her die here—after all, she came to me for swordsmanship lessons three years ago. And the Talulah from back then would never have become this deranged—I'll dismantle her forces. Before the Reunion Movement can smear the name of the Infected, I'll make the organization collapse first. Then I'll defeat her and find a way to educate—or cure—her."

The kind of education where you lock her in a basement.

"She'll be reborn." —Under my training... I've wanted to play out a doujin plot for ages... Even if I turn into a shameless keyboard warrior when the moment comes, at least I won't back down now!

—At least she had a clear understanding of herself.

Surtr looked toward Frostnova. She had expected to receive a look of admiration or vigilance, but instead, the ice maiden before her lightly "hmph'd" and turned her head away, refusing to look at her—though that cool little hand still rested in Miss Surtr's palm.

"So you've arranged everything for me, have you, Miss Surtr!" The white-haired Caster maiden grabbed a thin hospital blanket from the side and pulled it over her head. Her unwillingness to continue the conversation was obvious, leaving Miss Surtr standing there with a dumbfounded expression, questioning her life choices.

—What the hell is wrong with this woman now!?

Women Were Nowhere Near as Fun as Games

Miss Surtr was very confused.

Surtr had never dated before. She had no plans to chase men, nor did she plan to be chased by them. In her past life in Arknights, she had been a typical shut-in and LSP, spending all year lurking around various censored forums and lewd-art groups. She was a skilled connoisseur of erotic art, the typical sort who said, "I'm done, but I still want another round."

She had a particular fondness for "fantasy adventure" games like Rance, Chronicles of Eve, War Goddess, and Blood of the Goddess. She always immersed herself in the male protagonist, or made up a male protagonist of her own—in other words, she had always been the one doing others, never fantasizing about being done by others. Though she occasionally felt depressed upon realizing she no longer possessed the necessary equipment to do that, who said girls couldn't get off to their 2D wives?

So, she was a typical shut-in.

Which was why she felt especially confused now.

—What the hell goes on inside women's heads?

—Why am I clearly a woman too, yet I don't understand any of it!?

—Should I boil her a kettle of hot water to help her cool off... Ah, no, she's so cold already. How could she possibly get overheated! Wait, hot water doesn't seem like it can put out a fire either?

—Then maybe I should get her a kettle of ice water? But it's already October. Would drinking cold water be bad for her health...

—Women are such a pain... This isn't like games at all. Shouldn't it be that I cure your illness, you give me a meaningful look that says everything without words, and then we go our separate ways? Either we meet blades on the battlefield, or we reunite beyond the martial world, and no matter what, I trick you into joining Rhodes Island? Why does this feel so much like a romantic comedy now... I don't play Tokimeki Memorial.

—Uh... Maybe I'm just being full of myself? Wait, isn't the foremost of life's three great delusions "she likes me"? That's true. I just want to get off to my 2D wife, not pick her up. Besides, where would there be so many wild lesbians these days?

She vigorously shook her head.

—Idiot, idiot. I almost made a fool of myself. In my past life, I was a loser who hadn't even hugged a girl. How could I possibly become a winner in this life? We're all adults here. If I'm going to be a tool, I need the self-awareness of a tool. Don't waste time thinking about all that nonsense.

—But come to think of it, Frostleaf and Frostnova seemed to be a ship on the forums in my past life. Should I find a way to set them up later... Ah, I want to take girls flying with me too. Frostleaf on my left, Frostnova on my right, and every morning when I wake up, I could enjoy a double boob pillow...

Miss Surtr wiped away her drool and ended her suddenly derailed, absurd fantasy. Girls were just something to joke about. If it could really happen, then after sweeping across Terra with her sword for five years, even with her notorious reputation, there should at least have been a few admirers throwing themselves at her. Yet the problem was that five years had passed, and there was still nothing in her hands or by her side.

In Terra, the main world, there was nothing.

In that daily dream world where she paid her dues, transformed into justice, and fought for the world, there was nothing.

That damned old woman Kal'tsit only ever gave her dirty looks. Instead of dissing that lunatic Dokutah, she specifically came to hassle Surtr every day. Theresia was just a spectator who loved watching drama, and the little fangirls around her were even less worth mentioning.

Back when she worked as a mercenary, that white-haired Skadi would come looking for trouble every few days. Sparring today, competing tomorrow, exchanging pointers the day after. Unless they smashed an entire mountain to pieces, there was no way to make her settle down. She was nothing like the gentle, sweet woman in the voice lines who could even help brush someone's hair. Damn it, was the Dokutah treatment really that much better? It was exhausting to hold back during fights too!

As for the daily dues... Damn it, just last Monday, she had beaten the Ashen One and become a tool for linking the fire. The agony of getting burned into an idiot had tormented her for an entire week. Last month, she cleared Darkest Dungeon and had only just managed to send the Elder God back into the earth's core when Skadi showed up at her door with a sword the moment she woke up, insisting she had been corrupted—followed by another huge battle. And the month before that... a one-day trip aboard the Ishimura had not been a pleasant experience.

My head hurt—just incredibly, unbearably hurt.

Those years of being used as a tool were one thing. If you didn't like it, you fought; life and death were left to fate. But the worst time last year had been waking up to find myself on Kronos, just in time for the Necron Overlord's revival... Fucking Dawn of War! Fucking Dark Crusade! Fucking Warhammer 40,000! Even the Fire Giant King couldn't withstand Titan Volcano Cannons and orbital bombardment! And in the dream, I couldn't even use my original body—I could only use a flesh-and-blood body as flimsy as paper to face those armies of monsters and demons!

Nightmares!

They were all nightmares!

She couldn't help shuddering, clutching her beloved Laevateinn even tighter with her free hand—there was no such thing as girls. There was no such thing as good fortune. The whole world treated me like a tool; only Laevateinn loved me.

The sword in her arms radiated a reassuring warmth, as though it were comforting her. Her restless heart and thoughts gradually calmed as well, no longer causing her trouble.

Forget it. If I was a tool, then so be it. They were saved, and I gained psychological satisfaction. It was still far better than my previous life in Arknights, lying in bed waiting to die with only a computer for company. Beyond that, there was no need to ask for more.

She glanced at her right hand. Frostnova's pale, delicate hand still rested quietly in her palm—though for some reason, that hand made her feel a trace of unease and timidity. She gently shook her head and laughed softly, then tucked the white hand beneath the thin blanket Frostnova had pulled over her head.

"You need to rest for a while. Organ regeneration fluid may be precious and effective, but it will still take at least a night to adapt to your body. They're still very fragile right now. Before they stabilize, it would be best not to overburden them or let them suffer any injuries."