Because I Am Surtr Chapter 7

It was a long, ancient battle. Amid a slaughter so prolonged that even time itself had been forgotten, the Sun Warrior blocked the Lord of Cinder's full-force strike, while his own sword pierced straight through the latter's chest. The fire-linking ritual finally reached its end, and the only one qualified to receive the glory of the First Flame was her, who had gathered every Lord Soul.

A final farewell, a final parting. The Sun Warrior left, but before setting out, he traded this talisman for the eye mask he had never liked wearing.

"You should be able to have a good ending, right?" Surtr murmured, as though she could once again feel the searing pain of the First Flame flowing through her veins.

It hurt, but it was not unbearable. Because it had all long since ended.

"I hope you died a worthy death."

She rose to her feet and took a step forward.

Once the Kiln of the First Flame was rekindled, the curse of undeath would be purged. All those cursed ones who could not die would be granted one final life, a life with the right to touch eternal sleep. And after living out their lives as people, they could welcome a peaceful, permanent death.

It was no longer possible for them to meet again.

Under the worldview of Dark Souls, if they were to reunite, neither of them would likely be very happy. After all, there was only one Patches in the world. Running into another one... what kind of terrifying obsession would it take to create that?

Surtr closed her eyes, silently counted to five, then opened them.

She had once more become a warrior tempered by countless battles. And now, she was ready.

So first...

She spun the longsword in her hand, getting used to its balance as she set her sights on the ASS of a black-robed Hollow not far away.

Let's start with the most basic rehabilitation exercises.

The facts proved that it was easy to fight effectively in a familiar body. She crossed collapsed walls, stepped over wreckage and ruins, severed Hollows' necks, pierced Corrupted Hounds through the brow, easily dodged crossbow bolts, even caught them and threw them back into the bodies of their shooters—in this not particularly complicated process, Miss Surtr's movements were relaxed and casual.

She lacked neither strength nor technique. Her reflexes also returned as her limbs became active. She knew that the only thing this body lacked was the filling of a soul. Because she had inherited Lord Souls and the First Flame, at least in this world, her flesh possessed limitless potential.

Before long, she had crossed those familiar yet unfamiliar structures and killed the pitiful Hollows she had never met, yet somehow knew intimately. Whether alone or in groups, she showed no mercy when she moved. And as she felt her blood gradually begin to boil, she reached the long-lost, familiar outer plaza of Firelink Shrine.

Good, Lord of Cinder Gundyr, it's time to draw weapons. I'll give you some face today—I won't use gauntlets or a little leather shield. Just you and me, facing off head-on like girls!

Filled with anticipation, her fighting spirit flared as she strode openly beneath the stone arch outside the plaza. Then—

Splat—

A halberd came crashing down from above.

"I told you to dodge! I told you not to run around!"

She watched the mighty, towering Ashen Judge, giant-like in stature, get smashed viciously into the ground like a pitiful little kitten. Its arms, wrapped in heavy armor, flailed helplessly through the air, while one of its feet was tightly gripped in a slender hand wrapped in wrist guards. Then it was slammed down hard!

Miss Surtr had watched Avengers. She knew what Hulk had once done to Loki.

Yet as she watched the seemingly delicate and powerless Fire Keeper girl swing the giant around by the ankle and smash him from side to side, then drive a Coiled Sword into the poor fellow and pin him to the ground, panic still surged through her far beyond anything she had expected.

"...Did I open this game wrong somehow?"

She shifted her gaze toward the Hero's Halberd embedded in the stone slabs half a meter before her. Its blade had sunk more than half a meter into the stone, and dark bloodstains covered the weapon—probably belonging to its owner. The halberd was even trembling slightly.

She figured her head probably was not harder than half a meter of stone slabs... at least not right now.

...Maybe she should come back another day?

She turned her head and blinked.

And that female Tyrannosaurus who was perhaps, probably, supposedly the Fire Keeper also turned her head stiffly. Her pretty face, wearing an eye mask that looked damn familiar, was filled with surprise and conflict.

"...Ashen One?"

That conflict was visibly transforming into the determination of someone who had decided to just go all in.

"What exactly did you see just now?"

The omen of death came rushing in...

Fuck this, fight my ass. Time to bail.

Surtr exited the game.

Section Seven · I Love Being a Confidante Big Sister

Surtr opened her eyes.

She checked the time. The hand on the hanging clock had already passed nine marks.

"So I ran away... temporarily." She smacked her lips and rubbed her forehead, filled with an indescribable sense of frustration.

Time flowed differently in the dream world and the real world. She could sleep here for one night and stay there for five minutes. Or sleep here for two hours while a month passed there. Because time only changed drastically when the two worlds interacted. And that happened to be the only thing Miss Surtr could control.

She could not control which world she went to, but she could control how long she stayed in a given world.

In other words, if she wanted to slack off, she could spend two seconds in the dream world every night and let six hours pass in the real world, ensuring she got enough sleep. Just as she had done last night.

She shook her head.

"I'm not going over there today. Both she and I probably need some time to calm down... Damn it, give me back my gentle, kind Fire Keeper girl! What the hell was that about beating Gundyr barehanded? If she's that strong, then weren't all those cartwheels I did back then for nothing? And is that meme from the forums actually true? Did she really break Ludleth's legs?"

Her head started hurting again. An overwhelming feeling of being used as a tool immediately filled her chest. If the Fire Keeper herself could beat the shit out of Lord of Cinder Gundyr, who could casually manhandle unkindled trash, then who was that weak, obedient act for afterward? Don't tell her it was for love!?

Pah!

She obviously just wanted to trick me into linking the fire!

She drew a huge X over the Fire Keeper's portrait in her mind. But then her heart suddenly softened, and she gently erased it—whatever. Even if her 2D wife really had been using her as a tool, what could she do about it? As an otaku, would every memory of fighting for her 2D wife back then fade away because of that?

What was she supposed to do, then?

Of course she'd forgive them! At least she hadn't scammed her out of money!

"At least she was sincere toward me in the endings where I extinguished the fire and usurped it... So I really can't link this fire after all."

For an otaku, when forced to choose between an unfamiliar world and a familiar girl, the former had never stood much of a chance—unless "the world" meant Sekai Saionji, or some vampire's Stand. Miss Surtr, who had always seen herself as a tool, was naturally no exception. She quickly sorted out her thoughts, revised her plans, and, once her confusion was gone, let out the last remaining sigh of regret.

Heh, all of that had really just been baseless nonsense. She had returned not because she was afraid the Fire Keeper would punch her head clean off—Ashen Ones could survive without heads. She had left only because she still wasn't ready to face her old friend's orphan.

She recognized that mask. And there was clearly something to the familiar feeling the Fire Keeper gave her, as well as the fact that she had directly called her "Ashen One."

So then... how should she put this?

Sorry, Brother Solaire. Since your descendant is my 2D wife, I guess this brotherhood is over?