Is There No One Normal at the Ninja Academy?

"Wherever leaves dance, fire burns. The firelight illuminates the village, and new leaves sprout once more. When one wishes to protect the people they cherish, a ninja's true strength will reveal itself..."

At the entrance ceremony for the new class of the Ninja Academy, the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, stood on the stage and tirelessly instilled the Will of Fire into Konoha's next generation. Known as the Professor of Ninjutsu, Hiruzen Sarutobi was quite the speaker. The parents' applause never stopped, each round louder than the last. It couldn't be helped—everyone made their living in Konoha. If they were outdone by others at a time like this, would they have an easy life afterward? According to an unnamed purple-haired, masked Anbu, the Third Hokage was actually rather petty.

Duke stood among a group of four- and five-year-olds, constantly surveying the crowd around him. It couldn't be helped; there were too many important figures present today. Not to mention the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, on the stage, there were already quite a few future pillars of Konoha among the children.

There was the thick-browed watermelon-head in green from head to toe—the future Blue Beast of Konoha, Might Guy. At present, he was still a foolish Newbie; no one could have guessed that this man would one day open the Eight Gates in fury and grind Six Paths Madara into the ground. Then there was Uchiha Obito, who had helped an old lady cross the street and arrived half an hour late. This future BOSS was currently sneaking glances at the brown-haired girl beside him. Hmm, a wild Nohara Rin had appeared. To Nohara Rin's right stood a white-haired boy with a dead fish eye—Sakata Gin... Hatake Kakashi. White hair and a mask; he kept that look until the day he died, which was why he had no girlfriend.

"Ahem... let's get acquainted. My name is Sarutobi Asuma."

Interrupted, Duke looked beside him. Black-haired Sarutobi Asuma had some unidentified object that resembled a cigarette in his mouth, striking a cool pose. Slurp, slurp. The unidentified object in his mouth turned out to be a lollipop.

How should I put this? If you wanted to look cool, wouldn't a real cigarette be better? Though the Third Hokage on stage would probably publicly beat you up. Still, you had that veteran smoker look down pretty well. You must have stolen plenty of the Third Hokage's cigarettes! Kid, don't say I didn't warn you—smoking causes erectile dysfunction.

"The one on stage is my dad. That's right, even though I hid it so well, you still figured it out. I'm the Third Hokage's son." Seeing that the girl he liked was ignoring him with a look of disgust, Sarutobi Asuma hurriedly unleashed his ultimate move. Whenever those aunties heard that he was the Third Hokage's second son, they would happily hug and kiss him. But the moment Asuma finished speaking, he regretted it. How could the goddess I admire possibly be like those flashy little sluts? Her face is so perfect, her bearing so graceful, her temperament so outstanding. She definitely won't care about my identity. Maybe she'll even hate me for what I just said and think I'm some lazy, good-for-nothing playboy. She frowned. This is bad—I need to change my tune. It's not too late yet.

"But don't tell anyone. Keep it low-key. I don't want too many people knowing."

If you didn't want people to know, then don't say it so loudly. That super loser over there, Uchiha Obito, was already green with envy! You're finished. You definitely won't survive until the end of the story.

In reality, Uchiha Obito's thoughts were more like this: Amazing, he's already confessing! I really want to get to know the girl beside me too, but there are so many people here. I'm so embarrassed! Maybe... I should dress more handsomely and talk to her another day!

Asuma slipped both hands into his pockets, took another slurp, and gazed at Duke affectionately. "I don't want everyone to see me differently because of my father. Although everyone likes me, I know that's only because of my father. I just want to prove myself. Also, I hope to meet friends who won't care about my identity. Can we be friends?"

Get lost... are you blind? I'm a real man! Go flirt with girls somewhere else. See that red-eyed girl over there? Yūhi Kurenai. Go flirt with her already.

Duke stared into Asuma's eyes until the other boy's face reddened and his heart raced, then coldly spat out five words: "Get lost. I'm a boy!"

"Im... im... possible." Asuma instantly turned to stone. So cute—how could he possibly be a boy? He's clearly prettier than girls. I get it. He said that because he's shy and doesn't know how to reject me. He used such a ridiculous excuse so I wouldn't be too embarrassed. That must be it. The three-dimensional sensor between my legs wouldn't lie to me. He must be a girl. The love of my life... how kind. Even in front of so many people, he's still considering my feelings.

"I won't give up!" Asuma shouted. "I will marry you!"

As it happened, the parents' applause had just stopped when Asuma shouted. Thus, the entire playground heard that heart-wrenching declaration of a defeated dog.

"The Ninja Academy is the most basic stage of training for all ninjas. Only after completing the Ninja Academy's foundational studies and assessments can you become an independent nin... ja..." Even Hiruzen Sarutobi, who had been speaking animatedly with spit flying everywhere, was forced to stop. Who is that? What terrible upbringing! If he were my child, I'd beat him to death... Huh? He really is my stupid son!

The scene fell silent. The parents stared dumbfoundedly. Is it really okay for my child to attend a school like this? Will I become a grandparent next year?

The children, meanwhile, gathered around Asuma to watch. Duke discreetly moved two steps away and joined the merciless crowd of spectators.

As for Lord Naruto, once he discovered that the one interrupting him was his troublesome second son, he flew into a rage. I didn't send you to the Ninja Academy so you could chase girls, you unfilial brat! And you've got a cigarette in your mouth? Who taught you all this? Jiraiya? What a disgrace to the family! You're only four years old—stay away from that peeping pervert!

In his fury, Hiruzen Sarutobi used the Body Flicker to appear directly beside Asuma and unleashed the secret technique passed down through generations of the Sarutobi Clan. Sarutobi Taijutsu Ultimate Art: Iron Fist of Fatherly Love. Then the children saw Asuma lying on the ground with a huge bump on his head, his life and death unknown. Smoke was rising from him; he was still warm!

"Ahem! Let's continue... I was just talking about becoming an independent ninja. Yes, only after systematically studying theory, training, experience, history, and practical application at the Ninja Academy..." Professor Sarutobi began lecturing again, but this time, no one was paying attention to him.

"So fast! I didn't even see an afterimage!" Duke looked admiringly toward Hiruzen Sarutobi, who had returned to the stage and resumed speaking. Forget him, a little brat who was not even a Genin—among the ninjas present, including the Jonin, fewer than ten percent had seen it clearly.

The few unscrupulous uncles who had clearly seen the Hokage form hand seals gathered together.

Konoha's White Fang, Hatake Sakumo, who had come to attend his son's entrance ceremony, said quietly, "If I remember correctly, that little brat should be Lord Naruto's second son! He's got some nerve. My Kakashi can't compare at all. He'll definitely become an incredible ninja someday. Hehehe..."

"It was indeed him. Who was he confessing to just now? I was too busy listening to Lord Naruto to notice." Yūhi Shinku looked worried. It can't have been Kurenai, can it?

"..." Mitarashi Shixiao remained silent. Sure enough, that kid was an enlarged, bolded, humanoid collection of bad luck. In just a few minutes, he had humiliated Lord Naruto and his son in public. But why do I feel so happy inside? I really want to find somewhere to laugh for a while.

"Huh! Shixiao, what's wrong? Is your face cramping?" Hatake Sakumo asked sharply.

"No!"

"Could it be that your injury hasn't healed? Natsuki's medical skills have declined!" Yūhi Shinku waggled his eyebrows. Combined with his horse-like face, it looked indescribably strange.

"I'm not injured!"

"Sigh, why are you still hiding things from us? Don't worry, we won't go around spreading rumors." Hatake Sakumo began waggling his eyebrows as well. This was Konoha's hottest piece of gossip lately.

"As old comrades, don't you want to tell us who the mother of your illegitimate daughter is? We've all seen the photo. She's a real beauty, so her mother must be stunning too! Is she in Konoha, or somewhere else in the Land of Fire?" Yūhi Shinku could no longer stay silent. Gossip about the Anbu Captain—this was a first since Konoha had been founded.

"It's a boy!" Mitarashi Shixiao did not bother explaining. The whole of Konoha knew about this mess. He wanted to explain, but who would believe him? It wasn't as if he could pull out Lord Naruto's mission scroll.

"Really? I never thought a boy could be this adorable. I should keep Kakashi away from him; after all, he's my only son." Hatake Sakumo paused, then continued, "We don't care whether it's a boy or a girl, so don't change the subject! Natsuki has already accepted your illegitimate... son. When are you bringing your mistress home?"

"Yeah, yeah! When are you bringing her home? Then we can gather... gather around to lend support." The gloating Yūhi Shinku nearly let it slip, but his veteran driving skills were strong. He forcefully took the turn and corrected himself in time. "Natsuki has a strong personality. The fact that she accepted your illegitimate... son has already shocked us. Getting her to accept two women serving one husband won't be easy. When the time comes, us old comrades can put in a good word for you and try our best. Hey, maybe she'll agree."

"Exactly, this will have to rely on us!" Hatake Sakumo pounded his chest loudly and declared righteously, "I guarantee it with the reputation of Konoha's White Fang: when the time comes, we brothers will definitely handle this beautifully for you. When we handle things, you can rest assured!"

Rest assured my ass. If there really were such a thing, you two would definitely be sitting nearby on little stools, watching me make a fool of myself. Right now, I just want to stamp my size-forty-two shoeprint onto the size-thirty-eight faces of you two gossiping bastards. Veins bulged on Mitarashi Shixiao's forehead. How did I ever become friends with these two immoral pieces of trash?

Mitarashi Shixiao was utterly vexed. Ignoring the two buzzing flies before him, he closed his eyes, leaned against a tree, and pretended to nap. Hatake Sakumo and Yūhi Shinku exchanged a glance and nodded secretly. Tight-lipped, huh? But this wasn't over. There were still plenty of beasts in the Jonin class waiting for their news!

"...I hereby announce that from today onward, you are proud students of the Konoha Ninja Academy." As Hiruzen Sarutobi's voice fell, Duke's ninja career began!

That year was Konoha Year 38.