Chapter 266

In the evenings, he could play games with Hua Xin or Gu Xin Hua for a while. Time, whether he consciously cared or not, seemed to flow by relentlessly, like a merciless wheel, slowly crushing him. No one could change it. Xia Yan knew this deeply. After experiencing so much, he wouldn't presume to control time or change anything. Some things are meant to remain deep in memory, and some things are destined to gradually fade away. Just as his unforgettable childhood memories were destined to fade, becoming a deep-seated nail in his heart, so too would the pain, difficulties, and hardships of life, as well as the happiness and sweetness. But now, Xia Yan strangely wanted to dream. Could time slow down? Could it slow down a little? The Xia Ji sun was scorching and bright. The temperature had soared to over twenty degrees Celsius, enough for short sleeves, but Xia Yan's heart remained cool, no matter how intense the heat outside. He slowly walked up the steps, and the sunlight shining on him was suddenly blocked again. "..." Several men were smoking nearby. Xia Yan only caught snippets of conversations from two of them on the phone. Loans. Resignations. It seemed the cigarettes burning out slowly were like the dignity they were gradually sacrificing for their families or relatives. Xia Yan paused, then looked away and walked through the door. He didn't smoke, or rather, fate hadn't given him the chance. Just a door away, he could feel the quiet of the hospital. There were noises, conversations, and footsteps. But Xia Yan felt a profound stillness. What kind of stillness? Not the silence of a noisy classroom suppressed by a teacher's anger, nor the stillness of lying alone in bed with no sound around, nor the stillness of wearing earplugs and noise-canceling headphones. Xia Yan slowly stopped, the mirror on the fire hydrant on the wall reflecting his expression. His expression was somber, his eyes dull and lifeless. A thin layer of short, stiff stubble had grown on his unkempt lips, and the red lettering of the fire hydrant conveniently obscured his face. He forced a less-than-attractive smile, trying to appear normal, to look as if nothing was wrong. But the smile vanished quickly. After repeating this several times, Xia Yan seemed to have found the expression he wanted. The gentle, relaxed expression he used to easily put on now felt incredibly difficult. He got into the elevator, and only after the doors opened did he belatedly remember what task he needed to complete and what expression he needed to wear. The corridor was quiet once more. This was the inpatient ward, mostly filled with patients kept under observation for various symptoms; a very few had no specific diagnosis. But for most, it was likely they wouldn't have much time left. Xia Yan walked step by step. Some of the ward doors were open, while others were tightly closed. Occasionally, he could hear suppressed groans, but the pain they carried was unimaginable to Xia Yan. He glanced around again and again. Many of them had changed drastically since Xia Yan first met them. Xia Yan remembered that when he had just been transferred to Baijing Hospital not long ago, the old man surnamed Wang was full of energy and could easily do simple things like walking, eating, and using the toilet. But now, he was in great pain just lying there. His face was no longer smiling; instead, his brows were furrowed. He was also surnamed Wang, but there was a significant age difference. He was probably in his thirties. Xia Yan remembered that not long ago, he had been very strong in front of his family, still showing confidence in life despite having undergone surgery for a fracture. Now, his family wasn't in the ward; they were probably out buying lunch like him, or busy with other things. He looked very lonely. This accident not only drained his body and money, but also his and his family's future. Xia Yan quickened his pace, no longer looking at those people. The central hospital of the country's top city was somewhat different, yet not so different. It was all about spending money to buy life... whether poor or rich, all seemed so vulnerable in the face of illness. They arrived. Xia Yan forced himself to appear normal and gentle, instead of wearing a terrible and dejected expression. "Click." The doorknob was pulled open. At this moment, Xia Yan seemed to understand what that tranquility truly meant. It was a deathly stillness. 204. The Illness Xia Yan Would Get If He Left "Lao Hua, are you free after class? Let's go grab a bite?" Suddenly, Mu Feng's slightly throbbing, still weak voice came from beside her. Hua Xin almost instinctively turned off her phone and silently closed the notebook filled with writing. Logically speaking, a girl, whether ordinary, average, or average... well, whatever happens, should only make a token effort to fix her notes at the end of the semester for the sake of grades and under Xia Yan's supervision. She's incredibly lazy, and it's already a sign of respect for her teachers that she doesn't sleep during class. "I have to go to Xia Yan's house. He forgot something, I'll mail it to him." "How about next time?" Hua Xin's tone was somewhat cautious, seemingly flattered by Mu Feng's invitation. "Okay, no problem." "Brother Yan too, he hasn't been to school for almost two or three weeks. The dorm is empty, just me and a 1.8-meter-tall bear, it's really scary..." Mu Feng muttered to himself as he slowly walked towards the window seat not far away. Xiang Guan was still the same as usual at Morning Eight O'Clock Class, seemingly unchanged, still sleeping like a recurring NPC, completely oblivious to Mu Feng's complaints. The girl slowly breathed a sigh of relief, her previously calm heart finally settling down. For her, this was the first time a boy other than Xia Yan had invited her out, and for a moment, Hua Xin was a little taken aback by the situation, appearing somewhat flustered. However, she quickly recovered. Eating... well, there was no way around it now. Even when she was with Xia Yan, she had to wear that mask and hood, a difficulty she had always faced. This morning was another Morning Eight O'Clock Class. Hua Xin, who had always believed that going to school was better than going to work, surprisingly attended class diligently every day, instead of being a lazy worker who only went to work sporadically. And, surprisingly, she even took notes. You see, she'd never had such good habits since starting school. Before exams, she'd just skim through the textbook and call it a day, never paying any attention to the teacher's lectures or notes. But Xia Yan wasn't around. Although that phrase, "Take good notes for me when I'm not here," might only be Xia Yan's way of saying it.