Chapter 319

But the overflowing joy in her eyes and the tears she held back betrayed her immense happiness. 242. The Monster Called Loneliness "So cold." Her hair was suddenly ruffled by the wind, causing Hua Xin to murmur softly. As soon as she got out of the car, a gust of cold wind blew past, the biting wind seeming to penetrate her clothes as if they were nothing, and the piercing chill rose up her spine, making her shiver. The drowsiness she had felt in the car vanished without a trace. During the several-hour car journey, Hua Xin hardly slept the whole way, unlike when she was in Li Xue's car with Xia Yan to go to the sea. Although she was still a little sleepy, it was nothing compared to chatting with Xia Yan. If Hua Xin's previous confusion and inner conflict regarding the identities of "Gu Xin Hua" and "Hua Xin" led to a somewhat distant relationship with Xia Yan, after resolving everything and confiding in him, she now longs to talk to Xia Yan and spend more time by his side. It's like... having someone she can rely on. Before, she would watch countless videos and read numerous bloggers' posts before buying anything, comparing prices and then blindly clicking on an app, assuming it was all a choice made by Steins; Gate. But now it's different. Xia Yan knows a great deal; it seems there's nothing he doesn't know. This isn't just about their shared interests, but about their "life." Brothers usually talk about things they can't discuss with their parents or partners, like complaints and shared interests. And since they've only recently transitioned from Online Relationship to a real-life romance, they naturally avoid overly depressing topics. But when the words "brother" and "couple" merge, a new topic emerges. "Life." Please, they're living together now. Earlier in the car, Hua Xin wanted to buy some clothes. If we disregard fit and quality, buying online would definitely be cheaper than in physical stores. She naturally thought this way, only concerned with saving money and indifferent to everything else. But Xia Yan already knew what kind of life Hua Xin had been living before. Although Hua Xin had never told him or complained about her past, how could Xia Yan not guess? If her previous life was about becoming stronger and growing to gain "recognition," about being accepted and proving herself, then now it was about protecting the person beside her, about living a better life with Hua Xin, living happily together. Xia Yan, who disagreed, naturally wanted to wait until they went back to his grandfather's house after the New Year to buy the clothes. Xia Yan roughly understood the emotions in his heart. [She's suffered enough already. If life with me is still the same as before, then what has he even tried?] Hua Xin insisted that "money shouldn't be spent recklessly like this, but should be spent in a structured, purposeful, and necessary way, with spending leading to more spending later." Through this exchange, Hua Xin and Xia Yan understood each other's thoughts. She wanted to plan for the future. But money shouldn't be saved; if it's necessary, one shouldn't be too stingy. He wanted her to learn to treat herself better, to be able to say, "I want this, buy it for me!" From Hua Xin's perspective, this was more thrifty, while Xia Yan wanted Hua Xin to rely on him more. So... in the end, the compromise was to go shopping and on a date together. "The northern wind is so strong, do you want to hide behind me?" Although both were wearing heavy clothes, Hua Xin, who rarely experienced this kind of weather, still found it a little hard to accept. Fortunately, the sun was shining brightly today, making it a bit warmer than a day without sunshine and with wind and snow, a day when it felt like your ears would freeze off if you stayed outside for even a short while. "Tch, I'm not some little kid who'd fall over at the slightest breeze. Just don't catch a cold." Seeing Xia Yan's questioning as if he were treating a child, Hua Xin stubbornly took a step towards the exit. He followed. Xia Yan watched the girl with long hair, wearing a down jacket, walking and curiously looking around. The loneliness he used to feel coming to this station alone seemed to slowly fade away from the depths of his memory. He returned every year, even though he didn't have any deep memories of this place. His childhood memories were all in Shanghai, as were his struggles and hardships as an adult. Although that city didn't hold any labels like "hometown" or "warmth" for him, it was there that he met Hua Xin, the person who changed his life. In his memory, ever since he tore away the last veil of pretense between his parents' secrets, the house, which used to be occasionally lively, was now deserted. As a child, he lived with Xia Zhongshan. Only when absolutely necessary would he stay at his grandfather's house for a few nights. Later, their "business trips" became increasingly longer, leaving the young and inexperienced Xia Yan alone in that large house for extended periods. Later still, he moved in with his grandfather because his parents hadn't returned for a long time. Even when he cautiously called, the only response was, "The adults are at work, don't bother them," before the call was disconnected before he could say anything. How to describe it? Even a thousand words couldn't capture the feeling of young Xia Yan carrying his schoolbag and walking to his distant grandfather's house. He only remembered the house as terrifying, as if a monster lurked inside. But now, in his "home," there would be no more monsters to frighten Xia Yan. "Should we buy some gifts? Wouldn't it be inappropriate to come empty-handed?" Hua Xin tugged at Xia Yan's clothes, speaking earnestly. Although Xia Yan wanted to say no, he could sense Hua Xin's nervousness. After all, this was his first time taking her grandfather with him. "Shall we buy some New Year's goods?" "Okay! I'll show off my cooking skills during the New Year!" "Thirteen Spices Fried Rice?" "... If you want to eat it, I can make it for you at home, but I don't want to mistreat the elderly during the New Year." The weather was a bit cold, and there were many more footprints on the northern ground. Hua Xin naturally took Xia Yan's arm, and the two walked along chatting and laughing. Suddenly, Xia Yan remembered something. What was that monster? Why did it leave him with such unforgettable fear when he was young? Perhaps... it was a monster called "Loneliness." 243. Meeting the Parents? "Don't be afraid, Grandpa is a very nice person." Looking at the obviously nervous girl beside him, Xia Yan couldn't help but comfort her. Both of them were carrying some New Year's goods they had just bought from the mall. Although they weren't expensive gold or silver jewelry, or luxury gifts like Maotai or Zhonghua cigarettes, they were just some ordinary fruits and New Year's goods. As the year draws to a close, shopping malls everywhere tend to mark up prices significantly, even though Hua Xin wanted to...