Chapter 332

I overheard it by chance. "That Xia Yan child never cries or makes a fuss, and doesn't play with the other children. He's quite a strange child..." Although I don't know why I remember those words so clearly at such a young age, when everything should have been a blur, I had no reason to refute the teacher's assessment—a faceless figure whose face I could barely recall. But why was this happening? I didn't really know. When I was older, I always tried my best to get first or second place in my class, striving to make my grades look impressive. But when I showed my parents my test papers, they didn't even offer a perfunctory compliment, rarely played with me, and seldom came home. Was my behavior not good enough? Was I not obedient enough? Had I caused my parents trouble again? With these thoughts in mind, I tried my best to be a child without any problems. Yes, a child who wouldn't make any demands on my parents, nor cause them any worry. That would probably satisfy them, and they'd whisper something like other parents, "Good job," or "I'll make you something delicious tonight," right? But nothing changed. For a long time, I cautiously pondered why this was happening, why my parents didn't like me, why my classmates didn't like me either. Then my grades started to fluctuate, until even my teachers disliked me. Classmates who used to have worse grades than me started showing off their new ones, playing with their new toys in front of me. These things didn't really matter; I just needed to be myself. I just needed to cook dinner, do laundry, and clean the house every day to make my parents happy... Then they'd say I was an orphan, otherwise why no one came after school or to parent-teacher conferences, and then they'd burst into laughter. I was so angry, I punched them. But there were so many of them, I couldn't even fight back. I could only lie on the ground, protecting my head to avoid getting hit harder, otherwise what if they found out when I got home and caused trouble? I was in so much pain, I didn't know if it was my body that hurt, or my heart. When the teacher found out, she didn't punish the classmates who had insulted me. Instead, she told me to reflect on my own behavior and why they had bullied me. My efforts to protect my head from my parents' notice of my trouble were futile; in fact, they made my arm ache for a while. Since my parents weren't home, they had no way of seeing my injury. Thus, I became the target of their anger and the teacher's scapegoat. But as long as my parents didn't know, and I didn't cause them trouble so they could focus on their work, maybe they would have time to spend with me? With this thought in mind, I tried to be a good, obedient child. But one day, when I forgot my house key and went to my grandfather's to get a spare, I discovered the truth about my parents' absence. They had already divorced and each had remarried. So, all my efforts and persistence were in vain? Had they stopped loving me altogether? In other words, those who had been bullying me all along were right. I was so angry, inexplicably angry, a kind of rage that seemed to pierce the sky, leaving me momentarily at a loss. I opened the door, didn't hide, and calmly told them what I wanted to say, smashing the only birthday present my mother had given me—a cup. With that, my childhood ended completely, like that shattered cup. ———————— My grandfather's name was Xia Jianjun, a very common and frequently used name in their time. I used to always ask him what it was like when he was in the army, whether there was anything particularly fun. Whenever I asked, Grandpa would say there was nothing fun about it; it was a very serious and glorious thing. At that time, I didn't understand, but I was very curious. In my childhood memories, Grandpa was with me for a very long time. I never said I wanted to go to the park, I wanted to go to the amusement park, I wanted to eat this delicious food, or I wanted a certain toy. After leaving that empty house, I moved in with Grandpa. But Grandpa seemed to have mind-reading abilities, magically taking me to all the places I'd only ever heard my classmates brag about. It was as if he wanted to make up for everything my parents hadn't given me, something I knew. But some things, even if made up for, can never be the same again. Yet he seemed to be having more fun at the amusement park than I was, even eating two ice creams by himself. He really was... a childlike old man. When I entered high school, I got into the best high school and did very well academically. I told him I could live alone, that I didn't need money, and I didn't want Xia Zhongshan's money. At that time, I planned to join the army after getting into university, to experience whether the places Grandpa had described were really as interesting as they seemed. Then Grandpa left the house to me, saying, "Don't force yourself, Grandpa will always be here," and returned alone to his hometown in the north, the place where he was born. I became alone. When I entered university, I chose a local one, since I would sign up for the army during conscription time, so being close by was more convenient. I met a strange classmate; she looked a lot like I did when I was a child. I wanted to help her. Perhaps it was because I had experienced those days of being ostracized and isolated that I understood how much effort it takes for someone to overcome adversity and make a change on their own. Maybe just reaching out a hand could save someone? With this thought in mind, I didn't enlist in the army again and chose to finish university. I'm quite capable; with a few simple excuses and reasons, and with my counselor's approval, I communicated with the teachers and explained the situation to my classmates, asking them to try not to have any negative impact on Hua Xin. I would handle the rest. If someone had helped me back then, would I have suffered so much? With this thought in mind, I wanted to save her, and we became good friends. But fate is strange. She became my girlfriend, and in our second New Year together, we got engaged on an unknown date. I will love her for the rest of my life. Grandpa was smiling happily ahead, and Hua Xin was beside me. At that moment, my life had a completely different meaning. Three days after the New Year, Grandpa passed away peacefully. I found him when I went to call him for breakfast in the morning. At that time, his face showed no pain; instead, he looked very peaceful. Yes. He probably has no worries or burdens in his heart anymore. I have my own life now, and Xia Fen is growing up and has been admitted to university. I won't worry about her in the future. Compared to the pain of being in the hospital with tubes all over him, this seems much easier. Was his energetic state a few days ago just a final burst of life before death? I don't know, I'm not sure.