The More You Dig, The Redder This Orphan Gets!
Chapter 25

Teaching the Art of Acting~ I'm About to Fall Apart

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15d ago•

Little Fatty froze for a moment, then answered with utmost seriousness, "I do."

"But I'd rather not die."

Xu Yi: "..."

That was all unnecessary.

"Zhao Xiao, get over here and fight me. I, General Xu, have been waiting ages to flying-kick you."

Bro, I'm graduating soon. Are there still any spots open for fall recruitment?

You're not qualified. Your education isn't up to par. We only hire people with less than a junior college degree.

That was unnecessary too.

Zhao Xiao hesitantly looked at Jin Debiao, then at the principal.

"Coach, should I accept?"

"Principal, should he accept?"

"Xu Yi, is he accepting or not?"

Xu Yi: "I'm serious. Tell him to accept."

"Okay."

Before he stepped into the ring, Jin Debiao said earnestly, "When you fight, make it look real... If you actually hit him, you can forget about graduating."

Zhao Xiao: "???"

"So you mean I should make it look halfway real and halfway fake, and keep the young master happy?"

"You're still too young. I've got experience with this. Listen carefully."

"Just feeding him moves won't work. The young master will think you're genuinely lousy! You need to start by landing a few killer moves, then ease up and say, 'Young master, you were holding back on purpose just now, weren't you? Look, once I got serious, even the pros couldn't beat me! It's such an honor to fight you!' Better yet, shout it so the people watching nearby can hear. And every so often, barely win a few exchanges while shouting, 'Young master, you're going easy on me again! You don't want me to lose too badly!' When you can tell the young master's running out of steam, let him beat the crap out of you. Hurry up and say you can't go on and want to give up."

Zhao Xiao listened, utterly bewildered.

"Coach, how do you know so much?"

"It's nothing. Just a little hardship. You've got plenty to learn, so pay attention. Remember: a martial arts match isn't just about fighting. It's about human relations."

Zhao Xiao looked enlightened. "Got it. Time to put my acting skills to the test."

You've got this, Zhao Xiao!

Bingbing was intrigued too, and zoomed in on the two people in the training hall.

"Quick, give this livestream a title. Call it 'Great Xia Traditional Martial Arts vs. Korean Taekwondo.'"

Bingbing knew how to come up with a title.

Anything involving a contentious topic drew in a flood of viewers.

And looking at the two fighters' positions on the livestream, they really did look like masters about to face off.

The viewers were hooked.

The livestream's viewer count shot up.

I'll bet ten bucks Taekwondo loses.

Why?

I got conned by a Taekwondo guy once and had to pay him tens of thousands.

I think Taekwondo can win. I watched a TV show once where some girl named Baicao kicked like crazy. She even had a triple whirlwind kick.

Isn't traditional martial arts just for keeping fit? The old folks downstairs are always practicing tai chi.

New viewers, you probably don't know how good Xu Yi is at fighting. Taekwondo's definitely going to lose.

As the viewers argued back and forth, the match began.

Zhao Xiao kept repeating the coach's instructions under his breath: land a killer move first, then ease up.

I'll start with a left front kick!

And then... nothing.

Xu Yi moved incredibly fast. He landed a punch and a kick on two of Zhao Xiao's pressure points, and Zhao Xiao fell straight to the ground.

Negative Emotion Points +100

Everyone was dumbfounded by the result.

Holy crap, how was this not fixed?

Those two light taps and the Taekwondo guy was already down? What a joke.

Were you unhappy with what they paid you? Is that why your acting was so bad?

I'll do it for half the price. I guarantee I'll act better than him.

Get lost, wage slaves! People like you are the reason working conditions are so bad these days.

Coach Jin sighed in exasperation. "Zhao Xiao, you blew your chance to join the department. Acting that fake isn't going to make the young master happy."

Zhao Xiao groaned in pain. "Coach~ Coach~ Ah, Coach~~ I feel like my whole body's about to split apart, Coach~~~"

"Shut up! Cut out that pathetic act."

Zhao Xiao got slapped so hard his head rocked back and forth. "Coach, I wasn't even acting yet. The young master's really good at fighting! I didn't even have time to react before I was on the ground."

"Now that's some decent acting. Why didn't you do that from the start?"

"But I really wasn't acting."

Unfortunately, no matter how much Zhao Xiao tried to explain, nobody believed him.

Little Fatty: "Bro, did the other guy go easy on you?"

Xu Yi: "The hell he did. I'm just too strong."

Seeing Little Fatty, the principal, and even Bingbing give him doubtful looks, Xu Yi decided they needed another match.

That way, the boss would definitely feel the two thousand five hundred yuan had been worth every penny.

Xu Yi: "Let someone else come up. The last guy was... too weak."

"Coach~~ Let me go! I'm great at acting."

"Coach~ I've got plenty of fat. The young master won't hurt his hand hitting me. Let me go instead."

Jin Wang pondered for a moment. "Coach, let me take this one."

Jin Debiao looked at everyone's eager faces and smiled with satisfaction.

The club president, especially, was leading the charge.

That drive reminded him of himself back in the day.

Little Jin, you couldn't keep up with my kicks earlier, but you'd better take up the responsibility that comes next.

Amid the viewers' protests, Jin Wang entered the ring.

As soon as he stepped up, he showed off a flashy series of kicks.

Wow, he's so cool! And a guy with that kind of flexibility, too.

I wish my girlfriend were that flexible.

What a joke. What use are those kicks? They look impressive but are useless.

The match hasn't even started and he's already pulled a muscle.

I heard from someone in the know that the club president's fighting this time. He shouldn't go easy, right?

Jin Wang's gaze was sharp as he bounced on his feet, setting his own rhythm.

Land a killer move first... then ease up!

"Young ma—Xu Yi, I'm not going easy on you like Zhao Xiao did. First, I'll hit you with a downward kick, then a whirlwind kick, then a roundhouse. Three moves, and you're KO'd."

Coach Jin nodded approvingly. "Good. Start by talking tough before the match. Zhao Xiao, take notes. These are useful tricks."

Jin Wang also glanced over at Zhao Xiao.

What a useless Zhao Xiao. He couldn't even act.

The match began~

Here comes my downward kick!

But Xu Yi was even faster. Before Jin Wang could see what was happening, the sole of Xu Yi's shoe was right in front of his face.

Jin Wang's pupils contracted sharply, and he hurriedly raised his hands to block.

To his surprise, Xu Yi's lower leg twisted strangely, aiming for the bridge of his nose.

"That's... a change-up kick?!"

Holy crap, you actually know how to do that.

Xu Yi blinked, seeming to realize something too.

Wait, I need to beat him using traditional martial arts.

Xu Yi abruptly pulled his foot back and launched into a powerful set of Xing Yi Quan.

Wham~

In just three exchanges, Jin Wang was sent flying, his face battered and bruised.

Negative Emotion Points +200

This newly paved road sure is smooth.

What's that supposed to mean?

There aren't any pebbles!

The Streamer Friends began arguing again.

Wait, something's off. This traditional martial arts fighter actually seems to know what he's doing.

He played the poet who failed at drinking and writing verse!

Great, it's a poet! We're saved!

That traditional martial arts guy has trained a little, sure, but there's no way he could beat the other guy in three moves. This is way too fake.

Refund! Refund! Damn it, give me my money back!

They're fixing the match in broad daylight! You're making traditional martial arts look like a joke!

"Coach~~ Coach~~ Coach~ My body feels like it's about to split apart~~ Coach~ I feel like the pain's making me fly~~"

Why were they all putting on such a ridiculous act?

Jin Debiao sighed. He'd taught them seriously, but his students just didn't seem to have much talent.

The acting business really was full of pitfalls. They couldn't handle it. He'd have to step in.

Jin Wang grabbed his hand. "Coach, don't let your guard down. He's really trained before, and he's strong! I don't think he's any weaker than you."

End of Chapter
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