I Know My Problem Has Touched the Depths of Your Soul

"..."

The corner of Xiao Zhan's mouth twitched. One look told him his son was up to no good.

Taking a deep breath, Xiao Zhan said with an expression like he was going all in, "Name your price."

Xiao Lang immediately grinned and held up one finger.

"One hundred thousand gold coins."

"One hundred thousand gold coins? Why don't you just rob me?" Xiao Zhan immediately refused.

He cursed, "A bowl of chicken noodle soup outside only costs ten gold coins. You brat raised the price by ten thousand times! I'm your real father, and you're gouging me like this?"

"That's right."

Xiao Lang chuckled. "Robbing your own father doesn't count as robbery. It's called inheritance."

"I'm not even dead yet, and you're already thinking about inheriting my money? Let's see if I don't beat you to death, you unfilial brat!"

Xiao Zhan's face darkened at once. He pulled off his belt, ready to give Xiao Lang a proper lesson.

"Wait! Let me ask you a question." Xiao Lang wore a serious expression.

"Ask."

"If you die, won't all this money belong to us brothers?"

"Yes."

"Then aren't you using us brothers' money right now?"

Xiao Lang looked like the most filial son in the world. "What's wrong with me spending my own money in advance?"

"..."

Xiao Zhan fell silent.

He suddenly realized his brain did not seem to be working well enough.

He clearly felt something was wrong, yet he could not explain what exactly was wrong.

"I know my problem has touched the depths of your soul. Once you've thought it over, remember to send the money over."

Xiao Lang walked over and patted Xiao Zhan on the shoulder, his harmless, sunny-boy smile returning to his face.

What a joke. Was there anyone in this world that the King of Head Wash from Jiangnan could not PUA?

Seeing his father beginning to question his entire life, Xiao Yan could not help twitching at the corner of his mouth. If his Third Brother had been in his previous life, he would definitely have been the leader of a CX Organization.

But even washing his own biological father's brain—only Third Brother could pull that off.

Fortunately, he had no money.

"Little brother, if you don't have money, just write an IOU."

Xiao Lang took out a sheet of blank paper and handed it to Xiao Yan.

After all, this kid would be incredibly rich in the future.

"..."

The corner of Xiao Yan's mouth twitched. Had his Third Brother gone mad with "killing"?

He was even robbing his own younger brother?

"Enough!"

Xiao Zhan finally sorted it out. He looked at Xiao Lang irritably and said, "I'm not dead yet. This money is mine. It will only be yours after I die."

"Father, look at how stingy you are. Do I, Xiao Lang, look like someone short of money?"

Xiao Lang stopped teasing Xiao Zhan. His old man had gotten a bargain and was still acting smug about it.

He simply needed a lesson!

"Father, have you forgotten why you came to find us?"

Xiao Yan quietly reminded him.

"Damn it! It's all because of you two little brats. All you know is eat, eat, eat. The clan members are all waiting at the Dou Qi Pavilion!"

Xiao Zhan slapped his forehead upon hearing that. He immediately stood up and looked at Xiao Lang. "You little brat, hurry up and come with me to the Dou Qi Pavilion to choose a cultivation method."

"I'm only at the ninth stage of Dou Qi. What cultivation method am I supposed to choose? Besides, I don't think much of those low-grade cultivation methods of the Xiao Clan. Not to mention that I already have a cultivation method. As for what it is, two words... Mo Wen." Xiao Lang could not be bothered to go to the Dou Qi Pavilion to choose a cultivation method.

He already had the Water Art. In the future, he was destined to become the Water Emperor!

Do not ask why he would not be called the Lang Emperor. It sounded a little too weak.

"Mo Wen? What kind of cultivation method is that? It sounds very high-level." Xiao Yan frowned and asked curiously.

"..."

The corner of Xiao Lang's mouth twitched. With a solemn expression, he looked at Xiao Zhan and suggested, "Father, I think cultivating Dou Qi is important, but education is important too. Shouldn't we hire a tutor for my little brother?"

"..."

Xiao Yan also realized what he meant. He was so embarrassed he could have dug out a three-bedroom apartment with his toes.

"Go, go, go. I think your little brother is much smarter than you. Look at him—he's already a Three-star Dou Practitioner!"

Xiao Zhan glared at Xiao Lang irritably, then let out a sigh and said:

"Alright. You're an adult now, so your father won't make every decision for you anymore. I have things to do, so I'll be leaving first."

With that, Xiao Zhan gave Xiao Lang a deep look before walking out.

Once Xiao Zhan had left, Xiao Yan looked at Xiao Lang with a serious expression. "Brother, I cultivated all night last night, but my Dou Qi only increased by a tiny bit. Is there something wrong with my cultivation method?"

"Hey, I thought it was something serious. What's there to make such a fuss about? Every night when I cultivate, my Dou Qi only increases by the tiniest little bit. Have I ever complained?" Xiao Lang rolled his eyes and said in a completely serious tone.

"..."

The corner of Xiao Yan's mouth twitched. He really wanted to say, "I'm not you," but to avoid hurting his Third Brother's pride, he chose to remain silent.

Seeing Xiao Yan's worried expression, Xiao Lang knew that Old Yao must be absorbing Xiao Yan's Dou Qi.

He just did not know whether he should say anything. If he did, there was a good chance it would change the plot, and Xiao Yan might not achieve such great accomplishments in the future.

But if he said nothing, Xiao Yan would be cursed as trash for three years. The people who had once admired him would leave him, and that feeling of betrayal truly would not be pleasant.

But without those three years, how could Xiao Yan see through people's hearts and temper his calm, steady personality?

Just as Xiao Lang was hesitating, the system's choices appeared before him once again.

"Choice One: As a Demon Brother Who Dotes on Younger Brother, how could you bear to watch your younger brother Xiao Yan suffer such injustice? You choose to take away the ring! Reward upon completing the mission: one level increase! One Dou Emperor Pill! (Note: However, the plot will change, the Three-Year Pact will no longer exist, and you and Xiao Yan may very well fade into obscurity.)"

"Choice Two: Turn around and leave, loudly saying, 'What the hell does it have to do with me?' Reward upon completing the mission: one level increase, and Xiao Yan will never want to travel the continent with you again!"

"Choice Three: Pat Xiao Yan on the shoulder to encourage him, then feed him another bowl of chicken soup to help him regain his confidence! Reward upon completing the mission: one level increase, and you will receive an exclusive weapon!"

Looking at the three choices before him, Xiao Lang decisively gave up on Choice One.

Although the Dou Emperor Pill was tempting, once the plot deviated, too many things would become uncontrollable. Without absolute strength, what was a single Dou Emperor Pill worth?

By the later stages, Dou Venerables would be everywhere. A Dou Emperor would not even count as cannon fodder.

As for Choice Two, did the little system have a fifty-year cerebral thrombosis to come up with an option like that?

However, one thing immediately put Xiao Lang on guard.

Xiao Yan actually wanted to travel the continent with him!

Was this guy trying to turn gay!?

No!

He had to properly correct the other man's sexual orientation.

What kind of joke was this? I, Xiao Lang, had been a scumbag my whole life. How could I be turned gay by you?

A flock of wives and concubines, beauties in both arms, three meals a day—now that was his dream!

Who the hell wanted to travel the continent with a stinking man like him?

I just want to freeload off the choice.

After thinking it through, Xiao Lang picked up the chicken soup he had left and walked over to Xiao Yan. He then patted him on the shoulder and said indulgently:

"Be good. Open your mouth."